Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... now ain't THAT a surprise?

Another story idea... kill me please. -.-

This story is basically crack. Seriously, I started writing it just for fun, to give my readers a good laugh and all that fun jazz. If follows canon as closely as possible for humor only (and might be liable to venture into AU territory every once in a while). The overall plot itself is not to be taken very seriously; however there are plenty of serious moments, character developments, and bonding scenes mixed into the story so be prepared for a roller-coaster story. Have fun and I hope you enjoy!

SHORT NOTICE: So somehow the first chapter got replaced with the prologue for Akatsuki Senpai. I have no clue how or when it happened so I apologize to all readers for confusing you. I probably lost a lot of readers that way so whoops, but no one pointed the mistake out so I had no clue it even happened until I scanned the story on fanfiction (which I do sometimes for this exact reason). Now that my 'short notice' has turned into a paragraph, I'll stop wasting you time and let you continue with the story. Enjoy!

vvv

My mouth dropped open as I regarded my clan leader, "You want me to do what?!" I screeched. Fugaku-sama didn't seem impressed by my breech in conduct. Feeling sheepish under his fierce gaze, I ducked my head. Damn the Uchiha Main Branch and their ability to cower anyone with a look. Usually I was unaffected by glares, being an Uchiha and all, but Fugaku and his family seemed to be the exception to that rule.

"I will not repeat myself." Fugaku-sama stated, crossing his arms and leveling a nasty look at me. Of course he wouldn't. My clan leader may have had a change of heart but he was still an arrogant asshole... not that I'd ever tell him that. I wasn't that insane, not matter what other people said.

Still, my common sense didn't prevent me from keeping my mouth shut; Nii-san always did say that I had no concept of the art. Funny, since it was coming from him, "Well you damn well better repeat yourself, because I thought I heard you say that you want me to babysit your brat!" I snapped. I got extreme satisfaction in seeing Fugaku's eyes widen at my blatant disrespect. Whatever punishment I was about to receive was worth it.

Fugaku-sama's Sharingan flashed, but being an Uchiha gave me some resistance to the intimidation of glowing red eyes. "You will not take that tone with me, Uchiha Yanagi, is that understood?" Fugaku ground out in that stern voice of his. Some deaf idiot might call it fatherly, but I could hear the cold undertone. If I stepped out of line again, I would probably be denounced as an Uchiha, if I was that lucky.

I decided not to push my luck.

I bowed low, "Apologizes, Uchiha-sama, I did not mean to offend." I said in a false humble voice. Fugaku and I both knew that I had meant every word out of my mouth. I wasn't known as blunt and opinionated for nothing. Still, it was all a matter of pride. If I apologized then I would get an explanation from the infuriating man. That was the unspoken rule.

Fugaku made me grovel a moment longer before sighing. "I want you to be a jounin sensei." He stated again. Right off the bat, another sucker-punch. My clan leader didn't believe in sugarcoating words, that much was true.

I bit my lip to keep the retort that was begging to be said in.

"My eldest son's efforts to bring the Uchiha clan closer to the village are starting to fall short." No surprise there, Konohagakure didn't trust the Uchiha clan for whatever absurd reason, and visa-versa. Five years ago the Uchiha clan had planned a coup d'état, I still do not understand the reasoning behind the Uchiha's actions. Luckily for the Uchiha clan, Fugaku's eldest son Itachi, and his friend Shisui, managed to stop the coup d'état before anything happened. Since then, the Uchiha and Konoha have been working hard to make past amends.

And according to Fugaku, those amends weren't doing jack.

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked, struggling hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I was already in hot water as it was. I didn't need to accidentally take a flying leap over the edge. The man gave me a displeased scowl, which I had a suspicion that he was just doing it because he wanted to. Fugaku seemed to be that kind of man.

"The Hokage has recently thought up of a new plan to bring the clan closer to the village. We are to implement our teachings into the new generation that is graduating from the Academy. You are to be the first Uchiha jounin sensei." Was it bad that this village had been around for a long time and I was the first ever Uchiha to be a sensei? I wanted to roll my eyes, but didn't. I could see through that false pride in a heartbeat. And I didn't need my Sharingan to do that.

