Summary: On the morning before the battle of Anvard, Lucy says goodbye to a special person in her life. A one-shot companion piece to "Mothering."
Mummy
I creep into your bed like so many nights that I've done before. You let me in and hold me like you always do. You spend hours stroking my hair and singing me songs. But tonight I do not sleep, though I pretend to. I remain awake long after your breathing has evened and you have fallen into deep slumber. Hours before dawn, I pull away from your embrace and get up. Yet I could not help but spend a few minutes watching over you.
Mummy.
It is the word Edmund and I used to describe you. I don't know how the word came about. We're not sure if it is a word at all. No one in Narnia seems to use it. Yet somehow Edmund and I understood what it meant and used it often when we talk about you between ourselves. It's something to describe a person who cares for us, someone older than us, who loves us very much. It's a word of praise to the woman who tucks us in at night, who sings us to sleep, who kisses away our hurts and sends away our nightmares. But we also take it to mean something negative, like when you're being unreasonably protective.
We don't use it to describe Peter. I don't know why. Somehow the word just doesn't fit him. We have another name for him. Dad. Again, it's another word that Edmund and I probably made up though we can't seem to remember when and how we first used it. We don't call him that to his face. It just seems awkward. But you, I've murmured to you that name whenever you sleep next to me at night and I'm sure Ed calls you that too before he drifts off to sleep.
I push away strands of your hair away from your face. It's funny that it's now my turn to do this to you, when you've done this countless times for me. And after today, this won't be the last thing I will do for you.
The door softly creaks open and Edmund noiselessly peers through. I motion for him to come in.
"Are you ready?" he whispers.
"In a minute," I reply as I plant a kiss on your forehead.
Forgive me, Susan. I know how much you will worry when you wake up to find me gone with Edmund. You will be angry, I am sure. I expect your harsh scolding when I come home. If I come home.
But I don't want to think of it. I don't want to think that this is the last time I will see you. I would rather imagine that I will come back victorious from battle. A battle fought for your protection, for your honour. For as long as I live, I will never let any man touch you against your will and take you as his slave.
Edmund understands this. He isn't like Peter who holds me back and likes to keep me forever safe. Ever since the incident with the White Witch Ed has learned to trust me. That is why when I told him I wanted to fight his only response was: "We need to get you a light armour and an extra sheaf of arrows."
Edmund comes over to kneel next to me and kisses you the same way. He stares at you with the same affection I know I have in my eyes. He too knows he is risking your wrath when we come back. And he is sure to face double the punishment from Peter. But he realizes how important this is for me to fight for you. He knows that I have as much right to defend you as he.
Finally, he gets up and looks at me. "Come on Lu, it's time to go."
I nod and follow him to the door but we do not leave completely until we give one final glance at your sleeping form.
We proceed directly to the stables where my armour and weapons are ready with my horse. Edmund helps me put on my battle gear and we go together to the courtyard where the army has assembled. Edmund orders the troops to move out in silence. It is only when we have gone out the gates and beyond hearing of Cair Paravel's towers that he allows the battle horns to be blown signaling our departure to the Narnians who have come to see us off.
We turn to Anvard in the south, a fitting place for battle for the honour of the Queen of the Southern Sun. I know we come to aid a neighbour in peril. As Queen myself I gladly risk my life to help King Lune's country and his people. But it means more to me that I risk my life for you, Su.
My friend.
My sister.
My Mummy.
A/N: I'm having mega-writer's block on the "Forgotten Chronicles" but when I re-read my previous story "Mothering," this popped into my head so I wrote it down as a companion piece to it. I figured that if Peter and Susan had only vague traces of memory of their mother, Lucy and Edmund probably have no memories at all. I can imagine that Lucy and Edmund see Peter and Susan as their parents.
When I read HHB and Lucy was in the battle, I've always figured that Susan would have never let her younger sister go to battle just like that. I thought maybe Lucy might have gone on the sly with Edmund consenting to it. I figured Edmund would be more confident with allowing Lucy in battle. In Prince Caspian, Edmund does support Lucy and shows he has grown to trust her judgment.