Me: ...I blame wolf! -points finger- Though I am to blame as well...we really shouldn't be allowed to talk to each other. Now for the warning.
Warning don't ignore: Rape, lots and lots of rape. Kidnap. Bondage. Rape. S and M. D/s. Voyeurism. Rape. Alcohol. Drugs. OOC. World jumping. Disregard for all that is holy. Multiple partners. Rape. Video cameras. Toys (not for children). Mother fucking rape. Incest. Humiliation. Underage boys. Inappropriate use of swords. Minor blood play. Rape. 'Basket stuffing' if you know what I mean. Aaaaannnnnndddd...-drum roll- Humor.
Disclaimer: Oh my god do I not own.
This fic is to be taken as a joke. It's not serious. Not trolling either, it's crack. I don't mean to offend. This is the result of an AIM conversation that had to be written. I made the warning for a reason, please do not ignore it.
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Cloud grinned as he poked Zack with a stick. "You don't wanna know where I got this," the blond snickered.
"You pulled it out of Demyx," the brunet said lightly as he continued to eat his sandwich, "Who do you think put it in him?" Zack took a large bite without glancing at the blond.
"Oh...right," Cloud frowned, "Well I have a whip, bet you can't guess who I stole it from."
"Xigbar?"
"Nooope."
"Xaldin?"
"Not even close."
"Xemnas."
"Wrong evil organization dude," Cloud grinned widely.
"Okay...either Sephiroth or Tseng," Zack looked over at the blond for the first time, eying the braided leather whip in his hand.
"You have to choose one," the blond said in a sing song voice, "Or bad things will happen."
"Rude, it's Rude's isn't it?"
"Wrong, Tseng now has raping rights," Cloud smiled widely.
"No way! I rape his ass! Not the other way around," Zack pouted slightly, "...I'll just throw you at him instead." With that said he closed his eyes and nodded decisively.
"Psh," Cloud waved his hand in dismissal, "He raped me this morning, he won't be interested."
"Well....he won't find me, besides he doesn't know that I couldn't recognize his whip yet," Zack smiled slightly.
"I texted him."
"Damn, well I've got a plan," the brunet smiled and glanced around the room. They were currently sitting at a black cherry wood bar in a room filled with drop dead gorgeous men. Reno was slumped next to Cloud, the stem of a papou daiquiri glass held delicately in his unconscious hand. Beside Zack sat a miniature version of Cloud gulping down a large screwdriver, Roxas could drink, that was for sure.. A beautiful silver haired man, Sephiroth, stood behind the bar, a rag in his hand as he cleaned glasses. On a couch sat a butt naked blond with something that looked like the bastardized child of a mullet and a mohawk on his head. Next to the blond, Demyx, was a redhead with a porcupine head and a British blond with a goatee, Axel and Luxord. The trio each had cards in their hands and from the look of it Demyx was losing whatever game they were playing.
"Oh yeah," Sephiroth said curiously, "And what would that be?"
"Lie," Zack said seriously.
"He's been shooting heroin all day," the silver haired man said, "Tseng won't care."
"...oh...well..." the brunet pursed his lips and gazed at the ceiling.
"You," a voice called suddenly and the entire group looked up. In the doorway to the pub stood a black haired Wutain man, eyes wild and skin pale, "Your ass is miiiiiine!"
"Oh shit!" Zack yelped. Looking around desperately, his cerulean eyes settled on Roxas. Ducking down behind the stool, Zack grabbed the small blond. "Thanks for saving me, mini-Cloud, chocobo-haired kid ... ROXAS, that's your name ... THANKS!" he rambled before tossing the stunned blond at the advancing Tseng.
"Ah!" Roxas screamed as Tseng grabbed him out of the air.
"Mm," the brunet looked at the blond in his arms thoughtfully, "I guess you'll do mini-Cloud."
"My name is Roxas," the small boy sighed, "You should know that by now."
"You act like I care," Tseng said.
