Treehouse of Horror: the Untold Tellings
Notes: I'm not the best at executing a plot, I'm better at coming up with ideas. A more clever writer could have done more with these stories (well, story so far), although I don't think I did too horrendously.
Begin episode...
Cue Tales From The Crypt music
The Simpson residence has been re-done to look like a creepy, crazy old castle, and the intro mimics the intro to the show Tales From The Crypt, heading down into the basement where Marge Simpson springs up in a coffin and cackles. She is also a living corpse. She finally stops laughing and says, "HI! It's nice to see you all again! As you may know, it's the time of year for evil. Since the Simpsons always like to keep up with the trends, what you're about to see is also evil, and may have many unpleasant consequences such as causing your soul to be damned for eternity, just by watching it! So gather the family 'round, and I hope you enjoy this very special Simpsons Halloween special...
Eerie music begins, the title, "Treehouse of Horror: The Untold Tellings" appears, thunder and lightning strike and we pan over a very spooky looking Springfield, in traditional fashion.
More lightning, a huge crack of thunder. Sudden blackness. Then, eyes in the dark. Then, a candle.
Marge Simpson's face is shown in the candle's glow. Rain is heard coming down strong.
"Oh, Halloween night, of all the times for the power to go out." Marge says.
Marge continues lighting candles, illuminating the Simpsons family who are sitting in a spookily decorated living room. Through the window, we can see that it's pouring outside. More thunder is heard.
Bart kicks a platic pumpkin bucket across the room. He is sitting on the arm of a chair. Lisa sits beside him on the floor, looking depressed. Bart is dressed as a tenticled HR Lovecraft like thing, Lisa is dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Homer sets Maggie, who is dressed like Rod Serling – yes, Rod Serling – down on the couch.
Bart talks to Lisa. "I can't BELIEVE mom and dad won't let us go out trick or treating just because of a little stupid rain." says Bart. Both children look downtrodden.
Marge steps closer. "Bart, Lisa, I know you're dissapointed, but no one is out in this weather, and there are plenty of ways to have fun at home on Halloween!" says Marge. "Marge, bold faced lies won't make the kids feel better. Now, listen, I know Halloween comes just once a year and your childhood time is dwindling, but if you go out there you'll get struck by lightning and then drown like turkeys in the rain." says Homer. "Whatever you say." says Lisa.
"I was serious, there are ways to have fun at home on Halloween! Think of the Flanderses, they're staying home." says Marge. "That's cus they hate Halloween. They have some kinda vandetta against Lucifer." says Bart. "They're throwing a Fall Festival party. Rod and Tod are dressed up as corn, painting leaves on paper plates while Mr. Flanders reads bible stories about the damned." says Lisa.
"Oh. Well... good for them." says Marge. She picks up a pumpkin-shaped glass bowl of candy that had been set by the door for trick or treaters, and sets it in the middle of the room. "But I was thinking of something a little less disturbing. Like a history lesson!" says Marge. Everyone else groans, even Maggie. "Now, now, this town has a long, rich history. For instance, did you ever hear about that one time..." Marge's voice drifts into a fadeaway, we now see the story, starting with a shot of a blue summer sky.
The words, "It Was a Clown" appear, then fade from the screen.
From the sky we pan down to a shot of laundry hanging on a circular clothesline. Below the clothesline, Ralph Wiggim rides around and around on a quadcycle. He hits a rock and attempts to keep peddling, but the rock prevents him from moving. A shadow is cast over him. Ralph turns his head. "Hi! My bike is fast." says Ralph. The shadow grows larger, darker. "You're horrifying!" chirps Ralph, ever smiling. He stares up as the thing comes closer, and finally Ralph registers that something is wrong and starts screaming his head off. Cut to a shot of Cheif Wiggum stepping out the back door.
"Ralph? Hm, he's not here. Oh, no! I'll bet he was attacked and murdered by a demonic clown that feeds off the souls of children!" says Wiggum. He screams in misery. "Call the police!! Oh... crap!" Fade out.
Bart is laying in bed, looking ill. Maggie barges through the door, smiling at Bart and waving her arms up at him. "Maggie, I told you not to bug me while I'm faking being sick." says Bart. Maggie starts crying. "Oh, ok. Take this paper boat and go play in the gutter. But be really careful!" says Bart. Maggie grins, gives the thumbs-up, takes the boat and leaves.
The next thing we see is Maggie, in a little raincoat and rain hat, ever sucking her pacifier and playing with the boat in the rainwater near the sewer.
