Discovery of Power
by The Unholy Goddess of Insanity, Razzabeth
Disclaimer: I own not.
Plot: Link finds other uses for his ability to manipulate time..
"FUCK!" Link cursed, skidding into North Clock Town 5 minutes too late to stop Sakon from stealing the old woman's bomb bag.
"Oh dear! Sonny, you better fucking calm down on your language!" The oxymoron of an old lady cried.
"Suck me, Grandma! I don't have time for this shit." Link said, then pulled his ocarina out of his ass and started playing.
.3 seconds later, Link was back at the beginning of his three days. He sighed, then watched as the very same old lady that he had cussed out negative two minutes ago walked by and gave him a friendly wave and smile.
Wait a minute..
Slowly, a thought worked its way into Link's brain, fighting against the obstacles of ADHD and the inherent stupidity that comes from 1.) being a blonde, and 2.) being male. It was such a great thought, probably the best idea of all time, that Link just stood there, trying to comprehend what this could possibly mean.
A wolf's howl knocked him out of his reverie.
"Hey.." Link said.
...
"I.. hmm.." he continued.
...
Silence. The small dog quit its yapping for a few minutes, and cocked its head to one side to hear what Link had to say next.
"I can like.. control time."
...
"YEEEEEEEEE-HAW!!" Link yelled, ripping off his clothes. Tatl was thrown from her hiding place.
Ring ring! "What the fuck, Link?!"
"I'm NAKED! WEEEEEEEE!" And he was. Several village people came out of their homes to see what all the fuss was about.
"Bloody hell, boy, put some clothes on! I can see your dingle-hopper!" A carpenter yelled.
"AHAHA!! NEVEEER!" Link squealed, then threw a Deku Nut at the offending carpenter, blinding him and permanently disfiguring him.
"Oh my stars! He permanently disfigured Bob! DIE, INSANE LITTLE BOY!"
And so, the townspeople formed a mob and captured Link, making a big show of setting up a stake at which Link could be burnt. He was then tied to this phallic piece of wood, and was about to be set aflame when..
"STOP!" Mayor Dotour bellowed. "The boy is allowed one final request.."
Link grinned evilly.
"All I wish is to play one last song on my beloved Ocarina.."
The townspeople looked at each other, blinking.
"Well, I don't see any harm in that. Give the boy his Ocarina." the Mayor said.
Do doooo, do. Do doooo, do. Doodle doo doo doodoodoo, doo do do dooooo.
WOOOOSH!!
"I'm NAKED!! AGAIN!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
~fin
by The Unholy Goddess of Insanity, Razzabeth
Disclaimer: I own not.
Plot: Link finds other uses for his ability to manipulate time..
"FUCK!" Link cursed, skidding into North Clock Town 5 minutes too late to stop Sakon from stealing the old woman's bomb bag.
"Oh dear! Sonny, you better fucking calm down on your language!" The oxymoron of an old lady cried.
"Suck me, Grandma! I don't have time for this shit." Link said, then pulled his ocarina out of his ass and started playing.
.3 seconds later, Link was back at the beginning of his three days. He sighed, then watched as the very same old lady that he had cussed out negative two minutes ago walked by and gave him a friendly wave and smile.
Wait a minute..
Slowly, a thought worked its way into Link's brain, fighting against the obstacles of ADHD and the inherent stupidity that comes from 1.) being a blonde, and 2.) being male. It was such a great thought, probably the best idea of all time, that Link just stood there, trying to comprehend what this could possibly mean.
A wolf's howl knocked him out of his reverie.
"Hey.." Link said.
...
"I.. hmm.." he continued.
...
Silence. The small dog quit its yapping for a few minutes, and cocked its head to one side to hear what Link had to say next.
"I can like.. control time."
...
"YEEEEEEEEE-HAW!!" Link yelled, ripping off his clothes. Tatl was thrown from her hiding place.
Ring ring! "What the fuck, Link?!"
"I'm NAKED! WEEEEEEEE!" And he was. Several village people came out of their homes to see what all the fuss was about.
"Bloody hell, boy, put some clothes on! I can see your dingle-hopper!" A carpenter yelled.
"AHAHA!! NEVEEER!" Link squealed, then threw a Deku Nut at the offending carpenter, blinding him and permanently disfiguring him.
"Oh my stars! He permanently disfigured Bob! DIE, INSANE LITTLE BOY!"
And so, the townspeople formed a mob and captured Link, making a big show of setting up a stake at which Link could be burnt. He was then tied to this phallic piece of wood, and was about to be set aflame when..
"STOP!" Mayor Dotour bellowed. "The boy is allowed one final request.."
Link grinned evilly.
"All I wish is to play one last song on my beloved Ocarina.."
The townspeople looked at each other, blinking.
"Well, I don't see any harm in that. Give the boy his Ocarina." the Mayor said.
Do doooo, do. Do doooo, do. Doodle doo doo doodoodoo, doo do do dooooo.
WOOOOSH!!
"I'm NAKED!! AGAIN!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
~fin