Title: A Connection Fate Can't Break – [By Genise A. Mora]
Rating: G – PG; nothing wrong with this one kiddies.
Disclaimer: Cathy Doggett is my property, created by me; Doggett, Scully, and Mulder are property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the FOX Network.
Classification: Dogget/Scully romance
Keywords: Doggett/Scully Romance
Spoilers: first half of season 8
Summary: Cathy Doggett, John's ex-wife, comments on the relationship she sees between Doggett & Scully, and the forgiveness that she and John both yearn for from each other. Warning: DSR.
Personal note: This is my FIRST Piece of X-Files fan fiction. And as for the DSR, I'm not completely anti-MSR, but I feel that the relationship between Doggett and Scully hints that there could be something more. The guy is OBVIOUSLY in love with her.
Feedback: Welcome. Please send me comments, constructive ones that is.
Email: rockenpnay@yahoo.com
AIM: rockenpnay
A Connection Fate Can't Break – [By Genise A. Mora]
=====
It was difficult being here, and I felt a knot develop in my chest that made it hard for me to breath. I'd spent many years in this home, many holidays and weekends. Here, years and years of memories had built up, but the wall it created had been demolished by one clear and horrific tragedy.
And that tragedy, my friend, was the death of my son.
I think of Luke now, wondering how he would look, what his touch would be like. Would he still look like John, or would any of my physical traits finally come through? I think of him during the holidays, when I'm having dinner by myself. I think of him when I drive past a park and see children playing soccer, running around energetically in their blue and red uniforms. I see him in my dreams, where reality has no place and my son and I can be together.
I se him in many places, but I couldn't handle it whenever I saw him in John's face. That's why I left. It was impossible for us to continue, to go on, when the size of our loss hung over us like a cloud of mosquitoes, waiting for the perfect time to attack us when we were most vulnerable. He blamed himself for Luke's death, and I know that I helped incubate his guilt. That's why I came, to put at ease the guilt in my own mind.
The house is full of people. A wedding sure does bring family together. My own wedding will be in two months. Yes, I have learned to move on. Alec does care for me, and I feel lucky to experience the love of two great men in my life. But now I'm here, not for Alec or for me, but for John.
I walk into the house, and I am greeted by ex-relatives like a family member who had merely forgotten to attend family events or was too swamped with work to attend. John's mother comes up to me, pulling me in close for a hug and kissing me on the cheek. I see John's nieces and nephews outside through the windows in the living room, running around and playing.
I see the bride, John's youngest sister, Georgia. She's radiant, and I'm amazed at her beauty. I still remember when she was an awkward, gawky teenager John had loved teasing but had been quick to protect from boys. Her eyes meet mine, a shade of blue distinct to the Doggett family, a shade that Luke and John both had. She comes up to me, giving me a warm hug.
"I'm glad you made it," She tells me, smiling at me as she takes my hand in hers, "I'd like you to meet my husband," She gestures over to the tall man next to her, and takes his hand in her free one. "Danny this is Cathy, John's ex-wife."
Danny smiles at me, and I can tell from the way that he looks at Georgia that he adores her. Did I look at John the same way? I ponder that for a moment. I hope that life doesn't throw them a curve ball like it did to my marriage.
I spend the rest of the afternoon discussing various things with family members, and I feel at home again. At home in a home that used to be mine. It's weird thinking of it that way. The house looks a lot similar, perhaps a bit more tidier than it usually is because of the reception. I walk into the living room, which is not as crowded with people as the patio or the backyard, carrying an ice cold glass of Mama Doggett's famous ice tea.
A woman sits in the red armchair, gazing wistfully out the window. She rests her chin on her palm, staring out of the window as her glorious red hair falls lightly onto her shoulders. I see her profile, and think she's incredibly delicate and beautiful.
"Hello," I greet her, coming into the room, "I hope I'm not disturbing you," I add apologetically.
She smiles at me, sitting up straighter, "No," She answers, "not at all. I'm Dana." She shakes my hand firmly. My father always said you could tell a person's character by the strength of their handshake.
"Cathy. Are you a friend of the family's?" I ask, taking a sip of ice tea.
She smiles at me, "Yes. And you?"