Shot of the dark sewer. Suddenly, Krusty the Clown's face appears in it, grinning madly. Maggie stops playing and stares at him. "Hey, Maggie! I know your daddy probably says don't talk to strangers, right?!" says Krusty. Maggie shakes her head no. "Oh. Well, then how'd you like to come live down here?! It's SO fun down here! There's – ahh!" – Krusty looks down briefly – "God, that was a big roach. Uh, I mean, everything floats down here! And how! Huhhuh! Oh, just come here so I can kill you." says Krusty. Dramatic music as Krusty reaches out from the sewer. Blackness.
Move on to the Simpsons family, all dressed in black, stand in the living room looking at a picture of Maggie. "Bart, your mother and I hate you now, so go to your room." says Homer. Bart hangs his head and goes to his room. "I can't believe this is happening. Whatever monster out there killed my sister Maggie, I'll get you, you bastard!" Bart miserably goes to his bed, where a book titled "Old Time Circus Fun" sits. "'Bout time I threw this away." says Bart. He picks the book up but, strangely, drops it and it flips open. The book has a picture in black and white on the right page, where Krusty is shown at a circus, about to get a pie in the face. Suddenly, the image starts moving. Krusty turns towards Bart and points, his teeth turn to fangs and he roars. Bart screams. Krusty laughs, then gets pied in the face.
Cut to shot of Lisa, who has braided pigtails, walking out of school. Millhouse walks up behind her and nervously hands her a note from behind his back. "Uh, Lisa, someone wants you to have this note." says Millhouse. "Huh? Oh, thanks Millhouse." says Lisa. She opens the note."Your hair is like a starfish whose beauty the sea could not contain. Your skin is like the yolk of the sunniest egg. I really like you. Signed, anonymous" reads Lisa. "Hmm, I know who must have sent this note." says Lisa. "You do? Who? And don't say Bart, 'cus he's your brother" says Millhouse. "That dreamy new boy with the mole and the stutter." says Lisa, looking over to a boy in the distance, who looks suspiciously like Johnathon Brandis in the movie It, and who smiles and waves. "Oooh." says Millhouse, dissapointed. "Come on, let's go meet the gang in the woods, Millhouse." says Lisa. They head off.
Slow close in on shot of Lisa, Millhouse, Nelson, Rod and Tod sitting on a log by a small creek and staring at the water. Millhouse takes out his asthma medicine and takes a pull on it, then shakes his head. Nelson is wearing a bowtie. Rod and Todd look exactly the same as normal. Bart comes crashing through the woods towards them. "Guys! Something... something insane happened last night! I was looking at some old book when I saw... I saw..." says Bart.
"Some clown come to life and behave in a manner characteristic of pure evil?" says Lisa. "How'd you know?" says Bart. "It's happened to us all, Bart! Something is very wrong here in Springfield! We all know it, and we've always known it, but we thought it was just our parents! Turns out it's also this demonic clown!" says Millhouse. "Oh, God. What are we gonna do?" says Bart. Nelson puts his arm around Bart. "Well, I'll tell ya what I'M gonna do! I'm gonna crack a joke, cus I'm Captain Funny!" Nelson says, grinning. After a moment, he continues, "Umm... cracking jokes is hard, but it's not as hard as cracking nuts! Good thing there's no nuts that gotta be cracked. I'll just stop talking now and go back to the log." says Nelson, who then does exactly that.
"Bart, what are we gonna do? It took Maggie!" says Lisa. "We're all in this together! We'll all fight it!" says Millhouse. "Yeah!" say Rod and Todd together. "Alright. We're a team then. We vow to stop IT, no matter what." says Bart, putting out his hand. They all place their hands over Bart's. "We vow", say the others. They look down and notice one white-gloved hand among theirs. They all scream.
"AAAHHH!! IT'S THE CLOWN, LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!!" yells Millhouse. They all run in different directions as the clown stands in the middle of the woods, belly laughing. Bart suddenly screeches to a halt. "Wait a minute, what the hell am I doing?" Bart shimmies up a tree and pulls out his slingshot. "Take this!" growls Bart, hurling a stone at Krusty's head. "Ouch!" says Krusty, then vanishes.
Cut to shot of Millhouse, running home. "Oh, please, clown, don't get me, please don't get me, please don't get meeeeeeee!" yells Millhouse. Millhosue gets inside his house and slams the door shut. "Oh, thank God. Home and safe at last! Guess I'll go take a shower to shake off the willies." says Millhouse. Millhouse smiles and walks into the shower. He turns on the water and grabs a pink bar of soap. He lathers up the soap. Millhouse suddenly hears a chuckle. He looks around. "Hel...lo?" says Millhouse. He shakes his head and goes back to lathering soap.
