OK so I have write this one shot as a tribute to my best friend. We have known each other for eleven years and almost three years ago we started dating and trust me when I say, I loved him more than anything. As much as we were dating, he will first and for most always be my best friend. He has been through everything with me and means the world to me. A few months ago he was diagnosed with stage three cancer so it is terminal and he doesn't have long left. His parents live in Australia and he had been living over in the UK with his auntie so he could stay close to his friends and me. Because of the cancer, he is forced to move back to Australia because he needs to be with his parents and I understand that, but it doesn't make it any easier for me. I wrote this in a kind of tribute for him because I do care a lot for him. I spent most of today crying and this was a really good way for me to get some of my emotions out. Thank you to my amazing friend who read this for me and gave me feedback because it means the world to me and so do you. I'm glad I have someone like you through this rough time.

I hope you all enjoy and please leave me a review.

Thank you all.x

….

JJ took a shaky breathe as she entered the hospital room, knowing it would be the last time she ever would. He had been in a coma for almost a year now, but one night when she was home, all alone, she got that phone call, that one dreadful phone call, that destroyed her life. She had broken who knows how want traffic laws to get to the hospital but by that time he was in a pretty bad position. The nurses had not allowed her in the room while the doctors worked on him, so she got the awful experience to stand in the window and watch. Watch as they worked on him to bring him back. Watch as they worked to bring his heart back to life. Watch as he took his last breath. They had allowed her the time alone to say goodbye a few days before, telling her it was unlikely for him to survive much longer, but he had. He had lasted almost a week which gave her hope. Hope that he would survive this. But then she got the phone call, that phone call that sent her world tumbling down. She now sat beside him, tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. Taking his cold hand in hers she prayed and hoped for that one little squeeze back. It never came.

"Hey Derek. I know- I know we had a talk a few days ago but I just needed one last goodbye. They wouldn't let me in the room, to hold you when you took your last breathe but baby I was here. I will always be here. I miss you, I miss you so bad. I won't forget you, I don't think I ever can. The day, the day you fell into that coma, the day the cancer just hit to close to home, was the day I found It won't be the same. There are so many things I wanted to do, so many things we had planned but never got to see out. We had planned to move out of that stupid apartment of your's, planned to buy a big house and move in, painting our bedroom half blue half purple so we were both happy, planned to start a big family and have a little girl and boy, training our boy to be a little fighter and always stick up for her little sister. All this stuff we had ready to do, ready to commit to, and then this happened. I didn't get to kiss you goodbye on the hand, I just wish that I could see you again, but I know that I can't. I don't know how to do this Derek, I don't know how to live without you. Every day I came here, I always had hope that you would wake up. That steady beeping off your heart kept me going but now, I don't even have that anymore. I know you won't wake up. Why won't you wake up, I just keep asking why? Why you, why me, why us? We have known each other for 11 years, 11 amazing years and 3 of those years I have had the privilege to be your girlfriend, I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. And I will never stop loving you. We made a promise, I know you remember it. Forever and always. I will love you forever and always. Now you're gone, I can't bring you back, I know you're not coming back. I just love you so much Derek, I always have, and I always will"

JJ hadn't noticed the team standing around her, tears streaming down all their faces as they stood over their dead friend. JJ sobbed into his chest, her heart shattering into a million pieces as every minute passed by, every minute that she knew he wasn't coming back, every minute that she knew he wouldn't wake up, every minute that she knew that she just couldn't take it. Penelope held onto the broken blonde as she continued to cry, her own tears mixing with the other blondes. She whispered soothing things into her ear as she rocked her backwards and forwards, not caring that the pair had ended up on the sterile hospital floor. JJ continued to cry, not knowing what else to do. She wanted to cry, scream, lash out. But who to? She couldn't do it to Derek, to her friends, to the doctors, to herself, because for once nobody was to blame. It wasn't Derek's fault he got cancer. It wasn't the doctors fault that it was stage three and terminal. It wasn't her friends fault he fell into a coma. It wasn't her fault that he died. It was nobody's fault. So all she could do, all she knew what to do, was to cry, and that's what she did. She cried for his mom, for his sisters, for Penelope, for Aaron, for Spence, for Dave, for Emily, for the doctors who had to be with him in his cast minute, for the nurses who did everything they could in the year he was here, for Derek's spirit she hoped would live on and watch over them all, for herself and for hope of a better day. A day she could get out of bed without crying her eyes out. A day she could speak of her beloved boyfriend send not feel a pain in her chest. A day she could miss him without wanting to die. A day that everyone could move on and pray that Derek was above them watching out for everything they did. On that once case that maybe they needed a lead and one drops out of nowhere, or they were on a raid and that one bullet missed one of them by a centimetre, or even when one of them is having a bad day and one ray of sunshine arrives to lighten the day, they could all hope it was Derek watching out for them. JJ lifted her teary eyes up to the sky and whispered her final goodbye.

"I miss you…"