Top of Form
Itachi & Kisame's super happy not so fun day at Knotts Berry farm!
"Itachi! Itachi!" Kisame hollered happily as he walked through the door of their secret lair that was located conveniently on a cliff by the sea.
"What?" Itachi asked.
"I got us tickets to Knotts Berry Farm!" Kisame answered as happy as ever.
"Knotts whadda farm?" Itachi arched an eyebrow.
"Knotts Berry Farm Itachi!" Kisame put on a horrified face, "don't tell me you've never heard of Knotts Berry Farm!" he gasped.
"I've never heard of Knotts Berry Farm," Itachi said.
"Oh my!" Kisame said.
"Kisame stop acting so dramatic, it makes you look even more moronic," Itachi said as he got up.
"But Itach! We must go! You need to explore the wonders of roller coasters!" Kisame pleaded.
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No!"
"PLEASE?" Kisame begged.
"No. Ask me again and I'll kill you," Itachi growled.
Kisame closed his mouth for he did not want to be brutally slaughtered by his partner. But…being the moron he was he asked ONCE AGAIN!
"Please Itachi I promise you will have the time of your life!" Kisame said hoping to persuade Itachi.
"Will you shut up if I go?" Itachi asked.
"Yes!" Kisame said.
"Okay then," Itachi said.
"Yes!"
"I told you shut up," Itachi glared.
"…"
"That's more like it."
After he was gone Kisame punched the air and shouted, "Yahoo!" because that's the sort of things that evil people do.
Metal Detectors
"This is going to be so much fun!" Kisame said enthusiastically as they waited in the impossibly long line.
Itachi frowned as the lady behind him pushed him rudely in attempt to catch her child who was tugging at his giant over coat. He was trying to decide whether or not he should just kill them barehanded or make them suffer with his sharingan.
"Leave the man alone!" The lady yelled as she grabbed her son, "I'm really sorry about that," she apologized.
"You should be," he snapped back and turned away.
"Ooooooooh! LOOKIE IT'S A SHARK MAN!" the little boy screamed and jumped out of his mother's arms and bounced around in front of Kisame.
"Did you come from Sea world?" he asked Kisame.
"No I didn't, I come from Akatsuki," Kisame answered casually as if it wasn't a evil organization plotting to rule the world.
"Did you come from the circus?" The boy asked again.
"No!" Kisame said as he glanced around to find all the people around him whisper things such as:
"Oh my god it is a shark man! How did the scientists do that?"
Or:
"It's the monster from the black lagoon!"
Itachi would've laughed if he hadn't been Itachi. But alas, he was. So, no laughing for him.
As they strolled through the metal detectors they began to beep.
"Sir, I'm going to need you to take that coat of yours off," the man at the counter said.
"No," Itachi replied back and glared.
"I cannot let you into the park until everything you posses under that coat is checked," the man said flinching under Itachi's gaze.
"Okay good, lets go home Kisame," Itachi turned around and proceeded to walk back.
"No! Itachi please just take off your coat!" Kisame pleaded.
"No."
"Please?"
Itachi sighed he did not want to start that again especially in public so he removed his coat from his body and placed it on the table.
"Thank you sir," the man said as he checked through all the pockets.
Kisame and Itachi tried once again to walk through the metal detectors but much to Itachi's dismay they rang once again making them back track to the man who was checking bags.
"I'm going to need you to take that off," he pointed to Itachi's shuriken bag.
"Why?" Itachi asked frowning.
"I need to make sure you aren't carrying any potentially dangerous weapons into the park," the man said sounding like he had said those lines way too many times.
"Fine," Itachi angrily ripped the bag off his pants and dumped the contents out onto the table.
The mans eyes widened at the shuriken that spilled in front of him, "I-I'm going to have to confiscate these," he looked up to find an extremely angry Itachi.
"I dare you to say that again," Itachi said his voice lowered to a whisper.
"Uh…right…." The man said as he gathered up all the shuriken and shoved them all bag into the bag handing it to Itachi, "Have a nice day sir," he said.
"That's more like it," Itachi said and stomped angrily into the park, but not before setting off the metal detector once again.
"Itachi-sama I don't think that was really necessary, that man would have returned your shuriken at the end of the day," Kisame tried reasoning with Itachi.
"I don't trust these people," Itachi said looking around and glaring at the people who were staring at him and his flower cloak.
Kisame sighed as he opened the map, there was no changing Itachi, "Lets go on ghost rider first," he said pointing at the large wooden roller coaster.
"What in the world is that?" Itachi asked.
