Note - Well, this kinda came outta nowhere. Girl love going on here, so if you don't like it, click back. I don't own anything, except this cheeseburger, and you can't have that.
The sound of timid footsteps approaching made the Soldier of Time raise her head wearily. "Back to the scene of the crime." she muttered darkly, squeezing her ruby eyes shut.
A tired sigh was the only thing resembling any type of a verbal response from her visitor. The mattress dipped slightly beside her, and Setsuna felt her heart wrench painfully in her chest. How in the hell was she supposed to fix something like this? She was the guardian of time. She was responsible for making sure that little 'incidents' like this didn't occur.
She wasn't supposed to cause them.
"This is betrayal you know." Setsuna murmured. "Treason in it's highest form."
Still no response. She repressed the urge to scream and buried her face in her hands.
So wrong. So very very wrong.
She tried to replay last nights events in her mind, to take the fuzzy images running rampant through her memory, and paste them together into some sort of picture that would explain her current situation.
--
It had all started simply enough. She had just gotten a snack, and settled in to watch her guilty pleasure, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Setsuna could only imagine what the others would think to see her watching something so ridiculous, and thus it had become her darkest secret.
Not bad for someone her age.
How old was she again? Wait. Best not go there.
The doorbell startled her out of her junk food/cartoon induced reverie, and she scowled as she set her bag of M&M's down on the coffee table in front of her. Haruka and Michiru were gone for the evening, Hotaru was with Chibi-Usa, and she doubted any one of the Inners would trot on down to see her.
She rather enjoyed the fact that everyone found her so aloof and mysterious. It gave her lots of alone time, which in turn gave her plenty of time to think. Though these days, thinking just about anything seemed to get her into trouble. It must be what Haruka affectionately referred to as, 'Gate Syndrome.'
The blonde's theory was that Setsuna had spent so many years at the Gates of Time, alone, she had gone completely batty.
The olive skinned woman's lips quirked into a grin as she recalled the day Haruka had presented her rather preposterous theory. The great soldier of wind had found herself in a pink tutu, in front of all their friends, performing a rather bad karaoke version of 'You Sexy Thing' with no recollection as to how she got there.
Having control over the streams of time had it's perks indeed.
Setsuna's theory was, "It's kinda hard to call me the batty one when you're the one dressed like that."
Michiru had a hard time believing Setsuna was responsible for an 'incident' of such caliber. No one knew who she really was. She didn't even know who she was anymore. And now she was thinking.
The doorbell sounded again.
She briefly debated answering it. Her M&M's called to her from their discarded position on the table, and she really began to worry about herself when she began to imagine them crying her name.
Doorbell it was. No crazy people here. No sir.
Sir? She couldn't even remember the last time she saw a male in this house, aside from Mamoru.
Wait. Like he'd count.
Focus! Doorbell!
She ran her palms down the front of her t shirt and jeans, trying to smooth out her appearance. She never could tell when aloof mysterious Setsuna may need to appear. Best look the part. Whoever this was had better have a damn good excuse for pulling her away from her candy.
She opened the door and was rather surprised to see a sheepish looking Usagi on the other side.
"Serenity? What are you doing here?" the emerald haired woman asked in shock, the name slip completely taking her visitor aback.
The blonde blushed. "Please don't call me that yet. I'm still Usagi."
Setsuna shook her head in apology. "Of course. I'm sorry. Just a little surprised to see you out at this hour. Is everything alright?"
Her princess nodded. "Yes, well, no. I don't know. I don't think I should've come here. I'm sorry." she spoke in a rush, simultaneously turning to leave.
The guardian of time suddenly had a deep sense of foreboding. This was one of 'those' moments. One of those times where history as they know it, or will know it, could be completely rewritten. She wished she could break the rules, and take a peek at the streams, to get a sense, or a glimpse, of what was coming. It was her job to know when things like this were going to happen, and prevent fluxes if need be.
But she was involved now. This wasn't an outside incident, meaning she couldn't peek. Just by looking she could mess things up herself. Damn rules. Rules were meant to be broken, right?
