AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy & Angel say goodbye...angsty...as usual
SPOILER: Choices, The Prom, KIND OF Graduation Day
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. I need to smack him upside the head for that prom though. I'm never gonna get over what he did to Buffy and Angel. It's even making me write demonic, demented fic (and not in the good way).
//You were the love
For certain of my life\\
I cannot believe this is it.
He didn't tell me, but I know it. I know by his voice, by the way his fingers brushed my hair out of my eyes, by the way his lips felt when he kissed me.
"I've gotta go," he says it the way he tells me he's leaving before the sun begins to rise. It's nothing like the way a goodbye should be. Is there such a thing though? Is there a 'perfect goodbye'? Is there a standard that the parting of lovers needs to meet?
//I can't believe
I've lost the very best of me\\
"Buffy?" he looks to me to acknowledge what he's just said, so I nod and let my eyes travel to the ground even though I know I should stare at him, putting another photograph of him in my memory.
He touches my cheek, then lifts my chin up so that I'm forced to meet his gaze. There are tears in his eyes.
"You know I love you." he leans down and gives me one final, sweet, sad kiss. "Be careful going home."
//It's you I can't deny
It's you I can't defy
A depth so deep
Into my grief\\
I smile the way I always do. I'm trying to keep it light the way he is, although I wonder why. Who are we kidding? This doesn't make it hurt less.
It makes it worse if you ask me.
"You know me," I say nonchelantly. He gives me one final kiss, and then he disappears into the shadows.
*****
//Without my beloved soul
I renounce my life
As my right\\
It's been a couple of weeks and I'm still crying.
Not during the day, not at the library, not when I'm watching old movies with Mom or shopping with Willow. I cry when I'm alone, in bed, in the shower, on patrol. It actually freaked a couple of vamps out the other night so I guess it's a good thing.
It's never going to go away, this hurt, this loss. The feeling of longing for someone I can never have.
I want it to go away. I want it to go away so bad.
That's exactly why it won't.
And I cry.
//I can't believe
I've lost the very best of me\\