This story takes place immediately after the events of the film "Steins;Gate Fuka Ryōiki no Déjà vu," which follows the True End of the Steins;Gate Visual Novel and anime series.

The Cessation of Memory

"The flow of entangled bodies in time- whether jerky and nervous or flaming and flowing, whether both partners are in harmony or painfully out of sync or something else altogether- is communication about relationship, the relationship itself, and the means of reshaping relationship and so it's enactors."

-Donna Haraway, "When Species Meet"

I am running.

Running through the back streets of Akihabara, running on and on down nameless corridors.

The world seems hazy and gray, enveloped by the harsh sound of my own breath.

Someone's hand is in mine.

Muyuri! Hold on… we're almost there…

I don't look back, but I know she's with me.

I feel as if my mind has been glossed over. None of the details here matter. It's meaningless. All sense of time and place are lost to a vague sense of despair.

Nothing I do matters.

No! You have to keep trying...

It doesn't even hurt anymore.

A sudden roar splits the air, and I stumble back as a train screeches past me. It nearly runs me over, but I don't fear for my own life anymore.

"Muyuri?!"

I turn around, and she collapses into my chest.

No… it's the same… it's always the same!

I look down.

"Okabe…"

This voice isn't Muyuri's.

I can feel my pulse skyrocket as a warm, wet liquid spreads out across my chest.

Why?!

This can't be right! I fixed this!

The world starts to shake. Something is clawing at my arms.

I open my mouth to scream-

"Okarin?"

I open my eyes, hissing through my teeth.

Muyuri's blurry face is hovering above me, eyes wide with concern as she gently shakes my arm.

Shit! I feel asleep on the couch!

"Okarin, are you ok?"

I nod, pushing myself off the couch. I quickly stand up and stretch out my limbs, cold terror of the nightmare fading as I find myself in the familiar clutter of my very own lab.

"I'm fine." I declare.

But am I?

That was a dream, right? It wasn't Reading Steiner… there was nothing to trigger it… for it to happen randomly is no longer possible…

I stand in front of the window, hand to my chin, when a voice sounds from the darkest corner of the lab.

"If all you're doing is taking naps, why dontcha go get some food? We're completely out of snacks…"

It's Daru, squatting in his usual spot at the computer.

I give a noncommittal grunt.

It's too hot to walk anywhere…

But then Muyuri gets in on it too.

"A walk might help Okarin feel more awake! And Mayushi sure wants some bananas and Juicy Fried Chicken No.1…"

Are you serious?! Betrayal!

I pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Hello? It's me."

"Yes, it seems that once again I am under psychological attack from an Organization agent. You'll hear from me again, don't worry." I close my eyes and a take a long breath, holding my phone against my ear.

"El. Psy. Kongroo."

I snap the phone shut and plunge it into my lab coat pocket.

"Thank you, Okarin!"

Mayuri looks up from her current cosplay project, smiling one of those warm smiles she always gets when she's getting her way. The desk in front of her is piled with sewing supplies, bits of string and scissors and cloth.

Bright summer light illuminates the scene, rushing in from the window behind me. The tiny breeze fluttering in through the open panes does little to alleviate the oppressive summer heat.

The Future Gadget Lab in the summer; peaceful almost to a fault.

Of course I don't really mind making a trip for snacks while the other lab mems work, but… this is a matter of principle! Who do these fools think I am?!

"Daru!"

With flourish, I gesture at my Super Hacker.

"I request-"

Before I can even begin, Daru raises an arm up.

"But I refuse." He says firmly.

"Got a date with one of your 2D girls, hmm?" I mutter disdainfully, crossing my arms.

Daru doesn't even to turn to look me. I squint, trying to make out what has him so captivated that he feels compelled to risk inciting the wrath of Hououin Kyouma. Surprisingly, I don't see the familiar character portraits of his usual eroge.

It almost looks like he's chatting online with… an actual person?! And he's not on (a)channel either?!

Too late I realize that my curiosity has driven me up to Daru's side.

"H-hey!" Daru suddenly leaps up, covering the screen with his rather large body. I leap back, assuming an offensive pose with a pointed finger.

"Daru!" I shout. "What is the meaning of this!?"

Daru's round cheeks are actually flush with embarrassment. What could cause this bizarre change his usual behavior?!

Mayuri is the one who answers me. "It's that girl he meet at Comima!" she chirps happily.

Oh.

I should have known. I guess I forgot; or maybe I just thought that it was too impossible to be true.

Either way, I probably shouldn't discourage him from socializing with 3D girls.

Even if I did… is that really Suzuha Amane's mother he's chatting with?

What about déjà vu? Surely Daru doesn't remember anything about meeting his future daughter… if he did, could it potentially change the outcome of his relationship with this woman?

Or could it be that their relationship comes to pass, no matter what? Could something like that be determined by an attractor field?

"… so leave me alone for once, Okarin!"

I blink, suddenly realizing that I didn't even hear what Daru was saying. I feel a familiar tension in my jaw; I'm grinding my teeth.

"Okarin?"

I start at Maruyi's voice, snapping back to reality.

This is the Steins;Gate worldline. The worldine where both Mayuri and Kurisu live. An unknown future, free of the temptation of time travel. And I'm part of it.

I swallow back nervousness, crushing the anticipation of vertigo.

Of a Reading Steiner activation that will tear me out of this worldline and into an adjacent one. A feeling that never comes.

"No matter!" I announce, recovering to strike a pose. "I shall generously grant your request! As I go in your stead, I will not fail!"

Maruyi smiles once again, tilting her head.

"Don't forget the bananas!" she calls after me as I make a dramatic exit from the lab.

As I'm turning the corner into the stairwell, I indulge a quick glance back into the lab. I see Mayuri's contented face as she sews, Daru's broad back turned towards away from the lab's interior as he focuses intensely on his screen.

I walk down the stairs and into the streets of Akihabara, passing by Mr. Braun's CRT shop, where, as usual, there are no costumers. I give a casual wave to and his only employee, Moeka, but don't stop for conversation.

Can't risk having "the rent" coming up again.

The street is as quiet as it is hot, sheltered from the bustle of Akiba's center only a few miles away. The sky is a shock of blue, as usual, but the density of clouds on the horizon is unusual. If we're lucky, we might enjoy an evening rain shower. I can hear the screaming of those dammed cicadas in the distance.

It's a perfectly ordinary day, and I almost can't believe it. The Steins;Gate worldline. It was literally yesterday when I about to let it all go.

Focus, Okabe!

I need to grab some snacks for tonight. Bananas and Juicy Fried Chicken No.1.

Everything is perfectly normal, and somehow that feels like the strangest thing of all.

I gotta stop letting myself feel this way. It's pathetic.

As I walk towards the shopping district, I soon decide that my overheated body needs a break. I lean on a power pole, absentmindedly pulling out my phone. The shadows of the wires above me cast a shifting geometric pattern on my lab coat.

I thumb through my contacts, continuing to pretend that my actions are arbitrary. The cursor finally settles on the name of my choice.

Assistant.

I thumb the buttons on my phone nervously, memories dancing in the back on my brain. My feelings are louder than the endlessly shrieking cicadas. It is maddening.

I consider inviting her over for dinner, to hang out at the lab. I consider asking her if she wants to help me shop. I consider asking her "what's up?, and why she hasn't contacted me at all since then; only a day ago.

I consider thanking her for not giving up, for working to keep me in the Steins;Gate worldline even after I ordered her, my loyal assistant, to give up. To forget.

I consider telling her "I love you," again and again and again.

Instead, I snap my phone shut and keep walking.

It's so damn hot.