Toby's POV
It was just bad luck that sam was in the last place I looked. Well, technically it was the first place I'd looked but I hadn't seen him. It was only after an hour prowling around the building that I had bothered to look under the desk, where I found my deputy hunched in a tight ball, eyes Glazed and unfocused. How the hell he had gotten by Ginger, I wasn't sure, but I'd be sure to ask her about that later. I should probably start from the beginning, though. Tell you the story of how I came to find my deputy, one of the toughest men I know, under my desk.
An anti-gay marriage bill had just passed. We were all worn out, tired of watching people lose rights one at a time, but I was worried about Sam, because it had seemed to hit him the worst of all. He'd been quiet and withdrawn over the last week. And although I was loathe to admit it, that damn brotherly instinct was rearing it's head again and I wanted to make sure he was alright. Donna told me he and Josh had left for lunch. I had hurried on my way to join them when I found them kissing in a stairwell. The panic in both of their eyes when they saw me, just for a moment before they bolted, was heartbreaking. I tried to tell them to stop running , but both were gone before my brain caught up.
I decided to go after sam, after telling Donna to find Josh. The terror in the eyes of my deputy made me worried that my finding them would knock him off the precarious Perch he had been on all week, and I was determined not to let sam break.
Donna's POV
Toby didn't tell me why I needed to find Josh, but there was so much unusual concern in his eyes that I didn't question it. I find him within five minutes, Having coaxed him out of every hiding hole he has at some point or another, when his ptsd gets bad. This time I find him in Leo's closet. Clever, since Leo is in a meeting and doesn't mind when he finds Josh here. He's actually pretty good at calming him down, though they both claim i'm better. I sit down next to him, listening to his raspy breathing before he whispers "Toby caught Sam and I kissing he's going to tell everyone we're going to be fired." his voice is barely a whisper as he buries his head against my neck. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close as he sobs quietly into my chest. "Oh Josh." I murmur gently, my heart breaking at his pain. "Oh Josh."
Toby's POV
In my defense for why I took so long, I DON'T have to find sam on a weekly basis. And I'm glad too, because my heart can't take the look in his eyes as I crouch next to him, one hand on his shoulder. His eyes shift towards me, unfocused and terrified. "T-toby?" He stammers softly, the fear in his voice making him sound childish. I nod, sitting and pulling him against me. His whole body tenses, true panic finally hitting him. "Let me go, please, let me go I'm filthy disgusting wrong you're clean let me go please God let me go." His sobs are heart wrenching as I tighten my arms around him, holding him gently yet firmly. "Shhh it's ok, Sam. It's ok. I don't give a damn who you kiss but you've gotta calm down. It's going to be ok, Sam. I've got you." I rock gently, glad when he finally begins to relax against me, the shaking easing slightly. I don't truly relax until he falls asleep, or passes out, from sheer exhaustion. I sigh, running one hand through his hair before gently getting my arms under him and carrying him to the couch, casting ginger a grateful look when she brings a blanket. I gently tuck it around him, sitting down next to the couch, content to let the instinct in my chest that demanded to know that my deputy, and little brother, was alright.
Donna's POV
I don't know how long we sit there until Josh pulls back slightly, shifting so his head was on my shoulder, my arms still around him. I sigh, running a hand along his back for a moment, before I speak. "How long?" Josh tenses for a moment, then goes slack. "Nine months." Josh rasps softly. I chuckle softly. "I thought it was seven I was close." He looks up at me in shock, and I snort. "You're quite easy to read, Joshua. Now cmon." I stand and offer a hand to him. He looks at me suspiciously for a moment, but doesn't resist when I pull him to his feet, though he does lean on the wall for a moment for balance. "Where are we going?" I open the door, blinking at the sharp light, glad that Leo doesn't seem to be back yet. "Toby was going to find Sam and calm him down. So, we are going to call Toby and find out where they are." I have to move and grab Josh's arm, to get him to stop when he starts rambling about how Toby was going to think he was disgusting or fire him. I swear to god, Toby, if you don't take care of them, I will end you." Leo coming in, unfortunately, doesn't end Josh's rambling.
Leo's POV
I come into my office and find Josh and Donna slipping out of the closet. That's not uncommon, Josh's favorite place to hide during a panic attack has become my closet. I let him do it, because I think it's better than him ending up in random corners where Donna has to find him, and as good as she is, it takes a while. I can't say I'm all that surprised when I hear what he is ranting about, but the moment he finally sees me, true fear hits his eyes. "L-Leo." He stammers softly, and I quickly step forward and put my hands on his shoulders. "I don't care, Joshua. Nobody does. Ok?" Josh nods, resting his head on my shoulder for a long moment before straightening up. Donna has crept behind my desk and borrowed my phone. She finishes talking to someone, Toby I think, and comes and grabs Josh. "Wish me luck keeping him sane for the walk over there." She mutters, leading Josh to the door. "And thank you, Leo. I nod, sighing and sitting behind my desk, hoping that I won't regret letting them handle this.
Toby's POV
Josh hesitantly enters my office, hands twitching slightly. Donna hangs back by the door, as Josh slumps into a chair in front of my desk. Sam is still sleeping soundly on my couch. Josh actually whimpers as I stand to stand in front of him. I kneel, looking him straight in the eyes. "Nobody here, least of all me, gives a damn about who you date. Ok? As long as you're happy and nobody here has to beat someone to a pulp for hurting you, I'm good with whoever it is I find you kissing." He laughs softly, then glances over at Sam. "Is he ok?" I nod, glancing over at Sam again, just to check that he's still there and ok. "He's fine, Joshua. He needs the sleep." Josh nods, glancing over at Sam longingly. I exchange a glance with C.J., who is standing in the doorway of my office, knowing Josh wants to sit with him but he still looks too terrified to ask for a glass of water, much less anything else. "Joshua, go sit with your boyfriend. I have a meeting now anyway." I say gently, lying through my teeth. He gives a grateful look and sits down next to the couch where Sam is, slipping one hand around Sam's. I give C.J. a sharp look, and we both duck out into the hallway. It takes her less than two dozen steps, in the safety of a hallway, to be up in my face. "What the hell is going on, Toby!" She demands angrily. "I clearly missed something, so please, tell me, what the hell is going on!" I shake my head, refusing to tell her. It was their secret to share.
C.J.'s POV
I glare furiously at Toby, eyes locked stubbornly on his. Toby may be the only person who can resist my glare, his eyes locked furiously on mine. "Toby I am the press secretary I have to know what is going on!" He shakes his head sharply. "No you don't. And if you do, go ask them yourself. Because I'm not telling, CJ. It's their lives." He takes two steps back, turning sharply on his heels. I don't follow him. When Toby is in this kind of mood, nobody is getting anything worthwhile out of him. I stalk back towards my press room, praying to God that I didn't get a question about something with Sam and Josh that I wasn't aware of. So... I basically just needed them not to be mentioned. The reporters are positively rabid today, and Danny moves to intercept me before I am able to reach the podium. He grabs my shoulder, and I catch something in his eyes that makes me stop. "C.J. Listen to me. You do not want to go up there and do this briefing. They have...information, about Sam and Josh. You do not want to answer these questions." I freeze, staring at him. "My office, now, Danny." He nods, following me to my office. I sit behind the desk, Danny standing in front of me. "What do you know that I haven't been told, Danny?" Danny sighs, then says quietly, "There's a rumor that Sam and Josh are in a relationship, C.J. And while I don't give a damn, and think it should be private, the others….don't agree. They're out for blood. Josh and Sam's blood."