Oh, what a question. "Yes." I reply. It's true; I'm not a Doggett anymore.
"They're a lovely couple," Dana says, gesturing out the window towards Georgia and Danny. They were laughing at something that their guests were saying, looking young and carefree. She turns to me, "I've never seen you before, were you on Danny's guest list?"
"No, I'm John's ex-wife," I answer. She nods, fingering the small gold cross pendant that hands on a small chain around her neck.
There's a knock on the door and we both turn. John enters the room, and the surprise of seeing me is evident in the way his blue eyes widen. He's wearing a white collared shirt, having removed his suit jacket hours ago when the day started to warm up. His sleeves are rolled up, his tie removed and forgotten, and he looks as handsome as the day I'd left him three years ago.
"Hello, John," I greet him. He stands there for a moment, as if in shock.
"It's nice seeing you again, Cath." He says. He walks up to me, and I'm expecting him to shake my hand, but I'm surprised that he takes me into his arms and gives me a hug. The formality of our divorce left me with the impression that he would be cold and bitter towards me during our next encounter. After a stunned moment I returned the hug.
"I see you've met Dana," He says, releasing me. He smiles down at her, a smile that I've never seen on his face, even when we were married. She smiles back, but it's a genuine smile, yet one that seems ill at ease. That's when I realize the situation. Suddenly, I feel very stupid.
"Yes, we've met," Dana answers for me, "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go and get some of that ice tea." She smiles and nods at me as she leaves the room. She turns to leave, but John takes her hand lightly in his, squeezing it briefly before he lets her go. After a moment she's gone, and it's just John and I.
The silence between us is almost deafening.
"You look well," I finally say, interrupting the silence before I went mad. He smiles, happy that one of us has actually broken the ice.
"Yeah. You do too," His New York accent is still evident, giving him a soft drawl.
"Are you and her…" I didn't have to finish my sentence because he nodded.
"Yeah," His expression goes soft for a moment as he thinks of her. "I love her. We've been through a lot."
And so have we, I wanted to say, but that's in the past. I think of Alec, waiting for me at my own home. Then I remember my purpose for being here.
"I'm sorry, John."
He's surprised, resting his hands on his hips. It's a habit of his that I've learned to interpret as confusion. "Sorry for what, Cathy?"
"I'm sorry for hurting you." I tell him, "I'm sorry for blaming you for Luke's death. I'm sorry for not being there for you, and belittling your grief because I was in denial of mine." It felt good. The years of thinking of what I'd done seemed to weigh less on me. I felt lighter, like an invisible burden had been removed from my shoulders.
"It's okay, Cathy." He assures me, taking my hand in his. "Life's thrown both of us a tough hand. I've come to learn, through Dana, that life does go on." He adds as he releases my hand.
That evening, as I leave the Doggett residence, I can't help but feel a bit relieved. A weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, because I've not only helped myself to gain peace, but I've also received the forgiveness from John that I needed. It made it easier, both of us knowing that sometimes things happen, whether you like it or not. That doesn't justify Luke's death, but it helps us to deal with it and move on.
It's chilly outside, the cold air nipping at my exposed skin. I huddle more into my coat, walking down the steps of the porch. I stop on the sidewalk, looking towards the window that led into the living room. John's sitting there, staring at a picture that I know must be of Luke. His gaze is intense, but he seems relieved, relieved at having finally known that he wasn't the only one who screwed things up. Relieved to know that the whole world's burden of guilt and remorse doesn't just lie on his back alone. Dana comes in a moment later, putting her hands on his shoulders from behind as she stares down at Luke's picture. Her lips are moving, I can't hear the words, but I know they must be comforting from the way John's expression changes. He puts a hand on one of hers and squeezes it affectionately. She bends down and kisses him on the cheek.
I smile at that. A small show of affection, but enormous in its meaning. How could I disapprove of her when she makes him happy, gives him a purpose in life to focus on other than working himself to death? John's found his peace, his way to live on, and so have I. I look up at the sky, smiling at its darkness and the gray clouds that swirl above me. I know Luke's up there, smiling down upon us, because we've finally learned to settle things that spent years plaguing us with guilt and grief. Maybe in this world, John and I were never meant to be, but we were always meant to be Luke's parents. That's the one connection that fate can't break.
