Disclaimer: I own no characters that occur within the Stephanie Plum series. Nor do I own any rights to the song, Something's Gotta Give by LeAnn Rimes.
YouTube link (it will open in a new window) to listen as you read: /watch?vUYKAs4H1mxc
Something's Gotta Give
By BurumaBabe
I hate my life. It sucks. There is definitely room for improvement. Trouble was I didn't see improvement coming anytime soon.
As I drove I thought about the past few months of my life and sighed. Thirty years old, single, laid off six months ago, my Miata repossessed this morning, my furniture quickly dwindling to nothing as I hawked it for cash; I was in need of a job.
So here I was in a just-purchased POS Nova, driving down Hamilton towards my cousin Vinnie's bail bonds office at my dad's suggestion. Vinnie was looking for a file clerk. Vinnie is a first-class slime-ball and the job only paid minimum wage, but hey—money is money.
Twenty minutes and a blackmail threat later, I walked out of the office as Vinnie's newest Fugitive Apprehension Agent with a file worth a cool 10,000 to me under my arm. My job was conditional on bringing in the Failure to Appear, or FTA.
I grabbed a soda and got in the Nova, flipping open the file. A smile spread across my face as I looked at the photos. Joseph Anthony Morelli. The jerk who told all of Trenton about taking my virginity by writing about it on the stadium wall and in the bathroom at Mario's Sub Shop—all just before shipping out with the Navy. Okay, so I ran him over with Uncle Sandor's '53 Buick three years later, breaking his leg. I was still irritated over the writing. And hey, 10,000 aside, messing with Morelli's day would kind of make mine.
I cranked the ignition over and my ears were assaulted by country music. The damn radio was stuck on a country music station. And other than Tim McGraw and Nelly's 'Over and Over' I hadn't a clue about country. Never been a country fan but some music is better than no music.
At the moment, some guy with a deep and twangy voice was singing about being 'rough and ready'. Claims he'll rock you steady? Hmmm, now that actually sounds a little promising. As the song ended, the show's host announced the next song.
"That was Trace Adkins and his hit 'Rough and Ready. Off the album Comin' On Strong.' All right country music fans, here comes LeAnn Rimes, from her album This Woman, here's 'Something's Gotta Give.'
Jenny's got a job, a cat named Jake,
31 candles on her birthday cake
Next year
Thought by now she'd have a man
Two car seats and a minivan
But it still ain't here (hey!)
I listened to the song as I drove, noting the parallels to my life. Okay, so I had a hamster not a cat—close enough. I had been married, to Richard 'Dickie' Orr—that was a spectacular disaster. The 'burg still talks about my divorce and the reason for it. I gave him the boot when I found him playing hide-the-salami with Joyce Barnhardt on the dining room table a few months into our marriage. Joyce and I have had a hate-hate relationship since school when she spread nasty rumours about me.
She's been looking for Mr. Right so long
But all she's found is Mr. Wrong
That's the pits
She's drawn a line that she won't cross
Her and time are facing off
She says something's gotta give
Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
Yeah, but something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Sheesh, isn't that the truth? Since Dickie, I've gone on a string of blind dates, drinks with co-workers, even out with some of the girls from E.E. to bars. A few semi-relationships, half a dozen dates before I called it quits. A complete and utter bust all the way around. There was never anything there. No anticipation, no butterflies, nothing. Sure some of them were nice and attractive, but there was never that urge to grab him and kiss him senseless. Or, when he picked me up to go out, pull him inside the apartment after seeing how good he looked and say 'screw it' to going out at all, and rip his clothes off and have a night of crazy abandoned sex. And I wanted that.
Friday night she had a date
Cell phone junky a half hour late
That's the biz baby
I snorted at that one. Three dates ago, Sean-something or another. Stockbroker, good-looking, thirty-three. Every two minutes with the cell phone all through dinner. When I heard a horn blare behind me, I pulled my mind away from the radio and concentrated on my driving.
