28/07/2008 20:16:00
iHow had it come to this? /i
Three weeks.
It had been three excruciating weeks since that fateful day, where the first half of her mission had been completed. Three weeks since the talismans had been found.
Three weeks since things suddenly began to get rocky between her partner and she. Three weeks since the fights became so big that it had been two weeks since they had spoken a word to each other. Two weeks of petty stubbornness, and unknown anger. Which turned into one week.. One whole week where she had not seen her partner.
It was the longest time since they had become partners that they had gone away from each other.
It was killing her inside.
It was all she could do, to sit at the window, inside on such a beautiful day. To look out the glass, and see past anything material. Her hand still twirling a spoon in her now cold tea.
She knew she should be thinking about the mission, about finding the Messiah. She knew she should be planning. She knew she should be studying, for both the mission and for school. She knew she should at least be playing, but none of that was being done or thought about. Her only train of thought seemed to consist of one simple question,
iHow had it come to this?/i
Her every fibre cried out for her presence.. She felt constantly cold without her nearby. Her very soul iached/i to just have her near—she wouldn't even need to say anything! Or just a look.. Just a recognition.
But no. Her partner was stubborn as her element, upset and angry and completely irrational. After the things that that were said, she didn't know if she could ever tell her what she needed to say.
She had always been open and completely honest about everything, but this was her one confession; the one thing that she had kept hidden from her partner. She had thought that maybe after all this was over.. After the Messiah had been found and restored peace.. That maybe then, she would tell her. She would confess.
When there was no more worry of missions and saving their princess.. But now, she didn't know if that time to tell her would ever come. She doubted that she would even listen.
A sudden, glowing presence sitting down across from her broke her from her reverie, startling her, before she managed to place a weak smile on her face, if wary.
Her blue eyes seem troubled, a frown marring her usually smiling face. "Michiru-san.." the visitor begins, and hesitates.
"Usagi-chan," She interjects acknowledingly, by ways of telling her that she wasn't unwelcome.
Usagi begins to smile, and then she looks concerned again. "Michiru-san.. are you alright? Where's Haruka-san?"
"Haruk—She," She feels ridiculous stammering, but she can't seem to form a proper sentence beginning with her name. With her. She tries to smile more warmly, and glaze over the question altogether. "I'm fine, Usagi-chan, thank you. How are you?"
She seems to ignore Michiru's polite question, and still looks concerned, determinedly so. "Michiru-san," she begins gently. "Is everything alright with Haruka-san?"
She sighs. She doesn't mean to, it's not at all polite, but the weight of this pain was suffocating.
Usagi reaches across the table and takes one of Michiru's hands into hers, squeezing them gently, with a comforting smile. "It's alright," She says, reassuring her.
"She's been so distant.." She surprises herself, by breaking the quiet between them. "Far more so than she ever was. Ever since we found the Talisman, she's been so cold.. So idistant/i. I thought maybe she felt weak that she wasn't able to escape Eudial's attack despite me failing.. Or that maybe something happened between the fight between them to obtain the Talisman.. I just don't know.." She trails off, quietly.
Usagi hesitates, then inquires, "Have you talked about that night yet?"
"She completely refuses. Like she's denying something." She says.
"Michiru-san," Usagi begins, "Uranus didn't fight Eudial. You managed to push her off the edge, when she shot you."
She wrinkles her forehead in confusion and thought. "Then how did Uranus get—" She cuts herself off, as thoughts begin to pour in.
"She turned the gun on herself, as soon as your Talisman appeared." Usagi says, quietly, emphatically.
Michiru yanks her hand back, bringing both to her mouth as she gasped. Pieces begin falling into place in her mind; she knew her partner better than anyone, even herself. She had the whys, but not the how to connect with one.
Reaching for her purse without looking, she begins to hastily get up, leaving Usagi a little startled, but with understanding. "I'm sorry, Usagi-chan, I must go."
She begins heading to the door, sliding her purse up her arm, when Usagi called back out for her. She pauses, and turns halfway.
"Good luck!" Usagi calls out, with a wave and a smile.
"Thank you, Usagi-chan." She says quietly, sincerely.
She found her sitting on the railing on the rooftop gardens of her apartment complex. The wind blowing around her dangerously, as she stared morosely out over the city.
Michiru stops a little ways away from her, the blonde goddess that was the other piece to her. "Haruka," She says, loud enough to be heard over the wind.
The tall woman shut her eyes, and looked as though she were fighting with herself. But she would not say a word.
"Haruka," Michiru repeats, determined. She softens, "I know what happened."
Haruka's eyes open. She looks guilty. She looks hurt, but she still won't look at her.
"Please," She says quietly, brokenly. Somehow the wind carries this desperate plea to Haruka's ears. Her resolve weakens.
Michiru steps slowly to Haruka, standing a foot away from the railing. Away from her.
"I know why you did it," she says even more quietly.
Haruka looks crestfallen, broken. She looks up at Michiru and has to bite back a gasp at the woman. At how much she missed seeing her by her side all the time. At how much she felt for her.
Michiru smiled softly at her, slowly bringing her hand up to caress the side of Haruka's cool face. She leaned in slowly and whispered in her ear, "The same reason that I did."
Pulling back slowly, without righting herself, she pressed a soft kiss to Haruka's lips, and then leaned back, slowly drawing her hand away.
Haruka grabbed onto her hand, and brought it back to her face, nuzzling her cheek into it. She looked up at Michiru, pleadingly, "I.. I'm so sorry Michiru.. I thought I was protecting you from me.. I was terrified of how big this was..!" She rambled quickly. She put her head into her hands, and repeated, "I'm so sorry, Michiru. I'm so sorry."
"Haruka," Michiru says, drawing Haruka out of herself. "Haruka, I meant to tell you.. I thought it would wait, but iI/i can't. It could, but I can't. I can't risk losing you. I thought that I could, but.. I can't. Haruka," I take a breath.. "I love you."
Haruka's eyes widen, and suddenly Michiru feels panicky. She begins to regret confessing her secret that she had been carrying since she had begun having visions about the wind goddess. Thoughts were racing through her mind, one thousand and one at a time.
"Michiru," Her husky voice cuts through all of Michiru's thoughts completely. Haruka nimbly sets her feet on the ground, and closes the space between them. Her hands slide to Michiru's face, as she leans down and silences any fears Michiru may have begun to produce.
The kiss was searing and passionate, electricity shot through their every vein, their every pore, building a relentless pressure of joy through their cores.
Everything they hadn't said that day, everyday, all the times they had to make themselves hold back, was poured into this one kiss, confirming fate's beautiful hand in this.
As they began to separate, Haruka suddenly wrapped her arms around Michiru and held her tight, as Michiru's arms wound around Haruka's torso. Their bodies thrumming with the joyous pleasure of finding home in one another's arms, Michiru breathed deep, as Haruka nuzzled the top of her head.
"How did it come to this?" the blonde woman wondered softly.
Michiru smiled to herself, and didn't let go.
Fin
I wonder if it was too jumpy.. It felt really jumpy.. But it IS the first thing I have written in many years. So.. you know. Hm.
Disclaimer: Yeah, and none of it is mine.