Before Roxas could respond he found himself tossed over the brunet's shoulder and carried over to an empty couch. He was dumped unceremoniously on the plush surface and had his wrists tied to the wall behind him. The blond's pants were ripped away and his legs pulled up to be tied next to his wrists. Through all of it he had a very bored expression on his face.
"Wow Rox," Axel called over, "Who knew you were so flexible."
"You did you ass," Roxas growled.
"Less talking," Tseng snapped as he unzipped his pants.
"Thanks again mini-Cloud," Zack called.
Roxas just rolled his eyes and sat back for the ride. "SHIT!" the blond cursed as he was thrust into.
"Wow kid," Reno looked up shocked, "Mind the mouth, you're only getting raped."
"Ow damn it!" Roxas grit his teeth as the brunet in him moved without a seconds hesitation, "Give me a minute you ass!"
"No bitch! This is your punishment for not getting who Cloud stole the whip from!" Tseng growled.
"That was Zack you idiot!"
"Oh," Tseng paused in his motions, "Well...I don't care." And with that he thrust harder.
"MOTHER FUCKER!"
"Kairi?" a voice asked from the doorway. The entire group stilled, staring at the small brunet who had just come in. The small spiky haired youth was staring at the bound blond with wide blue eyes. "I um...what's going on here?"
"Oh Tseng is just raping Roxas," Demyx said happily, "But Roxas is being a potty mouth about it."
"How can you just sit by and let this happen?!" the spiky haired youth demanded.
"We're used to it," Zack shrugged as he grabbed Reno's daiquiri
"I'll save you small blond boy!" the youth announced.
"Oh for the love of! My name is Roxas you people!" the blond yelled.
"I'm Sora!" the brunet chirped happily.
"We don't care!" the group yelled.
"Well...I'm going to defeat you all!" Sora declared. Holding out his hands a giant key appeared.
"Wow...gayest weapon ever," Sephiroth smirked.
"It's called Fairy Harp," Sora said defensively.
"Gayest. Weapon. EVER!" the silver haired man reiterated.
"Well...I'm gonna hit you over the head with it," the brunet glared.
(Ten minutes later)
"Well...this sucks," Sora said. He had been divested of all his clothes and strapped into a leather harness. The harness was suspended from the ceiling, a strap secured to his chest helping to suspend him several feet off the ground. His arms were held back with another set of straps, his elbows bent at an angle so that his chest was spread and throat exposed. His legs were spread with another set of straps on his thighs.
"You talk too much," Tseng announced and shoved a bridle into brunet's mouth and fastened a leather strap around his head to keep it in place.
"Hey guys!" a voice called and the group turned towards the door once again. There stood a silver haired teen dressed in emo black with a blindfold over his eyes.
"Mini-Seph!" Zack yelled.
"It's Riku!" the silver haired boy yelled, "Stop calling me Mini-Seph! Just because I'm his little brother doesn't mean I don't have a name of my own!"
"Please," Sephiroth waved his hand slightly, "You want to be me, at least you want my dick."
"No I don't...." Riku dropped his head slightly.
"Not what you said last night."
"Mpf!" Sora tried to yell through the gag.
"Sora? Is that you?" Riku swerved his head around and started forward. Bumping into a stool he sighed and reached up, pulling the blindfold off. "Oh hey Sora, playing with Tseng?"
"Yeah, leave him alone," Zack said dismissively, "What happened last night?"
"Oh nothing," Sephiroth smirked, "I just showed Riku here every inch of my manhood, or at least let him feel it. He did always say he wanted one just like mine."
"I was four when I said that," Riku scoffed, "Mine is bigger now."
"Oh yeah shrimp?"
"Yeah pencil dick!"
"That's not what you said once it was INSIDE you!"
Riku paused, turning away from the larger silver haired male, and looked at his tied up friend. Sora was staring at him with pleading eyes. "Why don't you tell us who is bigger Sora?"
"That's a great idea," Tseng said.
