Spoiler Alert: Spoiler for the end of Dragon Age 2. My Hawke in this story is a very pro-mage aggresive female archer rogue.
This basically is a story in which the decision to kill or not to kill Anders is more heartbreaking than usual.
The look in her eyes was downright fury as she stared at the storm of fire and ash in the sky. The explosion. Everything was a mess. A downright mess.
"Makerdammit Anders, why did you have to blow up the chantry," Hawke thought.
She heard the yells of Meredith and Orsino and the cry of her beloved Sebastian as he screamed over the loss of Elthina. Hawke's heart felt like it was breaking right there, but like the void she was going to let anyone see that.
She knew the mages needed to be free. She had been fighting this cause with Anders, her best friend.
…But the man she called her best friend couldn't even tell her he was going to do this. He couldn't tell her he was going to blow up the sodding chantry of all things?
The chantry which very much could have held Sebastian in it if he had blown it up only a few hours ago.
She had to make a number of decisions she didn't want to make.
The pain in her heart was unbelievably strong.
"I removed the chance of compromise because there is no compromise!"
Yes, Anders, there can be more compromise.
No compromise at all.
Hawke heard the Knight-Commander call for the Right of Annulment, immediately souring as she pictured her sister in that tower and a templar stabbing her in the chest. Bethany would be in that tower more likely than not had Hawke not brought her into the Deep Roads. Bethany and her father were the reasons Hawke could not stand idly by and watch as the mages were persecuted.
The guilt she held from being the cause of Bethany becoming a warden pushed her on every day. If Bethany was still fighting, so could she.
Hawke looked at Anders, "This was your plan, Anders? Was that…why you needed me to Distract the Grand Cleric?"
He did have a point about going down fighting. Hawke was no coward. Hawke never intended to go down without a fight, but not every mage could fight - not every mage would be able to handle this kind of situation without going to demons.
"This might make it worse, Anders," Hawke protested back.
It did make it worse. It really did.
And now Hawke had to choose between the templars and the mages.
She had been fighting for the mages all this time. Siding with the templars wouldn't feel right.
But siding with the mages would be political suicide. She had been talking to Sebastian about becoming the Viscountess of Kirkwall and marrying him when he returned to Starkhaven to take his rightful place as prince…
Standing with the templars would be the selfish thing to do - to stand with a cause solely for political gain. She couldn't do that.
So Hawke looked at Orsino, siding with him.
Fenris objected. So did Aveline.
But neither one did more than object. They were going to follow Hawke no matter what.
So were Sebastian, Merrill, Varric, and Isabela. All of them were going to be with Hawke no matter what.
And if she spared Anders, he would most likely follow her no matter what too.
But she couldn't spare him could she?
No matter what.
Sebastian did have a point. Had he been in the chantry, would she even be hesitating to kill Anders? Would she even think twice about letting him live if he had killed the man she loves?
She wouldn't.
Love had hit her like an arrow to the heart when she saw Sebastian that first time in the courtyard of the chantry. She knew then that no matter what, she was going to fight to be with him.
And when she first saw Anders, she knew he was going to be trouble but she didn't care. Trouble followed her around and she believed in his cause and that the mages needed to be freed.
How do you choose between your lover and best friend, though?
Isn't there some sort of saying that says you're supposed to pick your friend?
But I think the saying is open to changes depending on if your friend blows up the sodding chantry that your lover lives in for Maker's sake.
Hawke took a deep breath, "I hope you're right, Anders."
She did hope that this would improve the lot of the mages. That maybe this would be the thing the mages needed to overcome the tyranny of the templars.
So, she drew her knife, staring at the back of his head as she took in a deep breath, "You have to pay for your crimes…"
And with that, she drove the blade into the mage's stomach.
She had to hold back any feelings of sadness or regret.
But as she looked back at the body of the mage known as Anders, she couldn't help but whisper, "…My friend."
Like an arrow to the heart. His body laying there hit her like an arrow to the heart.
Hawke's heart was just too full of arrows, she supposed.
She was a woman with a heavy heart and a heavy soul.
Turning around, she looked at all her friends and companions and took in a deep breath: She had a revolution she had to attend. And she had a front row seat for it all thanks to a certain mage.