Author's Note: This is just a prologue to the real point of the story. Please rate/review and put this story on alert if you're interested in the rest of the story. I promise some good stuff. :D
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Lily swirled the amber liquid around in the glass, tapping it at an angle on the counter once every three rotations. She lifted it to her lips and inhaled gently through the nose; she made a face. Why did Barney and Robin like this stuff so much? It smelled kind of like Marshall's feet that time Ted dared him to run through Central Park barefoot. Marshall hadn't realized the New York Mutt Marathon had run through the day before. It took three days, two utterly ruined bath towels, and one expensive professional carpet-and-floor cleaning before their apartment smelled decent enough for visitors again.
"Where are you?"
Lily started and dropped the glass with a loud clunk as Barney sat across from her at the corner of the bar, smiling at an angle. "Oh hey Barney," Lily said as cheerfully as possible, accidentally letting loose a squeak. "I was thinking about Marshall's feet," she said simply. Barney's facial features tightened for a brief moment, but he decided against inquiring.
"Listen, I'm glad you're here," he said. Lily smiled, inwardly wishing he'd leave. She didn't know how long she could stay quiet. She held the glass loosely in her left hand and began twirling it at the base with her right. "I think I can swing Marshall a promotion," he began. "The job would be a little more taxing as far as the workload goes, but it would pay better. It's a step up to about forty-five, maybe fifty hours a week." Lily nodded, chewing her bottom lip to silence herself. She could barely focus on what Barney was saying. "The good news is that he and I would get to work on some projects together," he was saying. "Anyway, I figured he'd never go for it without your permission, so I thought I'd run it by you first." He paused to hear her reaction, but all she did was twirl the glass faster with wide eyes and a forced smile. The furious motion of the glass in her hands attracted his attention. "Since when do you drink scotch?"
"Robin had a sex dream about you!" Lily chirped, immediately dropping the glass again and smacking both palms to her mouth, one on top of the other. Barney's eyebrow hitched up as he propped an elbow up on the counter and leaned forward.
"Really?"
Lily sighed, exasperated at herself. "Yes, she just left," she said pointing to the door. "This is her scotch. But look, Barney, I promised her I wouldn't tell you, so please don't say anything to her."
"Of course not," Barney said, but his smile was a wicked one.