Just a drabble I had to get out of my system. Happy v-day guys.

Title: Sweet Promised Land
Set after the story and the other codas
PG-13

Cas nearly had a heart attack when he walked into Dean's apartment. The lights weren't off, thank god because he would've reacted badly to that atmosphere, but it was ambient. There was a simple white rose left on the cruddy little side table that sat in the hallway with a messily scribbled 'Cas' written on it. He picked it up with shaking hands, letting his duffel bag slide noiselessly to the floor. There was a small dent forming in his lower lip where his teeth had latched on with nerves. Cas took a shaky breath and looked down the small hallway, there wasn't music playing or anything, just the comforting thrum of the noise from the TV. That was at least familiar.

The floorboard creaked a little under his feet and as he walked further into the tiny apartment scents started to drift towards him. Red meat. Cas smiled a little and tucked a piece of his hair awkwardly behind his ear. He'd sort of had a chance to protest but with how patient Dean had been with him for so many years, and it being his senior year. He knew his boyfriend well enough that he wanted to do something special. Consider too that they hadn't been official for long, Dean had been a saint about that too.

"Hey-Cas, fuck-" were the words that flew out of Dean's mouth as Cas rounded the corner, in his haste to greet Cas nearly dropping the tray he was holding. He balanced it awkwardly, letting it rest on his knee for a second so that the jeans only heated up a little before setting it on top of the stove. "I-uh, didn't hear you come in." Cas twirled the rose between his fingers, he'd noticed that it'd been messily clipped of it's thorns. Dean probably did that himself too. "I see you found the... yeah."

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, babe."

For a moment Cas just stared, admiring the small blush that was creeping over Dean's cheeks. Eventually he stepped forward, alleviating Dean of his anxiety. He kept the rose loosely grasped in his hand as he wrapped his arms around Dean. "Oh thank god," puffed past Cas' ear as Dean relaxed and sunk into his body, pulling him close but gentle, giving him plenty of wiggle room so that he didn't feel trapped. "I thought- I was a little worried. You know, it's, it's not too much is it? I know we're taking it slow and everything so I just made some burgers and no cheesy music and no drinks just-"

"Dean."

"-yeah?"

"Thank you," Cas muttered into Dean's neck, placing one soft kiss there to try and ease the tension out of it.

"Remotes where it usually is, I'll, the burgers will be done in a bit," Dean mumbled pulling back with reluctance and placing a chaste kiss on the mess of dark hair.

Amused, Cas let Dean turn back to busying himself in the kitchen. He'd done his fair share of cooking for his father, and occasionally still did it for himself although most of the time he ate his meals with Sam now (especially since they had therapy around the same times and group together after they'd proved it wasn't going to be detrimental), that he could tell there was nothing really left for Dean to do except to let the timer run out. But, if he had learned anything about his boyfriend over the past few years was that he was a very tactile person and especially when he felt the nerves come on he had to move and touch things. It helped that awhile ago, when his therapy had first started, Cas had wanted there to be very strict rules on touching. He found himself regretting it a little bit as he turned to walk towards the couch, rose in hand, smelling it as he made himself a nest of the blankets that were always strewn across the couch. It was sweet of Dean, it really was, and when Cas noticed the channel it had been left on (History) he almost sprang up to bother him in the kitchen again just to love on him.

"You can change it if you want," Dean said behind him, fiddling with his waist long apron hem. "I wasn't watching anything."

"Thank you, Dean."

He watched as Dean turned his back to him and tucked himself back between the kitchen aisle and the oven, opening and closing the door to check on the progress of bun and burger combo now that he'd already fried up the meat. It smelled heavenly. A part of him wanted to get up and tell Dean that none of this was necessary and to forget about all of the things that they'd talked about in therapy and the little pamphlets that he was constantly reading. But it was also a little too endearing to watch Dean fuss. Not that he wasn't a closet romantic every day, but it was always nice when he got that itch to do something special and Cas found that he couldn't say no. He tried to keep his eyes on the TV but they kept drifting behind him on the couch to watch him busy himself in the kitchen.

Cas watched the shoulders move underneath the well-fitted shirt, that despite it's washed out quality and loose threads, seemed to look better on Dean now than it had 3 years ago. He only stopped when he saw his shoulder's tense, knowing that he was being watched. Dutifully Cas turned around and turned the TV up a little, imagining the way those shoulders relaxed and some of the tension melted out. He zoned out until there was a bit of loud clanging and a small curse from Dean, Cas tried to hold his chuckle.

"Can it wise-ass."

It only made him smile more. He wouldn't have him any other way.

"Scoot over."

Cas was tempted to become churlish but seeing the seriousness behind the green eyes anxiously staring at the couch he scooted himself closed to the edge of the couch, keeping the blankets curled around him tightly. Dean set the plates down and dragged the table closer before getting up again to get them something to drink. He asked Cas permission with a raise of a beer bottle to drink. While Cas never actively objected Cas still wasn't the biggest fan of alcohol because of his father, but, he trusted Dean and nodded his head just as Dean was about to put it back in the fridge. Cas noticed Dean about to protest and shut the door and he gathered himself, giving him look , "Dean. I can be around one beer. It won't break me. I'm not that fragile."

"I didn't mean that-"

"Dean, relax. I'm kidding. Just have the beer, please. You're making me anxious by being anxious."

"I'm a crap boyfriend," Dean muttered grabbing one of the juice bottles he always kept around for Cas.

"Yes, such a crap boyfriend that he doesn't keep his fridge stocked full of apple-cranberry juice bottles when he loathes cranberry."

