An evil genius sits in his dimly lit lair contemplating his latest scheme. Sitting in his wheelie-chair, slowing spinning, he runs his hands through his curly, dark hair. He stops the chair as he faces a computer screen and raises his hands high above the keyboard. He clicks his knuckles and swiftly drops his hands to the keyboard. He types furiously. The keyboard clacks and sweat drips from his furrowed brow. He suddenly stops. His hands quickly rise above his head and form into pointed fingers. In a booming tone he exclaims;
"Nailed it!"
Meanwhile, in the depths of a suburb in California, people go about their normal day in a normal supermarket buying normal things. But not for long as the unsuspecting group are caught in the genius' evil trap. Unbeknownst to them, the genius' toxin was wafting its way into their bodies.
A young man is buying food. Something he often did considering it was a supermarket. While deciding what flavour mayonnaise to get, a woman walked past him. She gracefully walked to the nearby sausage counter. What was the point if the condiment, bread, and meat counters were not nearby each other? What if patrons to the supermarket wanted a sandwich?
The young man watched the woman walk past while he picked up his desired mayonnaise flavour, mayonnaise flavour. The woman picked up her desired sausage as she notices the young man is staring, slack-jawed at her.
Both the man and the woman stare at each other. All of a sudden, a felling ripples through them. A warm, pulsing feeling. The woman tries to fan herself unknowing that she is still holding the sausage. She bites her lip. The man suddenly tenses up, squeezing the mayonnaise flavoured mayonnaise bottle that explodes in a flurry of condiment sauce. They drop their shopping and run at each other. They collide and commence doing a non-PG rated action that I am not a liberty to divulge. This is a PG story after all.
Now here begins the story of a special man on a quest to save the world from this demented mind. A man surrounded in secrecy. A man whose power and strength is unbound by normal logic.
That man is…
Hang on…
What?
No, it is for…
But why?
Ohh, from…
Really? I thought she was…
Ahh, but that means…
That must be itchy and sore. So he can't…
So who the hell is going to be in the story?
It can't while him while he has that thing!
Who?
Won't he just kill me?
Fine. He'll do. Just let me get into my stab-proof truss before we go on.
One moment please reader. I must insure my safety as writer of this fiction.
Now I safely protected I can declare this story open! This is the story of;
Brian,
Ninja Brian.