PROLOGUE
Yukiya's POV:
He smiled with shaking lips, his cheeks burning and his eyes emanated adoration feelings. It was when Rose (accompanied by the other two girls who laughed uninterruptedly) pushed him towards me that he blushed violently, his cheeks turned from a fresia pink to a crimson red, yet he kept smiling…
"I love you… Yukiya, more than as a friend" His gentle hand held a scarlet rose, while the other one reached mine. I gazed down at the union, surprised and ashamed, "Will you be with me?" He asked me, with an adorable look in his almond eyes and the sweetest voice tone I had the pleasure to hear
This is going to be already the third week where Azusa and I are together. It's also going to be the third week since I enrolled in this school. Still, nothing seems to fill the emptiness…
But, anyway, I don't expect anyone to fill it…
Bilateral retinoblastoma, nay, eye cancer, that's what I suffer from.
I was diagnosed with it when I was seven. I was born with full heterochromia, my right eye is coffee brown, while the left one is gray; my parents overlooked that, in fact, they thought it was a nice detail, but then the eye pains and squint started, also the vision problems… and the leukocoria in each picture of me as a child revealed my condition…
It's something I've learnt to live with, at least until I turned thirteen, when I was diagnosed with severe depression… I'd like to say my moods deficit to keep on living is due to cancer, but, as Hazel Grace said not so long ago: "Depression is not a side effect of cancer; depression is a side effect of dying". Even when I'm not in the depths of a depressive episode, I can say that this illness is going to be the death of me, and I can also say that I've never expected or wanted to be found and saved. But don't misunderstand me, I'm not suicidal, I've never attempted it, and for the mental health's sake of all the people who surrounds me I hope to never attempt it. Wishing not to live anymore is not the same as wishing to die, as well as carrying on is not the same as carrying on when you know it's all over. And that's the way I feel, dead, in other words…
"Hey, sweeting" A hand grazed mine. I raised my sight to find Azusa's angelic face just a few millimeters away from mine, "Won't you come with us?" He asked with a smile which, in other circumstances, I'd have found irresistible, as he pointed rapidly with his cherub glance to our friends group (the one I'll introduce to you later)
I simply nodded, then, he took my hand gently and we started walking up to the medium-sized group, which had stopped their pace at our delay.
Azusa… is a nice boy. Gentlemanly, intellectual, talented in everything he does, timid, conventional but with an open mind, as all the good Japanese men are. He's perfect in every way, and that attracts many (if not all) girls from the institute, something I feel lucky and proud of by having him… Nevertheless… I'd like to say I love him… so fervently… Because I know very well I don't… As I've said before, I've never expected to be found or saved; I decided to date Azusa because I wanted to feel… how love felt, before dying finally… But it seems that only happens in books, it seems that love is impossible to be felt by souls who are slowly withering…
But we have dissuaded the topic sufficiently, why don't we start the story now…?
Hey there~ It's Piper ^^ So... I've posted this on tumblr and wattpad before, but no one noticed and I'm sho sad about that TwT (?) I just wanted to return to FF home (?) Lol, enough whining. This is a thing that came out my mind for some reason, let's say that I wanted a long fic of WH with A LOT of yaoi in it, but not only that, I wanted it to have the max level of drama u3u so I thought "why don't you get over your laziness and wanker and suicidal thoughts and write something nice, Pipes?" and there you are~ Soo... this fanfic has a lot of... uhm... "touchy" topics, such as terminal illnesses, homicidal ideation, self-harm, suicide thoughts, bullying and drugs, so if you don't like it, stop reading it now and have a lovely day with your fave rosy tumblr writers uwu (jk, you guys rock). Err... now that you've reached the end of the prologue and explanation, I'll set you free, so go and recover your lost minutes (?)
P.S I'd recommend you to read it on wattpad, bc of the media (music and images) I love to post there... I'm one of those people who likes to name their work after song names 8'D "I'll follow you into the dark" belongs to Death Cab for Cutie.