Chapter 1 What's She Doing Now
Disclaimer: I do not lay claim to any of the characters as seen in CSI Miami, and my fic is written to be fun and enjoyable and not meant to offend the writers/creators of CSI Miami or the actors who play the different characters. I do ask that no one use my original character as she is my own creation. My fic is not to be posted anywhere else unless written permission is obtained from me.
Acknowledgements: I'd like to thank my collaborator, Flora Belle Jardiniere, for all the help they've given me during the draft process of this piece of fiction. She contributed both encouragement and content when I was stuck.
Author's Note - the Dolphin is known to represent family, togetherness, and happiness as well as freedom, playfulness, peace and love.
"Horatio," Frank addressed his long time friend, "we got a bead on some drug smuggling that might be going on."
The red-haired Lieutenant stood quietly looking outside the window of his office.
"What do you require of my Team, Frank?" he asked without turning around.
"Thought you could use some of them fancy smancy gizmos of yours to help us track the movements of these folks."
"Are there any active crime scenes?"
"None yet, but I am sure there will be. If this turns into a new faction of the Mala Noche, I'd rather be ahead of the game."
"What kind of information do you have?" Horatio asked, again keeping his back to his friend.
"All we got is Yelina's info that the drugs might be distributed by way of Miami SeaQuarium. Yelina thinks she tracked one dealer to a dolphin trainer there," Frank paused as he opened his file folder, "a guy named Sam Waterson."
"Any priors on Mr. Waterson?"
"None. Squeaky clean at this stage. Yelina's doing a background check as we speak."
"Whom is he dealing with?"
"The guy's name is Salvadore Guadalupe – he's Columbian with a rap sheet a mile long of assorted minor charges. He was just released from jail after doing ten on drug possession and possession with intent to sell."
"He's moving up the ladder."
"Yelina can't figure out just yet who is actually supplying or who the king pin might be."
Horatio groaned deeply. The idea of the rise of the Mala Noche again sent a chill up his spine. Worse yet, his hands were tied. The latest round of budget cuts really hurt the functioning of the lab, and Rick Stetler was up to his old tricks looking for any way to hold Horatio down. The Lieutenant needed more than just suspicion to be able to send his team out. Unfortunately, that meant having to wait for someone to get hurt – or worse – to die activating a crime scene investigation and satisfying proper use of lab time. Horatio couldn't give Rick Stetler anything less than that or face IAB issues, and after all that the Lieutenant went through just to return to work after the mess with Ron Saris, he wasn't about to travel that road at the moment.
"Frank, I wish we could help, but unless you have an active crime scene or some evidence we can work with, we are not allowed to go out on wild goose chases."
"Gotta love Stetler. I thought we all were battin' for the same team."
"We are. Rick, unfortunately, has his job to do." Horatio paused for a moment. "If Yelina's on the case, she's your best avenue. I'll do what I can to analyze what Yelina finds."
"I'll keep you in the loop with whatever my squad turns up – see if we don't come up with any additional connections with pending cases."
"Keep me posted."
The tall Texan could hear the tension in Horatio's voice and knew the man was obviously on edge. Worse yet, he seemed as if his attention was drifting elsewhere. Frank blamed it on the continuing recovery from the emotional hell the Lieutenant suffered over the last several years. With everything he had been through, Frank certainly understood the minor breakdown his colleague suffered after the Ron Saris ammunitions case that got the redhead shot and had the man's son in danger. So much had happened that Frank realized that even his normally level-headed intelligent take-everything-in-stride friend suffered from overload. Yet, despite it all, Horatio had demonstrated he was able to get back on the proverbial horse and re-established himself as an ace crime fighter. In fact, right after his return to work, he solved six tough cases with great ease and still was fit as ever and no slouch when it came to foot pursuit. His intellect and ability to work a case from start to finish in record time hadn't suffered any downfall.
Horatio continued to keep his back to his friend without turning going against the normalcy of facing those he addressed. It was blatantly obvious to Frank that something was troubling the Lieutenant and not allowing him to give his friend his full attention.
"Rick Stetler is an ass and needs to be taken out back and given a good pistol-whipping."
"Frank, I wouldn't say that too loud."
"Aw, hell, Horatio. You and I both know he's been riding your coat tails taking advantage of your situation. I wish the guy would get a life and let us do some good old-fashioned police work instead of counting the damn numbers and pushin' pencils."
Horatio remained quiet. Frank knew his old pal all too well. Something else was bothering the tall redhead – something other than the job and Rick Stetler – something weighing very heavy on the Lieutenant's mind that seemed to pull his attention away. Horatio continued with his weekly sessions with the staff psychologist but was growing restless with the intended goals at this point. He just wanted to be done and get on with his life as a cop and a crime scene investigator – to hunt down those who hurt the good citizens of his city.
