Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it
you know that we're worth it
will you love me?
Even with my dark side.
Kelly Clarkson
Fear Frees Love
This is Jane's point of view in the missing scenes from Blue Bird after his confession on the plane. I noticed there has not been many stories from his point of view after the plane scene. I got inspired by what lawyer Ted Randolph said in Jane's room right before Jane left for the airport. The song Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson reminded me of Jane and Lisbon. It mostly from Jane's point of view. The lyrics are at the end of the story.
Disclaimer: Don't own The Mentalist
He said the words. The words he had been waiting to say to Teresa Lisbon for years. The words he was too terrified to speak- I love you. How could three simple words be so difficult to say? He had nearly missed his opportunity. The person who encouraged him to go to the airport was lawyer Ted Randolph. It was by accident, of course. He had solved Jane's clue in the letter and wanted to find the killer of Greta DeJorio, whom he had an affair. Randolph burst into Jane's room aiming a gun and soon was followed by Wes Baxter also aiming a gun, who also wanted to find the killer, whom Greta's husband had accused of killing her. Wes, as well solved the clue. Jane really did not want the guys to point guns at him, so he invited them to have drinks with him instead. He knew they were innocent anyway. They were seeking revenge on the killer. He needed the company anyway. Ted Randolph, described that he was in love with Greta and and wanted to marry her and divorce her husband. Ted ended it. "I was a coward, a blind, stupid coward. I was so filled with fear and self hatred that I destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. By the time I realized my mistake I was too late. She was gone." As Ted was saying the last words, Jane realized this was him. He too was the coward, like Ted, the stupid coward. He knew he had loved Teresa Lisbon. He thought that if he showed what he felt she would realize it. He wrote the letter and booked the hotel and gave her dresses to wear. Then it backfired and she was angry and left for the airport.
"Sir, what is your name?" The security guard in the room seated at a table interrupted his thoughts as a guard brought him in and entered the TSA interrogation room. The officer led Jane to a table and pulled up a chair for him. The airport medic put a gauze and ice around Jane's ankle after he sat down. The officer then put a chair next to Jane and he put his leg on it. The officer then left the room and took guard outside.
"Patrick Jane. Consultant for FBI." Jane answered.
"FBI?" The officer questioned looking at Jane. Then looked down. Then continued on. "Mr. Jane, what was your purpose for entering the aircraft?"
Jane thought about what lie he would say. He might as well tell the truth. "To tell the woman I love that I love her." Saying the word had become since easier since he said it to Teresa.
"Do you realize that entering the aircraft without permission is illegal? Far as we know you could be a terrorist You had no other reason. You had no intention of harming anybody?" The officer stated seriously and stared at Jane .
"Yes, I realize. I told you my reason. You searched me. I have no weapons on me. I never carry one. It's just me, myself, and I." Jane answered. He was getting tired of the questions but knew he had to answer. "Mr. Jacobs, You're holding in repressed anger. Your wife cheated on you with another man and your kids are angry at you for a reason." Jane observed his badge and the officer looking at his papers and saw in the corner of his eye a photograph of the officer and a woman.
"That is none of your business! What game are you playing at?" The officer said angrily.
"No game. It's just that you keep looking at the photo on the table while questioning me. You have no ring on." Jane stated. "You are separated."
"We need to get back to business, Mr. Jane."
"Fine. Go on." Jane responded.
"You said you are FBI. Where is your badge, Mr. Jane? As FBI, I would think you would be aware of the rules and procedures. You committed a crime, sir. You will need to face the consequences."
"It's in the federal vehicle outside the airport or possibly my hotel room at the Blue Bird Lodge. I don't know. I was in a hurry and didn't think about my badge. It was the last thing on my mind. Call my head agent , Dennis Abott." Jane explained.
"What is the number then?" The TSA officer asked as he pulled out his cell phone out of his pocket. Jane shared the number. Then the officer dialed the number.
"Hello. Agent Dennis Abbott." Abbott answered. He hoped he heard from Jane. He had know idea what the man was planning. He knew he was at the airport. Knowing Jane, he probably did something illegal that Abbott would have to fix.
"This is Daniel Jacobs, TSA officer at the airport. We have a man in custody that claims to work with you at the FBI. His name is Patrick Jane."
Abbott's suspicion was correct. He did do something illegal. "Yes, he does. He's a consultant."
