Weird, isn't it?

By: Sensue

Summary: Your life is never what you expect it to be like.

Pairings: Angel/Cordy. Cordy/Spike friends.

Notes: This story is in the same series as the other stories that I wrote. You probably have to read the others to understand the dynamics of the relationships, but it's understandable if you know the characters.

Disclaimer: I don't own Angel: the series. The WB and Joss W. does. I wish I was them.

Isn't it funny how your life is never what you'd ever thought it would end up being? I mean, who'd have thought that Queen C, the Bitch of Sunnydale High would ever end up in a situation like this.


I know that the others are laughing at me. THEY think that it's hilarious. Well, let me tell you, it's not.

Cordelia Chase-Angel, is not a pillow!

Of course, I don't say this out loud because that would be disastrous. All of the hard times that they gave me would just multiply a hundred fold. And I would just end up back in the position that started this.

You're all thinking, "What the hell is she complaining about now? If I were her, I'd be the happiest person in the world." I'll give that to you. I am the happiest person in the world, just not at this exact moment. Right now, I'm trying not to scream because my body is utterly falling asleep and it HURTS!

Fred is now looking at me with that "Aww" look on her face. The 'aww' look on her face whenever she thinks that something is cute. I shoot her a glare that would kill every demon in the universe, and what does she do? She looks away and starts laughing under her hands.

That's it. I'm so not taking this anymore. I'm getting up now.

I lied.

There's no way that I can move. Nope. Nada.

The second that I even though of moving, my baby gave a small cry of protest. And I'm now getting the air squeezed out of me, by not just one, but two sleeping vampires.

How did I get in this situation? Well, all I was trying to do was to feed my baby. Then Connor comes up to me, pleading, "Mommy, peas, peas, peas, could you read me a 'tory?" No one in their right mind could say no to him, not even mommy dearest.


I say, "Sure, my little angel, why don't you go find a book and then we'll read it together."

And off he runs, up the stairs to his bedroom, the "blue-big-boy's bedroom," not the "baby's room" to grab his favorite book. No one knows why, but Connor's favorite story is "The princess and the Pea." He loves that story. He knows every single word and will read the entire thing back to you. I've heard it and read it about a million times since Uncle Wes bought him the book. Thank you, Uncle Wes. Of this I'm actually serious, if it wasn't for Wesley, I don't think that that little boy would learn anything, but about science (Fred), sports (all of the boys), the streets (Gunn), the good ol' days (Angel), and 50 ways to annoy your father by bringing up things that happened 100 years ago (Spike).

So he runs down the stairs, book in hand, with his Uncle Will trailing after him. William, aka Spike, leans over gives me and 'Miss Lucy' as he calls my daughter a kiss on the cheek. Now, Angel and Spike have fought over the baby's name for the ENTIRE nine months that I was pregnant. Angel wanted to name her Kathy after his little sister, while Spike wanted to name her Lucy after his mother. The fight almost ended up with one of them getting dusted until I told them that it was MY decision, I was carrying the baby for nine months. I was going to name her.

Then, that led to lots of attempted bribery, but that's another story. I finally decided to name her Kathy Lucy Angel. When I finally told them what I had chosen, I swear the both of them were tearing. But, they old had "something in our eyes."

So, Spike came over and sat down next to me. That's normal; he loves the children and always went to wherever they were. He took Miss Lucy from me and continued to feed her the bottle. Connor climbed onto my lap and started to read his story.

"Once upon a time, there lived a princess…"

Now it was a very quiet day. Lorne was trying to contact some of his sources for a case that we were working on. Gunn, Fred, and Wesley just went out to buy some groceries for the hotel. They actually were due back any minute.

Angel and Spike, due to the fact that it was still light outside should've been still sleeping. Spike was awake, helping me with the baby in fact, as Angel walked down the stairs. He was still rubbing his eyes as he made his way down. I smiled at him, thinking "I wonder where Connor got that look from."

Angel gave me a quick peck on the lips and gave Connor and Kathy a kiss too. He gave Spike a glare. Spike stuck his tongue out at him. So Angel did too. I kicked them both in the shins and shook my head at the two 'adults' in the room. Angel sat down next to me on the other side after inquiring about what we were doing.

Connor was still reading his book, "And the prince put a pea under all of the mattresses…"

Now, I knew that Connor and Kathy were ready for nap time after the story, but what I was in the dark about was that my two favorite champions were getting very, very sleepy.

