A/N: Post ep.5x24, "Born to Kill." Not beta'd. Rated T for language.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Calleigh walked into the DNA lab, sighing in frustration as she still couldn't find the man she was looking for.
Maxine and Natalia stood at the end of the lab laughing about something, when Valera noticed Calleigh.
"Hey."
"Hey, Maxine. Natalia," Calleigh said. "Have either of you seen Eric?"
After yesterday, Eric was avoiding her like the plague. She thought he was being ridiculous, and when she found him she was going to tell him just that. They couldn't work like this.
"Umm. Actually, I think he went home early," Natalia said.
"He went home?" Calleigh asked incredulously. They were in the middle of investigating a double homicide and he just ups and walks away?
"Yeah. H told him to leave. He looked like hell.'
Calleigh came over to Natalia and Valera and plopped down on a lab stool with a huff, tossing her case file to the table.
"Great," she complained.
Natalia's brows furrowed at Calleigh's uncharacteristic irritation with her best friend. "What's going on?"
Calleigh saw her concern and sought to shut it down. "Oh nothing," she said with a great imitation of a nonchalant laugh. "Just this case. What were you ladies laughing about when I came in?"
Maxine cracked a guilty smile. "I had a date last night."
"Oh yeah," Calleigh recalled. "With the dance instructor. How'd it go?"
The DNA tech shifted her weight on her feet, looking more than a little embarrassed.
"Oh, come on, Valera. Quit the shy act. Just tell her," Natalia urged playfully, knocking Max's elbow with her own.
"Ugh, fine," she said. "He told me he loves me." Her face turned a deep shade of red and she buried it in her hands. Natalia cracked up laughing beside her.
Calleigh was genuinely surprised. "After three dates?"
"I know," came a miserable moan from behind Valera's hands.
"What did you do?" Calleigh asked.
"I panicked! I mean, Esteban is sweet and charming and sexy as hell—but I've only known him like a month. How could he just say something like that?"
Calleigh thought about it. "Maybe it's a Latin thing," she laughed. "They're very passionate, you know."
Valera turned a different kind of red now. She swiped a stack of papers from the lab table and began to fan her face. "Mmm. There's one thing you got right. Who knew all those 'horizontal tango' jokes were actually true?"
"Oh! Way too much information!" Natalia cried, visibly cringing.
"Well, it's true! Don't you dare tell me you've never had hot, Latin sex before," Valera winked saucily at Natalia. "You dated Eric-fucking-Delko."
Both Natalia and Calleigh's eyebrows shot toward the ceiling. "Valera!"
The young woman just sent them both an 'Oh, please' look, before she pegged Natalia with an expectant glare. "Hot. Sex."
Natalia met her glare equally for a minute before caving. Valera was good.
"Fine, it's true. But," she interrupted Maxine's gloating, "I've dated plenty of Latin men and I still say it's a pathetic stereotype." Natalia desperately wanted to change the subject. "Anyway, you never answered Calleigh's question. What did you do?"
"I did answer it. Horizontal. Tango," Valera said with a shit-eating grin plastered to her face.
Calleigh and Natalia burst into laughter. "Max, that's awful! He probably thinks you're madly in love with him now!" Calleigh exclaimed.
"Eh. Wouldn't be the first time," she said dismissively, tossing her 'fan' back to the lab table.
Now Natalia was curious. "No? Exactly how many men have professed their undying love for you?"
Maxine stopped and mentally calculated. "Seven. No, eight," she said seriously.
Calleigh and Natalia stared at their friend in shock. "Seriously?" Natalia asked.
"Yeah."
"And how many men have you said it back to?" Calleigh wondered.
Again, Valera mentally calculated. "Six."
Natalia let out a low whistle and said, "Geez, girl."
For the first time, Valera was the shocked one. "What, how many times have you said it?" she asked.
"Three. Twice in college. Once afterward, with Nick."
"That's it?"
"Yep."
Valera wasn't satisfied, so she turned to Calleigh. "What about you?"
Calleigh put her hands up in front of her. "Oh, no," she said. "I'm not going there."
"Oh, come on," the tech whined. "How many times have you said it?"
Calleigh clenched her teeth and shook her head. "No way. Sorry, Valera."
Valera wasn't letting her off the hook that easily. Calleigh was the girl next door. The gun-toting girl next door. She was sexy, intelligent, sassy, and shy in one: the woman every man wanted and every other woman wanted to hate but couldn't.
"Fine. See if you get your DNA results back in time this week," she said with an evil grin.
