Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I do like to play with them.
"You're never at a loss for words, Jane."
The brunette stared ahead, slack-jawed and unblinking.
"Jane?"
Finally, a blink. And then another. And then a deep, gulping breath.
"Please," the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts pleaded. "Please, Jane. Say something" She reached across the table, her fingers barely brushing the back of Jane's hand before the brunette pulled away abruptly, placing her hands in her lap.
The quiet lingered between the two, Jane looking everywhere but Maura and Maura only looking at Jane.
Without warning, Jane rose to her feet and quickly fished around in her pocket before throwing some bills down on the table. As she turned to walk away, delicate fingers gently clasped around her wrist. She froze.
"Please don't leave," Maura pleaded. "Let's talk about this."
"Maura, the last thing I want to do is talk about this," the brunette said, barely above a whisper. "I've kept my mouth shut for years, my feelings to myself, bottled up..for years...because...because I...I didn't want to talk about," she gestured animatedly between the two of them, "this."
"It doesn't have to change anything, Jane. You're still my best friend. I still..."
Jane jerked her wrist free, "Don't. It does. It changes everything. Don't you see that?" She turned to face Maura and knelt down beside her so that she could look in her eyes.
Tears threatened to spill from the blonde's eyes as Jane smiled warmly at her. She reached out hesitantly and tucked a golden strand of hair behind what she believed to be a perfectly sculpted ear on the most perfect woman the Creator had ever imbued with life.
"You're usually right, Maur. In fact, I'd say that in all the years I've known you," she smiled sadly, "and loved you," she dropped her eyes to the floor for a moment and took a quick breath. "Maur, I never wanted you to know. I never planned to tell you. But no matter what you say or how much you protest, you're wrong. You're wrong about this. It changes everything. Nothing can ever be the same again. Ever."
The lanky brunette stood and straightened her clothes. "I'm," she looked over her shoulder and hitched her thumb toward the door, "just gonna go. I'll, ugh...I'll see you at work Monday."
"At least let me drive you home," Maura offered and turned to grab her purse from the seat beside her. When she stood and turned expectantly to where Jane had been only seconds earlier, there was now only empty space.
She slipped her jacket on as she hastily made her way to the door. The frigid air slammed into her lungs as she stepped out of the warmth of the Dirty Robber. Her eyes scanned down the street in every direction, looking through the falling snowflakes for some sign of where Jane had headed when she walked out only seconds before her But, there was none. The mess of shoe prints from the Robber patrons provided no help.
Three long and seemingly interminable weeks had passed by and Maura had seen Jane, but only at work. Despite all attempts by the Chief Medical Examiner, Jane had effectively removed Maura from her life.
For three weeks, Maura had tried every day to show Jane that in spite of her knowledge, nothing had, in fact, changed. She still brought her coffee every morning, which Jane accepted with a simple, "Thanks, Maura." Not Maur, but Maura. The difference was too subtle to be noticed by Frost or Korsak, but not lost on Maura.
Maura still texted and offered to have lunch together every day. The refusals were always polite and to anyone else, they would have seemed legitimate, but Maura saw them for what they were—a rejection of her friendship.
Maura, herself, had shut Jane out only a year or so earlier after Jane shot Paddy. Though she understood then how Jane's actions were justifiable, Maura's reaction to the events took a toll on their friendship. Only a near-death experience that threatened each with permanent loss helped them resolve the issue and rebuild their relationship. Now, however, unlike before, Maura could not reconcile Jane's reaction to what Maura revealed she knew.
How could revealing to Jane that she knew the depth of the brunette's feelings for her cost her their friendship? Shouldn't that have helped Jane be more comfortable around her because she'd no longer need to school her expressions, avert her eyes, or choose her words more carefully? Why had this outcome been so different from what she had expected? She hadn't misunderstood or misinterpreted Jane's feelings—that much had been certain based on Jane's immediate reaction & lack of contact for the last three weeks. What had she not taken into account? What variable had changed or not been factored?
A gentle hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her reverie. "Maura? Dear, are you okay?" Angela's concerned eyes looked down on the honey-blonde.
"What?" Maura forced herself to sit upright quickly forgetting about the glass of wine clutched in her hand. "Fuck," echoed throughout the otherwise quiet home.