"Psst." says a voice. "Huh? What was that?" says Millhouse. "Down here. Down here, pansy!" says the voice. Millhouse looks down. A white glove is beckoning from the shower drain, where the grate has been removed. "I can't see anything without my glasses on. Who's down there?" says Millhouse. "Who do you think, reject?! It's me, the killer clown!" shouts Krusty. "AAAAAHHH!!" screams Millhouse. He slips on some soap and lands hard on his rear end, as he does so he slides forward and his foot rams into Krusty's hand, slamming it against the front of the tub. "OOOOOWWWW!!" screams Krusty. Millhouse clammers out of the tub as Krusty retracts his hand, swearing.
Meanwhile, Lisa sits on a chair at home. "I wish Bart would get home soon." she says, worried. Homer is laying on the couch, watching tv. "Lisa, I told you not to mention your brother. Or your sister. And while you're at it, don't mention your mother either." says Homer, lazily. Lisa gets up unhappily and goes into the bathroom. She braces the sink with her hands and stares at herself in the mirror. "Ok, Lis, think. We've got to think of a way to fight It. We must..."
"Huhahah." comes a voice from the drain.
Lisa's head snaps down ward.
"Do you really think you can stop me?? Huha!!" says the voice.
Blood comes spurting out of the drain, splattering everywhere. Lisa shrieks.
"You and your pals are gonna DIE, Lisa, just like the other kids! You'll die... if ya try... you'll die, if ya try... " as Krusty continues chanting, Lisa walks over and picks up a bottle of drain cleaner. She opens it and tips it over the drain.
"You'll lose... if ya choose... you'll shake... if ya bake...you'll –" Krusty's chanting turns to gurgling as the drain cleaner is poured down the drain. Krusty chokes and coughs loudly and the noise slowly fades down the drain. "DAAD!" yells Lisa. "Oh, what is it?" says Homer, immediately walking into the bathroom.
"LOOK!" says Lisa, pointing at all the blood. "What? And this better be better than the time you found that half Swamp-Thing, half Pinhead in the hall closet." says Homer. "Just look around!" says Lisa. Homer shrugs. "What's the problem?" says Homer. "You... you can't see the blood." Lisa says. "Lisa, of course I see the blood. I just pretend I don't, like with filthy dishes or vomit on the floor. Then your mother cleans it up. Now go to bed sweety." says Homer, and kisses Lisa on the head before leaving the bathroom.
At the same time, Rod and Todd are still in the woods, heading towards a swamp. "My bones are cold. I thought you said you knew the way out of these woods?" says Todd. "Oh, hush up! What have you done for us lately!" says Rod. "I wish Dad were here!" moans Todd. "Look, look at that swamp!" says Rod.
Out on the swamp, they see their father Ned, smiling and waving to them. "Over here, sons!" calls Ned. "Daddy can walk on water!" says Todd. "Hiddilyho, kidderinos! Wanna come join me for dinner on the swamp?! It's great out here! I made a pot of roast swamp slime for supper... you could call it, your 'last supper'!" Ned says. He giggles.Todd and Rod stare with wide eyes as their father's figure transforms into a swampy, green skeleton who waves at them again and continues to laugh, his laugh transforming into that of the clown. Todd and Rod scream and run away back into the woods. They stop to catch their breaths behind a tree. "Don't panic! Remember what daddy said before he turned into the freakish pile of bones! Now is the right time to turn to prayer!" says Rod. They both kneel down, close their eyes and begin praying. "Dear Lord, please protect us from the devil's creation..." they pray. As they continue praying, a white-gloved hand lands on Rod's shoulder. "HIDDIDILY DIE, KIDS!!" roars the clown. Todd and Rod scream. Todd, panicked, pulls out a small vial of holy water and throws it at the clown's face. "Aaahh! Glass shards!" Krusty says, flailing his arms blindly. Rod and Todd scamper away and very luckly stumble right out of the woods onto the road and towards town.
Shortly after that... Nelson is in the school basement, "I can't believe I left my list of lame jokes down here. Oh, it's gotta be around here somewhere... Hey, what was that sound?" says Nelson. "Hehuh...oh, screw it! I'm comin' to get you!" roars the clown, who, appearing as a werewolf, lunges from behind some junk and charges towards Nelson. Nelson screams, cornered, as the wolf leaps into the air towards him.