"It's called a roller coaster!" Kisame said happily as he started towards the ride, a very grumpy Itachi walked behind him.
"This is going to be so much fun," Kisame said as they waited in yet another line.
Itachi didn't answer; instead he glowered at everybody and everything around him. Could it take any longer to get up the stairs? Itachi was just about to obliterate everybody in his path when some teenager standing in front of them interrupted his train of thought.
"Cool contacts man where'd you get them?"
"What?" Itachi asked.
"Contacts! Don't you know what contacts are?" the boy asked Itachi again.
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Itachi was about to turn around but the guy kept speaking.
"Hah! Get this! That guy doesn't know what contacts are and he's wearing them," he told his friends.
"I'm not wearing contacts," Itachi seethed. Imbecile, doesn't even know the power of the renowned Uchiha clan.
"Yeah right man, nobody has eyes like those," The kid said again.
Like adding gasoline to a fire…
Kisame glanced back and forth between Itachi and the boy that was talking to them, "Itachi calm down the guy just doesn't know what sharingan are," he tried reasoning.
"Maybe I should show him then," Itachi growled.
"No! Please don't!" Kisame yelped.
Itachi decided that the fool in front of him was not even worthy of witnessing the power of the sharingan, so he was just going to use a kunai and stab him to death.
Yes.
That seemed like a good plan.
He pulled out the kunai and held it to the kid's throat.
"Oh my god! That man has a knife!" Some woman screamed as everybody's head snapped towards the odd couple. People started to scream and panic and run around in circles when security appeared.
"Sir I'm going to need you to…" the man who was taking tickets in the morning saw Itachi and trailed off.
"Need me to what?" Itachi asked.
"Um…nothing!" the guy scampered off.
"Itachi-sama! Please just leave the guy alone!" Kisame asked.
But Itachi wasn't about to let him go, he was angry beyond all reason. "If everybody here wants to live they will move either to the left of the right of the stairs," he said and smirked when everybody moved aside quickly.
"That's more like it," he released the boy and tromped up the stairs.
Kisame sighed.
Itachi used this threat about 3 more times before they go to the front of the line.
"Itachi-sama no need for it anymore, we're at the front of the line."
"Hn." Itachi said as he stepped into the cart.
Kisame followed suit and buckled his seat belt, "Get ready to have the time of your life!"
#Insert stars#
Itachi had killed many people due to the fact that he hadn't closed his shuriken pouch secure enough so all of his weapons flew out and struck random people in the parking lot.
Did Itachi care?
Of course not.
He was just mad that he had wasted all of his shuriken on random people.
They were now standing on the Paradise Pier watching the "victims", as Itachi called him go on the enormous water ride. "Why do they bother to go on it when they are going to get wet?" Itachi asked.
"It's fun!" Kisame answered back happily.
"I don't see what's so fun about getting completely soaked," Itachi said. But when he got no answer he looked up to see a giant wave of white water threatening to engulf him.
Everyone else was running away screaming.
But there stood Itachi.
Crash.
There stood a very very very very grumpy Itachi.
"Itachi-sama…are you okay?" Kisame asked as he poked his soaking wet partner.
"They…all…must…DIE!" Itachi yelled as he grabbed for his shuriken only to find that they were missing. He cursed as he stomped away.
"Lets go to camp snoopy!" Kisame said as he skipped off.
It was there that they found Snoopy walking around and taking pictures with people. And Snoopy, being Snoopy, noticed an unusually unhappy camper, named Itachi.
"Why hello there young man!" Snoopy said happily as he walked over to Itachi.
"What the hell do you want?" Itachi glared at the obese white dog standing in front of him.
"I think somebody needs a hug," Snoopy said.
"No I don't," Itachi said.
But Snoopy didn't listen, even though he should of because it was clear that Itachi didn't like hugs, and that he was obviously man pmsing.
Snoopy grabbed Itachi and pulled him into a hug.
When Itachi was released he was in shock.
"There! All better!" Snoopy exclaimed happily.
"Uh oh…" Kisame said as he backed away.
"Are you alright young man?" Snoopy asked Itachi.
"Die!" Itachi lunged at Snoopy activating his Sharingan.
"AUGH!" Snoopy screamed in agony as he collapsed to the ground, he squirming and shrieking. After a few minutes of looking like he was having a seizure he suddenly stilled.
The crowd around them gasped.
"OH MY GOD YOU KILLED SNOOPY!" Some man screamed as everybody started screaming, causing, yet again, a riot.
"Itachi-sama, lets go home," Kisame said as his day was ruined.
"Yes, lets," Itachi said triumphantly.