Spike shifted so that his head was on my shoulder, as he put his arm around me. The baby was shifted so that she lay on both of our laps, while she was sucking on her bottle. Angel, not to be outdone, put his arm around me too.

Connor, getting excited about his favorite part of the story, bounced up and down until he was sitting on his father's lap, with his legs on my thighs. "And the princess couldn't get 'onfortable' all night long…"

Angel had his eyes closed, soaking in the warmth of his family in his arms. His head apparently got too heavy for him to hold up, so he put it on top of mine.

While, the story continued with the prince realizing that she really was a princess, the little boy telling the story was sounding more and more tired. He started yawning in between slurred words.

Angel and Spike were, of course, already sleeping. Snoring actually. And Angel says that I snore. No one can possibly snore as loud as Spike.

The softly spoken words every child has heard in every fairy tale, "and they lived happily ever after" ended the story of finding the truth and learning to love.

Ok. Now everyone is sleeping. On ME, mind you. I was about to try to get out of this situation, when the front door opening, allowing the rest of our friends in the hotel.

I quickly "shushed" them for fear of waking the children. All of the children, big badass vampires included.

They giggled at the sight and rolled their eyes at situation. OH. What a big help that was guys.

Now back to my current problem. My legs are falling asleep from the baby and I am starting to have a crick in my neck from where Angel is pressing at the top of my head. Gosh, does he have a heavy head. Spike is squeezing me like I'm a teddy bear and Connor has now started to roll-over. I put my hand on his back to keep him from rolling off my and Angel's lap.

Gunn quietly walks over and with a sly smile tells me, "Get over it, Barbie, you are never gonna' get out of this. They ain't never gonna' let you get up without waking the baby. Just get used to it."

I can't help myself, I live with two vampires; I actually growled at him. "Take Kathy to her crib, please."

Gunn shakes his head again, but does as I've asked. He gently picks her up, supporting her head, and cradles her until she's up the stairs, and tucked into her crib.

I called Wesley over to me. He looks up over his glasses, a smile on the corner of his lips where he's trying to hide it. "Yes, Cordy, Did you need anything?"

"Wes. Please take Connor and tuck him into bed."

"Your wish is my command, Cordy." Wes bends over picks him up and climbing up the stairs to Connor's room.

Now that I don't have to worry about waking the children, I'm trying to figure out how I'm to escape my two champions.

My plan is all laid out in my head. Now, I only need to make it work.

"Fred," I whisper, "help me out for a second."

Fred rushes over to me. I can't help but smile at her eager face. She's always happy to help me. I think back at my high school days and wish that I could have been friends with her there.

"Hold Angel's head for me for a second," I whisper as I pull myself off the couch slightly. I gently, so that he wouldn't wake up, moved Spike's head from my shoulder. I pulled myself completely off the couch now. Fred still held Angel's head from behind the couch. "Ok, now I'm going to let Spike lean over so that his head is on Angel's shoulder. Then you let Angel's head go. Ok."

Fred nodded. Ok, now it was a little awkward, but we pulled it off. I was free. My legs were shooting pinpricks at me, but at least I could move.

Fred let go so they were both leaning against each other instead of me. I looked back. Oh my God, do they look adorable. From the look on Fred's face, she's thinking the same thing.

We look at each other, in that 'are you thinking what I'm thinking' look. We both run into the kitchen cabinet where we hid the camera equipment from Connor and his curious hands. I adjusted the zoom and turned the flash off. As quiet as a mouse, I took the picture. Fred was beside me trying not to giggle too loud.

I put the film aside, reminding myself to get it developed later that night.

Wes and Gunn came downstairs. The look on their faces was so funny. They had a shocked, yet horrified look at first, then the horror became amusement at the image presented before them. There they were two sworn enemies, asleep on each other. Cuddling the other, while thinking it was ME.

Like I said before, I never thought that this would be my life. But here I am, married to champion vampire with a soul. Friends with demons, myself a half-demon. Two wonderful and beautiful children. And the best and dearest of friends that I could ever wish for. Yes. That's my life.

And I can't help but treasure every single moment.

Especially since the second that my two champions wake up, they'll kill me for letting them sleep like that. But I'm not really worried, after all I've got leverage now.

If they don't stop hating each other, I'll send that picture to the old gang from Sunnydale High. I'm sure Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Willow would love to see some our family's pictures.

Hahaha. Sometimes I think I'm evil.

The End