and this is my first story so it just might be a little crappy
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July 3rd, 9:51pm that was when i breathed for the first time. As all people i have no memories before the age of 3 or so. I remember the time we moved to Yoroido, my parents got divorced there, that was the first and the last time i ever saw my father cry. Not long after my father and i moved to Miyako where i spent most of my life. Chop wood. move it here, gather rocks, move it there, cut the grass, and start it all over again, that was my life and i was happy. When i was 5 an older boy i considered my friend had raped me i still remember his door faced south, his bed to the west and his window to the north, his sister stood by the door watching.By the time i was 6 i had a chance to live with my mother instead of just visiting her every weekend and i took it. I was there for a few months, live became boring and miserable with so many children telling me how fat i was.
So i moved back with my father with something new for me to encounter, he had a girlfriend. She was so kind, she made me change my diet and it bothered me very little, but i was happy she had a son so i had company and i got to work with my father again with just a little more to do with gardening and making the land more beautiful with the creek, forest, gardens, and even helping the mountain side. December 7th they married and my life changed exponentially. My new step mother was cruel all of a sudden. i had lost a lot of weight and she still told me i was obese though you could see each of my ribs. I was told i was pre-diabetic, how i would die before my father or loose my legs. I was hounded for nothing and got into trouble constantly, i could not survive a month without getting into trouble. She would suddenly burst out telling my step brother and I how ungrateful we were and unhelpful no matter how much i said thank you or offered my help i was still hounded the most and he was let off the hook. When i was 8 my own step brother raped me i never said a words about it to them, they would not believe me anyways, i just knew it.
One winter my father slipped on some ice and broke the tip of his back, it was also a day when my step mother started a fight with me, i just stared out the window and cried as i always did. I walked out trying to ask help for homework and my father started asking me about the fight she had started, and i told him how she called me trash, how i was worth nothing more than trash, and the usual things she said and he kept asking what else when there was nothing more to tell, it was obvious she had made up something and i could do nothing. He ripped the text book from my hands and grabbed my wrists, it hurt, he pulled me down to my knees and his forehead was pressed against mine, he was screaming at me but i could not understand i was crying far too much. I actually peed on myself i was so afraid there were other times like it.
I was told that i could not move back to my mother until i was 12 when my father had already agreed that i could move of my own free will the age of my choosing. it broke my heart, i wanted to run away.
My stepbrother had lost a game and i had asked him if i could play it and my father made him look for it. He began to cry. My step mother allowed him to stop and said i did it on purpose because i knew he was having company over and that i wanted to frustrate him because i was jealous. I was called a bitch for the first time just for that.
All throughout elementary school i was in a very advanced class called AIG (academically intelligently gifted) or accidentally gifted for those who weren't in it. It covered high school science the entire time and i understood it since 3rd grade. I missed a B by one point and i was hounded for it, i was grounded for 2 weeks because i wasn't smart enough i never seemed to be ever.
Finally 6th grade had arrived and it was my last year with them, i was officially brainwashed into thinking i was pre-diabetic, and my early death, and that i was fat, and ugly.At night i could hear my step mother saying they were going to bring my mother to court\, she even called DSS on her but they turned it down because it was ridiculous reporting she was feeding me incorrectly. I was so guarded that when a girl came up to me and asked if i were a virgin, i had no idea what that was. I kept in my room as much as possible and my father always believed i was hiding something when i wasn't, i was just afraid to be around her, if i wasn't around she could not get me into more trouble. I got into the habit of asking for food to eat, most times it was no, have something else to eat. I had no sweets so i stooped to stealing it from school. i got caught and was kept from nearly all electronics for 2 months. I stole it not only because it was sweet but because i was going to bed hungry every night.
My father asked me if i wanted to move in with my mother because i was turning 12, i did't know if i wanted to or not, i was that brainwashed. After a week, i said yes and began to pack everything. My graduation from elementary school, was the very night i left, i did't go back home after the ceremony my bags were moved from one car to another and i left just like that.
Ever since then i did't go back to visit my father for a year, and I was still in the habit of asking for food and it was unusual to not have to ask for it. I began to look healthy again and not look like i was starving. I could't seem to stop i became fat again, rolls of fat, but at least i was happy. Not only did the eating make me gain weight but the major lack of farm work.
August 23, i bleed from between my legs for the first time and with it came a lot of pain. It turned out i had muscle spasms in my back every time it happened, but i also became extremely ill. Headache, dizziness,sore throat, nausea. joint pains, all the time. I had joint pains for 4 years it bothered me little, but i was overwhelmed by the others. Doctors could not answer what was harming me. For years i was in that pain.
I was sent to a therapist to see if i wanted something or i was making myself sick. Turns out my stepmother (Matsumoto) was harming me still when i was away as she was still in my mind. I still did not get better so the shrink visits stopped. Through all the pain and the pain of memories and their effects in my mind i still made excellent grades and something good finally happened. I made a true friend. i call her my sister now and i will always do so. My sister started me writing and it made me feel better emotionally temporally until i stopped writing. I was going to kill myself until i met her, i owe her my life.
I now almost 15 am still in physical pain, i've had it for so long now and the doctors know what's wrong, it's my gallbladder that's malfunctioning. Most of the pain is gone but i still feel it. Recently i had my appendix taken out and it has helped with nothing but give me more pain from the surgery. I still believe that i am fat, ugly, untalented, and still never smart enough. She still haunts me but i just think of my sister instead.
And this Chiyo is still waiting for her Chairman, waiting for one to love her
the end...for now
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i hope u liked it and it's all completely true
Yoroido Colorado
MiyakoNorth Carolina
as i said it's my first on fanfiction and it's probably bad but i had to put in chiyo's name for it to hopefully count