"Well, he entered a aircraft without permission and disrupted the flight. He will need to face the consequences." Officer Jacobs explained.
"Will I be able to take him of custody tonight?" Abbott asked.
"Sir, he cannot leave tonight. We need to observe his behavior and he needs to think about what he has done." The officer said angrily staring at Jane.
"Okay. I get it. You don't have to be so angry about it." Jane responded. "I promise I won't be bad tonight."
"Let me talk to him at least." Abbott stated.
"Fine." The officer hands the phone to Jane still staring at him.
"Hello, Abbott. It's so good to talk to you." Jane answered.
"Jane, what were you thinking breaking into a plane?" Abbott yelled.
"I didn't break into a plane. I knocked on the door and the stewardess let me in." Jane answered.
"Nevertheless you broke the law. I can't get you out tonight. You are such a pain in the butt." Abbott responded.
"I'm a useful pain in the butt." Jane quipped.
"Was she on the plane?"Abbott asked knowing he didn't have to say Lisbon's name.
"Yes. I told her what I needed to say." Jane's voice became more serious. "She can decide what she wants."
Abbott did not need to ask what Jane told Lisbon. He knew it already. "Well, Jane, I will see you tomorrow and try to get you out of this mess. Don't misbehave anymore." Abbott finished. Jane handed the phone back to the Officer Jacobs.
"See. I told you I worked for the FBI." Jane announced.
"You do realize that you won't be getting out too easily. You committed a crime. I will let your head agent know. We are going to work on what the best punishment for you. For now, you stay here." Officer Jacobs said getting up from his seat starting to head back to the back office.
"If I'm going to be here all night, can I have a cup of tea, at least. Please!" Jane begged.
"Fine. I will have someone get you some." Officer Jacobs called someone and eventually another officer brought tea in a stryofoam cup for Jane.
"I was so filled with fear and self hatred that I destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. By the time I realized my mistake, she was gone." Ted Randolph's words came back to him. Since then, they were etched in his mind. Jane was too late. She was probably on her way to D.C. to meet Marcus Pike on the other side. Thinking of Pike made made his blood boil. Pike was probably a better man for Teresa. He was stable, had a good job and knew the right words to say. Pike probably grew up with a regular house and family, unlike Jane who had grown up in the carnival learning how to be a conman. It did not change the fact that it killed him seeing Pike with her. He wanted her to be happy. He never wanted to get in her way.
Teresa Lisbon was the best thing that happened to him since his wife and daughter were killed by Red John. Granted, the only reason why he decided to work with the CBI originally was for became a stable force in his life. He knew she was a good cop. She was tough and when she had to be but other times she had her vulnerable side, her compassionate side where she did not go by the book. He remembered the time she had brought the girl to juvenile services and changed her mind at the last minute. The girl had shot her abusive father out of self defense. Jane convinced her that it would not be good if the girl entered the system. She had a aunt who cared for her. That was enough. He knew Lisbon was compassionate for the girl, but yet was conflicted that she had to go by rules. Finally when Jane and Lisbon with the girl arrived at the juvenile detention facility, Lisbon told the girl "Trina, we're going home." "You just witnessed a beautiful thing." He told the officer.
She was always always there for him. She stayed with him as he continued his search for Red John. She had seen all his sides to him including his dark side. She even at times risked her life.
He realized he knew that he was close to Teresa Lisbon even though he feared getting close to somebody Red John was always a threat in his life. He could always talk to her about things he may not tell anybody else.
He thought about Wayne and Grace. For years they were kept apart because of some ridiculous rule. He knew they loved each other. He saw how fiercely Wayne loved Grace during the time she was abducted by Richard Hibach and his sister. He fought hard to get her back and Jane was willing to help him even when nobody else wanted Wayne to be involved since he was overly upset.
There were times where he himself was worried about Lisbon. He was worried to death when Lisbon had the bomb strapped to her and when he when the police found Partridges's body and Teresa laying with the the Red John smile painted with Partridge's blood on her face.
"I was so filled with fear and self hatred..."
Why had he been afraid to tell her what he felt? He had many opportunities, but yet the words never came. Maybe it was because he felt he hated himself. He was not always perfect to her. He thought about the time of their sunset hug. The time he nearly confessed. He started to tell her how much she meant to him. He was not lying then. Red John was still out there. Jane then ran away and left her stranded on the road. He wanted her safe and that was the reason he did it, but in the process he had hurt her. He regretted that night.