Dean grunted but conceded, bringing the beer with him to their little table. He handed Cas his plate before settling down, helping Cas sweep his legs up into his lap. He rubbed one foot from habit before picking up his own plate and setting down gently on a pillow he'd stacked on top of Cas' legs so as not to burn him.

"Thank you."

"Don't say that until you've taken a bit. For all I know it tastes like ass."

"I have faith in you, Dean," Cas replied taking a rather huge, and possibly unattractive bite of his burger. The flavor burst over his tongue as he let it roll around. He didn't mean to make noise but damn if Dean hadn't put a little extra oomph into this batch. His cooking was generally good, he'd learned a few things from Mary and of course the day's he'd looked after Sam in the mornings, but this, this was phenomenal and he told him so.

"Glad you like it. I can't take all the credit tho', called mom. She asks how you're doing and all that," Dean remarked, the edges of his cheeks tinted pink, he dug into his burger with vigor.

"Tell her thank you, and that you did well, and that I'm well. I'm very proud of my progress."

"Good, good. That's, good," Dean said taking another large, nervous bite of his own burger. Cas noticed that Dean's eyes continued to glaze over as they ate and eventually nudged him in the side of the stomach with his toe.

"You can change it. I appreciate what you tried to do, but you don't like anything but the special documentaries, and only if it's about warfare."

"But, you like it," Dean countered setting down his burger, only halfway eaten. He wiped his hands on his jeans.

"I like you more?" Cas tried to counter, putting effort into the lilt of his voice to try and indicated to Dean that it was meant to be lighthearted, even tho' it was true.

Dean huffed and shook his head and before Dean could get out a disparaging remark about himself Cas set his plate down a little loudly to snap him out of his thoughts. Sure enough his shoulder's twitched and jumped a little and he turned to look at Cas with a small smile cemented onto his face. Maybe there was a little bit more going on than a simple holiday. Now that, made Cas a little nervous. He didn't like it when Dean was very nervous. While he was well on at least the first to crawling steps to some level of recovery for himself and by himself it still helped to have Dean as his solid rock, he didn't like the tremors he was feeling in the mood.

"Dean?"

"I'm good."

"Don't lie to me," Cas warned.

He watched as Dean chewed on his lips, gathering his courage. He turned to Cas and seemed to prep himself for some type of impact.

"You're starting to worry me..."

"Shit-no that's no what I wanted to do at all. It's just... okay so I've been thinking about it for awhile and I figure it's okay if I ask and it's a special day and you are so allowed to say no I won't pressure you-" Cas' heart hammered a little in his chest. If Dean was going to ask him for what he was thinking Dean was going to ask, no, he didn't he was ready at all. Maybe a few more therapy sessions and hell they weren't even that close yet and- "could I, I mean. I want to kiss you. Not just a quick peck, but I want to kiss you."

Cas stared at Dean dumbfounded. He blinked with wide eyes two, three times before leaning forward with a confused frown on his face, eyebrows scrunched together. "What?"

"Forget it, stupid. It's just, I know we have a few just-"

"Dean, stop. Just," Cas started laughing. After barely 3 years of therapy Dean wasn't just going to barrel in and ask him for sex or any type of sexual favors. A kiss, a damn kiss. "Yes, please," Cas replied sitting up and trying to reach out for Dean who had curled himself against the other side of the couch in perceived shame. His head lifted a little from where his two open palms had been cradling it.

"Huh?"

"Dean, it's fine. I told you earlier. I'm not made of glass. I've been making good progress. Please, kiss me. I need... I need good memories. I want good, warm skin that smells like that old spice stuff you use to remember when I close my eyes."

Dean leaned forward and glanced around nervously and up, as if expecting to be smited? "You sure?"

"Dean, please. I want to, you're not pressuring me into anything," Cas replied a little shorter. Just because he'd had a bad experience, or half a life time of it, didn't mean he couldn't make his own, active sexual choices. He had power and control, now he just had to find a way to let the people who loved him the most to give it to him. So, Cas leaned forward and scooted towards him on the couch. He leaned forward, finally feeling nervous despite his bravado and brought himself as close to Dean as he could without actually touching lips. He might have gained a lot of boldness but he wasn't quite that bold yet. Cas could feel his heart trying to hammer its way out of his chest as Dean closed the last few inches.

Just as soft as he remembered it, although with how long it had been since the last time Dean had dared to kiss him, he really didn't have an accurate comparison anymore. He let himself slide back so that Dean had to chase after him. Cas smiled into the kiss and felt Dean melt a little bit more, settling with one hand over the back of the couch and the other straight against Cas' side, holding him up. Cas tried to pull down a little more but Dean kept his arms locked, breathing a little shakily, so Cas pulled him down and wrapped him up in kisses and little love nips and curling into his older, bigger body. So much safer than Lucifer's, there really was nothing to compare, and despite that, he still froze when Dean's hand wandered down his side and stopped by itself at his hip.

"I think we're fine for now," Dean commented and for a little bit Cas was scared that Dean was disappointed, always having to jump through hoops for him but when he looked up there was a small fire burning the soft embers. The smile was just as soft and Cas found parts of him touched by the coldness that his father had left behind begin to melt. Dean pulled back smiling, teeth briefly peeking from beneath his lips as he shook his head. "You really are something, man."

Cas just shook his head in response. What they had, he still couldn't understand and he was afraid he never would, but when Dean just held his hand out and then wrapped his own in it firmly, giving a respectable amount of space between them should Cas have started freaking out, he found that he really didn't need to understand. This was good enough, more than good enough.

"Happy Valentine's, Dean."

"Happy Valentine's, baby."