I started this fic about 4000 years ago (which is in no way an exaggeration). I think it's because I haven't written any Harry Potter smut in forever, unapologetic Gleek that I am, that it took me so long to finish this. But I'm getting back to my roots, smut-wise.

But yeah. Harry/Luna and Draco/Hermione are both established couples in this not too distant future. But other than that this is basically just plotless filth. Huzzah.

So reviews would be just peachy, Humble Readers. Chuck some at me.

And everything belongs to the Goddess that is Her Majesty, Queen JK Rowling. I'm just making her characters do stuff that she probably wouldn't approve of.

The Wonderfully Unexpected

It had all started one winter's evening, when the Ministry of Magic were holding their annual Christmas Party. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy – who had bonded when Draco switched sides during the war and had become somewhat friends once they both started working in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement – were standing by the bar, each with a Butterbeer in hand, wondering where on Earth their girlfriends had gone.

"They said they were just going to the bathroom," said Harry. "What's taking them so long?"

"No idea," drawled Draco, taking a sip of his drink and clearly not caring as much.

"Maybe we should look for them or something," Harry suggested.
Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm sure they're fine and you're just being your usual, paranoid, everyone's-out-to-kill- me-and-everyone-I-know self. But, if it'll shut you up, let's go."

Dodging the drunken old wizards and flirty young witches as they went, they made their way out towards the women's bathroom. Harry was hesitant – it was the women's bathroom, after all – but Draco burst through the door regardless. For a few seconds the two young men merely stood there, wide-eyed and completely shell-shocked at the scene before them.
"Luna?" Harry finally gasped.
"Hermione?" said Draco, uncharacteristically gawping.

Hermione and Luna both turned their heads slowly towards their boyfriends, their faces flushed and their lips swollen from kissing. Luna was sitting on the edge of the sink with her light blue dress ridden up and her legs wrapped around the other girl's hips, Hermione's hand between her legs and the other buried in her straggly hair. Hermione was breathing heavily, her curly brown hair dishevelled, Luna's hand cupping her breast.

Draco suddenly smirked. "So this is what you girls have been doing. We were wondering what was keeping you."

The girls blushed even harder, Hermione slowly removing her hand from between Luna's legs and wiping her fingers on her dress. Luna slid off of the sink and straightened out her own dress, brushing her hair out of her face.

"No need to stop on our account," said Draco, his smirk getting wider.

Harry gave him a look before going back to stare at Hermione and his girlfriend.

"What...? I mean, why...?" he stammered.

"It just sort of... happened," said Hermione, timidly.

"This is absolutely no need to feel guilty, sweetheart," said Draco. "Personally I find this situation to be a massive turn on, even if it was just a one-off."

"Are you serious?" said Harry incredulously, looking at Draco as if he was insane. "We just caught our girlfriends going at it. Why are you not freaking out?"

Draco just shrugged. "Freaking out would be just a tad hypocritical, don't you think, Potter?"

The boys gave each other a meaningful look, right before Luna randomly piped up.

"This wasn't a one-off actually," she said airily. "Hermione and I have gotten together quite a few times."

"Luna!" Hermione shrieked.

Draco laughed. "Well this makes things so much simpler."

Harry and Hermione looked confused. Luna looked mildly curious.

"Ladies," he began. "Harry and I have been fooling around behind your back for a while now."

"Draco!"
"You two are fooling around?"
"Well, this explains an awful lot..."

The young Slytherin smirked at everyone's reactions, before walking over to Hermione and wrapping an arm around her waist. She tried and failed to shrug him off.

"You have a lot of explaining to do!" she said angrily.
"Have you forgotten what we just caught you two doing, sweetheart?" he said innocently.

She huffed and folded her arms, blushing slightly.

"It just happened," he continued. "Just like you girls did, I'm sure."

Harry was looking uncomfortably at the floor. Luna, much like Draco, didn't seem that phased at all.

"The reason why your little affair makes everything so simple," he said. "Is because we don't have to feel guilty anymore. We can all just be together."
"What do you mean 'we'?" said Hermione. "As in the four of us?"

"Exactly," said Draco with a satisfied smile.