Calleigh narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't."
"Wouldn't I?"
Damn. Valera was good.
"Fine. Twice. I've said it twice."
"To who?"
Calleigh gave an exasperated sigh. "If you must know, to my high school boyfriend and the guy I dated for a couple years in college."
"Did you mean it?" Valera queried.
"What's with the twenty questions?"
Natalia chimed in, "No, I think that's a valid question. I mean, I've only said 'I love you' three times, but I meant it every time."
"Well, I did, too," Calleigh defended. "I was young and in love. What can I say?" She turned the tables on Maxine. "But you. You can't have been in love six times. Truly in love."
"Well, no. But I sure thought so at the time," she said with a little waggle of her eyebrows. She dropped onto the stool next to Calleigh, a thought evidently playing on her mind. Turning to Natalia, she said, "So you and Delko never…"
Natalia looked utterly taken aback. "Max—" she warned.
"C'mon, Nat. Innocent question." Calleigh wasn't so sure about that.
"You're nosy today," Natalia noted.
Valera just scoffed. "I'm nosy every day. Now spill."
Natalia laughed at that and took a seat across from Calleigh and Maxine. She leaned her elbows on the table and placed her chin on her hands before she responded.
"It wasn't like that with me and Eric," she said. "I mean, we only dated briefly, and we were never exclusive."
Valera nodded her head knowingly. "I guess he is a bit of a ladies' man," she said to no one in particular.
Natalia sat up abruptly and pinned the lab tech with a disapproving glare. "Don't say that, Maxine."
She may not have been serious with Eric, but they were together at a time when she was still healing from an abusive marriage, and he was coping with his sister's illness. More than anything, they just talked. Now, they had grown into good friends; Natalia would always be defensive when it came to Eric (even if he did pimp her out to Ryan…).
"Why not, Nat? It's true."
Natalia shook her head. "You don't know that. Delko's been through hell the last few years. Speedle died, then Marisol, and then he gets shot?"
The playful atmosphere in the room had been replaced with an awkward tension that Valera didn't seem to notice.
"So that gives him license to chase every skirt in Miami?" she asked, ignoring the stormy faces of her colleagues. "I don't think so."
"Stop it, Maxine," Natalia said, annoyed. "Delko's not who you think he is."
"You just said that you only dated him for a few weeks," Valera parried. "How do you know so much about him?"
"Because we talked, Max! We're friends. I pay attention."
Calleigh sat on her perch deep in thought, so much so that she didn't immediately realize that Valera had turned to her with her questions. "Calleigh, you're his best friend. Do you honestly believe that Eric Delko is not the epitome of a Casanova?"
The ballistics expert squirmed under the penetrating gaze being sent her way.
"I agree with Natalia, Maxine," she said slowly, treading dangerous waters. "Eric's not that guy."
Valera rolled her eyes for the hundredth time, not believing. She sat back in her stool and crossed her arms. "Whatever, that man could have any woman he wanted."
The tension in the room had ratcheted up to an unbearable pitch. Natalia and Calleigh remained silent, because both of them knew that Eric Delko couldn't, in fact, have any woman he wanted. Nat saw it in Eric's eyes every time he looked at Calleigh. And Calleigh, well, she knew.
Natalia spoke up. "Max," she said quietly but firmly, "Don't jump to conclusions when you don't have all the information."
"What exactly is that supposed to mean?"
"It means—" Natalia sighed in frustration, and her words spilled out in a rush, with the small hope that Maxine would finally understand and drop this. "Valera, Eric's never said it before. To anyone."
The woman's eyebrows shot up. She and Natalia were so caught up in their own moment that neither one of them noticed that Calleigh had stopped breathing.
Valera sat up straighter in her chair. "You just proved my point, Nat."
Natalia wanted to scream. "How's that?" she asked, exasperated with the woman sitting across from her.
"He's with…how many women? And he still can't say it?"
Nat shook her head vehemently. "No. You've got it wrong. It's—" This was such an invasion of Eric's privacy. But Natalia would rather have Valera understand than let her keep this outrageous picture of Eric in her head. He deserved better than that.
"It's not that he can't say it. God, Max, can't you see it's the exact opposite?"
Valera didn't follow. Natalia sighed again. People only saw what they wanted to see; she hated that.
"Eric's waiting, Maxine."
"Waiting for what?" She was genuinely confused.
"For someone to deserve to hear it, I guess." She shot down Valera's skeptical look with a fierce glare.
