THE JOY OF RANDOMNESS!

By Meep (aka Chibilinnet)

Note: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff mentioned here, that belongs to Square, and I do not own any of the Tekken crap mentioned here. That belongs to Namco. The Devil may Cry stuff, I do not own that, that is Capcoms. And I do not own Pokemon. Nintendo does. I do not own any of the Neopets (legally, anyway) mentioned in the story. The fine people at Neopets.com do. Please don't sue me.. I said I didn't own anything here.. *whimper*

Sephiroth jumped down the stairs. "WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!" He sang (quite terribly, I may add) and walked to his best friend, Kaz's house!

"KAAAZZZ?? ARE YOU HOOOOOME??"

"GODDAMMIT! I HATE YOU, JECHT! HATE HATE HATE!"

Seph opened the door and peeked in, a little scared. It was well known that Kaz had an anger problem and liked to blow stuff up with his rocket launcher. Inside the room was Kaz, dressed in his normal black trenchcoat, swearing at the TV screen.

"Kaz? Are we gonna meet Dante now?"

Kaz looked behind him. "..How the hell did you get in?"

Seph shrugged. "I'm from an RPG, I can just barge into people's homes.."

They both got up and proceeded to the lovely caves, where there is that age-old rumour of treasure. Yay. Along the way, Dante followed them, bouncing along.

"BOUNCY, BOUNCY!"

"SHUT THE ---- UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!"

Seph was quite annoyed by this bouncing and drew his sword. He held it to Dante's neck.

"I swear.. I will kill you if I have to hear that goddamned bouncy song, OK???"

Dante nodded. "Ok" he squeaked. Seph sheathed the blade and smiled with satisfaction. Oh, how he hated that damned bouncy song! HATE HATE HATE!

Ahem, now, we introduce the chracters before we continue along...

Seph aka Sephiroth. In this story, he is 13, lives in Toronto, that beautiful city in Cananda, is not a sad, abused child, but a spoiled brat, and still has that big-ass sword, the Masamune! Has a temper problem.

Kaz, aka Kazuya, is a Black-Mage-in training. He's the oldest at 14. Unlike the actual Tekken game, Kaz has family, he can use magic, and too, lives in Toronto. Also has a temper problem, more so than Seph's.

Dante (that's his real name) is a happy-go-lucky demon. Lives in hell, but likes to resurface nowadays to play with his friends. He's 12 now, and uses both magic and weapons, and his attacks more powerful than Kaz's or Seph's. But Dante is an idiot and doesn't know how to use them properly.

OK, back to the story. I present to you: CHAPTER ONE!

CHAPTER ONE: THE CAVE OF MYSTICAL SHINIES!

Dante was impatient. I mean, REEEAAALLLLYYY impatient. He was bobbing up and down as the trio hiked to the Cave of Mystical Shinies, where the Shiniest of all shinys could be found!

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?

"Nooo..."

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Kaz shrieked and violently shook Dante. "WE..ARE..NOT..THERE...YET!!"

Then he dropped him and started hyper-venlitating. Seph smacked him on the back.

"Dude, Kaz, your blood pressure must be 210/130, just calm down.."

Kaz nodded. "Fine. As long as HE-", he pointed to Dante, "shuts up.."

Dante happily nodded. "OK-DAY!" He smiled in his normal childish way and started bouncing along the path while Kaz wrote something down in his mysterious black book. Seph looked over Kaz's shoulder. This is what he saw:

(*-*)~~~~~~~~ (x.x) = happy (^.^)

Me Bolt-3 Dante happy me!

Crude picture, yet disturbing, no?

Seph's current emotion was = -_-"

"errr... Kaz.. don'tcha think you're being too hard on poor Dante, I mean, the kid is only 12, you know.." Seph pointed out. Kaz shut his black book and pocketed it.

"Seph, I have told you a million times... I have no patience with children." Kaz stated bluntly. He smirked and continued on the path, picking up stones to throw at Dante. Seph sighed and sadly continued on, knowing that this won't be good. Finally, after a few minutes of trudging, boucing, and plotting, they heard Dante'e glee-filled squeal.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!! SSSSHHIIIIINNNYYYYY!!"

YES! it was the CAVE OF MYSTICAL SHINIES, WHERE THE SHINIEST OF ALL SHINIES CAN BE FOUND!

oooooh.. Flashy entrance...

Annyyywaaayy...

There was a nice cave, OK? And there were beautiful shiny crystals. So much that you would be blinded if you found the cave on a sunny day. Thankfully, for our heroes, it was raining, and Kaz was wearing shades anyway. He always does.

Dante was busy inspecting a paticualry shiny BLUE crystal! BLUE and SHINY! Dante was drooling as he pointed to the crystal.

"Shhiiiiiinnneeeyyyyy......"

