I hardly ever write in first person, but I came up with this idea and it sort of needs to be written in first person, so here it is...hope it's good.

Kate died because of me. She took one bullet for me...then the second. Sometimes I can still see her sitting at her desk, or standing in front of mine. Grinning as she usually did, happy and bubbly as though nothing was out of the normal.

But it is, she's dead. Katelyn Todd is dead. I saw her die; I have seen so many people die, and yet Kate's death feels so different...

I think I know why, I've been denying it for so long. I'm so arrogant, there was something there, I just never said anything, never did anything and I hate myself for doing so. I loved Kate and I never told her, never...

Did she love me? Did she feel the same and tried to ignore it like I did? I've seen the sketches she drew of me...beautifully drawn and I know she took ages to pencil it. Her hands were always so delicate; I guess that's what makes her a brilliant artist.

There was always the glances, the stares and looking intently...she knew, she knew the moment I met her on that god damn government plane how I felt, she just took no notice of it, dismissed it idly prehaps...maybe she thought it wasn't possible that I was in love with her...still love her.

She was vivacious and spirited, incredibly intelligent and amazingly talented. She was so different from my ex's...dark haired for one example, and her eyes...so beautiful, so dark. My heart aches not to see her, if I did...if I could, I'd kiss her. I'd hold her close and never let her go. I'd whisper my unsaid love in her ear, my hands cupping her face and looking deep into her eyes like I've never done before.

I don't care about anything anymore...Kate's dead...my Kate. My friend, my agent...my love. This pain inside me is so painful; I can see DiNozzo looking at me, concerned. I don't care...I don't care.

'You alright DiNozzo?' I choke back my own tears, it's then I see tears welling up in his own.

'Sure...' he trails off and sits behind his desk, his thoughts obviously on a long lost memory of Kate...I can see her, she's shouting furiously about why she took two bullets instead of one. She points to the gunshot wound in the middle of her forehead and yells, 'Why Gibbs? Why me?'

'I don't know Kate...I don't know...' I whisper, and all of a sudden she's gone. She sits behind her desk, a scowl visible on her face and atacks the keyboard with vehermence...but the keys don't move. She looks up at me through a tear strained face.

'I'm dead Gibbs...oh my god...I'm dead!' she breaks down in tears and slowly fades into nothing. Kate is gone.

All I can feel are the tears rolling down my own cheeks.

Kate is gone...

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GPR