I don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything else is this fic written due to boredom.
Oh and I'm a guy.
Things I Can't Do In Kingdom Hearts
Somewhere,a Kingdom Hearts fangirl is bored out of her mind. She wanted to do something, but didn't know what to do. Writting fanfics? No because she's currently suffering from a Writer's Block. Playing Kingdom Hearts and watch as a sexy Riku helps Sora defeating Xemnas all over again? No because her annoying little brother is currently in possesion of the game console. Needless to say, she's bored.
Then she recived a letter from out of nowhere with had a Disney mark on it. She curiously opens it and surprised to the content in it.
Dear KH Fangirl,
You have been chosen to enter the world of Kingdom Hearts as a self insert. However, there is one condition: List some of the things you can't do in Kingdom Hearts. If you managed to make a perfect list, you're on your way to Kingdom Hearts.
Signed,
King Mickey
"I'm going to Kingdom Hearts!" she cheered before she realised that she had just annoyed her family members with her cheer. She opens her laptop and began to list down the things she can't do.
1) I'm not allowed to call Sora 'Sora Takenouchi'.
2) ... Even if it's a crossover between Kingdom Hearts and Digimon Adventure.
3) ... Or Digimon 02
4) I'm not allowed to call Riku 'Rikku'.
5) I'm not allowed to call Kairi a bitch.
6) ... Or an asshole
7) ... Or whiny
8) ... Or any other mean words.
9) I'm not allowed to call Roxas 'Roxy'.
10) ... Even if he's a girl.
11) ... Or a boy with a girls voice. (Fangirl: I'm looking at you Justin Bieber)
12) I'm not allowed to steal Namine's drawing pad.
13) ... Even if I run out of paper to draw.
14) I'm not allowed to replace King Mickey with Bugs Bunny.
15) ... Or Spongebob.
16) I'm not allowed to call Donald a chicken
17) ... Or a bird.
18) ... Or a duck without pants.
19) I'm not allowed to steal Goofy's shield.
20) ... Even if I wanted to play fetch with Pluto.
21) I'm not allowed to ask 'Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the ugliest of them all?' to a magic mirror in front of Maleficent.
22) ... Although she is infact already ugly.
23) I'm not allowed to use Pete's stomach as a punching bag.
24) I'm not allowed to call Organization 13 'Homo 13'.
25) ... Even if they're already homosexual.
26) I'm not allowed to call Larxene a bitch.
27) ... Or whiny
28) ... Or an asshole
29) ... Or any other mean words.
30) I'm not allowed to call Marluxia gay.
31) ... Even if I caught him singing 'If You Were Gay' by Avenue Q
32) ... Or singing 'I fell pretty, oh so pretty'.
33) I'm also not allowed to ask Luxord to play Duel Monsters with Yugi Moto.
34) ... Or capturing Clow Cards with Sakura Kinomoto.
35) ... Or playing any card games for that matter.
36) I'm not allowed to play 'Guitar Hero' with Demyx.
37) ... Because he might keep beating my all time record hi score.
38) I'm not allowed to call Axel 'Reno' from FF7.
39) ... Even if they're looked alike.
40) I'm not allowed to mistaken Saix for a Twilight werewolf.
41) ... Espacially the one with the name 'Jacob'.
42) I'm not allowed to call Zexion 'emo'.
43) ... Even if he's the coolest emo ever.
44) I'm not allowed to compare Lexareus (spelling?) with Pete.
45) I'm not allowed to compare Vexen's experiment place with Dexter's laboratory.
46) ... Or Jimmy Neutron's lab.
47) I'm not allowed to steal one of Xaldin's lances.
48) ... Even for safety reasons.
49) I'm not allowed to call Xigbar a Jamaican.
50) ... Or a pirate.
51) ... Or a Jamaican pirate.
52) I'm not allowed to call Xemnas 'Mansex'.
53) ... Even if I caught him having mansex with Saix.
The fangirl is about to finish her list. Then she finally gets something from her brain.
54) I'm not allowed to replace the Organization's cloak with Akatsuki's cloak form Naruto.
55) ... Even if they looked cool.
Finally, the fangirl finished her list. Then a letter came to her desk. She picks it up and reads it.
Congratulations, you have listed all the things that you shouldn't do in Kingdom Hearts. Unfortunately, due to the increasing number of self inserts, I've decided to cancel the deal. In other words, you're not going to Kingdom Hearts. Sorry for the trouble.
Still, thanks for listing.
Hugs and kisses,
King Mickey.
"Oh fuck!" the fangirl ranted. Oh well, at least she managed to spend her time listing some things she shouldn't do at Kingdom Hearts.
A/N: Yep. My boredom is over. Review if you're bored like me.