Rating: G – PG; nothing wrong with this one kiddies.
Disclaimer: Cathy Doggett is my property, created by me; Doggett, Scully, and Mulder are property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the FOX Network.
Classification: Dogget/Scully romance
Keywords: Doggett/Scully Romance
Spoilers: first half of season 8
Summary: Cathy Doggett, John's ex-wife, comments on the relationship she sees between Doggett & Scully, and the forgiveness that she and John both yearn for from each other. Warning: DSR.
Personal note: This is my FIRST Piece of X-Files fan fiction. And as for the DSR, I'm not completely anti-MSR, but I feel that the relationship between Doggett and Scully hints that there could be something more. The guy is OBVIOUSLY in love with her.
Feedback: Welcome. Please send me comments, constructive ones that is.
Email: rockenpnay@yahoo.com
AIM: rockenpnay
A Connection Fate Can't Break – [By Genise A. Mora]
=====
It was difficult being here, and I felt a knot develop in my chest that made it hard for me to breath. I'd spent many years in this home, many holidays and weekends. Here, years and years of memories had built up, but the wall it created had been demolished by one clear and horrific tragedy.
And that tragedy, my friend, was the death of my son.
I think of Luke now, wondering how he would look, what his touch would be like. Would he still look like John, or would any of my physical traits finally come through? I think of him during the holidays, when I'm having dinner by myself. I think of him when I drive past a park and see children playing soccer, running around energetically in their blue and red uniforms. I see him in my dreams, where reality has no place and my son and I can be together.
I se him in many places, but I couldn't handle it whenever I saw him in John's face. That's why I left. It was impossible for us to continue, to go on, when the size of our loss hung over us like a cloud of mosquitoes, waiting for the perfect time to attack us when we were most vulnerable. He blamed himself for Luke's death, and I know that I helped incubate his guilt. That's why I came, to put at ease the guilt in my own mind.
The house is full of people. A wedding sure does bring family together. My own wedding will be in two months. Yes, I have learned to move on. Alec does care for me, and I feel lucky to experience the love of two great men in my life. But now I'm here, not for Alec or for me, but for John.
I walk into the house, and I am greeted by ex-relatives like a family member who had merely forgotten to attend family events or was too swamped with work to attend. John's mother comes up to me, pulling me in close for a hug and kissing me on the cheek. I see John's nieces and nephews outside through the windows in the living room, running around and playing.
I see the bride, John's youngest sister, Georgia. She's radiant, and I'm amazed at her beauty. I still remember when she was an awkward, gawky teenager John had loved teasing but had been quick to protect from boys. Her eyes meet mine, a shade of blue distinct to the Doggett family, a shade that Luke and John both had. She comes up to me, giving me a warm hug.
"I'm glad you made it," She tells me, smiling at me as she takes my hand in hers, "I'd like you to meet my husband," She gestures over to the tall man next to her, and takes his hand in her free one. "Danny this is Cathy, John's ex-wife."
Danny smiles at me, and I can tell from the way that he looks at Georgia that he adores her. Did I look at John the same way? I ponder that for a moment. I hope that life doesn't throw them a curve ball like it did to my marriage.
I spend the rest of the afternoon discussing various things with family members, and I feel at home again. At home in a home that used to be mine. It's weird thinking of it that way. The house looks a lot similar, perhaps a bit more tidier than it usually is because of the reception. I walk into the living room, which is not as crowded with people as the patio or the backyard, carrying an ice cold glass of Mama Doggett's famous ice tea.
A woman sits in the red armchair, gazing wistfully out the window. She rests her chin on her palm, staring out of the window as her glorious red hair falls lightly onto her shoulders. I see her profile, and think she's incredibly delicate and beautiful.
"Hello," I greet her, coming into the room, "I hope I'm not disturbing you," I add apologetically.
She smiles at me, sitting up straighter, "No," She answers, "not at all. I'm Dana." She shakes my hand firmly. My father always said you could tell a person's character by the strength of their handshake.
"Cathy. Are you a friend of the family's?" I ask, taking a sip of ice tea.
She smiles at me, "Yes. And you?"
Oh, what a question. "Yes." I reply. It's true; I'm not a Doggett anymore.
