*Disclaimer*

I own not Deadpool. 'Tis a pity, but I don't. 'Tis also a pity I don't own Avatar. Then again, fans of both may decide to kill me if I mess up, so… yeah, maybe 'tis for the the best, aye?

CHAPTER ONE

The sun beat down on the village with vengeance. People were in their homes trying to cool off, to no avail. A single cabbage merchant stood in the heat taking better care of his cabbages than himself, covering hem in cool cloth and sprinkling drinking water on them. The poor beautiful things were ignored… why did not people understand the beauty of Cabbages?

He looked east, hoping to see someone with "I need Cabbages" written on them.

He stared on in shock.

One man walked towards the village. He wore clothes that were… strange to say the least. Red and black spandex, a mask with black pools around the eyes. Though the Merchant didn't know that. Twin katanas on his back, though the Merchant couldn't see them. He continued to talk to himself, though the Merchant couldn't hear him.

"I knew it, knew it. I should have made the right turn at Kuala Lumpur, but no, that damn GPS had to say left… well, maybe it didn't help that I was playing Crush the GPS with it, but hey, I was bored!" The man said, pouting below his mask.

"And how do you know I'm pouting, huh?" He asked, only to answer himself by saying, "Oh, right, you're the one writing me."

The Cabbage Merchant looked in confusion as the man neared him, seemingly talking to himself. Then he looked up- or down- at the Merchant, and shrugged.

"Old midget. Maybe I should have brought Domino- she doesn't admit it, but I'm pretty sure she has a thing for old midgets…"

Then he saw the cabbages.

"Holy smokes, man-or-midget! GET BACK!" He yelled, kicking the Merchant a few feet back, before drawing Katanas and slicing the cabbages, cart and all, into bits, ignoring the Merchant's screams. He then took out a lighter and set fire to the remaining bits.

"There, that's better." He said wiping his hands on the Merchant, who was sobbing pitifully and yelling "MY CABBAGES!".

Ignoring the sobbing Merchant, the man stood up. "Hey, what's the deal! You revealed the midget and Domino, but not me?! Tell the readers my name, ya dork!" Yelled Deadpool at the sky.

"That's better… Now let's kick asses and take names!" He yelled in soprano mode.

He ran into the village giggling like a young girl, while the Merchant continued to yell "MY CAAAAABBAGES! WHY?!"

All in all, he was probably in for a good time…