Especially where pink tutus were involved.
Make a choice. Let her leave. Make her stay. Make a choice, before time makes it for you. Ruby eyes fluttered closed. Maybe she was crazy. A situation like this wouldn't drive a normal person up the wall.
She reached out and caught the blonde's arm just as she began to descend down the steps. "Wait. Don't leave. Come in. You're here for a reason, right?"
Usagi gave her a tired smile. "You tell me."
Setsuna raised an eyebrow. "You know the rules." she replied in gentle reproach.
"All too well."
The darker woman stiffened visibly and her heart wrenched painfully in her chest. Her mother. God. She looked so much like her mother. That would explain the name slip. Oh, this certainly couldn't end well.
"Princess. Please." she tried again. "It's just me here. We can talk if you like."
Funny. She could suddenly imagine mini Setsunas strapping on parachutes and ...
Usagi smiled.
--
"I'm sorry Setsuna. I know it's late." the blonde murmured quietly.
"Nonsense." the older woman replied, leading her princess to the couch. "Have a seat."
Usagi complied, and blinked rather cutely in confusion. "Um, what are you watching?"
Setsuna's eyes snapped up to the TV set, where Bloo was currently on a shin kicking spree at the mall. "Nothing." she replied quickly, grabbing the remote and switching it off. "The girls must have left it on."
"But I thought you were here alone?" the younger girl questioned.
"Yeah."
"..."
"Can we just pretend that never happened?" Setsuna mumbled.
Her princess broke into peals of golden laughter as the older woman slumped down in defeat next to her on the couch.
"Really Setsuna. I couldn't picture someone like you watching cartoons."
"They're not so bad. And besides. It's nice to have something rather mindless on sometimes."
"I'd imagine so." the blonde replied with a smile that broke her guardian's heart.
Setsuna grew serious, her gaze softening. "You've changed a lot Usagi."
Usagi nodded. "Since the defeat of Galaxia two years ago, I haven't quite felt like myself."
The soldier of time had to agree. The blonde had grown up considerably since then. Gone was the klutzy crybaby. Gone were the eyes full of innocence and trust. It was rather bizarre. It was like watching her princess slowly become her mother, a little more each day. She could only assume it was the great Powers that Be, preparing both the young girl and the world for the arrival of Neo Queen Serenity.
"Are you scared?" Setsuna asked quietly.
"Not really." Usagi replied. "I feel this overwhelming sense of calm. Like everything is going just as is should be. That's kind of what brings me here."
The emerald haired woman nodded in response, and waited for her to continue.
"I get tired, you know? Tired of everything being so perfectly planned out. I'm not happy. I...I figured you of all people would understand that most."
Understand? Oh yeah. She understood. She watched the person she loved being brutally cut down, and was helpless to stop it. She knew it was going to happen. She knew when it was going to happen. But she was locked in. A prisoner of time, and plans, and of how things are supposed to be. Any plan was just a prayer to father time.
She was just a prisoner.
"It's Mamoru, isn't it?" Setsuna stated rather bluntly. It had to be. She had watched this girl grow up over countless lifetimes. Silently watching over her, protecting her. Growing to love her. Each lifetime it was the same. Serenity and Endymion. Always together. Always in love. Always destined to find each other.
She was alone. Destined to find nothing.
The girl that owned her heart, body, and soul smiled sadly. "Yeah. He's been seeing someone else you know, for three months now."
That took the time guardian aback. Chibi-Usa was still here. That was impossible.
Ohhh yeah. She knew this wasn't going to end well. The one that was supposed to know everything apparently knew nothing, and was stunned into complete silence. Why didn't she get the memo on this one? This seemed rather important. She'd have to fire her secretary. Did she even have one?
"I was honestly not that upset." Usagi continued. "It was almost a relief."
"...excuse me?" the older woman sputtered out in a rather unmysterious and undignified way.
"Don't get me wrong." the blonde stated calmly. "I did love him. Do love him. But I'm not in love with him."