"Maura! Language!" Angela scolded before laughing. "I guess my Janie has been more of a bad influence on you than we realized."
Maura ignored the statement and hurried into the kitchen, quickly depositing her now empty wine glass before grabbing club soda and a towel.
Angela put her hands on Maura's and took the towel and bottle from her, "Here, let me."
With unshed tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, Maura breathed out a squeaky "Thank you, Angela."
As Angela worked to clean the red wine from the upholstery and carpet she spoke, "I don't know what's going on with you girls, but I wish one of you would step up and fix it."
"I..." Maura began, but was quickly silenced.
"Jane has said nothing is going on and I know you can't lie" she paused her dabbing and glanced up at Maura. "Sweetie, what is it? Why are you sitting here drinking alone—at home—on a Friday night while my Janie has decided to screw her way through whatever is going on?" Angela didn't wait for an answer before continuing, "She's gone on more dates with more men in the last two weeks than she's been on in the last ten years."
Angela looked up just in time to catch the surprised look on Maura's face before the controlled, emotionless Maura of years past resurfaced. Maura cleared her throat before speaking, "A healthy sex life has many health benefits, Angela. Studies have shown that people who engage in intimate encounters on a regular basis suffer from fewer health problems like depression, the common cold, and the like. A healthy sex life is, in itself rewarding, but when you consider the far-reaching economic impact it has, happier and healthier employees are more productive, then we should applaud Jane and encourage others to follow in a similar suit," she plastered a smile on and then added, "I can only hope she's practicing safe sex with her partners, especially since you're alluding to the fact that there have recently been multiple ones. Perhaps you could talk to her about that—as her mother."
"I think that's a conversation that's more appropriate for a friend to have with her, dear." The sadness that was evident in Angela's eyes was reflected in Maura's heart.
Although she was starved for companionship, the elder Rizolli woman before her was not the one she wanted to be near now. Maura walked toward the stairs that would lead to her bedroom. "I've had a rather long day-"
"...and a lot to drink," Angela added as she dropped the empty wine bottle into the recycling container.
Maura sighed heavily, "I am an adult, Angela. I managed perfectly well for most of my life without mothering and friends." She bit the inside of her cheek and groaned in frustration before turning toward the kitchen to see the back door silently closing.
She had not only caused Jane to abandon her, but now she had purposefully snapped at Angela. What would be left of her small circle of friends if the Rizzolis disappeared from her life? What would be left of her?
Maura sank down onto the stairs and brought her knees up to her chest. Perhaps she had been wrong. Maybe, this new information that Angela had given her was proof that Jane wasn't in love with her. After all, she couldn't very well be in love with her AND going on countless dates with men. Unless she's trying to prove to herself or to me that I was wrong. I know I didn't miss a variable or misinterpret any of the data.
The smell of freshly brewing coffee wafted into her bedroom. She stirred, sliding her arm from beneath the petite body spooned against her side. Jane ran her long fingers over her face as she tried to force herself awake. Suddenly, her eyes flew open. Coffee. Brewing coffee. She was in bed beside whoever this was and someone else was in her apartment making coffee.
There was only one person who would dare enter her apartment at this hour on a Saturday morning. The only problem was that she had taken her Ma's key away weeks ago. Before she could wrap her mind around who she knew it was, there was a soft knock at her door.
Jane battled within herself. Should she answer? If she didn't, she knew Maura would open the door. And if she did, she'd have to face her. Jane's brain stuttered for a moment. If she didn't answer and Maura walked in, she'd walk in to see her in bed with... "Fuck," Jane thought as she swung her long legs over the side of the bed. "What's her name? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
There was another light tap-tap-tap on her door followed by soft and pleading, "Jane. Please."
The brunette took three quick strides toward the door and pulled it open only enough to squeeze out of it. "God damn it, Maura. What are you doing here?" she asked through clenched teeth.
She pushed past the hazel-eyed beauty and into the kitchen. Her eyes fell on a plate on the kitchen counter. "Is that...is that a nitrate laced pork product?"
Maura smiled as she set the steaming coffee down in front of her. "Yes, Jane I brought you bacon."
She moved to stand on the other side of the island and watched as Jane picked up slice after slice of bacon, hungrily shoving them into her mouth.
