A/N: I've been away from this fandom for a long, long time. But I've been getting back into it, and I recently re-watched some of my favorite episodes. So here's a drabble thing set after "How Long is Forever?" Comments are greatly appreciated because I'm so rusty with this show/these characters.
I would also like to thank my favorite ninja for editing this. (You know who you are.)
Better in Time
The first thing he did when he got back to his headquarters was take a long cold shower in order to attempt to untangle his many complicated thoughts.
It had been good to see them – especially her – once more. He had long since resigned himself to the fact that the Teen Titans were over, never to fight as a team again.
Of course, seeing Star changed that. If there was any chance for her to go back, to change this lonely life he created for himself, he would help. He had to. They had been lucky that Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven changed their minds in the end. There had been one last hurrah, one last time to pull together as a team, as a family… He missed their family.
When Star first disappeared, he blamed himself. He should have done this, or maybe if he did that… The others did not attempt to talk him out of it like Starfire would have. They all knew him better than that.
He was the first to leave. He couldn't stand being in the tower without Star. There were just too many memories, and he couldn't handle the guilt.
He never planned on this, anyway. He left Gotham and Batman to do his own thing; to prove he wasn't just a sidekick; that he could make it on his own. Never would he have imagined that he would soon find himself in charge of a motley gang of teenage crime fighters.
After leaving the Titans, he called in one last favor from Bruce and got a new costume, along with a new persona. Robin, as far as he was concerned, was dead to him; the title given to Bruce's new ward. Now, he was Nightwing.
For the most part, the last twenty years had been decent. He had a job and a place to live and there was food on the table. He had the occasional date with the many beautiful women who threw themselves at him, but he never looked for a relationship.
How could he, after failing Starfire?
He had only been sixteen, but he'd loved her. There were no doubts in his mind about this fact.
And while he got by, he wasn't really happy. There was something missing, a certain foreign something.
Sometimes he still dreamt about her. Flashes of who she had been haunted his lonely nights. Mostly, she was smiling or asking yet another question, but on the worse nights, he saw her in a different light.
He had to get away from here; he didn't want to hurt his friends. He ran down the gargantuan letters spelling out "Wayne," only to have his progress halted by a certain angry redhead. He slowly stopped in his tracks, wondering how on earth he was going to get out of this.
He never imagined she could look at him with such a hostile expression on her face. Even her brilliant jade eyes were narrowed. "Do. Not. Move," she warned in a steely, dangerous voice.
And then something in her broke, her starbolt vanished and her gaze softened, betrayed.
There was nothing he could ever do to fix this.
Every single day of the last twenty years, he kicked himself for not telling Starfire how he really felt about her. He'd had so many opportunities and he had blown all of them.
He got out of the shower, looking straight into the mirror as he dried off. It was strange, but he had hardly looked at his own reflection lately. There was something different about his eyes…were they a few shades lighter than their normal sapphire? He'd known his face his whole life, but still he couldn't quite put his finger on the subtle difference, whatever it might be.
He stared at his reflection long and hard before suddenly shaking his head and decided it didn't matter.
He wondered if Star got back safely. He hoped so, and he hoped she managed to fix things.
Any future with Starfire in it had to be better than this.