Hello everyone, just a quick preface before the show begins. My name is Chad and for a while now, myself and my friend Ted have been hard at work writing 'Batman Vs. Shadow', a series of original short stories that chronicles an ongoing feud between Bat & Hog. The reason we decided to write these short stories mainly comes down to the fact that we hold a large amount of adoration for both characters and have yet to see their respective series' do them justice - and that's why we've stepped in. So, without further adieu, let the epic saga begin. This is...

Batman Vs. Shadow: The Dark Night

Written by Chad Quick & Ted Nolan

The night sky over Gotham was dark - sinister in nature, acting as a veil for endless unknown dangers. A light rain was showering the streets, causing small ripples in mirror-like puddles. One puddle, however, was about to experience a ripple unlike anything it had known before...

VROOM! The two tyres of a slick Harley speed through it, dividing and splashing the water. The rider? A hedgehog, head-to-toe in black and red, large gloves gripping the handlebars tight. He looks back, The Joker isn't far behind, though his Harley is clearly slower - or is he holding back? In the darkness, Shadow can just make out what appears to be Batman stood on the back of the bike, holding on to the deluded clown's shoulders.

"Will this guy ever give up?" Shadow scoffs. Just then, he hears the green-haired man behind him yell.

"HEY, SHADOW! YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHING INTERESTING?!" He shouts at the top of his lungs. Of course he does.

"Hit me." The cool hog replies, though his soft and whisper-like tone when mixed with the sound of the Harleys' roars and the distance between them renders him almost mute. The Joker assumes he consented, though his maniacal nature means he would tell him regardless.

"THAT HARLEY YOU'RE RIDING... THAT'S A '96 RIGHT?" Shadow looks back at him and is impressed - he didn't know anybody else with a knowledge as vast as his. He replies.

"You know your stuff." Again, The Joker does not hear him, though he is confident enough in his knowledge of bikes to continue this line of conversation. Just then, his bike erupts into a wheelie, with flames shooting out of the back - the mysterious psychopath has used a turbo boost, bringing him level to the ambivalent hedgehog. As Shadow looks into his eyes, he sees an evil the likes of which he has never seen before - even Eggman would be scared.

Just as he looks into his eyes, a smile spreads across The Joker's face - "That Harley you're riding... you know that was manufactured and constructed by underpaid and undereducated children, don't you?" The ever-ambivalent hedgehog knows he is most likely playing a nasty trick on him, but he can't risk being an advocate for such unethical practice - he leaps off, leaving him right where Batman wants him: on his feet. The Caped Crusader leaps from his old nemesis' Harley and triple backflips to stand face-to-face with his new nemesis.

Of course, unbeknownst to Batman, Shadow is in posession of the seven Chaos Emeralds, so he uses them as quick as a flash and, in a flurry of dazzle and wonder, comes out shining in gold and silver. With this, he yells "play time is over!" and flies into the air.

Now Shadow is faster than ever and has taken to the skies, meaning Batman has no choice but to call on the Man of Steel - that's right, now Superman is here, and they face off, both staring at one another and Superman looks him up and down and thinks 'if we weren't fighting, maybe things could have been different between us' - he has clearly confused ambivalence with bisexuality but that's not to say Shadow would say no, we don't know that.

Meanwhile, Batman diverts his attention back to the ground and sees that The Joker is about to make off with Shadow's bike - Batman runs after him, shouting "THAT'S NOT YOURS!" and tackles him to the ground.

What ensues is an aerial and ground dual battle, the likes of which Mobius and Gotham combined have never seen.

Quickly, and with grace, Batman apprehends the Joker and takes him to Arkham Asylum where he is thrown into a cell with Harley Quinn who quips something like:

"Only one Harley for my Puddin'." Batman smirks and walks back to the Batmobile. This takes roughly 45-60 minutes.

Meanwhile Shadow is tearing into Superman because as we all know one of the Chaos Emeralds is made of pure Kryptonite which deems Superman weaker than a normal person would be after a pep talk or a protein shake. Superman cries out in a last attempt...

"Join the Justice League, Shadow! As an ally you could help protect earth and its people! I am not your enemy!"

"Everyone is my enemy. Sometimes" Shadow grunts, and with this he prepares the final blow, though just as he raises his fist the Chaos Emeralds fade to grey. Their power is drained. Shadow falls to the ocean but Superman is too shaken to react and just looks on in horror.

Splash! Shadow plunges into the sea. It's cold but Shadow's heart is colder so it keeps him a bit warm. Warm enough. Then Shadow spots a figure in the distance. Is it Aquaman? No, it's Bats in full scuba gear, here to finish what he started. But Shadow is caught off guard and a large number 3 has appeared above his head. He must find air and quick. As Batman charges into him he steals one of Batman's WayneTech O2 dispensers and can finally breathe again. The fight is on!

