Hey everyone, a break from the drama for some fun times at the institute. I originally wrote these in a notebook as comic strips, but I want to share.
I call it "One Week At the Institute: Mutant Antics."
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(Scott walks into the kitchen, sees Kurt sitting on the floor with his tail embedded in the wall via phasing.)
Scott: How long have you been stuck here?
Kurt: A little more than three hours.
(Scott gets a sandwich from the fridge and leaves.)
Kurt: Thanks for all the help!!
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(Kurt, Scott, Jean, Evan, and Rogue are seated at the dinner table, staring at the food, while Kitty stands over them)
Evan: Who… who COOKED this?
Kitty: I did! The Professor said in order to improve my concentration, I have to cook more often. (Leaves)
Kurt: OOOkay, I'm pretty sure this is his cover-up for forgetting to send us to survival camp this year.
Jean: Me, too.
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Scott: (Walks into office) Hey, prof.?
Professor: Yes?
Scott: Uh, my car…
Prof: Yes, we're on it.
Scott: Okay. (starts to leave)
Prof: Wait, Scott. For next time, do you want to go for a blue, or stick with the red?
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(Kurt and Rogue in Xavier's office)
Kurt: You're getting Scott a new car?!
Rogue: That IS unfair, Professor. You don't buy US cars.
Kurt: Yeah, and how come we have to CLEAN his car?
Rogue: And what's the deal with—
Prof: You will leave and continue cleaning Scott's car.
(They leave, mind wiped. Professor Xavier winks.)
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(The X-Men save Kurt storm through the kitchen while a strange boy eats at the table.)
Jean: Where IS that good-for-nothing fuzzy creep?!
Kitty: I don't know, but we totally gotta find him.
Evan: Yeah, he is so going down this time. He's gunna PAY.
(When they exit the opposite door, the strange boy looks exasperated as he turns off the image inducer.)
Kurt: I thought I got rid of the mobs when I left Germany.
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(Scott and Rogue search for Kurt in the garage.)
Rogue: Man, where IS he?
Scott: Not in here. Come on, let's go.
(They leave. Kurt's head pops up; he's in the passenger seat of Scott's car.)
Kurt: Sometimes, I really love Scott.
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(They are all still looking for Kurt.)
Professor: (telepathically) OH for God's sake, children, he's in here, hiding under my desk.
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(They get to the office door when the "Professor" walks out. Walks.)
'Prof': He went THAT way! (Points down stairs. They all run down the stairs.)
'Prof': (Turns off image inducer. It's Kurt.) Wow, I didn't think they were that stupid.
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("Magneto" knocks on the front door. The door opens and the Professor looks out.)
"Mags": Cookies?
Prof: (narrowed eyes) Very funny, Kurt.
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(Kitty is walking by the front window. Kurt's face is pressed against it.)
Kitty: We're not letting you in. Oh, and the honor of making your dinner is all mine, Smarty-Pants. (leaves)
Kurt: (howling) Isn't locking me out here ENOUGH?!
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(Pietro knocks on the front door and Kurt answers it.)
Kurt: What are YOU
doing here?!
Pietro: What are YOU doing here?!
Kurt: I LIVE here!
Pietro: I LIVE here!
Kurt: No you don't!
Pietro: No you don't!
Kurt: Cut it out!
Pietro: Cut it out! Hee hee hee (runs off)
Kurt: Yeesh.
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Pietro: (runs into Magneto's office.) Guess what, father? I messed with one of the X-Men! And I got on to Institute grounds, UNDETECTED!
Mags: I have a question, oh great Pietro.
Pietro: What's that?
Mags: Would the great Pietro like his bottle warm or cold?
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(Magneto knocks on the door. Scott opens it.)
Mags: We're, erm, short on milk. Can we borrow a glass?
Scott: Okay, where are your lackeys to ambush me once I bring the milk out?
Mags: No, really. We actually need milk.
…………………………..
Scott: (walks into kitchen) Magneto is at our front door asking to borrow a glass of milk.
Kurt: BORROW a glass of milk? What's he gonna do? Give it BACK?
Scott: You are SO missing the point here.
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Townsperson: Aaaaa, help. A monster is attacking Bayville. (Knocks on the front door) Please. Help us. Aaaaaa.
