Ugh, things.

So, basically I have had this dialogue in my head ever since the show ended. This thing has been at least 6 months in the making because I spent so long procrastinating and just hating it, but eventually the sight of it in my 'unfinished' folder was making me hate everything.

So here you go. It's terrible. And questionably over dramatic. But hey, you'll just have to make do.

This is what I would have liked to have happened between Batgirl and Nightwing before the end of Young Justice. However, because Greg Weisman decided he hates good endings and because this is the internet behold : My own personal headcannon as to what went on between the Bat and the Bird.

Enjoy... or don't.

He knew it was never going to go well. I mean, he was admitting to at least four cases of betrayal of trust. How do you just spit that out? Sorry, turns out Artemis isn't dead, Kaldur never betrayed us, the cave was blown up for no reason and I knew about and initiated the entire thing?

Try finding that one on a card.

They were going to be pissed, that much was obvious. And to his credit, he knew that they had every right to be. But he will admit to thinking that seeing Artemis and Kaldur alive and well before their very eyes would soften the blow a little.

Needless to say, it probably did more bad than good.

"But I don't understand." Cassie (surprisingly) spoke first, her voice a mixture of confusion and betrayal. " I thought this was supposed to be a team."

Nightwing opened his mouth to speak, but Kaldur – with all the tranquility he could muster – cut him off. "Cassidy, we still are a team."

But the perky blonde wasn't convinced. She shook her head at the former leader, and made damn well sure to look him right in the eyes as she spoke "Before this team, I never had friends. Never had someone to tell secrets too, never had someone to play in the sandbox with. I sat by myself at lunch every day because who the hell wants to be friends with the superhuman freak? Then you guys came along and I finally felt like I had friends, real friends." She turned to look at the rest of the group. "But then, I realized we were more than just friends. We were teammates. I trusted you with my life, and – I like to think – that you trusted me with yours."

Even Kaldur was slightly taken aback. It was unusual for Wondergirl to talk so openly about her feelings, especially in front of all of them like that.

"And now it turns out, that you never trusted us in the first place?" her words were laced with guilty questioning "No. That isn't a team Kaldur." She turned to look at Nightwing, not even trying to hide how upset she was.

" I looked up to you, like a brother. We all did."

And he could see it. See that under all the anger, the hurt and the resentment, the only thing left in Cassie's eyes was disappointment.

Later, when he replayed that night, that argument, again and again in his mind he realized that that was the thing that sucked the most. That was what made his heart shatter. Not the fact that so many of them were angry, but that so many of them expected better. Of Kaldur, of Artemis, of him. They had expected better of him and he had let them down.

Wondergirl turned and walked briskly out the room. She would have said its because she didn't want to be anywhere near him right now. They would have said that it was because of the tears welling up in her eyes that they knew she didn't want anyone else to see.

The silence that fell in her wake would have been enough to deafen Superman. It was terrible and each passing second made it worse.

He took the silence as a chance to glance across the room at their expressions, monitoring them all; the relief that Artemis wasn't dead and that Kaldur hadn't betrayed them. The pure, blood boiling fury at their so-called 'leader' for lying to them. Finally the residual sadness as they realized that they had never been trusted, not even for a second.

But then he locked onto her eyes, her face, and he knew that that churning feeling in the pit of his stomach that came every time he knew he was about to hurt someone involuntarily? Yeah, that was about to get ten times worse.

Dick and Barbara had been friends since the ripe old age of nine. They had been crime fighting vigilante buddies since they were both twelve. They had also learnt to have conversations just by looking at each other ever since Bruce was scolding them one time about something and they got caught making faces at each other behind his back. They had been perfecting it for years.

She could read his expression even with the mask.

Batgirl lost count of the number of times Bruce had told them the importance of remaining neutral in emotional situations when the cowl was on. It was vital that they didn't let the enemy know what they were thinking. Because that meant showing weakness and showing weakness got you – or worse, someone else – hurt, or maybe worse.

It almost made her heart hurt, when she realized she was thinking of her oldest friend as the enemy.

"Babs..." he whispered, feeling like the rest of the room had fallen away. Her expression was closed off, professional. Like they were strangers. Like he had, in one single move, destroyed everything they had built over the years. The rest of the team, skirting in a wide circle around him in particular, had gone over to Artemis and Kaldur, laughing and celebrating their return. He received so many hurt looks, but compared to what Babs was giving him they were pinpricks in comparison to a gushing stab wound.

They were two islands of stillness in the room, neither moving a muscle. They stared, their eyes locked on the others through the mask and cowl, and it seemed like nothing had ever separated them more than those two pieces of fabric. Her anger was palpable through the air, although to anyone else it would seem as though she was calm, cool and collected, despite what she had just been told. Dick raised a hand in her direction, feeling truly desperate. Oh god, she had to understand. Her, out of everyone. She just had to. "I..."