My first attempt to get Morelli left me with a sour taste in my mouth. Partly because I didn't get him back to the police station but mainly because Morelli irritates me. I imagine that goes back to the Tasty Pastry incident. Maybe all the way back to the garage and him being the train and me the tunnel.
I heard LeAnn Rimes again on the radio while I tailed Mooch to where Joe was hiding out. Joe, to say the least, doesn't inspire butterflies in my stomach other than the ones I got when I thought about him shooting someone. Not a good feeling.
I went back to the bonds office and told Connie that I needed help with Morelli. She smiled and told me she knew just the guy.
I climbed into the Nova and an hour later parked in front of a downtown café. LeAnn Rimes was playing inside. Can't escape that song, I thought as I sat down and waited.
She's riding out the twists of fate
She's had all that she can take
She says something's gotta give
Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
Yeah, but something's gotta give
Damn right, I muttered to myself.
Where is he? I was a little early but still—places to go, Morelli to apprehend, rent to pay. The door opened and I looked up, sucking in a breath when I saw him walk towards me. Oh. My. God. Those were butterflies beating out a marching band in my stomach.
Ranger.
He was absolutely gorgeous. He was about six feet tall and dressed head-to-toe in black. Killer body under all the black. Impossible not to notice all those muscles. I mean, my mouth was a little dry from seeing him in clothes let alone trying to imagine him without clothes. Dark, bedroom eyes, mocha latte skin, black hair in a ponytail, no jewelry, no ring, and I'd guess in his late twenties, early thirties.
I swear
There's got to be a meant to be for me out there
Somewhere someday
I'm gonna find someone, somehow, someway
He leaned back and grinned. "Sooooo, Connie says I'm supposed to make you into a badass fugitive apprehension agent. She says you need to get the crash course. What's the rush?"
Please be early thirties, I thought, the butterfly feeling in my stomach growing when he grinned at me. God, what a smile.
Jenny's got a job, a cat named Jake,
31 candles on her birthday cake
Next year
Thought by now she'd have a man
Two car seats and a minivan
She says something's got,
Something's got,
Something's got
I explained my rush, trying to keep the drool in check, loving the sound of his voice, his laugh. The way he talked was somewhere just above ghetto and didn't bother me one bit. Never having been one to like cutesy little names in the past, I was surprised at the thrill that shot through me when he called me 'babe.'
Ranger took me to get 'outfitted' after we talked at the café. I started the Nova as I watched him climb into his truck and caught the end of the LeAnn Rimes song again. Seriously. Was this supposed to be a frickin' sign or something? Yeah, I get it, Jenny's life sucks, like mine. Thirty, no butterflies, no one to dream about—wait.
Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
Yeah, But something's gotta give
I don't know where it is
Yeah, But something's gotta give
I don't know where it is
Yeah, But something's gotta give
Ahhh, something's gotta give.
A slow smile curved my lips as I watched Ranger drive away. Hmmmm, I think something just gave and I know just where it is.
Taken verbatim from One For The Money written by Janet Evanovich. Chapter 2, Page 30, Paragraph 3
Something's Gotta Give
LeAnn Rimes
Jenny's got a job, a cat named Jake,
31 candles on her birthday cake
Next year
Thought by now she'd have a man
Two car seats and a minivan
But it still ain't here (hey!)
She's been looking for Mr. Right so long
But all she's found is Mr. Wrong
That's the pits
She's drawn a line that she won't cross
Her and time are facing off
She says something's gotta give
Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
Yeah, but something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Friday night she had a date
Cell phone junky a half hour late
That's the biz baby
She's riding out the twists of fate
She's had all that she can take
She says something's gotta give
Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
Yeah, but something's gotta give
I swear
There's got to be a meant to be for me out there
Somewhere someday
I'm gonna find someone, somehow, someway
Jenny's got a job, a cat named Jake,
31 candles on her birthday cake
Next year
Thought by now she'd have a man
Two car seats and a minivan
She says something's got,
Something's got,
Something's got
Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
Yeah, But something's gotta give
I don't know where it is
Yeah, But something's gotta give
I don't know where it is
Yeah, But something's gotta give
Ahhh, something's gotta give.