But, he had no choice as far as Rick Stetler was concerned. Rick pushed the Lieutenant leaving him no other option to satisfy the requirements of the stipulations put into effect regarding his full reinstatement – if he wanted to keep his job. To make matters worse, Stetler made sure the Lieutenant – and everyone within the precinct – knew that if Caine showed any signs of an inability to follow procedure that he would be relieved of duty for fear of the jeopardy he could put all the staff in. To Caine's team, it was ridiculous. Unfortunately, it left the Chief in a precarious position having to abide by Stetler's requirements.
Horatio was annoyed with Stetler's assumption that Caine had completely lost control, when in fact he capitalized on a situation that deemed him otherwise dead. It was a ploy that worked like a charm, no thanks to Caine's immense volume of expertise, determination, and experience. Horatio got the 'bad guy' in a rather unorthodox manner, all due to personal connections to the case – namely, his son, Kyle – but in the end, Ron Saris was neutralized and the ammunitions ring destroyed. To Stetler, it didn't matter. All he cared about was seeing his nemesis fall hard – to show how Caine tweaked the system in his favor – and this allowed him the opportunity to put Caine under the microscope and keep him there indefinitely.
"Um, Horatio - I gotta ask, but are you still pining over that Sara broad?"
Horatio just barely turned his head while lifting an eyebrow as he tuned in to his friend's direct question. Analyzing Caine's stance and silence, Frank knew his question struck a nerve.
"Damn it, Horatio! I thought I told you to get over her if you ain't gonna call 'er."
"Yeah, I know."
"Well, move on, man! You know single women are a dime a dozen down here. You still got the goods – go find another one."
Frank's voice was stern as he strongly scolded the Lieutenant. Horatio wanted to turn and give Frank a piece of his mind.
"Horatio, you got enough hanging over yer head with Stetler breathing down your neck. I'd focus on that and quit worryin' about some female – one who namely is no longer living in Miami."
If Frank only realized Sara wasn't just 'some female' to Horatio. Frank's strong Texas accent added flare to the sting to his stiff harsh words biting Horatio where it hurt most. But, despite the harshness, Frank's heart was in the right place hoping to spur the redhead into realizing it was time to move forward. The normally private Lieutenant had done the unspeakable last week when he and Frank went to the local hangout to scarf down hamburgers and beers. It took only two bottles of Sam Adams to loosen up the Lieutenant to spill his guts about how much he missed Sara. Of course, the Texan strongly bit into Horatio then. Frank had no patience to hear of his friend's preoccupation with a woman. Poor Horatio couldn't get her out of his mind nor could he find the nerve to call her, and Frank made sure Horatio knew his point of view on the matter – drop her like yesterday's trash and find another. What Frank didn't realize was that it was early May and a full year from the time Horatio had first met the lady and how she rocked his world in ways he thoroughly didn't discover until now.
Maybe this latest walk down memory lane was spurred on as the Lieutenant's life was somewhat back to normal – professionally speaking. In years past, Horatio would have been completely satisfied with that. However, something was missing – an emptiness he could only equate to the loss of someone of great importance to him – and he had lost many over the years to recognize the feeling. The emptiness hit him square in the jaw last week when he walked down the hall passing by the DNA lab. Seeing Maxine Valera hard at work on the stack of new cases reminded him of the days when Sara was employed there – she kicked butt ripping through the case load with ease through her efficiency. Maxine was always considered a 'miracle worker,' but in combination with Sara – they were an unstoppable and effective team. Yet, Sara knocked horns several times with the Lieutenant – and through all the posturing, Horatio found himself falling in love with her. She was full of moxie – strong, unrelenting – passionate about her work and about life – he loved being around her for she had some power to lift his spirits when he was feeling down or stressed. She knew how to make him laugh so hard and in ways he never thought possible. Horatio loved her tenacity and passion for her work, as she was so much like him allowing the red-haired cop to easily relate to her. It was her love of life, her playfulness, and compassion that sparked deep interest on Horatio's part – and she never knew how she affected him – he never told her.
This particular day, Horatio was really feeling depressed missing the lady. He had confessed to the staff psychologist how much he loved this lady, and Frank had enough information to last weeks in water cooler gossip. Horatio was a smart man but brutally shy at times and, as much as his heart ached for her, he couldn't muster up the strength to call her. Now, she no longer resided in Miami having taken herself back up north to continue with her life and her work.
