Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Green Day
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me, and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one, and I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and every thing's all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone
I walk…
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi there! This has been a long time in the making… almost a year. I will tell you, I am almost as nervous about this one as I was my first. Please, drop me a quick line to let me know what you think. While this story is actually completely finished and ready for posting, that's not to say I wouldn't possibly alter things a bit in the process if the idea enhanced the story. I only ask that reviews remain positively constructive. I have also decided to add kind of a theme song for each chapter… just for fun. I listened to these songs while writing this. They just SCREAMED "CALLEN!" LOL Well, let's get started, shall we?
DISCLAIMER: I am afraid I do not own the character's of NCIS LA... I wish... but for now, I just get to play around with their lives for a little while.
The holidays were behind them and the team had returned to the OSP from their vacations. Though he remained in contact with the team, Sam had made no move to return to his job as lead field agent… and while Callen had made it known that he was back in LA, there had been no further contact since their Christmas sighting.
Eric had even agreed to do a search for him but Callen remained as elusive as ever.
"What's he playing at?" Sam asked Hetty during a regular check-in he had agreed to prior to taking his leave.
"Your guess is as good as mine, Sam… but he wanted us to know he was back and if I were to hazard a guess, it wasn't simply to reconnect. Suffice it to say, we will know no sooner than he decides to share with us." Hetty replied with an ache in her heart. There was a storm brewing and she was at the center of it… of that she had no doubt.
For years she had avoided Callen's queries into his past by saying it was for his own safety and indeed it was but it was an excuse that held little weight now. She had told blatant lies. Now, though, she feared the day was fast approaching when she would be forced to reveal the truth because, as it turned out, she wasn't the only one who had a, "to be opened upon my death" envelope. Owen Granger had beaten her to the draw.
Hetty sighed as she poured another cup of Licorice Mint tea. The only question was, when would he come demanding those answers? When he did, would she lose the one person who meant the world to her, forever?
After leaving the OSP that night, Callen had found himself a room to rent. He wouldn't stay long. It was just a place to stay for the holidays. They knew he was back and all bets were off the moment he stepped through those doors of the OSP. He had no doubt Hetty was all over Eric to find him. Let them play their games. Right now, he needed to figure a few things out. He needed to get to the bottom of Granger's letter.
In the meantime, Gibbs was more than frustrated with his lack of communication. Vance was pushing for an answer regarding his return and Blackguard was calling him daily, wanting him to resume his missions for them.
Deciding he only had answers to please one of the three, he made the call.
"So, where the hell have you been, Callen?" Gibbs growled upon answering the phone.
"Missed you too, Gibbs." Callen smirked knowing it would just anger his friend more than he already was.
"Damn it, Callen! People have been worried about you!"
He thought a moment before answering this time. "People? Can't be that many. Vance and Blackguard merely want my services. That doesn't much leave many others… besides you and Abby and for that, I do apologize. I took the scenic route back in an attempt to clear my head and figure a few things out."
"Scenic route… clear your head. What, exactly, have you been doing for the past three months if you weren't clearing your head and figuring things out?!" Gibbs threw back, thoroughly frustrated with his friend.
"Complicated" Callen replied.
"What's complicated? What have you been into now?" Gibbs asked. Upon hearing the release of a frustrated sigh on the other end of the call, he lowered his voice in response, "What's going on Callen?"
"I'm trying to figure out my next move. I found out a few things that have made the decision that much more difficult. As I said, complicated."
"What things?" Gibbs knew if it sent Callen packing, it wasn't good and most likely involved Henrietta Lange, "I had hoped maybe the issues with your team had begun to resolve."
"Not my team, Gibbs" Callen retorted. He could almost see his friend's eyeroll, "I still don't trust them but they are the least of my problems."
"Callen… what the hell is going on there?" Gibbs repeated.
He debated just cutting the call short but he knew that would not sit well with the man. He would be on the first plane out with Leon Vance's blessing. With a sigh, he made the decision to share with Gibbs what he knew…
"So, they have known who you were all along? Your name?!"
"Yes, as well as the fact that they'd all known each other. All this time… pretending. They lied to me! They looked me in the eye, they worked with me all these years… they made me believe in their friendship and all the while they were lying to me!" Callen growled, "the sad thing is, I didn't see it. She had me so distracted with the team and the job that I completely missed it!"
"Why though?" Gibbs asked, completely taken back.
"Why does Hetty do anything?" Callen stated.
Gibbs could hear the hurt and disappointment in his voice. He could understand the anger and resentment that he knew Callen had to be battling with. Perhaps he and Hetty needed to have another chat.
For as long as he had known Callen, the kid had never seemed to catch a break. Every partner he had either turned out bad and burned him or asked for a new partner because they weren't able to connect with him. The Blackguard always seemed to be after him. There wasn't an agency out there that didn't want him for his undercover abilities and he got burned every time. One jaunt with the CIA was about his undoing. Finally, he landed with NCIS and that all seemed to change. He thought maybe this was it. When he had come to LA to work a case with Lara Macy and Callen, he had been pleased to find Callen somewhat settled and in his own words, 'borderline content'. Shortly after that conversation, Callen was nearly killed by five bullets in a drive by shooting on the streets of Venice Beach.
It all started a slow decline. A decline that placed them where they were today. His friend was so far removed from the happy, almost content, individual of that day in the park.
"So, what do you plan to do about it?"
"Undecided. How can I trust anything she says or any of them for that matter?" Callen asked.
"Well, you better figure it out. Time is ticking. None of us are getting any younger. You planning on going back to work any time soon?"
"Haven't decided. Blackguard has several cases they want me to handle." Callen stated blandly.
"Are you kidding me? Callen, you nearly died on their watch!" Gibbs yelled into the phone.
"I've nearly died on the watch of every agency I've worked for. It goes with the territory." Callen replied calmly.
"Some more than others…" Gibbs said with a chuckle before growing serious once more. "I don't like it, Callen. Look, you want answers then you need to stick around there."
"Let me get this straight, you're suggesting I go back to work there? Jethro, how do I work with people I don't trust?"
"You don't trust anyone, Callen."
Everything went silent… neither sure what to say when Callen finally answered softly, "Exactly."