The Lost Yamanaka

Disclaimer: Naruto is the legal property of Masashi Kishimoto. The only things I own are what my parents choose to bequeath upon me and my O.Cs.

Chapter One: A Little Deceit Among Ninjas

The Third Hokage looked on at the mess.

He his eyes closed willing the disturbing sight in front of him to go away. How had things gotten so out of hand, all was well with his village just a few hours ago. Opening his eyes again he peered out into the gloom of the early morning surveying the desolation that was this particular battle field. Battle field? No, a slaughter field. It had ended of course, the massacre, otherwise he would not be standing here with the luxury of still being alive. Part of him had wished, still wished, that he didn't have to be here, that Minato could be standing here instead and looking on at the carnage and desperately thinking of what to do. Minato. Stupid, reckless, stubborn fool of a hero Minato. Sacrificing not only his life but his very soul, -his soul- to stop the monstrosity that was Kyuubi. That didn't however reverse the damages to the area surrounding the village, but it did stop it from reaching the village itself.

The Sandaime's gaze turned away from the battle field and onto the baby boy in his arms. Tufts of blond hair, round blue eyes and animal like whisker marks were his most defining feature, that, and he looked painstakingly like the Fourth. A now invisible seal centered on his stomach was all the sign of the monster that was sealed within.

Minato had wanted his son to be known as a hero, and the Third wished with all his heart that he could make that happen, but something held him back. The Sandaime Hokage had held office for many years, much longer than Minato's brief reign. With that experience he had gained knowledge of the mob mentality of Konoha's residents. Introducing the child as the Fourths legacy in more ways than one would doom the child to a fate similar to that of his traitorous students apprentice – Anko.

Anko had been such a polite, smart ninja, a real child prodigy. Konoha had been most kind to her before his students defection, all smiles and approving nods, known as a genius to rival that Hatake kid, it was part of the reason that Orochimaru picked her, that and she had a thirst for power. She had desperately wanted to prove that she could be a great Kunoichi just like his team mate Tsunade. The Third remembered what promise she had had. It all changed however after Orochimaru's fall from grace, she was spurned as a traitor in waiting, the snake-whore, the coldblooded-bitch. From then on she was the village pariah, someone not to be associated with at all costs. At first she had been severely crushed, and in many ways she still was, but she pulled together and her attitude did a whole one hundred and eighty.

How could the Third in good conscience subject the child in his arms to live that sort of life? No, there had to be another solution, preferably one that didn't disclose to the village just what Minato's kinjutsu entailed. Could he pass him of as just another war orphan, there was sadly quite enough war orphans in which to make that feasible. He looked guilty down at the child, being an orphan was no way to start life and he pitied all those who were forced to lead it. He thought briefly on Iruka who had somehow gotten away from his academy teachers who were preparing to evacuate the village during the attack. In an apparent bid of desperation he had run to the battlefield only to be taken away again screaming for his parents. The Hokage couldn't make sure all those children had homes but he could do at least that much for the child of Minato. Perhaps then, he would only tell the populace about the child's heritage, there would be many willing to adopt the child of their savior. He grimaced, the Iwa-Konoha war hadn't been that long ago, there would be many out for vengeance. The blood of the son of the Yellow Flash would be well sought after. It wouldn't do for the child to be an assassin's target for the rest of his life. Who could he trust to adopt him without spilling the secret, well lots of people, who could he trust to adopt him without hating the child for his new tenant, fewer. Jiraiya? Tsunade? Both were unsuitable parents and both were away from the village for extended periods of time. If only the child had some family left in which he could entrust him to.

A third option came to mind and the Sandaime hesitated for a few seconds before choosing it, lots of paperwork was nothing to be looked down on after all. The new plan would require subterfuge, forgery, and taking advantage of the recently dead. Hardly a B-rank mission. He would have to work fast though, there wasn't much time.