I sat back, seeing no need to keep bowing like some groveling peasant, and crossed my arms, "I still don't see what this has to do with me. Why not someone else? Itachi-san, perhaps. I'm sure he'd love to teach his younger brother." Okay, the sarcasm was starting to show.

"It is because of Itachi's relation to Sasuke that he is unable to be a jounin sensei." And my relation to Sasuke wasn't? I was his first cousin, damn it! I couldn't help but notice that Fugaku failed to mention why I was the person chosen to be the glorious Uchiha sensei.

Sometimes I think Fugaku should have been named 'weasel' instead of his eldest son.

Before I could open my mouth, Fugaku waved his hand and turned his head away to find something new to occupy his attention, "Go. The class graduates tomorrow, you are to pick your team up the day after. The information packet will be sent to your house." Damn old codger. He just had to change the subject before I could grill him some more. I gave a smart, slightly mocking, bow and marched out of the room. I just hoped that nothing else bad happened.

Apparently it wasn't my lucky day.

"Oof!" I ran smack into a hard body. Damn it, I wanted to get home and be as sarcastic and hateful as I wanted, not playing nice to more pompous Uchiha men! I took a step back and glared up at the person I had run into. I groaned wordlessly when I saw who it was and ground my teeth together so I wouldn't speak.

Shisui gave me an easy smile, "Yanagi..." He acknowledged with an amused tone. His dark eyes darted to the room I had just exited, then back to me, "Have a good argument?" The man asked teasingly. If anyone knew I liked arguing with my betters, it was Shisui. Sometimes I think he was the reason why I argued so much. I glared at him and made to walk past him, but he stepped in my path, "Ah, don't be mean, Yagi... You know I love you." Shisui whined in a playful tone.

I intensified my glare and punched Shisui in the gut. I was the only person allowed to physically hit Uchiha Shisui and get away with it, and I took advantage of my privileges. Like usual, Shisui took the blow with a good-natured chuckle, "Still giving me the silent treatment, eh? Yagi, I think you hold the record for holding grudges."

My jaw worked as I thought about breaking my five year silence towards the goofy Uchiha. His comment did deserve a response, but if I did say something he would only tease me about breaking my silence. I really wanted to slap him for using that stupid childhood name too, we weren't kids anymore; but I doubt Shisui would be very amused with a slap to the face. Hitting yes, slapping... not so much.

I was saved from making the choice when Fugaku-sama called from inside his office, "Shisui!" The old codger barked like the badger he was. Still, he saved me from dealing with the stupid Uchiha before me, so I'd let him off the hook this one time. I gave Shisui a self-satisfied smirk, which he returned with a wink and a mocking little bow, as I dodged around the twenty-three year old man and took off like there was no tomorrow.

Of all the Uchiha, Shisui was probably the one who annoyed me the most, even more so than my brother.

vvv

"YANAGI! Close the damn door!" My brother screeched like an old wife when I walked in the house we lived in. I rolled my eyes and slammed the door shut. I had just walked in and he was acting like I had left the door open for hours, not mere seconds.

"I didn't have the chance before you started yelling at me!" I yelled back as I sat down to take off my sandals. Calmly I put the black shoes neatly on the floor where I could shove my feet in them if I was in a hurry and kicked Nii-san's shoes out of the way. My brother was a slob and he proudly admitted to it. There was a reason why I didn't get along with him, we were too different; we were almost opposite in every way.

Obito cursed and stomped into the living room, his one eye livid, "You're late and I'm hungry. Get in the kitchen!" Nii-san said, half playfully, throwing his head back and pointing a rigid finger towards the kitchen.

"Go shove ramen down your throat. I'm not cooking." I hissed as I started for my room. I wasn't Obito's slave, there was no way I was going to do anything I didn't want to.

Of course Obito wasn't going to have any of that. Before I could get three feet from him, Nii-san had his arms wrapped around my waist and was bodily dragging me to the kitchen. "Food, now! Smartass comments later." He ordered. I made sure to fight him all the way, if Obito was determined to get me to cook, he was going to regret every second of it.

I wondered if Kakashi left that poison around from the last mission...

"I already got rid of the poison. Nice try." Obito said dully as he shoved me through the doorway to the kitchen. I groaned, he knew me too well. "Now do your womanly duties!"

