A/N and disclaimer: It's strange for a fandom that I love so much to have only ever written two things in it. An old fic and this new completely silly one. This one was inspired by a conversation with a coworker regarding the Jedi philosophy on shaving their "family jewels" and then a couple of hilarious comments by Nikki-chan. So I present to you my crack!fic. I own nothing. George Lucas still owns them much to my dismay.
Mara Jade Skywalker stared down at the bath tub that she shared with her husband Luke in dismay and disgust. She had just finished a rather intense workout and only wanted to soak her tired muscles for an hour or so but now there was an obstacle in her path, one that she truly had no desire to overcome. Instead she turned and walked back through their quarters until she happened upon Luke who was preparing their dinner.
"So what made you decide to do it?" she asked, crossing her arms and planting her self in the doorway.
Luke turned to look at her and then hissed in pain as a bit of boiling water leapt out of the pot and caught him on the back of his hand. As he walked to the sink and held it under some cold water he looked at Mara with confusion. "Do what?"
"Don't pull the innocent act on me, farm boy. You know what." As Luke continued to look confused she huffed impatiently. "What made you suddenly decide to go hairless?"
Luke continued to look confused for another moment and then he began to turn red as he remembered. "No reason. Just thought I'd try something a little different." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he went back to stirring the pasta. "Do you mind that much?"
Mara couldn't stop the grin. She tried but simply couldn't force it back. "Not at all, provided you clean up after yourself." She had the satisfaction of watching the great Jedi master wince. "Still," she continued, "isn't there something archaic in the Jedi code about men not altering their bodies?"
Luke found himself smiling as well. "Not that I'm aware of. Though I don't know if that's something they'd exactly discuss amongst themselves."
Moving past Luke, Mara reached for a bottle of Corellian wine and turned her evil grin on him. "Maybe it's time we should."
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"I'm sorry, but I just can't get the image of your father, Darth Vader, being caught by Obi-Wan in the middle of shaving his family jewels."
"Gee thanks, Mara. Now I'm going to have that mental image burned into my mind."
"I mean, just imagine your dad there in the bathroom in the Jedi temple shaving carefully down there and then, without, thinking getting ready to shave his face."
"I think I might be sick."
"And then Obi-Wan walks in and has to lecture Anakin that if he plans to violate the Jedi code about remaining natural then could he at least do it with a different razor than the one he uses on his face."
"Okay, I'll admit, that is sort of funny. Then again, it might be the wine talking."
"Of course, that leads you to wonder, which of the famous Jedi masters were naturally hairless."
"Believe me, I have never wondered that."
"Come on, Luke. Just ponder it. Do you think Yoda only had hair in his ears? Or ---"
"I'll only take my hand off your mouth if you promise not to finish that thought."
"Mmmf-mmm."
"I'm taking that as a yes."
"Don't make me debate you about the philosophy of letting your body be a temple and remaining pure and all that other crap those masters used to spout."
"Well, here, see for yourself. Which do you prefer?"
"Hmm. I think I could get used to this new and improved aerodynamic Luke."
"Flattery will get you nowhere."
"True. It's insulting and trying to kill you that got me into this marriage."
"See? Why mess with a good thing?"
"Agreed. Now come here, farm boy."