Setsuna could already see all the strings of time scattering about where they ought not be, and that terrified her. "U...Usagi. Princess. This isn't something you can just choose."
"Isn't it? I've lived this life, and all the others before it, exactly the way I was supposed to. I'm tired. I'm just so, so tired." She turned slightly to face her soldier. "I can see how happy such a way of life has made you."
Crimson eyes narrowed. "What I do, I do for you, for her, for the world. I'd give up my own happiness for that."
"My mother, right? You mean Serenity?"
Setsuna felt her heart plummet. This is what she deserved for secluding herself for so long. A complete and total lack of people skills.
"That's kind of why I'm here." Usagi said softly. "Tell me about her. Please."
The older woman fell silent. How could she possibly even begin to explain?
"I remember things. About you...and her. I...I need to hear them. Please."
Setsuna rose to her feet. She had several options here, and had quickly narrowed it down to three choices.
1.) Get drunk. Very very drunk.
2.) Transform into Pluto and just portal herself somewhere out of this horrible situation. Maybe Bermuda.
3.)Tackle her princess, ravish her senseless, and wait for the powers that be to come and take her away and dole out whatever punishments screwing up the future in such a manner would warrant.
Being a mature, responsible, and well respected comrade amongst her fellow soldiers, she opted for the path that would let her snag a few M&M's before she began her journey into hell.
"I'm going to have some wine. Would you like some Usagi?"
--
The time guardian sank bank into the couch, glass in hand. Third glass, to be precise. She had yet to speak a word, and concentrated instead on draining her liquid courage as fast as possible. Beside her, Usagi fidgeted restlessly, unsure if she should speak again or not. Setsuna watched her from the corner of her eye, and noted again with rising discomfort just how beautiful her princess had grown. That portal was starting to look mighty damn fine.
"This must be difficult for you." the blonde spoke at last, breaking the silence.
Difficult? No. Difficult is losing the only person who had ever loved her after eons of loneliness. It was difficult to watch over that person's daughter for countless lifetimes, and for more to come. It was difficult to fall in love with the one she was supposed to be protecting, and even more difficult to watch said person grow up, marry, and have children of her own. Funny. In the future it was her duty to watch over Chibi-Usa. Oh dear god. Someone please tell her she wasn't going to fall for Chibi-Usa too. THAT would be difficult.
It was some big cosmic loop of a joke, and it was really starting to piss her off. She was half tempted now to jump back in time and take over a country, just so she could do things HER way. No sick cycles. No endless loop of loneliness. She could be the supreme ruler.
Ooooh. There was a thought. Egypt maybe. She had always liked Egyptian history. Pharaoh. She liked that idea!
"Setsuna?"
"Pharaoh Setsuna." The older woman corrected absently.
"Huh?"
Setsuna slowly became aware of the fact that her princess was now staring at her with a rather horrified expression on her face. Uh oh.
"Gate Syndrome." she explained simply.
The blonde's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Wha? Does this have anything to do with the tutu incident?"
"Ugh." the older woman scowled. "Why is it that everything I've done becomes known as an incident?"
Usagi giggled. "What else would we call them?"
Setsuna blinked. "I have no idea."
The blonde burst into laughter again, and Setsuna's heart flip-flopped. Totally worth looking like an ass.
"I never knew you could be like this, Pluto."
"Neither did I." the guardian replied dryly.
This brought forth more giggles from the blonde, and Setsuna had to join in. Funny. Her princess could bring out the best in anyone. Once their laughter had subsided, the older woman mentally steeled herself and drained the remainder of her glass.
"I'll tell you whatever you need to know." she said at last, reaching for the bottle and refreshing her courage anew.
"Did you love my mother?" Usagi asked quietly.
"Of course I did. Everyone did. Just like they do you."
"But...um...did you love her?"
Setsuna swallowed hard. Huh. This was actually pretty difficult. "...yes. Very much so."
The slender blonde nodded slowly. "And she loved you back?"
Her guardian laughed bitterly. "I would like to think so." she frowned slightly, and shook her head as though clearing her thoughts. "What exactly do you remember?"
