I do not own Harry Potter or anything of the sorts. This had to be written because it breaks my heart to know that McGonagall never got a letter like this from Lily and James. *cries*
In case you can't figure it out, Lily's is the normal writing and the italics is what James added to the letter.
If I receive a good response for this, I'll write McGonagall's letter back to them.
Dear Professor McGonagall, Hey Minnie! How are you?
My husband and I are just writing to check up on how our son is doing at Hogwarts. He wrote us at the beginning of the year to tell us that he was sorted into Gryffindor, and we were very pleased to hear this bit of news. Damn straight we were! It would have been shameful for him to be sorted anywhere else! But other than that, we haven't heard much from him, which is expected, since the beginning of first year can get so busy and overwhelming. In other words, he doesn't want his mum butting into everything. We received your letter about him getting onto the Quidditch team and the circumstances around it and we apologize for our son's behavior. Speak for yourself… While we are proud of his placement on the team, it was in no way right for him to disobey Madam Hooch's orders. Now, Minnie, I'm sure you would agree with me on this one, but that dive was spectacular and he's already taking after his dad. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with defending a friend against a smarmy Slytherin git. We hope Harry is receiving top marks in all of his classes and studying hard, as well as showing that he is a very responsible kid. Now, all I want to know is whether or not he's pranking and causing mischief. It would break Sirius's heart if his Godson wasn't causing trouble around every corner! It would make us very proud if he followed in our footsteps and became a prefect, or even Head Boy. My dear wife is too embarrassed to admit the real reason she wants our son to be Head Boy. You see, Minnie, she wants the Head Girl to be a girl that our son has had a crush on from day one, but she hates his guts, and then they'll fall in love as Head Boy and Girl. She also wants this girl to have red hair. And she wants grandchildren. Lots of them. I hope this letter doesn't come across as too pushy, but I'm sure you can understand, we just want to make sure that Harry's adjusting well to Hogwarts.
Thinking of you and Dumbledore fondly, (Don't forget Filch)
Mr. and Mrs. Potter
(Evans and Potter, in case you forgot that I succeeded in wooing her and we got married)