You Don't Always Get What You Want
rooster dawn
Pairing: Harm and Mac
Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Harm makes plans to return to flying, but the Admiral has other ideas for him.
Part one
0800 hours
Wednesday
12 May 1999
Harm's Apartment
Jordan looked around the apartment for a pen and paper. She had stayed the night after having dinner and watching a movie with Harm. He had left early this morning because he had court today.
She was feeling pretty good about her relationship with Harm even though she had told Sarah that she was only with Harm until Sarah decided she wanted him. Sarah had reassured her that she didn't have to worry about her.
She moved over to his desk, an obvious place to find writing material. She wanted to leave Harm a note telling him that she would be working late with a client and wouldn't be leaving the office until 1900 hours.
In her line of work not everyone could get off work early to see her. Sometimes her clients had emergencies that needed to be dealt with right away and couldn't wait till another day.
She can across some paperwork on his desk. What she saw before her, stunned her. It was a request to change his Designator from a lawyer to an aviator. She wondered why he would want to do that. She thought he had given up any desire to return to flying years ago.
What had happened to changed that? Why was he doing it? He was a lawyer at Headquarters in Washington D.C. It was the perfect place for a lawyer to advance his career. He got all the high profile cases. He met all the movers and shakers in Washington.
Why would he want to leave and return to a career with no future? He would be out of sight and out mind. The important people in Washington would soon forget him. The only time you ever heard about pilots was when they screwed the pooch as Harm would say.
She had talked to Sarah about it at Bud's wet down. She was concerned with his need to fly tomcats. Sarah had told her that Harm could never return to an active duty position on a carrier because of his eyes.
She forgot exactly what the problem was, but it really didn't matter. She told her that Harm had only flown ten or twelve times since she had begun working with him. Most of the time all he did was bore holes in the sky.
Besides, there was no future there for him. He hadn't flown enough hours to further his career. There were too many younger pilots who had many more hours of flying under their belts. They had already passed him by.
At any rate he was too far along in his new career as a lawyer at JAG to be thinking about flying full time. He was making many connections that would further his career down the road. He was known as the Navy Poster Boy of JAG.
Again she wondered why was he doing this? She threw the paperwork back down on his desk and headed out. She needed to talk to Sarah about it. She needed to find out what she knew. If there was one thing she had learned it was, Harm and Sarah didn't keep secrets from each other.
They reminded her of an old married couple the way they looked at each other when no one was looking. They had a special way of flirting with each other that spoke volumes about how they felt about each other.
She had seen them dancing together. Only two people in love danced the way they did together. Why was he with her when he was obviously in love with Sarah?
She wondered what had happed? Why weren't they together? Harm never said anything about what had happened. In fact he always denied that there was anything between them, but she knew that wasn't true. If Harm was returning to the fleet Sarah would know.
She didn't understand what was happening. She thought she had something good going with him. What had changed? Why didn't he want to be with her anymore? She had to find Sarah.
One thing she did know, she wasn't going to be involve with a pilot. They were deployed for months at sea. She would be lucky to see him a few times a year.
She knew she didn't want to be a part time girlfriend. She wanted any man she was with to be there all the time in case she needed him. Love wasn't a part time occupation to her.
0900 hours
Mac's office
Mac looked up when she heard the knock at her door. It couldn't be Harm, he was in court this morning. She had left word in the office that she didn't want to be disturbed this morning, she was preparing for a big case. She was surprised to see Jordan standing there.
"May I come in Sarah?" Jordan asked nervously.
"Sure
Jordan, have a seat. What's up?" asked Mac. She wondered what was
wrong. What had Harm done now?
"Known what
Jordan?" replied Mac a little surprised at the question.
"How
long have you known Sarah?" asked Jordan.
"Jordan, Harm can't
fly full time anymore. He has a problem with his vision at night. He
can't see well enough to see the instrument panel or the flight
deck at night.
"How
long have you known that Harm plans on returning to the fleet and fly
again?" asked an emotional Jordan.
Besides, returning to flying would be a step back for his career. There isn't a place for him there anymore. He's too old and hasn't flown enough hours. His future in the Navy is here at JAG.
He's the perfect person to be the poster boy for the Navy. He's tall and good looking. He was successful as an aviator and now as a lawyer. Not many people can be successful at more than one career." replied Mac as she tried to reassure Jordan.
Inside though she was panicking. She didn't want Harm to leave. Even though their relationship wasn't as good as it was last year when they went to Russia, he was still the most important person in her life.
She didn't want him to leave for any reason. She needed him. He was the other half of her soul. They belonged together. Someday they would be as soon as he forgave her for not telling him about Chris.
"Then
why is he changing his Designator? I saw the paperwork this morning
on his desk before I left." rebutted Jordan.