"When we were dating, we both knew it wasn't serious, so we could talk about…serious…things without having to freak out about them," Nat explained. "I asked him this same question one day," she said, eyes glued to the table and a slight blush to her cheeks.
"And he fed you some bullshit line about waiting," Valera snorted. "Right."
Anger flared in Natalia. "Enough, Maxine. You think you know him, but you don't."
"And you do?" the woman tossed back.
"This conversation is over. You obviously can't understand how someone could possibly want to say 'I love you' to only one woman. For the rest of his life." She was seething.
"Whoa, Nat," her friend backtracked. "Calm down… You know, if I didn't know any better…" She gave Natalia an appraising look.
"If you're suggesting I still have feelings for Delko, you're way off the mark," Natalia stated, brooking no arguments.
"Why so defensive, then?"
"Because," Natalia said. "Men like Eric Delko don't just come along every day." Simple as that, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
And it was the most obvious thing in the world. And right now, sitting in the middle of the DNA lab at the Miami-Dade County Headquarters, Calleigh Duquesne felt like the biggest fool in the world.
About this time, Natalia finally noticed how quiet Calleigh had been. "Calleigh," she said carefully, taking in the expression on her friend's face. "Are you okay?"
No answer.
"Calleigh?" she asked, a little more concerned now.
The blonde woman's head snapped up to meet her friend's, urgency swiftly becoming the dominant emotion on her face.
"Natalia, Eric told you that?"
Nat was confused. "He told me what?"
Calleigh swallowed hard. "He—he told you that, about…the rest of his life?"
"His words exactly," Natalia said, the 'V' of her nose still wrinkled in confusion.
"Oh God," Calleigh breathed to herself, placing a shaky hand to her clammy forehead. She was going to be sick.
Max quickly forgot her argumentative spirit as she studied the woman sitting beside her. Calleigh had turned ghost white, with a tinge of sickly green, and Valera could see the sheen of sweat on her brow. "Cal?"
Calleigh looked briefly at her two girlfriends, before dropping her gaze to the table in front of her. She braced herself with one hand on its edge as her rapidly increasing breath caused her head to spin.
Without meeting the eyes of her companions, Calleigh gasped, "I—I need to go." And with that she launched herself off the stool and out of the lab, leaving Natalia and Maxine behind her, frozen in astonishment.
"What the hell was that all about?" Valera asked after a moment.
Natalia had a damn good idea, but she wasn't about to say anything. She settled for a shake of her head a little white lie. "I have no clue."
Calleigh was already at the elevators, waiting impatiently for the car to arrive. What had she done? Finally, the elevator came and she boarded impatiently, eventually making her way downstairs to the locker room. She threw her locker open, grabbed her purse, and hurtled out of the room toward her car in the parking lot.
In less than fifteen minutes, she pulled up in front of Eric's condominium. She switched the car off and sat for a moment. The whole way over, Calleigh wondered what in the world she was doing. She still didn't know, but she knew it was something she should have done all along.
At some point during her short drive, Calleigh realized what just happened: she deserted her work station and left an ongoing case with no one to investigate it. The fact that she was willing to drop everything like this shocked her. Then again, it didn't.
She flipped open her phone and dialed as she drove, hoping against hope that someone answered. She silently sent a prayer of 'thanks' upward as a voice came over the line. Calleigh quickly explained her situation, apologizing for her behavior, asking for forgiveness, and receiving none. Somehow, it didn't really bother her.
Now, parked outside Eric's condo, she surveyed the street and spotted his car. He was home. Taking a deep breath and throwing caution to the wind, Calleigh exited her car and boldly made the journey to his front door.
Eric was inside, sitting on his couch and staring at nothing. Horatio cornered him during his lunch break and insisted that he go home. Truthfully, Eric hadn't slept much the night before. How could he possibly sleep?
He jumped at the loud knock on his door. Eric was in no mood for company, and he chose to ignore the knocking. That was increasingly more difficult as the knocking turned to incessant pounding. What the hell?
Suddenly, the pounding stopped and he heard a voice come through the door. "Eric? Eric, I know you're in there. Open the door."
It was Calleigh. The last person he wanted to see right now. Or ever. Eric stayed silent and did not move from the couch, afraid that if he moved at all, the gaping hole in his chest would rip just a little bit more.
"Damn it, Eric. Don't do this!" Calleigh yelled. "Open the door!"
If she kept this up, one of his neighbors was bound to call the cops. He sighed. "Go away, Calleigh," Eric called, not bothering to keep the emotion out of his voice.
