"Max At A Drive Thru"
Rated T for some language
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch, and Tom McGillis. Anyway, here's a little Max one-shot both of you will enjoy. It may feel a little wrong, but I feel right doing this fic. Enjoy!
It was a fantastic Saturday afternoon as Max, the evil teenage scientist, decided to get something to eat after a long day's work of planning to take over the world someday. After all, evil men like Max needed little grub now and then. And what better place to get the best grub than at Taco Bell, Max's favorite place.
"Ahhh, Taco Bell..." Max sighed, "Soon, I'll have the whole entire chain along with the whole entire world! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Meanwhile, as Max pulled up to the drive-thru area, he drove up to the speaker where the drive-thru worker's came out.
"Hello, welcome to Taco Bell, may I help you?"
"Yes, you little weakling!" Max exclaimed, "I shall order you to make me two chalupas, cinnamon sticks and a large Mountain Dew Baja Blast, pronto. If it doesn't get here immediately, I shall blow this place up with one of my home-made lasers!"
Suddenly, static filled the speaker. Apparently, the employee couldn't hear very well.
"I'm sorry, we had a technical difficulty there. What did you want again?"
"Oh, geez..." Max said, rolling his eyes as he spoke into the speaker, "I said, I command you to make me two chalupas, cinnamon sticks and a large Mountain Dew Baja Blast or prepare to feel my wrath against my 1000-megaton laser! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Sir, there's no need for death threats here. Okay, so that's two chalupas, cinnamon sticks, and a large Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Anything else?"
"Hmmmm," Max thought to himself, "My dog could use something to eat as well..."
After much thinking, Max approached the speaker yet again.
"I also command you to make me a taco or die!" Max declared.
Unfortunately for him, the static went through the speaker again.
"Um, sorry we're suffering a little bit of technical problems. What was it that you wanted again?"
"I said, make me a taco or die!" Max shouted on the speaker.
"Sir, please don't make any death threats at me or I'm calling the police. So is that gonna be all?"
"I've said my words, now make my food, you vile fool!" Max said, threatening the employee.
Suddenly, the Taco Bell employee didn't sit very well with his attitude. He was upset.
"Sir, I would appreciate it if you didn't call me names as well. That'll be $12.13."
With patience setting in, Max drove up to the first window where the cashier and drive thru speaker resided.
"$12.13, sir." The employee replied.
"Yeah yeah yeah, I got it." Max snarled as he handed him the cash.
In exchange, he was given $7.87 in change.
"Thank you not so much!" Max spoke to the cashier's face before driving off to the second window.
When he got there, another employee approached him. This time, it was a female.
"Hi, and welcome to Taco Bell!" The employee said.
"I know that!" Max scoffed, "Give me my food or feel the wrath of my laser, you cowardly bovine!"
"Excuse me?!" The female employee gasped, as she felt offended by that comment.
"It means cow." Max corrected her, "Now bring me my food!"
"Pardon me, but I'm proud to be a full-figured woman!" The employee snapped at him, "That doesn't give you the right to call me a cow!"
Suddenly, Max looked all around her and realized something was missing from her statement. In his eyes, she didn't look too fat to him.
"But you're not fat." Max replied.
"No, but my butt is!"
And then, all of a sudden, the female employee turned around and showed Max her enormous butt, which stretched out between the drink fountain and the ice cream machine in about 7 inches! Seeing this, Max's eyes went blind as they were slowly burning off!
"Auggggh!" Max cried out, "Such unholy evil! Blinding right through my eyes!"
"That's right! What you see is what you get!" The female employee shouted to his face again.
After much needed eye burning, Max decided to give in.
"Okay, I get it now!" Max nodded, "Can you just give me my food so I can get the hell out of here!?"
"Since you asked, you little midget..." She muttered.
With Max's eyes full of fright, the employee gave the evil genius his food and drink. Unfortunately, he was still immobilized by the sight of her wide rear end to drive off.
"Enjoy your food, ant!" The employee shouted angrily as she shut the window.
As Max started rubbing his eyes, he saw in clear vision once again. Knowing that the woman with the big ginormous butt was gone, it was safe for Max to drive out of Taco Bell with some food in his hand.
"It's about time I had enough of that place." Max muttered.
While he was driving, Max's hand reached out to a gordita that was in the bag. He wrapped the paper off to reveal a perfect Gordita in his eyes. The tasty meat, the succulent shredded cheese, the silky sour cream and tasty tomatoes and lettuce, all wrapped up in tasty pita bread.
"Gordita, prepare to feel my tasty evilish wrath!" Max said to the gordita as he was about to bite into it.
But before Max could do such thing...
...
...
...he was cut off by a police siren.
Suddenly, Max's car stopped, which forced the rest of the ingredients to fall on top of his lap. Luckily the meat managed to stay on the gordita. Apparently, that sound annoyed him.
"Who dares interfere my evil taco-eating?" Max said suspensefully, "I demand an explanation!"
As Max growled in anger, a police officer got out of his car and approached him.
"Sir, do you realize how fast you were going?" The officer told him.
"I was following the speed limit!" Max told him clearly.
"Seems to me that you were eating a taco." The cop said.
"Taco?" Max raised an eyebrow, "This is a gordita! You can tell why because of the toasty pita bread!"
"I could care less if you were eating your mama out." The cop smirked, "Anyway, it's a law here in this state and it's illegal to eat and drive at the same time."
"When in the hell was that a law?" Max replied, "You can smoke weed and drive, yet you can't eat and drive at the same time?
Meanwhile, the cop managed to reach for his walkie talkie, and spoke into it.
"Yes, this is Officer McDonald here." The cop spoke out, "I've got a small purple-haired boy here who's resisting arrest and because he's Asian. I need help dealing with him."
"Resisting arrest?" Max gasped, "I haven't done anything bad yet. Well, only when I take over the world!"
"You trying to talk shit to my momma, boy?" The officer threatened him.
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Max cried out, "Besides, I wasn't doing anything to your momma! I just wanna eat my food!"
"Well, get ready to eat my nightstick through your mouth punk!" The cop shouted.
Suddenly, the cop pulled Max out of his car, and started beating the holy hell out of him with his nightstick, just because Max was Asian and that he looked small in comparison. Apparently, the cop didn't give a shit as he was still beating the evil genius down.
"But... I... wasn't... doing... anything... evil!" Max spoke between hits, "I... just... want... a... taco! Why... isn't... this... making... sense!?"
Nobody and no one was coming to Max's aid. And fortunately, Max was better off getting his ass handled by the law. If only Max had never went to Taco Bell in the first place, or any other restaurant for that matter, than it wouldn't happen to him.
Unfortunately, it happened anyway.
Still, I'm not sure if it was my best featuring Max, but I could totally see that happening to him, concerning he always gets hurt on Total Drama: Pahkitew Island so far. So, what did everyone think about this interesting one-shot? Feedbacks are welcome! ;D