Riku smirked slightly and moved up to his bound friend. The brunet flinched when he felt Riku's hand on his leg. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a finger tracing his butt crack. Then suddenly the finger wasn't tracing his crack, it was inside him. Sapphire eyes widened dramatically and the brunet wiggled in an attempt to escape. Riku made a soothing sound in the back of his throat as he curled his finger within the struggling brunet. Suddenly Sora stilled and groaned loudly, head dropping down slightly. The silver haired teen behind him grinned triumphantly as he rubbed the firm bundle of nerves beneath his finger. After working his friend's entrance some more, Riku withdrew his hand and positioned himself. That was something Sora definitely wasn't so happy about, because he started to struggle again. Riku grabbed the brunet's hips to steady him before starting out on a slow pace. It didn't take long for the pair to begin moaning in unison with one another. A few minutes later Sora screamed from behind his gag and went limp from his orgasm.
Riku groaned slightly as he came before raising his head to grin triumphantly. Sephiroth scowled slightly before grabbing the smaller male and yanking him aside. "My turn," he announced. Without further ado he entered the brunet. Sora screamed, Sephiroth groaned, and Riku fainted.
"RAPE PARTY!" Reno yelled.
The majority of the group jumped up and immediately began fucking whoever was nearest. Cloud and Roxas sat stunned at the bar, far too drunk to immediately act upon Reno's declaration. What was happening seemed to sink into the older blond's mind and he stumbled to his feet. Immediately he fell on his butt. "I'm so useless," the blond on the floor wailed. Grabbing the large, overcompensating, sword and started delicately slicing his arm.
"Whoa chocobo," Reno scowled when he noticed what the blond was doing, "Don't do that."
"Or what?" Cloud glared.
Reno didn't respond, instead grabbing the blond by his hair and hauling him to his feet. "Hold him," the redhead told Roxas. The smaller blond just nodded dumbly and took Cloud by the hair. Reno bent down and picked up the sword, holding it parallel to Cloud's backside, the redhead swung.
Cloud nearly broke away from Roxas in shock when the flat of his own sword made contact, but the other blond was far too strong and held him fast. The redhead continued to swing, drawing more groans from Cloud. Finally happy with his punishment, Reno stopped spanking the blond and handed the sword to Roxas before grabbing Cloud and taking him down. Roxas, still heavily, heavily, intoxicated from his 4/5 alcohol screwdriver, stared at the sword handle for a moment before grinning widely and taking it in his mouth.
On the other side of the room Riku was finally waking up and was treated to the sight of his brother still inside Sora, only now with several fingers joining his cock and stretching the entrance further. He must have suffered a concussion when he fell, because any thoughts of making things comfortable for his friend vanished at the sight. Sora's eyes practically bugged out of his head when he suddenly felt Riku enter him as well. Squeezing his eyes closed as he felt even more enter him, tears falling as several more began to press, looking for entrance.
Far away from the chaos of the extreme rape party a figure sat in a room filled with TV screens. He had emo violet hair, emo black clothes, and an emo smile. Snickering slightly, Zexion leaned back in his chair. "I knew I could escape the yaoi crazed fanwriters if I hid well enough," he announced to the room as he watched the scene unfold on the monitors. Unfortunately he didn't have a monitor of his own room. If he did he would have noticed the long black and gray pony tail dangling from the ceiling.
He may also have seen the figure drop from the ceiling to whisper in his ear, "Ready to get your Zexy on?"
The. End. 3
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Snippet from working on this collaboration.
Ilovecats86: some people should be sober
Ilovecats86: and know EXACTLY what they're doing
kelle611: ooh
kelle611: good point
ilovecats86: Tseng won't drink
ilovecats86: actually he probably should
kelle611: no no
kelle611: heroin
ilovecats86: gods yes
kelle611: this is so fucked up
Ilovecats86: it is
Ilovecats86: insanely so
Ilovecats86: but I love it X3
And Wolf wants you to know that Zexy on equals Zexion. It took her a while to figure that one out apparently.