Hermione laughed and shook her head. Harry stared at Draco in shock. Luna actually looked quite pleased by the idea.

"You're insane!" said Hermione. "Not to mention a complete and utter man-whore."
"Never heard you complaining before, sweetheart," said Draco with a smirk.

"I don't get it," said Harry, looking at Draco with a baffled expression. "So you want us to do what exactly? Swap partners? Be a big foursome?"

"Ooh, I like that foursome idea!" said Luna excitedly. "We should do that! That would be really fun!"

"Couldn't agree more," said Draco. "I suggest mine and Hermione's flat. Our bedroom is a lot more spacious."
"Wait, wait, wait," said Hermione, holding her hands up and looking from Draco to Luna and back again as if they'd gone completely mad. "This is actually happening? You're really being serious?"

"Yes!" Draco and Luna said in unison, matching grins on their faces.

She thought about it for a while, looking between her boyfriend and her lover, before her eyes finally rested on her best friend.

"I'm in if you're in, Harry," she said with a sigh of defeat.

Harry looked at his best friend, his girlfriend and his lover. He knew exactly what he wanted to do.

"So what time are we meeting at your flat, Draco?"

They stood outside Draco and Hermione's front door, hand in hand. Harry's stomach was clenching with nerves, while Luna couldn't be more excited and could hardly stand still. She knocked on the door before Harry could even reach for the doorbell.

"You're nervous, Harry," said Luna. "I can tell because you've been squeezing my hand quite tightly since we Disapparated. You've been kind of cutting off the circulation to my fingers actually, but I didn't want to say anything."

"Oh, sorry," said Harry, loosening his grip on her hand.

"Relax, love," she said, smiling at him serenely. "Everything is going to be wonderful, I just know it."

Draco answered the door with the usual smirk.

"So you managed to convince him to come then, Loony?" he said.

She just giggled and led Harry into the flat. As was to be expected of the home of a Malfoy, the flat was grand and decadent, with stylish and extravagant Christmas decorations everywhere, but there was also many homely, feminine touches that made it clear than Hermione lived there too. Hermione herself was perched stiffly on the black leather sofa, ankles crossed and fingers tangled together, looking worried and apprehensive. It was a stark contrast to her boyfriend, who was standing confidently with a huge, triumphant smile on his face and a bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand.

"Just a little something to calm our nerves," he said, conjuring up four shot glasses with his wand and pouring a generous amount of the amber liquid into each. "Well, to calm Harry and Hermione's nerves really. As you've probably noticed, Luna, these two seem a little more tightly wound than us."

They each picked up a drink. Luna raised her glass and toasted "To... to the wonderfully unexpected."

They each raised their glasses before downing their drinks, coughing slightly from the strong liquor hitting the back of their throats. Hermione signalled to Draco to fill her glass up again.

"I'm going to need all the courage I can get," she said. "I cannot believe you even talked me into this, Draco."

He sat down beside her, kissing her cheek and filling up her glass at the same time.

"Relax, sweetheart," he said, nuzzling her neck and making her smile in spite of herself.

"So, what's going to happen tonight?" asked Harry, sitting down on the opposite couch next to Luna.

"Well," said Draco, his arm snaking around Hermione's waist. "I was thinking we would have a few more drinks and... see where the night takes us."

So that's exactly what they did. The alcohol flowed and all inhibitions were lost. Hermione loosened up, and Harry wasn't feeling nearly as nervous any more. If anything, Draco and Luna were even more up for it than to begin with. They were all sitting cross-legged around the coffee table, tipsy and giggling.

"You look gorgeous tonight, Hermione," said Luna airily, not sounding nearly as intoxicated as she actually was.

Hermione laughed. "I'm sure that's just the Firewhiskey talking."

"Oh no," Luna insisted. "I'd be saying this even if I was sober. You look extremely fuckable right now."

Hermione laughed even harder, before Luna shuffled closer to her and kissed her passionately. Her hand slid up Hermione's dress as they both moaned into the kiss, so caught up in each other that they almost forgot that their boyfriends were watching them intently.