He missed her when he was gone on the island for two years, more than he would imagine. That was why he wrote to her, to let her know he was fine. He had wished she was there with him. He knew he needed peace after all the trauma he went through and killing the man that killed his family.
When he found out from Cho, she was moving to D.C. It teared him apart. He did not believe it at first, but Cho said it was true. Why did she not tell him? Why was he the last to know? It was true, he wanted her to be happy but of course that would mean he would be miserable. He needed to do something. He needed to do something about it. He needed to get the courage to say the words he longed to say to Teresa. He wanted one last chance to tell her even though he knew he should have told her sooner. He decided to search the cold case files in the storage room and found the perfect one. It had happened in Miami. He booked the hotel at the Blue Bird Lodge. The perfect romantic destination.
He now knew it was a mistake to use one his tricks but at the time it seemed like a good idea. Now here he was in the TSA interrogation room wondering if his plane confession worked. He felt free after saying. He had been holding it in so long. He needed to say it. He wanted to let her know. He loved Teresa Lisbon. It was the truth. He finally could love again. He just had to wait now.
The sun rose up before he knew it. His night had been sleepless. This was not unusual for him as he spent many sleepless nights hunting Red John. He missed her now. This pain was never going to go away.
The guard sat across from him filling out a form. He looked at Jane. He did not know what the form was. Maybe Abbott was here to bail him out. He probably did not deserve it. The guard came back in his office. Soon he heard the door open. Abbott might be here now. He saw a flash of green briefly but was still looking away. Then he heard her voice.
"Hey" He looked up and Teresa was sitting across from him. He stared at her. She was actually here. She got off the plane.
"Hi" He responded and kept focused on her face.
"This is another fine pickle you've gotten yourself into." Teresa stated. He could not believe she was here.
"Ahh, I've seen worse picklewise." He admitted. This certainly was not the worse trouble he had been in. It was worth it though. All he cared about was her.
"Yes, you have." Teresa stated smiling. Her smile was so beautiful. "How's the ankle?" She then asked noticing his bandaged foot. At this moment he was not concerned with it.
"Oh, it's fine." He admitted. It was better but not of importance. "You didn't go to D.C.."He stated. She came back.
"No." Teresa responded. He kept his eyes on her .
"Did you mean what you said?" She asked. He knew she was talking about last night.
"Yes."
"Good." She said.
"Just to be clear, are we still talking about pickles?" He asked What are you talking about, idiot. Don't joke. This is serious.
"No, the other thing." Teresa corrected. He knew it was last night, his confession of love. She was questioning if he meant what he said.
"Oh, that." He realized. Stop it, Patrick. Be serious, now.
"This is no joking matter." Teresa said seriously.
"Yes. I meant it. Every word of it." He seriously stated. He meant everything. The most important words he could say to her.
"I feel the same way." Teresa admitted. This was the best news. She loved him as well.
"That's lucky." He smiled, but then remembered Pike. Why did he have to remember him? He wanted to make sure and ask.
"He'll understand." Teresa confessed lightly. He was surprised at this. He knew Pike would not understand. Pike did not matter at this moment.
He memorized her face and she looked at him.
"Say it again."
"Say what again?" He asked. He looked at her face and read what she wanted. He got up from his chair and took his hand and placed it carefully under her chin. He could feel her hand on his cheek and brushed his lips against hers. He had wanted to kiss her so long and it now was coming true. He was in the moment. He said "I love you" with the kiss. He did not care about the guard banging on the window. Someday he would have to thank Ted Randolph for helping him come to his senses.
Dark Side
Kelly Clarkson song
There's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
will it make you run away
or will you stay
even if it hurts
even if I try to push you out
will you return?
And remind me who I really am
please remind me who I really am
Everybody's got a dark side
do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it
you know that we're worth it
will you love me?
Even with my dark side
Like a diamond
from black dust
it's hard to know
what can become
if you give up
so don't give up on me
please remind me who I really am
everybody's got a dark side
do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's picture perfect
but we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
will you love me?
Even with my dark side?
Don't run away
Don't run away
just tell me that you will stay
promise me you will stay
don't run away
don't run away
just promise me you will stay
promise me you will stay