"Just about everything." Usagi admitted. "You were always there. Always with her. I was a little jealous, I have to say."
Pluto blinked. "Jealous? Like I was keeping her away from you?"
A light blush spread over the blonde's features. "No. I always sorta had a crush on you. I remember wishing you had spent that kind of time with me."
Begin emergency evacuation sequence.
"What?"
Usagi's blush deepened. "I couldn't help it. You were always so amazing, and smart, and pretty."
Setsuna was confused now. Just how much wine had she let the little blonde have?
"I hope I'm not freaking you out." her princess said worriedly.
"No. No. It's just a little surprising." the older woman replied. "You know, after her...passing, I watched over you." she smiled softly. "It was the last thing your mother ever asked of me. I'd like to think she'd be very happy with the person you've become."
"Watched over me?"
Setsuna nodded. "Since you were a baby. Every reincarnation. I've watched you grow up over and over."
Blue eyes softened and welled up with concern. "It must have been so lonely."
The older woman shrugged lightly. "Not really. I think after all that time, I know you better than I know myself."
"How did you know that you loved her?" Usagi asked gently.
Setsuna gazed off into the distance, staring into nothing, her eyes becoming slightly unfocused. "I just knew. It was like trying to breathe without air when I wasn't around her. Even when I was around her, it was all I could do to stay afloat. I always felt like I would drown. She was so warm, and gentle." her features melted into a sad smile. "Just being around her made me feel as though nothing else mattered. She always made me feel as though I was the most wonderful person in the universe." Crimson eyes fluttered closed, and she opened them again, bringing herself back into the present. "She was amazing."
"Thank you, Setsuna."
"For what?"
"You helped me clarify some things. I know for sure now that I can't go back to Mamoru."
Rapid panic began to fill the guardian's heart. "What?"
"I just can't. The longer I've thought about it, the more convinced I am that he doesn't love me."
Setsuna suddenly found herself to be stone cold sober. "Usagi. You have to think about this. You're not just messing with your own future, but the future of the entire planet. And your daughter! What would happen to her?"
"She's still here. It's been months, and she's still here."
Something was definitely wrong here. Why hadn't she seen a flux like this coming?
"Usagi..."
"No." the blonde stated firmly. "Think about it like I have. Every time something went wrong, or things got extremely tough, where was Mamoru? How many times did he leave me because he thought it would be in everyone's best interests? What kind of love is that?"
Setsuna rose to her feet. "Sometimes, you have to do things, things that you never dreamed that you would be capable of otherwise, to protect everyone. Duty and responsibility should come before anything else, or before any selfish desires."
Usagi's eyes flashed an angry blue. "What's so selfish about wanting to be happy? After everything we've all been through to protect this planet, I think we deserve some measure of happiness. You'd go back, wouldn't you? If you could, you'd go back to the Moon Kingdom's last night and do things differently."
The older woman stiffened visibly. This was so much worse than she had prepared herself for. "I can't believe you'd throw everything away like this."
"Who says anything is being thrown away? We're all still here, Chibi-Usa included."
Setsuna didn't want to admit it, but that tiny detail was what was bothering her the most. What the hell was going on? Was Usagi right? Her head swam dizzily, and she sunk back down onto the couch. This was all so very wrong.
"Alright." she muttered at last, pushing a shaky hand through emerald bangs. "Alright."
"Besides." the princess continued calmly. "I'm in love with someone else."
Setsuna sighed wearily. "It's Rei, isn't it?"
The little blonde was taken aback. "Rei? No. Oh no. We'd kill each other."
"Too true."
"And anyway, I'm pretty sure another blonde has her sights on her."
Setsuna scoffed. "Rei has no idea what's about to hit her, does she?"
"Not a clue." Usagi agreed, smiling broadly. "Thank you Setsuna."
"For what?" she asked tiredly.
"I was afraid that you would really freak out."
"I kind of did. Am. I don't even know." Setsuna admitted. "But I know, in my heart, you're doing the right thing. You always have, even when the rest of us doubted you."