"I have an idea," said Draco, and the girls stopped kissing to turn and listen. "Why don't we move this over to the bedroom? And why don't you ladies give myself and Potter a bit of a show?"

Luna grinned, but it was Hermione that spoke up, her voice sounding surprisingly husky. "Only if you boys promise to give us a little show in return."

The boys looked at each other and smirked in unison.

"That seems fair," said Harry.

Hermione stood up, taking Luna with her, and led everyone to the bedroom. As they all walked, she unzipped the back of her dress and stepped out of it, not even bothering to pick it up like sober Hermione would have done. Draco and Harry sat down on the two armchairs that were opposite the king sized bed.

"Now, boys," said Hermione, standing in front of them with her hands on her hips in just her black, lacy underwear. "Luna and I plan on giving you a very erotic show, but that doesn't mean that you're allowed to touch yourselves. Or each other," she added before Draco could say anything. "So, just to make sure..."

She picked up her wand and waved it in the direction of the boys. Her silent charm meant that their wrists had been secured to the armrests of the chairs with invisible restraints. There was no way of them getting up or moving their arms.

Hermione put her wand down on the bedside table and walked over to Luna, lifting her dress over her head. Unlike her lover, Luna was only wearing a pair of white cotton knickers which had little pictures of unicorns on them. Such innocent underwear was cancelled out by the tattoo of a bronze eagle on her back and the fact that one of her small, pink nipples was pierced.

The girls began kissing again, completely ignoring their boyfriends, and moved onto the bed, Hermione on top of Luna as their tongues caressed and their hands roamed over each other's bodies. They lay lengthways on the bed so Draco and Harry could see everything from where they were sitting. Hermione kissed her way down Luna's body, stopping to suck on her nipples and pull on her nipple piercing, which made Luna moan particularly loudly, before she finally reached the waistband of her already moist knickers. She pulled them off and threw them aside, before kissing Luna's inner thighs until she was writhing in frustration. Finally, when Luna began to whimper desperately, Hermione lowered her head and licked her pussy, her tongue lapping at her juices and toying with her clit.

Harry and Draco were squirming in their seats as Luna cried out in pleasure. They were both more turned on than ever, their erections straining against their trousers, but Hermione's charm meant that they couldn't move their arms to relieve themselves, no matter how hard they tried. Harry's breathing was heavy as he watched his best friend pleasuring his girlfriend. He wanted nothing more than to unzip his jeans, realise his aching cock and touch himself, but the charm holding his wrists to the armchair was too strong. He looked over at Draco, expecting him to look just a tense, but he had his eyes fixed firmly on the two women in front of him and was smirking quite happily.

Hermione stopped just before Luna could reach her orgasm, much to the blonde Ravenclaw's disappointment. But she was soon moaning in pleasure again when Hermione removed her lacy underwear and scissored their legs so that their clits rubbed together. They both moved their hips faster and faster, revelling in the friction, until finally they both cried out, climaxing in unison.

Hermione collapsed on top of Luna, planting drowsy kisses on her lips, before she crawled over to her wand and undid the charm on their frustrated boyfriends. Once they could both move their arms, the first thing that Draco did was give the girls a round of applause.

"Bravo, ladies," he said. "Fantastically erotic show."

"Why thank you," said Luna happily, as Hermione lay against her chest and smiled.

"We should return the favour," he said, getting up off the chair. "I'm guessing you're up for that, Potter."

"Obviously," said Harry, standing up too. His erection was clearly visible, tenting his jeans.

Draco chuckled as the two naked girls got unsteadily off the bed and sat on the boys' vacant seats. Draco immediately took his wand and put the same charm Hermione had used earlier to secure the girls' wrists to the armrests, before putting his wand down on the bedside table.

"Is this really necessary?" Hermione asked, narrowing her eyes at her boyfriend.

Draco just shrugged with an innocent smile. "It seems only fair."