My eyes narrowed as I glared at my brother, "Does that include providing someone with children?" I asked sarcastically. I could predict what Obito would do. He would go into a tirade how no man was to touch me until I was forty, and even then it was to be with a fifty foot pole. My brother was more overprotective than a father would be. No father in their right mind would attempt to order a twenty-one year old jounin around, but Obito did and he somehow got away with it. The only people of the male persuasion who were allowed withing a ten foot radius of me when Nii-san was around was himself and Kakashi, who was basically another brother to me–I only liked him more.

As I predicted, Obito immediately went on defense, "Why, has anyone asked? Cuz I'll skin them alive, castrate them with a rusty kunai, rip their spine out and choke them with it! And in that order!"

I rolled my eyes at my brother's exuberant behavior as I bent down to dig around in the cupboards before I found the pot I wanted. "Alright, Nii-san, don't go on another man hunt. The Hokage said no more."

Obito crossed his arms with a pout, "I didn't hurt that one guy that bad..." He grumbled.

"You put him in the hospital!"

"He's the one who tripped."

"And fell off the roof that you had cornered him on."

"It's his own fault, he shouldn't have tried to run."

My right eye twitched as I turned away and slammed the pot down on the stove, just pretending that the stove was Obito's head and I was bashing it in. My anger still not spent, I went around the kitchen making Miso soup and imagining every ingredient I used was Obito's head. I especially liked it when I was dicing the green onions. My brother was too protective when it came to my romantic life–though, thanks to Obito, my romantic life was practically nonexistent. The man that had fallen off the building during Obito's last man hunt hadn't even been really into me. He was just flirting for the sake of flirting. I could see that in his eyes. But of course my brother didn't bother to think about it. He just charged in without thinking.

And people wondered why I didn't like my brother.

Obito, being the perceptive Uchiha that he was, said, "Stop beating my imaginary head in. Kakashi-baka is coming to dinner."

"And what does Kakashi coming over have to do with me crushing your skull?" I asked testily.

For the first time since I had been home, Obito finally cracked a smile. It wasn't as goofy as it could be, more cynical, "Because Kakashi-baka might try and make it into a reality! You're making Miso soup right?" Miso soup was the only dish that I could make that met Kakashi's snooty taste buds. I swear the man was more picky than Fugaku-sama, who was legendary when it came to being a picky eater.

"I was going to make it anyway. It's easy and fast and you hate it." I snapped playfully. Obito only pouted, which meant he knew I was teasing. If he thought I had been serious we would already be fighting again.

Nii-san reached over and tugged hard on my ponytail, "Watch it brat, or I might handcuff you to Shisui." I shivered at the thought. Being handcuffed to someone I wasn't speaking to wouldn't be fun, especially since they would do everything in their power to make me talk. Obito laughed at my expression of horror, "Why do you hate him anyway?" He asked.

I shot Nii-san a glare, "I don't hate Shisui... he just reminds me of you too much."

Obito gave a sly smile, "So you do hate him." He stated.

"No, I don't. I hate his personality."

"That's the same as hating him."

"Uchiha Obito, do not incur my wrath, it will be the end of you!"

Obito smirked and sang teasingly, "You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!" He barely dodged the ladle I threw at him, considering it was at point blank I was rather impressed by my brother's evading skills. We were too busy glaring at each other now to pay attention to where the ladle went.

"Yo! Is this a bad time?" Kakashi's voice said behind Obito. My eyes widened as I looked over my brother's shoulder at his best friend and old teammate. He was twirling the ladle around his right index finger, his only visible eye closed in an eye-smile. Behind Kakashi, Rin was giggling at the scene before her, her fingers pressed against her lips.

Obito immediately spun around at the sound of Kakashi's voice, his single eye zeroing in on Rin. I sighed, though Obito said he was over Rin I suspected my brother still loved the twit. I never really liked her that much. She was nice and friendly, I admit; but there was no way she could be oblivious to my brother's aberrant affection, not without having to be a nitwit. So either she was stupid for not noticing that Obito loved her, or cruel enough to never dissuade him. I might not like my brother as some siblings did, but I still cared for him on some degree. And I didn't like how Rin treated him throughout their genin days. But for the sake of my brother's feelings, I never voiced my opinions.

This silence was getting awkward as Obito just stared at Rin...

BONG!