As if the movement had broken a trance, Babs slapped his hand away and narrowed her eyes. The slap echoed around the room and the rest of the team quietened, turning to behold the Bats. Quite a few of them winced at the charged air between the lovers. "You said you'd never become Batman." she hissed in clipped tones. "That you didn't have it in you, to sacrifice everything for a mission. Congratulations, it looks like you do." Batgirl turned violently on her heel, her ginger hair swinging out behind her, and strode out of the cave.

"Recognised, Batgirl, B-16" The sound of the zeta-tube echoed around the dead silence of the cave.

No-one saw the tears welling in her emerald eyes under the cowl.

Dick stood deathly still, not even blinking, still looking at where Batgirl had god, he should've trusted her, he could've trusted her, he knew he should've trusted her, and he would've trusted her if not for the little voice that sounded suspiciously like Batman that held permanent residence in the back of his head. The one that said 'She'll only get hurt, she'll only stop you, you'll only lose her.' Well, looks like he'd lost her anyway.

The team all quietly backed out of the room, their celebrations forgotten. They were all still mad at their leader, and Nightwing needed a dressing down. But not now. Not after something so personal. So they left, too angry to comfort him, too good to kick a man while he was down. Only one person stayed.

Zatanna calmly walked over, her heels clicking purposefully over the stone floors, and placed a gentle hand under Dick's chin. She lifted his masked eyes to look up at her shining blue ones. She was hurt too, cut to the quick, but right now, she wasn't her own main concern. "Wing, you need to go after her. Right now. You need to get down on your knees, you need to absolutely beg for her forgiveness. I know Babs."

Dick looked up at her, completely desolate. "That won't work."

Zatanna smiled sadly in reply. "No, it won't. But it will mend a few bridges, and slowly, over time, she will forgive you. She loves you too much not to. Barbara's going to be mad enough to kill right now, she's going to scream and yell and most likely try to beat you up. This will hurt, you a lot more than her, but it will be worth it. Okay?"

Dick hauled himself to his feet, a flicker of hope showing in his expression. "Thanks Zee, you're the best." He enveloped her in a bone crushing hug and then sprinted off at top speed towards the zeta's, Zatanna sadly watched him go.

"Oh Barbara." she whispered. "You are one lucky girl."

"Recognised, Nightwing, B-01"

"Recognised, Nightwing, B-01" the automated voice rang out through the Batcave.

Dick did everything in his power to keep himself together. Because even though his knees were buckling and threatening to give way, and even though his heart had somehow managed to go from 0-60 in the time it took for him to get through the zeta tube to the Batcave, and even though he didn't think for a single second that he was going to leave the cave without at least one black eye and three broken limbs; he knew that in the end, he had brought this all upon himself.

The first thing he saw was her stood by the capsules that held the retired Robin suits, her back to him. The suits stood in a line, bright and bold, and a reminder of what he was, what he used to be. There's his, and Tim's. But she was stood by the one that they don't talk about any more. The suit of boy who flew too close to the sun. He was their Icarus. And Dick will never forget the look on Bruce's face when he came back to the cave that night, and they realised that Icarus' wings were never to be worn again.

What he didn't realise, is that she wouldn't forget it either.

Before he even had the chance to grovel on his knees; Babs spoke - her voice three parts control, and one part murder.

"When I was eight, and my Dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas, the first thing I answered with was a sister."Her fiery hair swung around her shoulders when she turned to look at him, and her eyes had this look he had only seen once, when he told her he was Robin. It was a look of pure betrayal.

" Seven years later, I got one. Artemis told me everything, Dick. She told me when she first thought she liked Wally. She told me when she was having doubts about leaving the team with him. She told me when she came back how happy she was that we could be teammates again. And then she died Dick. Another friend, another family member dead. It was like losing him all over again." she gestured to the case with his dead brother's mask inside. Her jade colored orbs became glassy, and he swore he saw tears forming.

"Babs, please, let me explain-"

"Don't say 'explain' when you mean justify."

His jaw settled in a hard line and he shifted his feet shoulder width apart to avoid falling over. The lack of control over his own body surprised him, and he didn't like being surprised. Maybe it was Bruce's training, his constant untrustworthy nature, but he hated being unprepared for things. It made him nervous and edgy and (as he was quickly learning) made him let go of his ability to stop his knees from shaking uncontrollably.

Stop. Shaking.

"And you know what stings the most, Dick? Because it's not Artemis dying, or Kaldur leaving us, or even the cave being destroyed. It's the fact that you broke our oath."

His eyes - which had strayed to anything other than her face - locked onto her's at the mention of the promise they had made not that long ago. The one they promised to uphold no matter what the circumstances, because they knew what it meant. And it surprised him (funny how much that was happening) that he had forgotten. In all the chaos and confusion of old friends being resurrected, he had forgotten their promise.