Last time I saw her it was turnin' colder
But that was years ago
Last I heard she had moved to Boulder
But where she's now I don't know
But there's somethin' 'bout this time of year
That spins my head around
Takes me back makes me wonder
What she's doin' now
'Cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apart
Fillin' up my mind and emptyin' my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' now
Just for laughs I dialed her old number
But no one knew her name
Hung up the phone sat there and wondered
If she'd ever done the same
I took a walk in the evenin' wind
To clear my head somehow
But tonight I lie here thinkin'
What she doin' now
'Cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apart
Fillin' up my mind and emptying my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows
What she's doin' now is tearin' me apart
Fillin' up my mind and emptying my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' now
Horatio went outside hoping a breath of fresh air would help him clear his mind. As he peered aimlessly into the yard, his fingers played with the arms of his sunglasses as he recalled a Garth Brooks song he heard yesterday on the radio. The lyrics really struck a chord in him as his mind drifted into a jumbled mess of thoughts – visions of the lady he wished he had made his sweetheart were running amok tormenting him with a constant reminder of his being alone. His chest tightened as sadness gripped his heart. The eternal intellectual, Horatio tried to wrap his fingers around the reasons behind his fall. One of two things happened - she stole his heart like a thief in the night or, most likely, he readily handed it to that lady pirate. Work was always his number one priority with relationships taking second fiddle many times, despite the fact that he would put his heart and soul into them. He led a lonely hero's life – dedicated to finding the truth and maintaining justice in his city by being Miami's great protector.
Where was she now? What might she be doing? Was she kicking ass and raising hell on behalf of the non-human inhabitants she stood up for, just as he stood up for the victims of crime? The worst of his thoughts revolved around the idea of whether or not she might have found someone special to share her life with. Several months had passed and life had a funny way of tossing things at people when they least expected it. Horatio had this lady dropped into his lap when she bore witness to murder. Over the course of events, he found himself enjoying being around her and now he thoroughly regretted not telling her how much she meant to him having completely fallen head over heels in love with her. He wanted to be the one – her only guy – hoping she'd love him enough to trust her heart, body, and soul to him. He knew he'd do right by her – love her as she deserved to be loved. Caine wanted to protect her – to swear his life to her. But, the storm of events demanded his full attention – there was no time for a relationship – let alone having the IAB rules hanging over his head. The best he was able to do was maintain a friendly distance.
He had tried to tell himself that she was better off without him. She would always be in danger from his enemies, and he wouldn't bare it if something happened to her too. Sara had too much to give the world, to her work, or to a good man. He would never forgive himself if someone took her life on account of her affiliations with him. Horatio told himself he had set her free and that was the reason that kept him from making that phone call. Yet, he knew he was kidding himself and was the fool for just letting her go. His life was empty without her. Yelina had tried a few times to make him call her at least to find out where he might stand in the grand scheme of things, and he refused.
But, he wasn't sure if he was ready to hear she had moved on, especially now that his feelings for her were riding high again. The slight chill in the springtime air made him think of how he met her in the Glades just a year ago – how events almost took her life – and how those events allowed him an opportunity to hold her close. He could still envision her sitting in Eric's Hummer bleeding profusely from a gaping wound having run for her life. If it weren't for her photographic skills and her determination and stubbornness to help, he wouldn't have had the evidence needed to bring in the Vargas Brothers for murder nor to put him on the trail of Ron Saris. If he had it his way, she'd be there now by his side where he'd romance her in ways only he could.
To add salt to a gaping wound, Caine was attempting to cope with distance his son was maintaining. The previously strained relationship really went south after the Saris mess, and the boy, now seventeen and getting ready to go on summer holiday before becoming a senior in high school, couldn't forgive his father for the turn of events that caused his mother, Julia Winston, to abandon him – again. He blamed everything on Horatio. Yelina put a roof over the boy's head having taken him in as legal guardian while Horatio attempted to sort things out with the boy. Caine wanted to file for legal custody but opted to let Yelina be the boy's caregiver until he was able to get through to him and re-establish a relationship. Somehow, the court saw fit to award foster care rights to Yelina even though she was not a blood relation to Kyle. And this was just another situation that Stetler made note of and kept tucked under his hat. He really felt Caine would do anything to twist the legal system in his favor instead of seeing how Caine preferred to do what was in the best interest of parties involved. With Kyle, he was sacrificing being a real father to a son he previously knew nothing of. Yelina kept Horatio thinking positive hoping in time when the wounds were not so fresh that the boy would want to talk more thoroughly to his father. In the meantime, Horatio's visits were strained if they happened at all. Yelina continued to encourage Horatio to keep trying to chip away at the boy's fears and anger a little at a time. And she did her best to support Kyle emotionally while attempting to persuade the boy to spend time with Horatio and at least give him a chance to get to know him better. Kyle was stubborn at best and there were times he'd hang around and engage in meaningless small talk with his father or he'd run off to the beach and avoid Horatio all together. Yelina knew it would be slow going, but it was better than nothing at all. Way too much had happened to just hop in full throttle.
Right now, Horatio wished he could make it all better – that Kyle would forgive him and to have Sara in his life again. Reality hit him hard that he had fallen to pieces over that lady. But, the Lieutenant was too proud – or just plain stupid and scared – to pick up the phone.