The battle is a long and tiresome one, especially because they are both underwater and moving very slowly but they both get some punches in. Batman knows that they will both die down here if he keeps lollygagging so swims away. Shadow believes he has won and says to himself 'Huh, some challenge' though due to the ocean it's more:

"Blrrr Blrrrrb Blub blub." Then, out of the darkness, the BatSub comes racing towards Shadow. It scoops him up and places him in an airtight container. Batman has trapped the Hog?

Batman takes the BatSub to the surface and makes a beeline for the BatCave, Shadow is struggling, trying to escape the airtight container but he just can't. No amount of ambivalence will break him out of this glass chamber.

Meanwhile, Batman starts to feel a little out of breath, he's had a long day. As such, he decides to open up the hatch to let some air in. At first, it's smooth sailing - the hog is as good as his. But suddenly, a hook slowly lowers in and grabs Batman by the cape.

"What on Earth?!" He yells, trying to wrench himself free. No good, he is pulled up from his seat and into the air. After a flurry of panic and confusion, he follows the hook and line that has him as he dangles above a sandy shore, back to a rod, held on tight by a... PURPLE CAT?!

That's right guys, Big the Cat is here and he's fishing for more than just compliments! He looks in a bewildered way at his 'catch'.

"... You're not Froggy!" He says and unhooks him, dropping him onto the beach beside him. Batman retorts "Great, this is going just swimmingly" and slaps the rod from Big's hands. Big's eyes widen and his brow furrows - he is mad and simple, a deadly combination. He does all he knows how and wraps his arms around Batman, squeezing him tighter than he's ever been squeezed before - this thought both scares and saddens Bats. His eyes start to bulge, along with veins in his head and neck. He is fast running out of air.

"Let him go!" The two look over... there stands Shadow, dripping wet. He continues: "This is my battle, not yours." Big releases his grip on Batman, and drops him to the floor. Batman struggles for breath before performing an alarmingly powerful uppercut on the loveable simpleton. He is dead.

The two look at each other in the eyes. Together, in unison, at the same time, they say:

"Let's finish this."

Darkness. Bruce woke up, drenched in his own sweat. He frantically assessed his surroundings. Wayne Manor. He let out an exhausted sigh as his surroundings clicked into place. That dream again. His eyes fell to the figure draped next to him, the only presence that could calm him on a night like this. Blue, spiked fur stuck up from the sheets and Bruce placed a single, comforting hand on his lover and friend. Sonic rolled over, dressed in nothing save his white gloves and a piece of chilli dog that clung to his lips. Those lips Bruce had come to love. The speedster slowly opened his eyes and glanced into Wayne's own solemn scowl.

"Another bad dream?" The caped crusader just nodded looking into the eyes of his muse. He thought he saw some grey hair but hey, neither of them were kids anymore. "That's no good" Sonic muttered, still half asleep.

Bruce Wayne, billionaire and secret crime fighter, arose, fully naked, and slipped into a robe. Sonic raised his head to speak but Batman stopped him with a gesture, it would just have been obnoxious anyway.

"I just need some air" He grumbled, "I'll be back soon". His assurance was all Sonic needed to drift back into peaceful slumber. The Dark Knight knew that come morning his lover of ten years would ask about his dream and he knew he would have to lie to him again. It was three months ago he fought with that dark and mysterious hedgehog. Three months since he had levelled Gotham and then, in a twist, Chicago in the greatest fight the world had ever seen. Three months since…

His thoughts trailed off as he entered the kitchen. He opened the fridge for a midnight snack but soon saw he wouldn't be so lucky. Chilli dogs from top to bottom filled his fridge, a fridge that had cost him $650,000. He rolled his eyes, slammed the fridge closed and turned around. In the doorway stood a black and red hedgehog.

Bruce's immediate reaction was to fight the intruder but as his eyes adjusted to the darkness he dropped his defence and became deadly serious.

"Not happy to see me, Wayne?"

The voice that shot through the silence was both mocking and warm. Good and evil. Ambivalent was the only word that came to mind.

"I told you not to come here" Bruce snarled. He had slipped into his Batman voice, something he only did when angry or hungry.

"Is he upstairs?"

Batman was angry now and definitely not hungry. The rad hog did not wait for an answer. He stepped out of the shadows and walked towards Bruce, a fire in his eyes.

"Please, Shadow" Bruce whimpered in spite of himself. '"We're done fighting, the battle is over."

"I'll say when it's over, Batman" Shadow grunted. "Now I say we pick up from where we left off."

Bruce was weak. His head was filled with memories his heart longed to forget. Memories that made him dizzy. As Shadow stopped in front of Bruce only one thought could be made out in Wayne's mind. One distinguishable sentence.

Here we go again...