Add that to the list of things Dick Grayson will regret for the rest of his life.

" After we lost Robin, when Bruce was on the edge for God knows how many months we promised, we swore : Always put people's lives before the sake of a given mission. Because we saw what Batman became, and we saw how close he got. He almost started killing people, Nightwing . And not just villians, but Leaguers too. Anyone he could put in the line of fire, he did. Including himself. And we swore, never to go that far. To never hurt the people around us like that again." Viridescent eyes narrowed at him and her hands clenched into fists by her sides - she swears to anyone listening that it took all of her willpower to not reach out and hurt him in some small way, to reciprocate the same pain he threw in her face back at him.

"Could you have done it? Could you have told Barry that the grandson he hasn't had for more than a month was gone!" She's shouting at him now. Even though it's unprofessional and Alfred can probably hear them and Bruce will definitely see it on the surveillance footage, she just doesn't care anymore. She has to scream at him. Hurt him, in someway. The same way he hurt her.

" Could you have told M'gann that the only other person she ever fell in love with was never coming back?!" Hot tears pricked at her eyes as she composed herself to the best of her ability.

"Could you have told nine year old Milagro that big brother Jamie was never coming home? Or did you just not care who lived and died anymore?"

Dick's eyes widened beneath his mask.

"Babs, I'm sorry, please; you have to believe that I mean that. I do Babs. I swear to God I do." He ran a hand through his raven black hair, exasperation bursting in his voice. "But I did what I had to do. You all had to believe that Artemis was dead and that Kaldur betrayed us - "

Babs snapped.

"But that's what you don't get. After all this you still don't understand why the team can't and won't forgive you for this, do you?" She paused, taking the time to drink in his anxious expression. His face was all hard lines and edges, and she wondered why she ever trusted him in the first place.

" What makes you think that anyone will ever learn to trust you again? You told them that their best friends, their team mates, were either dead, captured or traitors. I mean who's to say that you haven't lied about everything else? Who else are you waiting to resurrect Nightwing?" Batgirl strode towards him as her voice got louder and louder, wanting the words to have some sort of effect on him; willing them to hurt him. By now she was screaming, and lots all hope of remaining calm and collected.

"What are you going to tell us next? That Tula is still alive? THAT JASON IS STILL ALIVE?"

It's as if something snaps in the air, and she only then realises that their faces are merely inches apart. Slowly, she backed away from him, eyes wide at her own outburst. Honest to God, she hadn't meant to let that slip out. All she wanted was to hurt him, to dig into him in some way that would show him how much he hurt her. But now she wondered if she went too far, wondered if she said too much.

Nightwing felt his body freeze at the mention of his younger brother. His muscles clenched and his nerve endings lit on fire. The tears were stabbing at his eyes now, and honestly he thinks he may just let them fall. He felt his stomach hollow and his throat clog up with what feels like enough sand to fill the Sahara. Any words he had, anything to make her see that he only did what he had to have withered to nothing in the face of her outburst.

And it only really hit him then. The truth that he had known since he saw her face at the Watchtower. Babs wasn't going to forgive him. Not now, at least. And if he is being honest with himself, he felt it all along. Ebbing at his skin like a terrible rash, threatening to pierce through him. It hurt. More than he thought it would, and it was all because of losing her.

In spite of it all, he managed to pull himself together, and try to utter out something, anything, that will make her see sense. " Look, I don't deserve your forgiveness -"

But Barbara Gordon was done listening to anything Nightwing had to say for a long, long time.

"No, Dick, you don't." Her lip shut into a hard line and she took off her cowl, running a hand through her hair. " I quit." Batgirl threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. " I quit your ridiculous excuse for a team. I quit your incessant need to play Batman." She snapped her head up to look him dead in the eye - "I quit being some kind of pawn in your games and constantly being lied to by people who have the audacity to tell me they love me." Her eyes were soft, upset by this point. Not angry, or vengeful. Just purely dismayed.

God, it was like a glass shard through his heart.

She walked past him, over to the zeta tubes, and he just kept his gaze fixed on the spot where she had stood; where he had felt his heart burst through his ribcage for what seemed like the fifth time that night. Behind him, he heard the zeta tube hum as it warmed up, but only turned to look when he heard the automated voice ring out.

"Recognised, Batgirl, B-16".

Well, there you go. Awful I know, but if you did (weirdly) like it, feel free to leave a review and some constructive criticism if your eyes bled and you never wish to see such horrific writing ever again.

Thank you for reading!

Also a giant thank you to sass - mistress- lucifer for her help on this one, you can go check out her stuff here (and you should, it's all excellent)

u/4807504/sass-mistress-lucifer

Robin :)