Calleigh froze when she heard him on the other side of the door. At least he was okay. Her resolve strengthened: he would not shut her out. "I will kick down this door, Eric. Open it!" she demanded.
"No!"
"Open the damn door!" Calleigh cried.
A small voice just on the other side of the door startled her. "Why should I?" Eric asked in quiet defeat.
"Because I want to talk to you," Calleigh said softly, all the fight gone out of her.
"So talk."
Calleigh dropped her bag to the ground and placed both her hands on the doorframe, forehead resting against the door. She tried in vain to get to Eric, to be as close as possible through this door.
"Eric, I'm sorry," she whispered, her face millimeters from paint and wood.
She heard him exhale heavily on the other side. "Sorry for what?" Eric muttered. "You didn't do anything."
A sob hitched in Calleigh's chest. How badly had she hurt this man? She battled the lump in her throat, barely managing a strained whisper. "Yes I did, Eric. I lied to you. I lied to myself," she said, a stubborn tear escaping from the confines of her lashes.
"What?"
"Yesterday—" another tear rolled down her cheek as she fought through the thickness in her voice. Calleigh sniffled and gently beat her forehead against the door, willing for the pain to go away. It wouldn't, she realized with a deep sigh.
"Eric, please open the door," she begged. "I have something to say to you, and I want to do it face to face."
Calleigh waited for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, slowly, she heard the click of the lock, and watched as the door swung open, inch by nerve-wracking inch. Eric's face appeared, and Calleigh's stomach dropped at the passive expression she found there. "Can I come in?"
"I don't think that's a good idea, Calleigh," Eric said, his stony face still betraying nothing.
Calleigh closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She would not give up. The thought of the consequences if she did forced another tear to escape her eyelids. She felt its salty trail run down her cheek, and she squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that wished to follow. Calleigh's entire body hummed with the effort of conquering her emotions.
Eric ignored the lump in his own throat, and he watched as a second tear fell from Calleigh's lashes. She made no move to wipe it away, her hands clenching the doorframe, her head bowed. She was trembling from head to toe.
Another muted sob hitched in Calleigh's chest. She pursed her lips, shook her head, but to no avail. She lost the fight.
Tears streamed down her porcelain face, now, and Calleigh brought her hands from the wooden frame to wipe them away. She finally opened her eyes and locked Eric in a teary, determined stare.
Eric stood silently witnessing Calleigh's walls crumble, slightly awe-struck at how beautiful she was, completely awe-struck at how much more he loved her right now. He hadn't thought that was possible. He remained rooted to his spot on the other side of the doorjamb, no matter how much he wished he could gather her into his arms.
As it was, Eric couldn't move. He was drowning in the depths of her emerald orbs, made bright by tears and fiery…something. He couldn't place it. It seemed like something he'd seen before in her look, the look she saved just for him, only it was multiplied a thousand-fold.
"Eric, I know you're upset with me," he heard Calleigh say quietly at length, tears still streaming down her face. "You have every right to be," she said lamely, ducking her head.
Eric stopped her, the little bit of anger left in his heart for her rearing its head. "Calleigh, don't. Don't try to spare my feelings. You made yourself pretty clear last night." He made a move to go inside and shut the door, but Calleigh leapt onto the threshold, grabbing his arm and pulling him to face her. Inches separated them.
"No, I didn't!" Calleigh cried softly. She stuttered, trying to find the right words. "Eric, last night—"
No, the words wouldn't come. She desperately searched his chocolate eyes, begging him to understand. They'd always had this perfect sense of nonverbal communication, except when it came to this. Keeping eye contact with Eric, she tried again.
"You were waiting."
Eric's breath caught in his lungs. Her sweet, simple words shook him deeply. Calleigh watched as something shifted in Eric. "You were waiting," she whispered. "You've been waiting. I just couldn't see that you were waiting for me."
Eric bit his lip, closing his eyes against the onslaught of Calleigh's, remembering how she had looked at him yesterday as she walked away with another man. He couldn't handle it. "Why are you doing this now?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly with emotion.
'Why are you doing this?' Her own words from the night before rang in her ears. 'Why now?'
'I don't want to lose you, Calleigh.'
'You'll never lose me, Eric. You're my best friend.' She laid a hand over his.
Eric pulled away from her touch, indignation flashing in his eyes. 'That's not what I mean and you know it.'
She sighed. 'Eric, I can't do this.'
