This is something that has no real significance to the story, but I thought I would post it as kind of a prologue to the story. Slightly morbid, and profane language, but it's pretty much the events leading up to the first chapter. This is in Kristina's POV, her thoughts before it picks up with Adrien.
Forewarning, there is emo-ness and self mutilation in here, so if you don't like it, skip ahead to the next chapter.
No need for a disclaimer, but I own Kristina and all her emo confusion...Meyer owns Twilight.
Enjoy! I guess...
----
I need someone. Anyone.
The light summer trickle that had started just after 11 started to pour harder. I could still hear the annoying sitcom on the TV that Mama left on before she left. God only knows where she went this time. She wouldn't even care. She wouldn't care about me being alone for a week. She wouldn't care about the tears starting to build; the flesh on my forearms stinging like a bitch. She wouldn't care about the razor in my hand. She wouldn't care about the blood gradually dripping from the newly made cuts.
But how could Mama care? She didn't know; she'd never know. She would most definitely freak and throw me under someone else's care where they all wore white treated you like a five-year-old. God, I could only imagine it... "You have to use plastic forks, Kristina. Sharp objects are what got you here in the first place." Like hell was I ever going to risk that.
I was so stupid... You always hear and read about it- of kids using self mutilation to "ease their pain." Ask me a month ago, I would've said it was bullshit. But now...fuck. I didn't even have a good reason. I was just randomly depressed. About a lot of things. About the future, where life would lead me. Yeah, school's over and I have my whole life ahead of me...riiiiight.
I was scared though. But of what? I didn't even know. I was just making up excuses. Bullshit excuses for cutting myself. "I'm depressed." "I'm scared." Bullshit.
But it's too late now. There I was, crying and dragging the razor across my wrist even deeper. Not for some fake, unknown reason, but as a punishment for being such an idiot. For having a rather good life, yet thinking it was worthless. This cut was because I deserved it.
But it was still senseless. I wanted to just lie here and watch the blood drip, drip, drip. Yet the more rational side of me forced my body to get up, stumble to the bathroom, grab a towel, and apply pressure in order to stop the bleeding. Eventually it ceased and I let out a sigh. I glanced at my arm. 1, 2, 3...11 cuts on my left forearm. A few of them were faded from previous times. I traced one that was the deepest. That one was a test, to see how far I could go. I had numbly pressed the blade deeper and deeper until I couldn't take it anymore. It didn't stop bleeding for ten minutes.
I turned back to my room, not bothering to glance at the mirror. I had no desire to see the pathetic wimp that would be staring back. She would have a pale face, deep red hair that hung like a curtain of curls and waves, and vacant hazel eyes. It would be a person that the real me would never associate with. A person that that was weak, miserable, and pitiful.
Yet I was "beautiful." At least according to Adrien. I didn't deserve him, not the way I was now. He was an example for everyone in the world of what a man should be. Sweet, generous, passionate, adoring, jaw-dropping-makes-you-melt-sexy...the list would never end. And not once did he ever treat me wrong. Sure we fought, but I could never stay mad at him. Adrien was everything.
So I stood there- head against the wall, cursing at myself, and wishing desperately that I wasn't alone. But who could I go to? Mama wasn't there, and friends weren't serious enough to help...
I grabbed my hoodie and plunged into the rain that was freezing even for June. I walked considering it was only a block. Hazy street lamps guided my way along the familiar route. When I saw that blue Porsche, I prayed so many times, some God had to know I existed.
Standing on the porch and ringing the doorbell was an out of body experience. But when Adrien opened the door, it was the real me that had to hold the weakling inside together.
Don't breakdown, don't breakdown...
"Kristina, what are you doing here?" He asked, shocked. "You do realize that it's after midnight."
I couldn't form words. I had millions to say, but they wouldn't come out.
After a moment, Adrien sighed. "You're soaked, come on." He took my hand and lead me inside.
I managed to keep it together up the stairs and down the hall, but when he closed his bedroom door, I couldn't stand it. His hand in mine was so right, but it felt so wrong. I felt one tear fall, then another, and soon I broke. I immediately felt his arms around e, and tat only made things worse.
"Kristina, what's wrong?" Adrien whispered in my ear, holding me tighter.
When I answered with a sob and wrapping my arms around him, he continued, "Kristina, you know you can tell me anything. I mean it." Then softer. "You know I love you."
I reluctantly leaned away.
"This." I barely choked out, pulling up my sleeve.
Fin
----
So that was my little explanation of why Kristina is there. I know, very emo. I don't really care if anybody likes this or not, I just put it up for myself. But go on to the rest, it gets way better. And I promise that I'll have more up soon.
Always review!
Lilli