"They're a lovely couple," Dana says, gesturing out the window towards Georgia and Danny. They were laughing at something that their guests were saying, looking young and carefree. She turns to me, "I've never seen you before, were you on Danny's guest list?"
"No, I'm John's ex-wife," I answer. She nods, fingering the small gold cross pendant that hands on a small chain around her neck.
There's a knock on the door and we both turn. John enters the room, and the surprise of seeing me is evident in the way his blue eyes widen. He's wearing a white collared shirt, having removed his suit jacket hours ago when the day started to warm up. His sleeves are rolled up, his tie removed and forgotten, and he looks as handsome as the day I'd left him three years ago.
"Hello, John," I greet him. He stands there for a moment, as if in shock.
"It's nice seeing you again, Cath." He says. He walks up to me, and I'm expecting him to shake my hand, but I'm surprised that he takes me into his arms and gives me a hug. The formality of our divorce left me with the impression that he would be cold and bitter towards me during our next encounter. After a stunned moment I returned the hug.
"I see you've met Dana," He says, releasing me. He smiles down at her, a smile that I've never seen on his face, even when we were married. She smiles back, but it's a genuine smile, yet one that seems ill at ease. That's when I realize the situation. Suddenly, I feel very stupid.
"Yes, we've met," Dana answers for me, "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go and get some of that ice tea." She smiles and nods at me as she leaves the room. She turns to leave, but John takes her hand lightly in his, squeezing it briefly before he lets her go. After a moment she's gone, and it's just John and I.
The silence between us is almost deafening.
"You look well," I finally say, interrupting the silence before I went mad. He smiles, happy that one of us has actually broken the ice.
"Yeah. You do too," His New York accent is still evident, giving him a soft drawl.
"Are you and her…" I didn't have to finish my sentence because he nodded.
"Yeah," His expression goes soft for a moment as he thinks of her. "I love her. We've been through a lot."
And so have we, I wanted to say, but that's in the past. I think of Alec, waiting for me at my own home. Then I remember my purpose for being here.
"I'm sorry, John."
He's surprised, resting his hands on his hips. It's a habit of his that I've learned to interpret as confusion. "Sorry for what, Cathy?"
"I'm sorry for hurting you." I tell him, "I'm sorry for blaming you for Luke's death. I'm sorry for not being there for you, and belittling your grief because I was in denial of mine." It felt good. The years of thinking of what I'd done seemed to weigh less on me. I felt lighter, like an invisible burden had been removed from my shoulders.
"It's okay, Cathy." He assures me, taking my hand in his. "Life's thrown both of us a tough hand. I've come to learn, through Dana, that life does go on." He adds as he releases my hand.
That evening, as I leave the Doggett residence, I can't help but feel a bit relieved. A weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, because I've not only helped myself to gain peace, but I've also received the forgiveness from John that I needed. It made it easier, both of us knowing that sometimes things happen, whether you like it or not. That doesn't justify Luke's death, but it helps us to deal with it and move on.
It's chilly outside, the cold air nipping at my exposed skin. I huddle more into my coat, walking down the steps of the porch. I stop on the sidewalk, looking towards the window that led into the living room. John's sitting there, staring at a picture that I know must be of Luke. His gaze is intense, but he seems relieved, relieved at having finally known that he wasn't the only one who screwed things up. Relieved to know that the whole world's burden of guilt and remorse doesn't just lie on his back alone. Dana comes in a moment later, putting her hands on his shoulders from behind as she stares down at Luke's picture. Her lips are moving, I can't hear the words, but I know they must be comforting from the way John's expression changes. He puts a hand on one of hers and squeezes it affectionately. She bends down and kisses him on the cheek.
I smile at that. A small show of affection, but enormous in its meaning. How could I disapprove of her when she makes him happy, gives him a purpose in life to focus on other than working himself to death? John's found his peace, his way to live on, and so have I. I look up at the sky, smiling at its darkness and the gray clouds that swirl above me. I know Luke's up there, smiling down upon us, because we've finally learned to settle things that spent years plaguing us with guilt and grief. Maybe in this world, John and I were never meant to be, but we were always meant to be Luke's parents. That's the one connection that fate can't break.