"Bringing me bacon and making me coffee doesn't change anything, Maur." She realized what she called her just as the name rolled off of her tongue.
Maura smiled, but sadness painted her features. "Who is she?" She paused as Jane stopped chomping on the bacon and looked up at her. "I know you have a woman in your bed, Jane. Your mother believes you're being promiscuous with men and I let her continue to think that."
"How do..." before she could finish her question, Maura pointed to the neatly folded pile of clothing she had left outside of Jane's bedroom door.
"I picked up a little...out of habit. A 36C is way too large for your breasts, Jane. The only logical deduction I could make based on the clothes scattered about was that you, Jane, have a woman in your bed."
Before Jane could respond, a banging on her door and simultaneous ringing of her cell phone ensued. "Could this day get any worse?" Jane ignored the call and answered her door
"Janie. You ignored my call," the elder Rizzoli said with the phone still to her ear as she walked past Jane and into the apartment.
"Yeah, well, I figured I'd stop you from waking up all of my neighbors, Ma." Jane shut the door and turned to see her mother looking sternly in the direction of her kitchen.
"Angela..." "Maura..." they both started.
"Please," Maura said as she walked toward Angela. "I am so sorry for what I said last night."
"It's okay, dear. You were drunk. We all say and do stupid things when we've had a bit too much to drink," Angela said with a wave of her hand before dropping onto the couch.
Jane moved to stand between the two women. "What did she say to you, Ma?" She asked before turning to the blonde, "And why were you drunk? You don't ever get drunk."
Before either could respond to Jane's questions, a disembodied voice drifted into the living room from Jane's bedroom, "Ohhhhh detective." The singsong voice reverberated through the silent room.
Maura felt Jane's embarrassment and blushed for her. Jane burned crimson and her eyes darted from her mother toward the hallway.
"Ohhhh detective! I need my clothes unless you have a repeat performance of last night planned," the definitely feminine and strikingly familiar (to Maura) voice said.
Jane looked at Maura who turned away and walked briskly toward Jane's room. She knelt just outside the door to pick up the neatly folded stack of clothes before turning the handle, stepping into the room, and shutting the door behind her.
The buxom blonde before her turned bright red. "Dr. Isles!" Her hand flew to her chest and another to the juncture between her legs.
"Oh please, Officer Atkinson, there's no need to feel embarrassed. I am a doctor. I assure you that..."
The young patrol officer stepped forward and grabbed her clothes. "Where's Detective Rizzoli?"
Maura calmly sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her legs in a very demure and lady-like fashion.
"Detective Rizzoli," she chuckled. "You obviously shared her bed and your flesh with her last night, yet you're not referring to her by her given name. May I ask why?"
Green eyes narrowed in her direction. "No, you may not. Where is Detective Rizzoli?"
"She is just in the other room speaking with her mother. Your first name is Michelle, isn't it?" Not waiting for an answer Maura continued, "Michelle, I'm going to give you a bit of advice and I strongly encourage you to heed it. When you leave this room, walk straight past," she paused and smiled, "Detective Rizzoli and her mother and leave the building. Don't stop. Don't make small talk. Don't try to catch her eye. Just leave. I know this is bad social etiquette, but her mother's appearance this morning means that she has to explain your presence here AND the things you said." Maura rose to her feet and opened the door for the young woman.
The officer just smirked and sucked her teeth. She looked Maura in the eye and cockily said, "You had your chance with her. And yeah, I know she's still hung up on you, but know this. It didn't bother me … not one bit that she moaned your name when her fingers were buried deep inside me last night. So I think it's you who needs to back off." The petite officer's voice had continued to rise until she poked Maura in the chest, emphasizing the words "back off" with her short, stubby fingers.
Maura was taken aback by the brashness of the fireball before her. She could definitely understand why Jane felt an obvious attraction for her.
"It's time for you to leave," Jane said firmly from the door. As the petite officer brushed past Jane, the brunette grabbed her forearm and added, "And don't ever make the mistake again of putting your hands on Dr. Isles. Understand?"
"You mean sorta like she'd never consider putting her hands on you?"The officer paused for a moment and looked down at Jane's hand on her arm, scoffing. "Yeah, you two deserve each other. Doctor Death," she leveled her gaze on Maura and then glanced back to Jane, "and the cold-hearted Detective Bitch."