"Thank you." the princess whispered, sliding forward on the couch and wrapping her arms around her soldier.
The older woman felt her heart lurch in her chest. A pain she was all too familiar with gripped her soul as she slowly returned the embrace. Another grim reminder of what she couldn't have.
"Aren't you going to ask?" Usagi asked quietly, resting her head on the older woman's shoulder.
"I'm almost afraid to."
"Just ask."
Setsuna swallowed hard. That horrid sense of impending doom was back, and she was pretty sure there were no M&Ms where she was about to go. The blonde lifted her head, and smiled warmly.
This was so not good.
Time felt like it began to move at a crawl, and she would know. Time was her thing, wasn't it?
"Usagi, wait...you..."
As soon as those warm, soft pink lips pressed against hers, Setsuna felt herself check out for the day. It was intoxicating. Her warmth, her scent, it was almost too much. She had wanted this for years. For lifetimes. And here it was. She felt her heart flutter as her blood roared in her ears. Olive toned arms wound around her princess and pulled her closer, and before she could regain control of herself, she deepened the kiss. Lilacs, vanilla, everything that was sweet and pure was there. Dear God. She was not going to be able to just walk away from this.
Setsuna finally had to pull away and take deep, shaky breaths. All over her body her muscles quivered weakly. What...what had she done?
"Are you okay?" Usagi asked gently, resting a beautifully smooth hand on her guardian's cheek.
The soldier of time found she couldn't answer that question. Not now. Probably not ever.
The blonde blushed. "So. That's what real love feels like."
Setsuna opened her mouth, to protest, to deny, to say ANYTHING that would stop this horrendous act of treason. But those beautiful blue eyes held her captive, and any self control she had left her.
'Was it wrong?' she thought wildly. 'Was Usagi really right above everything?' Hell. At this point, Setsuna was pretty sure she would agree with Usagi on anything.
"Are you sure?" the older woman asked quietly. 'Even if you weren't, I don't think I could control myself anymore.'
Her princess nodded, and years of frustration and loneliness swept over the soldier. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the pure thrill of the moment, but either way, she found herself leading the blonde through the house towards her bedroom.
They crashed down onto her bed, a tangled mess of tongues and lips. Setsuna pressed a kiss to the blonde's forehead and sighed. "I never knew. I never knew."
"Would life be worth living if you knew everything?" she whispered in reply, pulling her soldier closer and kissing her.
The time guardian's world fell out from underneath her.
--
Setsuna's first thought in the morning was one of severe loneliness. A dream. It must have been another dream. She hated waking up and being reminded of the fact that nothing was permanent and that she was alone. But a gentle rustling to her right snapped her fully awake in mere seconds.
It wasn't a dream.
That meant...
Oh dear god.
--
Back in the present, Setsuna still cradled her head in her hands. She had failed. As a Soldier. As a protector. She had committed the ultimate act of treason. Usagi sat beside her silently on the bed, a hand resting on the older woman's leg.
"What have we done Usagi?" she asked weakly.
"Absolutely nothing that was wrong." the blonde whispered reassuringly, pressing a kiss to Setsuna's cheek.
"How can you know that?"
"I just do."
Crimson eyes squeezed shut. Oh god. To be anywhere but here. Anywhere but here.
Her world exploded in a flash of white light.
--
When she opened her eyes again, she recognized where she was at once, and instantly felt ill. The Moon Kingdom.
A figure enshrouded in white stood before her, and Setsuna had to force her eyes to focus. Serenity. It was Serenity. Her legs immediately felt weak, and crumpled beneath her. Her stomach dropped to the floor as she burst into uncontrollable sobs.
"What have I done? Oh god. What have I done?"
Serenity knelt before her, and pulled the sobbing woman's head into her lap, gently running her fingers through thick emerald locks.
"Pluto. Please don't cry."
This only succeeded in making the soldier sob harder.
"Pluto, you've done nothing wrong. Please don't cry."