'Why not, Calleigh? Because you don't have feelings for me? I don't buy that.'
She crossed her arms and refused to answer. He pressed on, coming to stand in front of her, holding her arms in his hands and completely invading her personal space. 'Why Jake?'
'Stop it, Eric," Calleigh said fiercely, stepping firmly out of his grasp. 'I've made my decision.'
'Then why am I not convinced that you think you made the right one?' Eric challenged.
'It's not up to you!'
'No, it's not. You're right. But I never even got the chance to fight for a say.'
Calleigh could find nothing to say to that. She glanced up at Eric and knew that she couldn't look away. His eyes threatened to undo her.
'Pick me, Calleigh.'
Those three words stripped Calleigh raw. He was begging her. Eric was begging her to love him. She shut her eyes tight and fought the tears.
'I think you should go, Eric,' she said in a dead, monotone voice. When she looked up at the Cuban man standing before her, she saw a broken man.
He met her eyes and said, 'No.'
'What?'
'I said no. I'm not leaving.' Eric wasn't through yet. He was going to say his piece before he left.
'Calleigh, I love you.' Her eyes grew wide as saucers. 'I'm in love with you. And I can't just sit by and do nothing while you run into the arms of another man. Wait,' he said as Calleigh tried to interrupt angrily. 'I know this is your decision. But at least have all the facts…'
She crossed her arms once more and blinked back the tears, waiting for him to continue.
'Today you said that you trust me with your life. Now I'm asking you to trust me with your heart. You have another choice, Cal. I love you. I love you and I want you to pick me.'
A single tear ran from the corner of Calleigh's eye, but she brushed it away quickly. Her mind screamed with all the reasons she and Eric couldn't be together.
'I'm sorry, Eric,' Calleigh whispered without looking at him. She never saw his face, and he said nothing more. After a long moment, she felt him move past her; she heard the door shut. Eric was gone, and Calleigh's heart had gone with him.
Calleigh came back to the present. She was standing in Eric's doorway, now, close enough to reach out and wrap her arms around his body. Taking a small step forward, she did just that. Eric tensed immediately, but Calleigh held on to him. Eventually, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, too.
She leaned up to nestle her head on his shoulder, her lips close to his ear so that he could hear her words. "I'm scared," Calleigh admitted. "You scare me."
Eric tightened his hold on the woman in his arms. "Why?" he asked, desperately trying to understand.
"It's different with you," she murmured, then hesitated. "Yesterday, I stood in front of you knowing that if I chose you…if I chose you, I'd be choosing for the last time."
Eric hugged her even closer, and Calleigh could feel his pulse racing. "And you said no because you didn't want that?" he asked, afraid of the answer.
"No." Calleigh pulled back and looked him straight in the eye. "I said no because I realized I did want it. And that terrified me. 'Forever' terrified me."
Eric brought a thumb up to Calleigh's cheek to catch a renegade tear. He saw the look on her face, felt the change in her demeanor, and hope began to glimmer somewhere deep inside his chest.
Calleigh recognized the hope and the question in his eyes. "I'm not with Jake, Eric."
Eric moaned something breathy and indecipherable, dropping his forehead to Calleigh's in petition. He was still begging her, always begging her.
"How could I be with Jake," Calleigh pronounced, no longer trying to mask the tears in her voice, "when I'm in love with my best friend?"
Eric gathered Calleigh into a fierce, possessive embrace, one that she returned with equal fervor. "I pick you, Eric" she whispered in his ear.
Calleigh wasn't aware of Eric's body leaving her arms, or of him yanking her into his apartment and shutting the door, but she was all too aware of his lips on hers. Eric kissed her without restraint, without shame. He felt irrepressibly alive in the knowledge that she loved him.
She felt the door on her back just as Eric slipped into her mouth, caressing her tongue and drinking her in. His hands roamed, exploring her body slowly and testing boundaries that no longer existed.
Calleigh wanted him closer; she dropped her hands to his backside and pulled him impossibly nearer, gasping when she felt Eric growl into her mouth. Suddenly, he had her pinned high up against the door, her legs wrapped naturally around his waist.
One last thought flitted across Calleigh's mind as this man tortured her senses and stole her heart: men like Eric Delko definitely did not come along every day.
Natalia noticed the case file Calleigh had left on the table in DNA. Looking at the clock and realizing Calleigh wasn't back yet, the tall brunette grinned. She snatched the file and took off to find Ryan. As she walked down the hallway, Nat chuckled to herself: "Jake Berkeley is alooone to-night."