He turned away from her and gave Harry his full attention, and they quickly got to work undressing each other, kissing desperately. Once they were finally both nude they moved over to the bed, lying lengthways like the girls had done. Draco was on top and attacked Harry's mouth with his tongue, the both of them moaning into each other's mouths and grinding against each other. Draco pulled Harry's glasses off and threw them aside, although Harry didn't care where they'd landed once Draco began to kiss and bite his neck and that sweet spot just behind his ear. He bit his lip as Draco moved lower and lower down his body, nibbling on his nipples and leaving red marks all over his skin. Finally, after what felt like several years, Draco reached his cock and Harry let out a loud gasp when his lover gave his length a long, slow lick from base to tip, before swallowing him whole.

Hermione and Luna were breathing heavily where they sat as they watched Draco sucking Harry off. Luna was rubbing her legs together for some kind of friction, whimpering as she fought against her magical restrains and trying not to blink so she didn't miss a single second. Hermione, on the other hand, had taken Draco restraining her as some kind of personal challenge, and sat with her back straight and her legs crossed, not making a sound and never trying to move her arms. The only thing that gave away how turned on she felt was her steadily reddening face and her fingers gripping the armrests tightly.

Harry threw his head back against the bed, whispering profanities in Parseltongue without realising as Draco hummed around his shaft and sucked him harder. Luna's breathing became heavier – Harry only spoke Parseltongue when he was really turned on, and she loved it. Suddenly Draco moved so he was on top of Harry, his crotch in his face, and Harry instinctively grabbed Draco's leaking cock and began to lick and suck him too. Soon they had formed a kind of desperate rhythm as they thrust into each other's mouths, their moans getting louder, until finally they came down each other's throats with loud whimpers. They collapsed on top of each other, shuddering, and Draco turned over so he and Harry could share a lazy kiss.

"Wow," Luna said breathlessly. "That was... that was amazing... I... I would applaud, but... you know... I can't move my arms..."

"Oh, right..."

Draco crawled off of a panting Harry and grabbed his wand, flicking it in the direction of the girls to undo the charm. Once they were released Luna brushed her straggly hair out of her face and applauded the boys, but Hermione kept her arms exactly where they were.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Draco said to her, after bowing slightly to Luna. "Still annoyed that I restrained you?"

Hermione didn't say a word. She her face was red, her nipples were hard and she was glowing with sweat, but she still sat defiantly on the chair with her hands on the armrests and her legs crossed. Draco got off the bed and stood in front of her, naked and smirking.

"Come now, 'Mione," he purred, offering his hand. "You know I'm going to make it up to you."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile a little bit. Finally she took his hand and let him pull her to her feet and into his arms. She could feel his hardening cock, hot and wet against her thigh, and she looked over his shoulder briefly to see that Luna had left her seat and was feverishly kissing Harry on the bed.

"So what are you going to do to make it up to me?" Hermione asked.

Draco smirked and pulled her towards the bed, sitting down and bringing her with him so she was sitting on his lap. He ran his hands over her body, caressing her breasts.

"For you, sweetheart," he said, rubbing her nipples with his thumbs. "Anything."

Hermione thought about it as she watched Luna and Harry's heated kissing over Draco's shoulder. For once, she wasn't entirely sure what she wanted. All she knew was that she was so turned on that she could hardly stand it. Draco was still rubbing her nipples and massaging her breasts, turning her on even more as he waited for her answer.

"I want everything," she finally said. "I want all of us together. I want you and me to fuck Harry senseless while Luna sits on his face..."

"That sounds fantastic!" Luna cried, crawling off Harry and over to Hermione and Draco. "We should do that, that's such a good idea, Hermione!"

"I definitely like the sound of that," said Harry, whose entire body seemed to be blushing just from the thought of it. "The three of you all at once... not sure how I'm going to handle it."

"You might not live to tell the tale, Potter," Draco drawled. "You might end up being renamed The Boy Who Jizzed Himself To Death."

"What a way to go," said Harry as the girls laughed. "Out of every near-death experiences I've had, that one's got to be the most fun."

They all laughed rather tipsily as they moved to the middle of the bed. Harry laid on his back with the girls either side of him, Luna kissing him deeply while Hermione kissed her way down his neck and his chest. Draco grabbed his wand from the bedside table, muttering an incantation that made Harry gasp into Luna's mouth and arch his back in surprise – it always felt so odd when his arsehole was suddenly made all wet and stretched out and ready. The girls watched as Draco positioned himself between Harry's legs, pushing his cock into his opening slowly until he was balls-deep inside, both men groaning. Harry hissed at the intrusion, his walls clenching around Draco and his own cock leaking pre-come onto his stomach.

