Amends Rewrite

One shot. As Angel waits for the sun to rise, he's visited by someone he thought he'd never see again. (I Have Loved You Wrong series addition).

With slow but steady steps, Angel walked the hill behind his mansion. From there, he could see the whole town laid before him.

Like a blanket against the cold, peace draped over him as he took in the rooftops. The last time he'd felt such peace literal blankets were wrapped around him as well as a beautiful girl. Centuries in Acathla's hell dimension had dimmed the memory, but even faded, it was still his favorite.

He might have lost himself that night but before he became her enemy, before he tried to end the world, before she saved it by killing him, before she ran away . . . that night, they loved each other.

Putting his hands in his pocket, he looked at the town she'd abandoned and thought it seemed darker without her . . . everything did.

This place was her purpose, her meaning - just like she'd been his purpose, his meaning.

With a small smile, he whispered her name: "Buffy." Whether he meant it as a wish or a prayer, he wanted her name to be the last word he spoke.

Watching the distant stars fade one by one, he savored her memory and his refound peace.

"So this is how it ends, huh? This is how you end." Footsteps approached him. "Alone, on a hill, waiting for sunlight."

He didn't answer the voice or even glance in its direction. The evil that haunted him didn't matter anymore. Having made his decision, nothing could change his mind.

"I never thought about how easy suicide could be for a vampire." She stood by his side with a frown. "A little bit of light and centuries of existence crumble into dust."

Staring at the horizon, he frowned too. "You smell like her."

Buffy looked at him and thought about how to answer. Eventually, she settled on, "Something has come into your life to destroy you or maybe just a part of you." Hesitantly she reached out and touched his arm. "I'm something else."

Refusing to look at her, he mused. "I bet she's happy right now. Lying in her bed . . . surrounded by lights. . . dreaming of the future."

Buffy inched her hand into his coat pocket entwining her fingers with his. "If she was here right now, she'd tell you to go inside. There's only a few minutes left."

He caressed her hand with his thumb. "I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes."

She moved closer leaning into him. "Why now? Why today?"

"Why wait?" Finally, he met her eyes. "I'm weak. I've never been anything else." He looked at the ground between them. "I can't do it again. I can't become a killer."

In a low, hoarse voice, she replied, "I can never know the guilt you carry or the battle you wage against the demon inside you." Imagining how he lived, she shook her head. "That burden - that struggle - every day . . . you are stronger than everyone you've ever met."

From his lips came an involuntary scoff.

She gently squeezed his hand. "Someone with that kind of strength has the power to do real good, to make amends." She continued in a soft voice, "But if you crumble now, then all that you ever were was a monster."

He didn't reply.

As the sky lightened, her anxiety grew, but she tried hard to keep her voice calm. "Angel, the sun is coming up."

Looking at the horizon, he caressed her hand again. "Will you stay with me?"

She nodded fiercely. "If you walk down this hill, I'll stay with you as long as you need."

He looked at their hands in his pocket. "Please. Just this once . . . Let me be strong."

Slowly, she pulled her hand from his. "Strong is fighting. It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. But we have to do it." She watched his hand dangle limply at his side. "Even if we never win, there are things worth fighting for." Grabbing his arm, she moved to face him. "Your love for her, her love for you - I wouldn't be here if that wasn't real!"

Looking ready to cry, he choked out, "It's gone."

"It's right here!" Stepping closer, she shook him. "If it can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can." She started pushing him backwards. "But I did not come all this way to watch you die again."

"What are y-" He tried shirking her hold, but she was too determined.

"I am not losing you."

"Buffy."

Hearing her name, she stumbled.

Immediately, she caught her.

When she looked up, she saw him gazing at the sky. . . and the snow. Lightly at first and then heavier, white swirls of snowflakes surrounded them.

With her hands on his hips and his hands on her shoulders, they watched the miracle in the sky.

Through empty streets covered in snow, Buffy and Angel walked through town. They didn't exchange looks or words, but their hands felt fused together.

Eventually, their journey brought them back to the mansion.

Buffy sat on the couch while Angel built them a fire.

Seeing him approach, she felt a flutter of nerves. "You must be exhausted."

He sat down beside her. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?"

That plea somehow stopped all her flutters. Reaching out, she pulled him towards her so his head rested in her lap. "Rest." Slowly, she ran her fingers through his hair and he settled into her.

Just when she felt his body start to go limp, he asked, "Did you mean it?"

Her fingers stilled in his hair.

He continued, "Does she still love me - wherever she is?"

With one hand in his hair and the other on his heart, she answered, "Wherever she is, she will always love you."

He covered the hand on his chest with his own. "I don't want to die without seeing her again."

Leaning down, she placed a kiss against his temple. "Then don't."

Her fingers continued their path through his hair and they both listened to the crackling fire until he fell asleep.

She waited for the fire to burn out entirely before sliding out from under him. She replaced her lap with a pillow and while bending down, she kissed his temple again. Into his ear, she murmured, "I wish we could fight our battles together, but our lives are on different paths." She caressed his cheek. "If they're ever going to come together again, then we both need to keep fighting."

She breathed deep. "Giving up means losing hope and that's . . .that's" Her voice trembled with emotion. "that's not how our story should end." She stood up on shaky legs. "So stay strong. . . for me."

Wiping her tears, she walked out of his home and out of his life. She'd helped him survive his lowest moment; the moments after that were up to him.

If you want to read how their life paths come together again, check out my fanfic series I Have Loved You Wrong.

Lines taken from the Buffy series season 3 episodes 10 and 11, "Amends" and "Gingerbread."