A pang of jealousy seeped into her heart at the thought that Jordan had spent the night with Harm and had probably awaken in his arms. Jordan had told her at Bud's wet down that Harm was only hers until Sarah decided she wanted him.
While on some level that might be true, it wasn't the reality now. She thought she had on more than one occasion let Harm know that she wanted a relationship with him and enjoyed being with him. She had followed him to Russia.
Jordan might say she only had Harm temporary, but she still had him. If Harm really did leave JAG to fly again, she would never have him. He would never be with her. She knew he wouldn't be returning to JAG if he left.
He would stay with the fleet until he couldn't fly anymore or they forced him out. She pictured Harm becoming the CAG someday like his hero Tom Boone.
"Sarah! Are you still here with me?" asked Jordan. It looked liked Sarah had zoned out to her. What was she thinking about? Missing Harm was her guess.
"Sorry,
I was just thinking." replied Mac coming out of her trance.
"So
what are you going to do Sarah? He can't leave. I can't be with
someone who is gone six months at a time. I love Harm the lawyer, not
the pilot. He'll listen to you Sarah." pleaded Jordan.
"I don't know what I can do Jordan. He doesn't exactly listen to me. He hasn't for some time. I tried to talk with him about our problems a few weeks ago, but he didn't want to. He doesn't deal with personal conflicts very well.
Jordan, if you really love Harm, you have to love everything about him including his need to fly. It defined him for so long. It's part of who he is. It's why he's the man he is today. You can't just love only a part of him." sighed Mac.
She wondered why she was explaining this to Jordan. Jordan was the psychiatrist. She was supposed to know all about this. Surely she must know Harm better. He was more than just a pretty face.
"Please
Sarah! You have to try!" pleaded Jordan.
Part two
1300 hours
Admiral's office
The Admiral was in a foul mood. Commander Rabb had come into his office first thing in the morning before he had had a chance to enjoy his first cup of coffee. Rabb had handed him a request to change his Designator to an aviator. Why?
What was wrong with him? Rabb wanted to be an aviator again? Why? There was no future for him as an aviator. There were too many younger pilots who had passed him by during Desert Storm and the NATO conflict in Bosnia.
They had more hours flying and much more combat experience. He couldn't make up for all the years he had lost, almost ten years in fact. He thought Rabb had outgrown his need to fly when he found out what happened to his father last year.
It was time for him to grow up and move on to the next phase of his life, get married, and have children. What was he waiting for? He had the perfect woman working in the office next to him. She had proven herself when she went with him to Russia to find his father.
She was beautiful and intelligent. She was everything any man could want. What was wrong with him? Why did he want to go back to the fleet and fly again? He had nothing to prove.
He had been grooming Rabb the last three years. He was very good, maybe the best ever. He never sought out personal glory. He always sought out the truth and what was best for the Navy even when the Navy didn't even know.
He always made the Navy look good in whatever endeavor he partook in. He was the unofficial Poster Boy for the Navy.
He knew sooner or later Major MacKenzie would be in his office. Any time Rabb did something, sooner or later it would affect her. She would want to talk to him about it, try to convince him to do something.
But what could he do? If Rabb really wanted to become a pilot again, he would find a way. Besides, he didn't want anyone under his command that didn't want to be there. He would have to come up with a plan.
"What is it Major?" asked the Admiral. He was interested in knowing how much she knew about Rabb's plans and what she intended to do about it.
"It's
about Commander Rabb Sir." replied Mac a little distress.
"What
has he done now Major?" asked the Admiral. He knew why she was
there, he wanted to know how important it was to her.
"Commander
Parker has informed me that the Commander is changing his Designator
Sir." answered Mac.
"Yes
Major, he handed me the paperwork this morning. I'm surprised that
you didn't know, he tells you everything. I thought the two of you
talked about everything Major." smiled the Admiral. She did care.
"No
Sir, I'm not his wife." replied Mac.
"Is
that the problem Major?" the Admiral smiled.
"Sir?"
responded Mac unsure of what the Admiral was implying. She didn't
like the direction this conversation was going. She was there to talk
about Harm, not her.
"Nothing
Major." smiled the Admiral. She was concerned about the Commander.
"What is it that you expect me to do Major? I can't order him to
stay. He's never really listened to me. You're the only one he
really listens to. If he doesn't want to be here, why should I
care?"
The Admiral smiled
inside as he listened to her. She still cared for Rabb very much,
maybe even loved him. Maybe he and the SecNav could work out their
plan.
"Can't
you talk to him Sir? Can't you tell him he would be taking a step
backwards in his career." pleaded Mac.
"I've
already tried Major. He told me changing his Designator only gave him
options. It didn't mean that he was going to become an aviator
again. He hasn't made a final decision yet." answered the
Admiral.
Mac left the Admiral's office. The Admiral had done nothing to alleviate her concerns about Harm leaving JAG. Why did he have to leave JAG ..... and her?