Even Seph was overcome with the sheer shinyness and started dancing around yelling "SHINY! SHINY! CHEEEESSSSEEE.."

Only Kaz remained sane, because of his shades. "You guys are pathetic... " he muttered and dragged both of them into the cave. "We're here to find that stupid Ultra Rare Super Shiny Rainbow Shiny Thing that is worth millions!"

Seph had regained compsure and stood up, freeing himself from Kaz's grasp. "Oh yeah.. how we gonna split the goods?" he asked.

This made Kaz stop dead in his tracks. "Oh.. well.. erm..see.." he stammered.

DAMMIT! No one told me I had to actually SHARE the profits with these idiots!

he thought angrily.

Well, you could kill them..

NO! They're my friends!

what friends? You don't need friends!

I don't?

NO!

But it would feel wrong, I mean, we grew up together!

So? Just collect all of the profit, dispose of the bodies and-

THERE! SEE? I could get busted!

NO! YOU IDIOT! YOU COULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH THE PROFITS! THEN NO ONE CAN STOP YOU!

Oh yeah! OK! Sure!

Yeah, yeah.. you know, they say talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity..

Kaz smiled evily. "Ah.. I'll figure something out, Seph, don't worry.." he reassured Seph. Dante had slipped free too and was hiding behind Seph, because that voice in Kaz's head was scaring him (Dante is a demon. Kaz has an inner demon. There. Plot hole fixed).

They all decided that was the best thing to do and continued to traverse the cave. Now, this is very boring, needless to say, but the Ultra Rare Super Shiny Rainbow Shiny Thing is indeed heavily guarded. So, we present: THE FIRST TRAP!

Dante spotted a very nice shiny orb poking through the rock. "ooooohh.." Dante admired it and poked it.

BLAM!

The trap door was activated and all three fell into a pit. There was a HUGE, BIG, SHINY MONSTER THERE! And now, we present: The first boss battle, Kirby style!

TURN 1:

Kaz (*-*)*

Dante (^.^)/*33 HP dmg -----(O-O)___ Big monster

Seph (-_-)/

TURN 2

Kaz (*-*)~~~~~~~~~ BOLT 3!

Dante (X.x)K.O 9999 HP DMG(O-O)___ Big Monster

Seph (-_-)/

WHOOOO! That was fast!

Kaz jumped with joy after the monster dissolved. "OH YEAH!" Seph frowned instead.

"That's not fair, how did you do 9999 damage? It's only the beginning of the story!"

Kaz stuck out his tongue. "That's a plot hole that'll be fixed later!"

Meanwhile, Dante was lying on the ground, staring up at the cave ceiling with X's in his eyes.

"Uhhhh.. shouldn't we revive him?" Seph asked.

"I dunno... you got a Phoenix Down?" Kaz responded.

Seph pulled put a small feather from his pocket and threw it at Dante. Instantly, light poured down at Dante, and it did revive him buuut...

"AAAAARRRGGGHHH!! THE LIGHT! IT BURNS! OWIE!!" Dante screamed in pain and started running around the cave while Kaz was howling with laughter. Evil, maniac laughter. Seph just did this: -_-"

"Dante, next time, stop poking shiny stuff, OK??" Seph scolded. Dante looked up with big puppy eyes. "But it's soooo shiny!" he muttered.

"OK, OK.." Kaz choked, standing back up. "We continue on. Dante, gimmie the map.." he held out his hand. Dante stuffed his hand in his pocket and showed a very tatterd map. Kaz looked at it with confusion:

START -------------------------I

I

I

TRAP I

I------------------- XXXXX ------------ USSRRST!

"..... you knew that was a trap, Dante?" Kaz asked suspisciously, glaring at Dante. Dante slowly nodded yes "..... But the orb was sooo shiny, I-"

Kaz grabbed Dante has shook him. "YOU BASTARD?? YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL US?? AREN'T YOU?? AREN'T YOU??" he screeched, technically smashing Dante's head into the wall. Seph had to restrain Kaz and pin him against the wall.

"LEMME KILL HIM! ONE BLAST! I DESERVE THAT MUCH AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!" Kaz protested, having his face pinned to the wall. Seph had to tranquilize him before he could help Dante up.

"Dante..? Are you OK?" Seph shakily asked as Dante pulled back his bangs to reveal a BIG boo-boo. "Y-yes Seph.." Dante whispered, looking at the now tranquilized Kaz in fear.

"....... Erggghh.... I'm OK.." Kaz stammered, standing up. he walked around, bumped into a few walls, then shook his head. "Sorry, Dante.. can we go now?"

Dante smiled and bounced along the trail. "OK-DAY! WE'RE GOING TO FIND THE SHINY THING! SHINY THING! SHINY THING!" he sang as he bouced.