For the first time it what felt like years but was probably little over a day, the Sandaime Hokage smiled a genuine smile. Then he grinned and looked down at the babe in his arms and rufled the blond tufts on it's head. "Well, with your hair you'll fit in just fine."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yamanaka Kisuke was just a little eccentric. He wasn't quite a ninja, he had failed his academy exam mostly because of his Nara like qualities. Unlike a Nara, however he didn't settle for calling the test 'troublesome' and moving on, he declared it 'troublesome' and refused to do it. That left plenty of eyes twitching in annoyance. His older brother had nearly died of shame, but got over it quickly as he and his wife didn't really associate with anyone, going to the trouble to get permission from the Hokage to genjutsu his home to keep his solitude. Kisuke – ignoring his brothers plight- (and still associated with the other Yamanakas) had then happily gone and apprenticed himself to an apothecary where he become quite content with brewing poisons and antidotes of brilliant quality. When the Iwa-Leaf war rolled around however he become displeased with the amount of orders on substances that 'restricted his creativity', nobody wanted to go to a battlefield with an untested product in their pouches. So he had taken a leaf out of his brothers book, 'retired' at a very young age and went to live outside Konoha with the considerable amount of ryo that he had earned from selling poison during the war. Sadly wars were great for business. He then catered for only those who were willing to get past his Forest of Doom (inspired by the Forest of Death - only with more traps – he was eccentric after all) and spent most of his time in secludedness, his one on one time with his creations only periodically broken up with visits by his relatives who 'cheated' and flew in on summons thus avoiding his traps. His brother who avoided him on principle, sent special flowers that only grew inside the village and in return Kisuke would send back noxious cocktails for use in his job.

When Kisuke had heard of his brother's and his brother's wife's death, he was immediately stricken with grief, he had after all loved his brother and by extension his brother's wife. He belatedly wished he had visited more often and truly hoped their deaths had been swift. He had locked up all his concoctions (a sign of how serious this was), donned the appropriate mourning garb and trekked back to Konoha for the funeral with the rest of the Yamanaka clan.

The funeral was held in front of the Hokage tower, without their bodies, (which had been lost to a battlefield pyre after the attack) had a big picture of the Yondaime, who had apparently died in the last attack and it was held along with all the other funerals for ninjas who had been lost. It was a solemn affair with a lot of pretty speeches about 'sacrifice' and 'love for the village' (Inoichi – Kisuke's cousin, being head of clan said the speech for the fallen Yamanakas.) There was plenty of quiet murmuring and condolences afterwards when the gathering were permitted to lay down blossoms next to the picture of their departed.

It was then that Yamanaka Kisuke's little bit of eccentricity shone through, for when he turned up he had in his arms a wreath of poisonous flowers; deadly nightshade, monkshood, jimpson weed and a host of other 'lovely' blooms. He got away with it as it was only a bit eccentric and could be explained away easily enough as a Yamanaka's penchant for flowers and his brothers avid use of malignant cocktails. That didn't change the fact that nobody would shake his hands afterwards until he had washed them, and then only if he approached them first. So when he was approached by a young woman who he obviously didn't know, he was a little surprised.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?" Kisuke asked, eying the woman critically from across the bench. She had a plain doughy face which was likely to be forgotten very quickly. After approaching him (which had drawn a lot of stares) she had asked him to move over to a bench a bit away from the funeral.

"My name is Ichihara Yuuko, I work at the Konoha Shinobi Orphanage, and well this boy," She gave him a picture of a baby with what could have been Yamanaka hair, wide blue eyes and strangely enough whisker marks on it's cheeks. "This child was recovered from the nursery in your brothers house. We believe that this is your nephew Yamanaka Naruto."

Kisuke blinked. "My brothers child?"

"Yes." She nodded, eying him for his reaction.

Kisuke may have failed his genin exam, but it was not from lack of skill, okay he pretty much sucked at anything to do with fighting, (not being comfortable with getting hit at) but he had been promising with basic interrogation. Keeping his composure he plastered his features with sudden understanding.

"Ah, of course, grief must of clouded my memory for a bit. I hadn't seen my brother in years, I seclude myself you know." he half-lied, " My brother did mention a child in one of his last messages."

She scowled. "Liar. You and your brother haven't talked in years. You merely send packages back and forth. It's my job to do research on next of kin."

"Oh." He paused. "Did you attend Academy?"

"No, why?"

"Your very thorough for just a background check. Don't the authorities normally just deposit the child and move on, especially now of all times."