Kurt: Opens a window on the second floor and looks down at him.) Then SHOOT it already! God! You don't need OUR help! (slams the window shut)
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Townsperson: Mutants are great. Ra, ra, ra. NOW will you help the town?
Rogue: (out the same window) You're not getting ANYONE'S attention, pal.
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Townsperson: Yipee for mutants. Hooray. Three cheers.
Kitty: (From the same window) GO AWAY!!!
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Townsperson: The monster is still attacking Bayville.
Prof: (From the same window) Listen, the children are taking a math test. Please come back later.
Townsperson: But the monster is attacking…
Prof: I—
Kurt: (Shouting from inside) Just SHOOT it! I can't concentrate with all the explosions!
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(Students sitting at the table)
Evan: (Reading from newspaper) "Bayville destroyed. Mutants are evil monsters that won't save us."
Kurt: Well, damned if we do and damned if we don't. Jeeze.
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Jean: Look at this. (passes Scott the newspaper)
Scott: (reading) "Garage sale next week. Mutants are evil monsters." Wow, that has nothing to do with us!
Jean: I KNOW!
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(Kurt running into the kitchen, eyes wide and newspaper in hand.)
Kurt: Price for burgers went up three cents!
Evan: Wow. Anything else?
Kurt: Well, yeah, later in the same article, they blame US for it. But three cents, come on!!
……………………………..
(Kitty and Lance are on the phone)
Lance: What can I do to make you go out with me? I've tried everything! Please, Kitty, tell me what you want!
Kitty: Well… I've always loved guys who could… TAP DANCE… (hangs up, turns to Kurt.) This is gunna be fun!
Kurt: Oh yeah.
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(Pietro eating a sandwich walks into the kitchen to see Lance tap dancing.)
Pietro: What… uh, what are you doing?
Lance: Winning a girl's heart. Leave me alone.
Pietro: This is why I swore off women.
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(On the phone)
Lance: Okay, I learned to tap dance. What else?
Kitty: I've always loved guys who were brave enough to do three laps in the mall… in their PAJAMAS. (Hangs up, gives Kurt a high five)
Kurt: Good one!
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(At the mall, Tabitha, Pietro and Todd are sitting on a bench laughing and talking when Lance runs by in boxer shorts and a T-shirt.)
Pietro: Ummm…. What's he doing?
Tabitha: I don't know, but that just made my day.
Todd: What's the matter with you guys? He's obviously in love!
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(In the phone)
Kitty: Okay, Lance, one final test. At the football game tonight, I want you to bring a microphone and shout your love for me to the whole school!
Lance: WHAT?! No way!!
Kitty: Ahem…
Lance: Grrrr… fine, but this is it, got that?
Kitty: Okey dokey! (hangs up)
Kurt: Woah. This just got serious, didn't it?
Kitty: If he loves me…
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(At the football game)
Lance: Attention, everyone, I have an announcement. Um…
Kurt: Oh my God.
Lance: I… um…
Kitty: He's gunna do it.
Lance: I…
Kurt: That idiot's actually gunna do it.
Kitty: (hearts for eyes) He loves me! He really loves me! Professor, could you tell him he doesn't have to do it…?
Lance: I am in love with Kitty Pryde!
Prof: Whoops.
Kitty: PROFESSOR!
Prof: He was stupid enough to go along with it in the first place…
Kurt: Got that right.
……………………………
(At Lance's locker)
Kitty: Um, Lance?
Lance: WHAT?! You ruined my rep, you stomped on my pride, and you tore my manliness to shreds! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!
Kitty: Kitty: Wanna go to the movies on Saturday?
Lance. Sure.
……………………………
Kurt: I'm FAMISHED!
Kitty: Here, have a cookie.
Kurt: Thanks! (Takes a bite, pauses, and gapes as his teeth fall out.) …
Kitty: Okay, too much brown sugar. Got it.
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Kitty: (startled by Kurt) EW!
Kurt: "Ew"? That's what you say? Not "hello", or, "nice to see you"? You say "ew"?
Kitty:… EW!
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Okay, that's all I have so far. Tell me what you think. If I get good reviews I might do a Mission X version.