But the floodgates had been opened. The guardian of time cried until she had nothing left to give, her breath hitching in her throat. Serenity remained silent, and continued to stroke her hair. Hours, days, or even months could have gone by, and Setsuna wouldn't have known the difference.
It felt as though it had taken an eternity to settle down, but at last she regained control of her emotions, and voiced the question racing through her mind. "What's going on? Is everything going to be alright?"
The queen smiled gently. "I assure you, everything is going to be fine."
"I don't understand."
"You should, better than anyone." Serenity replied gently. "You know time is like a road. It begins and ends, but the path you take to get there is completely up to you."
"But...Endymion, and the future. And Small Lady."
"Endymion will find his happiness, and Small Lady is fine, I promise you. Once you get back, you can check if you like."
Setsuna let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. "Is that why I couldn't see any of this coming?"
The queen gave her a mischievous grin. "Would it be any fun if you had?"
The time soldier felt a stab of guilt. "Are you angry with me?"
"Of course not. It didn't surprise me really. I'm sure to you it feels as though you've spent an eternity with her." she gently ran a hand over Setsuna's face and smiled warmly. "I told you to take care of her, and you did. You did very well Pluto. Besides," she continued gently. "do you really think I wanted to see you in mourning forever?"
"I'm sorry." Setsuna murmured. "I should have done things differently back then."
"If you had, I'm almost sure that everyone you know and love would be dead."
"Serenity?"
"Take care of her Pluto. Please. She does love you."
"I...I'm scared."
"Don't be. You can finally have what you deserve. Just remember that I love you both."
Setsuna opened her mouth to reply, but everything vanished, and she was back in her room, a very concerned Usagi overlooking her.
"Setsuna! Are you alright?"
The soldier took one look at her princess and burst into tears again, but this time, they were tears of joy. She pulled Usagi close and just held her, alternating between laughing and crying.
"...um, is this the gate thing again?"
Setsuna laughed harder and kissed Usagi soundly. "I just know now. I know that everything will be alright."
The blonde smiled. "Ah. You said hi to mom, huh?"
"How did you..."
Usagi laughed. "Who do you think convinced me to follow my heart?"
--
A few hours later, Setsuna awoke with a true smile. It had felt like lifetimes since she had been so happy. She gently disentangled herself from Usagi's embrace and decided it was finally time to get something to help with her hangover. It had been a really bizarre night, and she shuddered to think of what would have happened had she not answered the door. She gently kissed the top of her princess's head and pulled the blankets up around her nude form. Everything was so different now, it was almost too good to be true.
A flash of sun from behind her curtains caused her head to pound angrily, and she smiled in spite of herself. Almost perfect.
After retrieving her robe from the back of her door, she made her way down to the kitchen to procure some aspirin and marvel at the world she never knew existed.
"Well! Good morning Setsuna!"
So much for marveling.
The time guardian flinched. That was way to perky for Haruka. She spun on her heels and felt a blush rise to her face when she caught sight of the blonde's rather cocky smile.
"Have a good night?"
"Yes." Setsuna replied calmly. "I did."
"Really? What did you do all evening?"
Her face grew hotter despite her best efforts to keep the raging blush down. "Nothing really. My usual." she said lightly, gesturing back to her candy on the coffee table.
"Uh huh."
Setsuna felt the muscles along her jaw twitch. "Listen, Haruka, if you've got something to say..."
The blonde grinned even wider. "I have always wondered..."
The time guardian dreaded it, but she took the bait anyway. "Wondered what?"
"I've always wondered why you and the little rabbit had the exact same eyes."
"Eyes?" she echoed dumbly. Then it hit her. Chibi-Usa. She had always wondered how the child of two blue eyed parents ended up with crimson eyes. Deep crimson. Like her own. Oh. OH. Okay.
She really needed to sit down.
"Huh." Haruka said with a chuckle. "I guess we have our answer now."
But first, she had a feeling there was going to be a little 'incident.'
AN : I just felt so bad for poor Pluto. No love. All angst. This is a product of extreme lack of sleep and overall boredom.