Title: All Around Me.
Rating: K+
Summary: This is Ian's point of view of when Wanda was unconscious and being removed from Melanie's body. Songfic for All Around Me by Flyleaf.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to this story. Stephenie Meyer is the real genius here.
I watched Doc as he slowly sedated Wanda. Watching her fall deeply into unconsciousness was one of the hardest things I ever had to face. I knew, at this point, that she wasn't coming back. I'd never get to see her again, never get to hold her.
My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you
I loved her. Truly, I did. But, she took that away from me. God, I'd miss her so much.
I love her, I kept thinking to myself. This is what she wanted. At least she was happy.
And I knew that. I knew she was happy with the life she'd lived here. She was so selfless. She gave up her life that she could've easily spent well and happy, to give Jared and Jamie their Melanie back.
"Ian, can you come here for a moment?" Doc called me over. I was sitting in the farthest corner of the hospital wing, away from my poor Wanderer. I nodded and walked slowly over to Doc, and the limp body that was now Melanie – not Wanda.
"What do you need?" I asked, clearly unconcerned with anything but Wanderer.
"You do know what Wanda wants done, don't you?" He asked, although he'd repeated it a thousand times over already. Of course I knew what she wanted done. When Wanda was removed from Melanie's body, she wanted us to have a proper – I could barely think the word – ...funeral, for her. She wanted to be buried with Walter and Wes, who had both passed away during the few months that Wanda was here.
I didn't like this idea. I wanted her to be with me. I knew how selfish it was, but at this point, nothing meant more to me than her.
"Ian – " Doc was cut off just after he managed to say my name by a crash as the door to the hospital wing burst open.
It was Jamie.
"No! Ian! No, you can't!" He was panting. I knew what must've happened. Jeb, or one of the others must've let slip what was to happened to Wanderer's soul. "I won't let you! She deserves to live!" He grabbed my arm, to try and pull me away from the scene.
This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you
"Don't you want to see your sister again?" I asked him, coldly. I quickly jerked my arm away from him. "Come on, Doc. We haven't got all day." I can't believe I just treated Jamie like that. I was never mean to him before.
He grabbed my arm again, clearly wanting me to look at him. As I snatched my arm back the second time, I turned and look at him.
I was surprised by what I saw: Jamie, heartbroken, with his face tear stained. He loved Wanda like his sister. We couldn't do this to him. To the rest of the community. Wanda was a vital part of our survival. Not just for our material needs, but she kept us all sane. She stopped us all from tearing each others heads off every time we got angry. She was so peaceful and calm. We needed her, just like anybody else in this society.
"Doc. I've got another idea." I spoke it slowly, trying to calm my self down. I took a few deep breaths as he nodded for me to continue. "We – we could try to spare her. Let's just keep her for now. I– I'm not ready to let her go just yet."
"Sure, Ian. But you know, we'll have to let her go sometime." He sounded sad, but the look on his face was strictly professional.
"Maybe... Maybe not." I murmured too low for anyone around me to hear.
I'm alive, I'm alive
It was quiet for another minute, as I watched Doc slowly trace the line on the back of Melanie's neck with his scalpel. When there was a clean cut, about an inch long there, Doc turned to me.
"Ian? Would you like to do this?" I was surprised. Surely he wouldn't want to do this. I mean, I'm no doctor.
"I–I wouldn't know what to do." I was nervous because I knew I'd end up doing it; Doc would persuade me, easily.
"It's simple really. I should've been able to do it from the beginning." Doc had really beat himself up over all those lost humans. "Just use your index finger and gently stroke the outside of the soul. When it – " He struggled for the right word. "Ripples, place your finger under the front of the soul. Then, slowly slide it back towards you. That should set it loose. You can, then, pick it up, but very gently."
I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
I tried to do as he said. I was nervous at first. But, then I thought of Wanderer. Her tiny little figure slowly moved – almost danced – over my fingertips. Her thousands of little appendages floated over my hands. When she danced, she was as fluid as water. She actually sparkled in the light. It was the most magnificent thing I'd ever experienced.
I heard Doc flip open the top of the cyrotank. I could hear it whirring as he started it up.
"Good, good. Now slowly place her in here." He held the top of the tank open for me.
I watched as one of my tears – I hadn't noticed I was crying – fell into the tank that was soon going to be home to her. This moment was so pure, so filled with love, that no matter what happened around us, it felt as though it was only myself and Wanderer. Everything in that moment felt well. Even though I'd lost my family – except Kyle –, even though the war was nearly over, and the human population was soon to be extinct, I felt truly happy, as if everything in the world was suddenly perfect. I felt whole.
Gently, I slowly placed the glittering soul into the cyrotank.
My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place
"Goodbye for now, My Wanderer. I love you."
I sat next to a very tiny, blonde, curly-haired girl. She's been unconscious since Mel, Jared and Jamie had found her. It was about 12 hours since her insertion. I hadn't slept a wink since.
I was waiting. Waiting for her to regain consciousness... waiting for her to recognize us... waiting to see and hear and feel my Wanderer, again.
I'm sure how long it would take, though. Doc had never preformed an "insertion" as Wanda had called it so many times before. It usually took about a half of a day or so for the removals of souls. Doc said she was becoming stronger each time he checked on her, so it shouldn't be much longer.
I was in the hospital wing by myself at the time. Everyone else had gone to each their breakfast.
The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you
Then, she stirred. She turned her face toward me. The face of an angel. Not only the body, but the person inside it. She moaned quietly. The medication Doc had given her was beginning to wear off. Although it was such a rough sound, it was music to my ears. I haven't heard such a magical sound in all my life.
I'm alive, I'm alive
Slowly, her eyes began to open. Without realizing what was happened I was suddenly staring into the most beautiful, intense set of reflective silver eyes.
I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
She must have comprehended what had happened because as soon as she'd seen me, a gorgeous, small smile lit up her lips.
And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you
She was squinting now. The lights in the room must've been too bright for her. But, I also noticed that the twinkle in her eyes was more than the silver of her irises. There was the smallest tear running down the side of her face. A smile stretched across my face, although not quite reaching my eyes, as I reached over and brushed the tear from her face.
I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
She tried to sit up on her own, but because of the medications, her body was still too weak. I leaned over from my position on the chair next to her cot, and slowly helped her up.
I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
Her tiny hands clung to my shirt. I held her tightly to my chest; I wasn't willing to give her up the second time.Slowly again, I pulled her into my lap. I hadn't noticed everyone in the room until Melanie cleared her throat, obviously wanting some time with Wanderer.
Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe
I held her so closely to me, and leaned my head down next to her ear. "I love you, my Wanderer." I whispered so quietly, I was sure no one else could've heard me besides Wanda.
I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed
"Ian," she sighed. "I... I love you, too."
A/N: Lovely! This was wonderful. And, I know that this wasn't what it was like in the Host, when Wanda first woke up. but i thought it fit much, much better. :)
reviews? :)