"Oh fuck, Draco," he moaned, as Luna kissed his neck. "I hate to say it because... ahh... it'll only make you... even more of... of an arrogant prick, but... holy shit, you're enormous."

Draco chuckled, stroking Harry's inner thigh, but it was Hermione who spoke.

"He is, isn't he?" she purred into his ear, running her hands over his chest. "So long and thick and magnificent."

Harry hummed in agreement before crying out as Draco started to move, thrusting in and out of his tight hole with increasing speed. The girls both watched with lustful smiles on their faces, before Hermione sat up and straddling Harry, leaning down to catch his lips in a hard, messy kiss. Draco stopped his thrusting and held onto his girlfriend's hips as she sat up and began to very slowly lower herself down onto Harry's cock until she was completely impaled. She turned and caught Draco's lips in a slow, sensual kiss, as Harry tried to get his head around just how amazing this all felt – having his cock buried in Hermione's tight, wet pussy, while he was filled to bursting with Draco's thick length was even more mind-blowing once Luna straddled his face.

Once they all began to move it took no time for the four to work out a kind of rhythm. Draco had one hand around Hermione's waist, reaching around to toy with her clit, and the other holding Harry's thigh, pounding into the tight hole hard and fast, and angling himself just right to hit his lover's prostate. Hermione was bouncing up and down on Harry's cock, her moans muffled as she was roughly kissed by her lover. Luna could barely breathe as she rode Harry's tongue, her moans and whimpers becoming even louder as Hermione's fingers starting rubbing her clit in quick circles. Harry bucked his hips in time with Draco and Hermione, using all his strength not to be the first to come, as he held onto Luna's thighs and fucked her with his tongue. The air was thick with sweat and sex, and the sound of moans and grunts and curses and the occasional slap – Hermione did love it when Draco spanked her.

The bed was banging so hard against the wall that things were falling off the bedside cabinets. Luna was the first to reach her orgasm, throwing her head back with a scream as she rode it out and drenching Harry's face in her come. She got off him and kissed him hard, licking her essence off of his lips and face. Draco and Hermione sped up their movements as they edged ever closer to their own climaxes, fucking Harry with everything they had. Draco couldn't hold on anymore and came hard into Harry's arse, his loud growl muffled as he latched his mouth to his girlfriend's neck. Hermione came only seconds later with a drawn out moan, her head thrown back against her boyfriend's shoulder as she rode out her orgasm on Harry's cock. The sensation of Hermione squeezing around his length and Draco coming inside him was all too much, and Harry was coming so hard he thought he was going to pass out, clinging onto the headboard with both hands as he cried out, his whole body shuddering as the intense pleasure coursed through him; he was surprised that his heart hadn't actually stopped.

They all collapsed on the bed in a sweaty pile of limps, completely exhausted but happier than ever.

"Oh my... oh my God," Harry said breathlessly, nestled between Luna and Hermione. "That was... that was..."

"Incredible!" Luna said blissfully, resting her head on her boyfriend's sweaty chest. "Even more wonderful than I imagined, and I imagined it a lot."

"We do make a rather outstanding foursome," Draco drawled casually, twisting his fingers around some of his girlfriend's curls.

"So no regrets then?" Harry asked.

"No way," Luna grinned. "Not even a little bit."

"I agree with Loony," said Draco, before he gave Hermione a squeeze. "No regrets, sweetheart?"

Hermione was silent for a while, thinking it all through in her mind. She knew she loved everybody in this bed. She couldn't have been happier. "No regrets."

Draco smiled and kissed the top of her head. The four of them lay in a drowsy, content silence, Luna and Hermione holding hands across Harry while he and Draco held hands across Hermione. Just as they were all about to fall asleep Luna serenely whispered "Merry Christmas, guys. This was a wonderfully unexpected gift."

Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.
Don't forget to review! If you feel like it, that is. I mean, no one's forcing you or anything, so...

xxx