0900 hours
Thursday
13 May 1999
Admiral's office
The Admiral met with the SecNav the next morning. He didn't want to lose Rabb. He didn't think the SecNav wanted to lose a promising star in Washington even though Rabb could be difficult at times.
"We have a problem Sir." began the Admiral.
"What
is it AJ, what has Rabb done now?" sighed Nelson. He had hoped for
a quiet day.
"He
hasn't done anything yet, it's what he wants to do." replied
the Admiral.
"Dare
I asked?" responded Nelson as a migraine began to form behind his
eyes.
"He
has submitted paperwork to change his Designator to an aviator."
informed the Admiral.
"What!
What is wrong with him? You don't take steps back in the Navy.
Doesn't he realized that he's in the best place to advance his
career. He's an academy graduate, a former tomcat pilot, and now
one of the most successful lawyer in the Navy.
He's developed a reputation of finding the truth and looking out for what's in the best interest for the Navy. He has name recognition. He's in the right place to meet the right people who can further his career.
Why does he want to go back to flying jets? There's no future there for him anymore. He'll be out of sight and out of mind when promotions and opportunities come along. He has more than ten years in the Navy. He's career Navy.
He should be looking at ways to advance his career, not to set it back." ranted Nelson.
"He
told me he gave up flying years ago because of a vision problem Sir.
He has somehow had it fixed. He wants the opportunity to fly until he
can leave flying on his own terms." replied the Admiral.
"Poppycock AJ, he's too old to be thinking about returning to the past glories of his youth! Tell him to suck it up and be a man." ordered Nelson.
"I
do have a plan Sir. It's a way to put off making any kind of
decision on his request for a month or two." smiled the Admiral.
"We can take advantage of his name recognition. We can officially make him the poster boy of the Navy. We can make a few recruitment promos and a recruiting film. We can even incorporate MacKenzie into a few of them.
With MacKenzie we can show recruits that the Navy isn't just a job, but a way of life. One can have a spouse and family too. I'm sure the Marines wouldn't mind her in a few recruitment promos for them."
"I
like that idea AJ. They do make a great looking couple. My wife has
seen them dancing together many times and has often asked me why they
aren't married." smiled Nelson. His migraine was beginning to
abate some as he began to think of the possibilities.
"Yes
Sir. I was thinking about that Sir as part of a slogan, 'Not just a
job, but a way of Life.'" smiled the Admiral. He was glad that
the SecNav was on board with his idea.
"We can incorporate all the activities they do together; working, training, playing sports, and attending formal military functions."
"Sounds
great AJ, but there seems to be something missing. We need a grand
finale." reasoned Nelson.
"You
want a grand finale huh. How about a wedding at the Naval Academy
Chapel. It would be very special and would be the perfect lead in to
the recruitment films." chuckled the Admiral.
"A
wedding huh! That could be an interesting idea. Who do you have in
mind?" smirked Nelson with an unsaid confirmation.
"I was thinking about Rabb and MacKenzie. As you said they make a great looking couple though it might take some work to pull it off since Rabb is seeing someone else presently.
The shooting of the recruitment films and promos should take four or five weeks. With their workload together they will be spending a lot of time together and wouldn't have much time for anyone else." replied the Admiral.
"Sounds like a plan AJ. Gives us enough time to invite all the right people to the blessed event. Just think AJ, a marriage of the Marines and the Navy. Who would have thought it was possible?" grinned Nelson.
1500 hours
Admiral's office
The Admiral spent the rest of the day looking for a producer to shoot the recruitment film. The SecNav had someone from the public affairs office send over a list of names.
He talked to a few of the candidates to get an understanding of what work experience they had and if they would be interested in doing a recruitment film for the Navy and Marines.
Of all the people the Admiral talked to a Ms Renee Peterson seemed to be the most excited about doing the job. He asked her if she was available to come in and talk to him further about the project. He would give her more info on what he wanted and what the project would entail.
"So what do you think Ms Peterson?" asked the Admiral after showing her their photos.
"They
do make an interesting couple Sir. I didn't think the Marines and
Navy got along." replied Renee solemnly.
"That
usually depends upon the situation. We wanted someone who could grab
the young people attention. We want to show them that being in the
Navy or the Marines isn't just about a job, but is a way of life."
informed the Admiral.
"She
does look beautiful Sir. Young men are drawn to beautiful women. In
these photos there does seem to be something between them. That
should make shooting the life style parts much easier." replied
Renee as her mind went through all the possibilities.
"There is one more thing we have in mind Ms Peterson. We want to shoot their wedding as part of the film." smiled the Admiral.
"They're getting married? I've never shot a wedding before. ....." Renee rambled on in a dreamlike state. The Admiral just sat back and watched her with amusement.