"Ouch! Yanagi, what the hell was that for?!" Obito shouted, clutching the back of his head as he turned to glare at me. I smiled sweetly as I could and tossed the dented metal cooking spoon into the trash. Just because I cared for my brother's feelings to a degree didn't mean anything. I was still going to abuse my power as the younger sister.

"Can't I be a pest without any reason?" I asked innocently as I poured four bowls of Miso soup and passed them out among the three former members of Team Minato, keeping one for myself. From the way Nii-san's eye narrowed I knew his answer was 'no I couldn't'. I grinned evilly at him, my brother didn't have a say in what I did anyway. If I wanted to hit him in the back of the head with a metal spoon, I would.

Kakashi sighed at our antics, "You two are idiots." He said dully, the cheerful nature he had been sporting disappearing to be replaced with his true personality. Obito of course started yelling at Kakashi while I just rolled my eyes. I loved to argue, but only when I got a reaction out of people. Kakashi wouldn't react if I lit his clothes on fire.

I listened mildly as the two exchanged insults, Kakashi's were more subtle than Obito's, sipping periodically from my bowl. It was hard to believe that those two men were part of Konoha's elite ninja. They bickered like five year olds. I glanced over at Rin to see her right eye twitching in irritation. Ever since that S-ranked mission years ago during the Third Shinobi War, her personality had gone from timid and sweet to more assertive. My mouth twitched upwards, I could hardly remember the days when Rin unsuccessfully tried to reason with Kakashi and Obito. Now however...

The brown haired woman reached across the table and grabbed both men by their ears, pulling hard, "Would you two behave?!" She snapped when she had their attention. Kakashi jerked his ear from her grasp and glared at her. Obito only whined like the baby he was. Soon all three of them were arguing. I snorted into my bowl. If there was one thing that could be said about my brother and his friends, it was they knew how to keep me entertained.

Just as Obito threw the first kunai–which was a regular occurrence among these three–there was a knock at the door. All four of us stopped what we were doing to look at the door in confusion. It was rare that Obito or I got any visitors, much less ones who actually knocked on the door instead of walking in like they owned the place. After the scandal about Nii-san refusing to take his left sharingan back from Kakashi, the Uchiha clan pretty much isolated Obito and me.

I went to answer the door and was surprised to see a Konoha official, not an Uchiha, standing there looking nervous. I really didn't blame him, Obito and I were known for our short tempers and brash behavior. We weren't exactly typical Uchiha clan members in that sense. Because of our reputation, I saw no need to be polite, "What do you want?" I asked shortly.

The Konoha nin gulped and shoved a moderately thick packet at me, "Meeting is tomorrow at the Hokage's office. Good day, Uchiha-san." The man said quickly then high tailed it out of there.

Obito was on my case the second I closed the door, "What's all that about? Why does the Hokage want you? Speak, imoto!" My brother said his single eye staring intensely at the packet in my hands. I shoved past him, ignoring his questions. If Obito knew that Fugaku-sama was forcing me to be a jounin sensei, I would never hear the end of it.

I forgot about Kakashi.

"You're going to be a jounin sensei?" The white haired nin asked curiously. He recognized the packet, having been almost a jounin sensei himself a couple of occasions. Kakashi always failed the potential genin and went back to being an ANBU captain. He was infamous for failing ever single student. I didn't know why the Hokage continuously tried to make Kakashi a sensei when he clearly didn't want to be one.

That made two of us.

"WHAT?!" Obito screeched and the three of us winced at his tone. I sighed as I tucked the packet under my arm. This was going to be a long day.

^o^

Ta-da! A beautiful story for your enjoyment, though I don't think my writing skills is up to par as it should me. Lately, it's all been kaput. Maybe I need a break...

I'm pretty sure that Obito is OOC, but I don't really care. I see him as the very loud, very protective and annoying older brother...Also I know that in most cases Shisui and Obito are depicted as brothers, but having no firm evidence (and believe me, I LOOKED) to back up the theory, they aren't going to be in this story.

~Reality is for people who lack imagination.

Yanagi's name means 'willow', Shisui's nickname for her, Yagi, means 'goat'. XD

Another thing, this story is from the sensei's Point of View. Yes there will be a few short cuts where I change POVs with someone, but it's rare because I hate writing Canon characters, it's a hassle. -.-

Anyway, Flame Friendly! Go on, leave me a flame, I don't mind! ^^