Seph gripped on his sword. "I swear, I don't know how that kid can take all that shit from us and still act happy.."

Kaz laughed. "If you ask me, we got all the sanity outta him. That ain't happieness, Seph, that's insanity." He casually strolled off, reading the very simple map.

"I need Coke." Seph complained as they walked deeper.

"Seph! Drugs are bad!" Dante scolded him.

"Yes, Seph, listen to Dante, drugs are veeeerrrryyy bad.." Kaz joked.

"I meant the drink." Seph scowled. He wished his friends weren't so cruel (Kaz) or stupid (Dante).

Kaz: threw his arm out all of the sudden. "Wait." he snapped.

There was a big pit with spikes. Very large, pointy spikes. And sharp. And shinyyy...

"OOOOOOHH!! SHINY!" Dante squealed, and ran toward the spikes. Kaz had to grab him by the neck to stop Dante.

"WHAT ARE YA, MAD??" Kaz yelled. "You could've been hu-....why are you staring at me like that?"

Dante looked at Kaz with them big puppy eyes. "AWWWWW! Kaz! I didn't know you cared so much! I heart you!" And, so, Dante huggled Kaz, much to the latter's displeasure.

Kaz was stunned. "Ummm... " He looked over at Seph and mouthed the following words to Seph:

Is he gay?

Seph shrugged, and Kaz pulled Dante off. "Erm.. no more displays of affection, OK?" Kaz stammered, unsure of whether Dante was really gay or not.

Dante nodded, and bounced around while Kaz and Seph figured out how to cross the spikes. Suddenly, Seph snapped his fingers.

"I'M SUCH A DUMBASS! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE???" he yelled with amazement. Seph reached for his pocket and threw something in the air.

"FEAROW! I CHOOSE YOU!"

And so, from the object, a bird burst out. A brown bird. Ugly. With a long beak. The bird circled around, then stopped in front of Seph.

"Fearow, can ya fly us over the spikes?" Seph asked. Fearow looked at Seph like he was an idiot, then flew off.

"NOOOOO! WAIT! WE NEED YOU!" Seph cried, following Fearow around. Kaz sighed and turned to Dante.

"Can't you jump across?" Kaz frowned at Dante. Dante shook his head.

"Too far!" he protested, bouncing around. Kaz was VERY tempted to destoy them all right now. His hand gripped around the dagger he had in his pocket, but he knew better.

Seph came panting back. "AWWW, POO! Fearow flew away!" he sighed, a look of misery on his face. Meanwhile, Kaz was losing his sanity by the minute.

Oh, how I would love to just slice off their heads and watch them roll away down the cave trail..., Kaz thought angrily. Instead, he walked calmy over to Seph, who was still panting and wheezing and sobbing over the loss of his beloved Pokemon.

"So, genuis.." Kaz mocked him. "How are we gonna get across now?"

Seph stared at Kaz with annoyance. Then he saw the Dark Dragoon Spirit hang from Kaz's neck. OF COURSE!!

"YOU FLY US ACROSS, MISTER DRAGOON MAN!" Seph shouted, and tugged at the Dragoon Spirit. The dark orb glinted in the light as Seph tried to pull it away. Kaz was pulling back.

"FINE! FINE!!" Kaz surrendered to Seph. He scowled and transformed to the Darkness Dragoon.

FLASH! DARKNESS! RAINBOW SPARKILES!

Ahem.

Kaz let Dante grip on his back first, and he flew over the pit, thinking about letting Dante fall into the shiny spikes he adored so much. It was tempting. VEEERRRYYY TEMPTING. But Dante made it alive to the other side, and Kaz continued walking forth.

"HEEEEEEEEYYYYY!" Seph cried. "WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEE??"

Kaz snickered. "I DUNNO, YOU'RE SO SMART!" he replied evily. "YOU FIGURE OUT A WAY ACROSS!" he turned to Dante. "C'mon, Dante, we gotta find that Rainbow thing."

"YAY!!" Dante cheered. "Follow me!!" And Dante bounced along the path while Kaz mosyed along, and Seph was stuck on the other side watching his so-called "friends" walk away.

"That's great!" Seph muttered as he sat down. "I spent my whole life with them and NOW they abandon me!" Seph sat there for a very long time, looking at the shiny spikes. "shiny" Seph commented, and waited for the other two to come back.

"HERE WE ARE!" Dante sang as he kicked open a crystal door-like thingy (caves don't have doors, though, do they? I dunno..) In there was..

THE ULTRA RARE SUPER SHINY RAINBOW SHINY THING THAT WAS WORTH MILLIONS!

And..

MYSTICAL_YUNALESCA, THE SILVER SHOYRU, WHO GUARDS THE ULTRA RARE SUPER SHINY RAINBOW SHINY THING THAT WAS WORTH MILLIONS!