This is my third fanfiction and I'm writing this story at the same time as Cullens vs. Parkers and I Can't Believe It's Actually Real. This one is gonna be really funny and I'm already planning a sequel and another sequel to the sequel. That is really confusing. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!
CPOV
I stepped out of my black Mercedes and heard screaming coming from the house. My beautiful wife Esme walked out the front door and walked over to me gracefully. "Hello darling," I said to her. "Hi," she said in an exasperated tone and kissed me. "What are they fighting about now?" I asked her. "Well Emmett and Jasper are fighting over who hunted the biggest animal, and Alice, Bella, Rosalie, and Edward are fighting over shopping," she said. "Well I understand Emmett and Jasper's fight, but how do you fight about shopping?" I asked. My family fights too much.
"Alice wants Bella to go shopping with her and Bella doesn't want to. Edward is defending her of course and Rosalie is saying that Alice shops too much," my wife explained. "Well that sounds about right. They need to learn when enough is enough. This has to end," I said and my wife nodded.
We walked inside and nobody noticed us. They were all screaming so loud it almost hurt my sensitive ears. I need to stop this. "Everybody quiet!" I yelled loudly. I rarely yelled, but they were pretty loud. It obviously worked because everyone just stared at me in shock. "Family meeting," I said calmly.
My family and I all sat down at the table and they all looked at me curiously, even my wife. "You guys are much too old to be acting this way. You're technically senior citizens. You fight too much and you need to learn peace, so I have decided that you are all going to therapy," the seven faces of my family stared at me in shock.
BPOV
"Alice I'm not going shopping with you!" I yelled angrily. I hate shopping and when she drags me along with her, all I do is carry her bags while she buys the family clothes. "Alice you can't force her to go shopping with you," my amazing husband said. I love him so much. "Stop trying to force people to go shopping with you! Bella hates shopping for some reason. Just accept the fact that she's crazy and move on!" Rosalie said angrily. "Hey I am not crazy!" I screamed at Rosalie while Edward growled loudly. "You don't like shopping. You have to be crazy," she said rudely. Edward growled again.
I heard Emmett and Jasper fighting over who hunted the biggest animal. Why do they care? They are so stupid. I would never fight about something like that. Ugh. We fight WAY too much, I thought.
EPOV
"I CAUGHT THE BIGGEST ANIMAL!" I thundered at Jasper. I caught the biggest grizzly bear I had ever seen. Heck, I caught the biggest animal I had ever seen. "No I did!" Jasper yelled at me. He's just jealous of my awesomeness, I thought. I should say that out loud! "You're just jealous of my awesomeness!" I yelled at him. I am so smart. "What awesomeness?" he asked. "Is that all you got? Bring it on!" I yelled at him. What he said was sounawesome.
I heard Bella, Alice, Edward, and my hot wife fighting over shopping. How do you fight about shopping? Shopping is stupid. They are such girls, I thought. Even Edward is fighting about it. He is such a sissy, I thought.
Okay so I know this chapter is short, but they will get longer as they go on. This story is really fun and it's going to get MUCH better. I really hope you guys like it. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! The more reviews I get the faster I will update! =) I love all you guys! =D