A silver bullet blasts down the beast before it can hit its mark and the wolf drops to the ground. Groundskeeper Willy steps out from the shadows, steely eyed and with a smoking gun. "No God-forsaken beast o' the night's gonna take down one of the purposeless punks in MY school." says Willy. Willy looks around. "Hey, where'd it go?" says Willy. "It has magic powers! It's the thing that killed those kids, first it was a clown, then it changed into a scary werewolf" says Nelson. "Werewolves aren't scary, ya homosexual, is this one of yer pathetic excuses for a joke ya obnoxious little twunt?!" says Willy. "No," says Nelson. "If what yer sayin' is true, if it really is a bloody clown, then you've got to kill it! I hate clowns!" says Willy. "But how, it seems to be invulnerable." says Nelson. "Use some bloody elbow grease! Nothin's invincible when you rip its heart out with yer bare hands!" shouts Willy. "Hmm, ok, I'll keep that in mind." says Nelson. "Grand! Now beat it, I've got other work to do!" says Willy. He puts down the gun and pulls out a stake, proceeds into the shadows and stabs a vampire who is hanging upside down against a wall. He then produces a torch and heads towards a nearby Frankenstien who is also lurking in the basement.
Next thing, Bart, Lisa, Nelson, Millhouse and Rod and Todd are all gathered outside a huge entrance to the sewer in the woods. Millhouse is wearing a towel around his waist which he holds behind his back. "Alright, gang, this is it. We've gotta face this thing. We've gotta take it down." Bart says. Everyone nods. "Millhouse, would it have been so hard to grab a pair of shorts before coming out to meet us?" asks Bart. "Hey, why don't YOU go inspect my shorts drawer?" says Millhouse. "Here, then, put on these jogging pants I found by the creek." says Bart."Eeew..." says Millhouse, but puts them on.
In the sewer. "Stick together." says Bart. Cautiously, they continue on further into the darkness. Time passes as the kids search and search through the sewers. "This is hopeless. We may as well go back up!" says Lisa. "She's right, we'll never find It." says Rod. "Hi, kids!" yells the clown, his head appearing in giant form on the wall. The kids gasp. "You aren't thinkin' of tryin' to KILL me, are you? Because you aren't gonna succeed! Nope, no way! So you might as well just turn around right now, because I'm not worried at all by you being down here and coming to kill me, because I'm totally, completely invincib—" before Krusty can continue, Lisa has grabbed Bart's slingshot and fired a rock into Krusty's eye. "OW! Blast you! I'll get you for tha–" says Krusty. Another rock hits Krusty's other eye."Yeeow! HuhuhuhuhHA!" shouts Krusty.
"Come on, let's get him!" shouts Bart. They all climb up and charge towards the image, throwing rocks at it. Nelson punches the image in the face. "HEY!!" shouts Krusty. Millhouse chucks his asthma sprayer at the clown and it dings Krusty on the head.
"Alright, alright, ya know what? It's time to reveal my true form! Get ready, brats! Because this is THE SCARIEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN!!" roars Krusty. The kids step back, light shoots out from Krusty, and he rapidly transforms into a gigantic spider. The kids stare at him.
"A SPIDER? That's all you got?" says Bart. "A clown was way scarier than that." says Lisa. "Let's get him!" says Todd. They all charge forward. "Hey, no, wait, I'm a big bad spider! Hold on, spiders are scary! Spiders are scar—aaahhh!!" screams Krusty, as the kids rip him to shreds. "Haha!" says Nelson.
The scene disintigrates and we go back to Marge, sitting in the dimly lit living room, everyone listening to the story. The rain outside has slowed down.
"That was 30 years ago today, and so far, the clown has stayed dead." says Marge.
"Wow." says Lisa. Maggie sucks her pacifier and snuggles close to her mother. "You don't buy that, do you Lisa? Nothin' that crazy ever happened in Springfield." says Bart. "Well, let's hope you never have a reason to believe it, Bart." says Marge. "God, I remember that summer...What a nightmare, oh, God, I think I blocked it out," says Homer, starting to sob. "It's all starting to rush back!" says Homer. Marge leans in to whisper in Homer's ear, "Homer, I just made all that up. There was no clown." she says. "Oh. Uh, heheh." says Homer, wiping at his eyes. "Of course, I realized that Marge. I – AAH!!" says Homer, as the tv turns on at the same time as the lights do, and Krusty the Clown's face appears.
"HUHUHUHHA! Welcome back to this special Halloween edition of Krusty the Clown! I'm sure you're thrilled to be watching it, unless you're out trick or treating instead of being a complete loser!" yells Krusty.
Bart clicks off the tv. "It's a repeat. So what else is there we don't know about Springfield." asks Bart. "Yeah, tell us more. And lets turn the lights off." says Lisa. Marge smiles. She switches the lights back off. "Ok. Now, I'm going to tell you all about the very strange time when..." says Marge. "Hold on a second, my little marshmellow cup. You're not the only one with a traumatising story up your sleeve. I happen to know a little 'secret history of Springfield' too." says Homer. "Ooh, ok. Go ahead, Homie." says Marge.
"It all started at the lake, one bright, scary summer day..." says Homer.
To be continued... ?