Author's Note: The other day, I was watching the Rock Tributes, and they were honoring The Who. The Who are one of, if not the, best bands of all time. This song, "Behind Blue Eyes" is one of my favorites, and I really thought it to suit Hawkfrost. It is a differnt point of view, I think, giving us a glimpse of what he really feels. If someone has done this song before let me know, although I think I am one of the first.
My name is Hawkfrost. I am a warrior of Riverclan. But I longed to be much more, more then a lowly warrior who obeyed all orders..
No one knows what it's like,
To be the bad man,
To be the sad man,
Behind blue eyes.
It's not like I'm saying I never did anything to make them hate me. But they don't know what it's like. It's not easy being evil. You're always lonely, and sad. But when you get that power, oh Starclan it's almost worth it.
No one knows what it's like,
To be hated,
To be fated,
To telling only lies,
I had no friends. It was my fate I suppose, being the sun of a treacherous murder. One of his children must follow in his steps. The cats who trusted me, I wasn't proud of them. I never spoke one word of truth to them.
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I had dreams, too. I wasn't going to be a bad leader. I would have made Riverclan great. Even if I can kill a cat without a thought, it was always for the good of my clan. When I met with Tigerstar, he taught us only good. He was a wonderful leader, and I hoped to be just like him.
I have hours, only lonely,
My love is vengeance,
That's never free.
I loved my half-brother. I gave him my heart and my trust. But when he started with Squirrleflight… my only love? The one who was meant for me? The tiger and fire prophecy was about us, Hawkfrost and Squirrleflight. But she fell for that half-brother of mine.
No one knows what it's like,
To feel these feelings
Like I do.
And I blame you!
I sit here, watching them. No one knows what it's like, to feel like I do. My love, torn away from me, my half-brother at the center of all of this. I would have been happy with my life with her. But now, the only thing I hunger is power. And I blame you, Brambleclaw.
No one bites back as hard,
On their anger,
None of my pain and woe,
Can show through.
When I get angry, can I simply slash the throat of the cat who made me angry? No. It would ruin my cover. When I get hurt, physically or mentally, can I let it show? No. Normal cats can cry and whine all they want. But not the might and strong Hawkfrost. I'm invincible. Or so it seems…
But my dreams,
They aren't as empty,
As my conscience seems to be.
I feel pain, too. When I hurt another cat to gain power, I feel it. I know it is wrong.. But.. If I don't, then how will I gain power to achive my dreams? I only kill when it cannot be avoided.
I have hours, only lonely,
My love is vengeance,
That's never free.
When I'm not with Tigerstar, I have no true friends. Sure, I have supporters and followers. But they aren't the friends that will stick by my side. It seems they don't want gain my love and trust. Like it would hurt them in some way. But that only makes me angrier.
When my fist clenches, crack it open,
Before I use it and lose my cool.
When I smile, tell me some bad news,
Before I laugh and act like a fool.
I have to keep my cool, even when it seems impossible with these mousebrains. Tigerstar will murmur in my ear, reminding me to wait for the right time, to keep my cool even in the heat of battle. When I am happy, he reminds me I have nothing to be happy for. Not yet.
If I swallow anything evil,
Put your finger down my throat.
If I shiver, please give me a blanket.
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat.
When I am tempted by something else, Tigerstar hisses that our plans are no where near complete, and draws me back. When I am sick, he will heal me faster then any herbs or medicine cat. He pushes me up when I fall, even if I feel he is using me. He would give the fur off of his back to keep me safe and well.
No one knows what it's like,
To be the bad man,
To be the sad man,
Behind blue eyes.
As I sit here and watch the other cats, mingling with friends, sometimes glancing up at me wearily, I have to hold back with all of my strength not to yowl. They don't know what it's like. But they will be sorry when I become leader. Then they will see. They will see then what it's like to be the evil, lonely, and sad cat behind blue eyes.
Behind Blue Eyes: The Who
No one knows what it's like,
To be the bad man,
To be the sad man,
Behind blue eyes.
No one knows what it's like,
To be hated,
To be fated,
To telling only lies.
But my dreams,
They aren't as empty.
As my conscience seems to be.
I have hours, only lonely.
My love is vengeance,
That's never free.
No one knows what it's like,
To feel these feelings,
Like I do.
And I blame you!
No one bites back as hard,
On their anger.
None of my pain and woe,
Can show through.
But my dreams,
They aren't as empty,
As my conscience seems to be.
I have hours, only lonely.
My love is vengeance,
That's never free.
When my fist clenches, crack it open,
Before I use it and lose my cool.
When I smile, tell me some bad news,
Before I laugh and act like a fool.
If I swallow anything evil,
Put your finger down my throat.
If I shiver, please give me a blanket.
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat.
No one knows what it's like,
To be the bad man,
To be the sad man,
Behind blue eyes.
Author's Note: Please send in any requests you have: A song, cat, pairing, idea.. And I will do my best to write a songfic on it. This is a collection, not just a oneshot.
Please Review! Thanks.
Silentshadow