The woman shifted. "It was done by order of the Hokage."

"The Third was re-instated?"

"Yes, and he specially wanted this child to go to his nearest relative."

Kisuke 'hrmned'. "I live a bit away from the village."

"But you're visited by your relatives frequently enough. Enough to make sure that the child is okay."

"And far enough away that my brother's child will not be... disturbed?"

"Well, I can only really guess. But if you do choose to adopt your nephew, you are to be presented with a package."

"A package?"

"For your eyes only. I don't really know. Sorry."

Kisuke looked again at the picture. 'My brother's son, huh?' He knew that the circumstances were amazingly fishy. Who would leave their child alone in a nursery and then go attack a nine-tailed biju? Perhaps they thought he was safe with all the permanent genjutsu on the house, but that didn't sound like what a mother would do. Why did the Third specifically want his nephew to be in a safe place? Why the special treatment? And what was up with the package? The apothecary sighed. Those questions could wait until after he formally adopted the boy, mystery or no mystery that child was the one of last remaining connections to his late brother. How could he give that up?

"What was my nephew's name again?"

Ichihara Yuuko smiled, "Naruto. Yamanaka Naruto"

(A.N Woohoo! Does a happy jig This as you may or may not know is my first ever fanfic, okay I may have made other fanfics but they were all crappity so I didn't submit them. Just knowing that I finally took the plunge makes me feel all jittery and nervous, but I won't ask to spared flames could that would make me feel wimpy and pathetic. On that note ANY questions, comments, queries are all welcome!

Heres some interesting information concerning this AU.

Naruto's personality will be all skewed as an effect of AU. Since he grows up with a family I'd say that he no longer feels the need to be so ... loud. He'll still love orange ('cause orange means poisonous in the animal world – Kisuke's influence) but he won't wear it so much. I warn you now that Naruto will be a tad vain, this is mostly due to a certain 'second cousin' who happens to chase after Sasuke. So he may be overly concerned with his appearance. ANYTIME Naruto wants to eat something he will always test it for poisons, and he will probably drink from a hip flask.(like Mad-Eye Moody) Naruto will have learnt through experience that CONSTANT VIGILANCE is proper, at least when it comes to food. (also like Moody)

Naruto will live with Kisuke till the last year of Academy, in which he will enroll and live on his own. This is mainly because Naruto wants to see the outside world (Konoha) and Kisuke doesn't. His interactions with people before then will mostly likely be limited to that of the Yamanakas and maybe the Naras and the Akimichis since their families are close.

Any sort of pranks he plays will most likely involve A. an annoying chemical substance, or B. traps. This is because Kisuke will no doubt tutor Naruto in the fine art of Moste Ponte Potions ("borrowed" that from Harry Potter) and Naruto will grow up in Kisuke's place – smack bang in the middle of the Forrest of Doom. Since Naruto is not actually a Yamanaka, he'll have trouble with the family jutsu, so he won't be taking over other peoples bodies anytime soon. He may find however (with the help of a certain second cousin...) that charming people with a bit of good looks and a mild compulsion charm will take him a long ways. He still keeps his amazing stamina, endurance and healing abilities because he still has the Kyuubi.

I'm not going to even attempt to try romance, (well they are, what, twelve? ) but I might go for the crush stuff where its like romance 'cept instead of dates and make-out sessions its more like glances and blushes. As for which way Naruto is going to be sexually inclined (in the 'oooh that persons cute' sense), I at least intend for him to pretend he's bisexual. Whether he actually is bisexual, just pretends to be bisexual but is really heterosexual, just pretends to bisexual but is really homosexual is totally up to my beloved readers, while you review please vote.

As for plot, I'm still as of yet undecided whether or not we get to see the the wave arc or not but I'm sure no matter what team Naruto is on we will get the chunin exams, because the chunin exams rock. Nuff said.

Ichihara Yuuko is an assumed name of course. (It was the Sandaime in disguise, duh)

Just before I forget, do you think 'The Lost Yamanaka' is an okay title? I'm sure there is something more appropriate but I felt that TLY just sounded cooler.

I believe that is all I have to say. Remember: questions, comments, queries! Ja ne.)