Author's note: Hello, everyone! :) My apologies for not posting lately. Long story short, my computer crashed and I lost all of my documents and pictures. Every single photo, WIP, and finished story...everything. :( The computer still works, though, so thank the Lord for that! New stories come cheaper than new computers. ;)
I miss Once Upon a Time, don't you? I can't wait for the third season to begin!
I love the exchanges between Hook and Bae (as a boy). It just kills me when Hook says he can change. I like to think he would have tried had Bae chosen to stay with him. Hook just needs a chance! :'( But then again, I can sympathize with Bae and his anger. So, here is a one-shot (based off of the bit where Bae is on the ship with Hook) that I hope gives a look into Hook's battling heart.
Bae glared at Hook, his breath ragged, his eyes seething with fury. He held a sword in his hand, ready to swipe at Hook's head at any given moment. The crew of the Jolly Roger watched breathlessly, obeying their captain's gesture to put away their weapons. The air was tense.
"What's this about, Bae?" Hook held out his hands toward Baelfire cautiously.
"I found this. On your desk!" He looked down at the picture, his voice lowering. "It's-it's my mother." He looked back at Hook. "How'd you get it?" he demanded.
Hook glanced at the picture, and back at Bae. "Bae-"
"HOW?" Bae swung at Hook's head. Hook ducked deftly.
"You're the pirate that killed her!" Bae's voice was desperate, raspy with anger and unshed tears. He tried to bring the sword down on Hook's shoulder, but Hook met the sword with his own and knocked it out of Bae's hand.
"I didn't," he emphasized each word, "kill your mother." Pain was carved all over his face. His eyes showed deep sorrow, increasing sorrow, as he looked into Bae's big, warm, dark brown eyes-just like his mother's. It hurt him to see Bae feeling the way he had often felt himself. Had he not also been abandoned by his coward of a father? Had he not also lost his mother when he was young?
"We fell in love. We ran off together." He paused. "Your father lied to you! He was too much of a coward to tell you the truth!" Bae looked away. Hook was spitting the words out in anger. He went down on his knees in front of Bae, reaching his hook up toward him. "He tore her heart out and crushed it in front of me." Bae stared down at Hook's face, crumpling before him. "And I've spent every moment since then wanting revenge."
Bae looked at this pirate before him in disbelief. How could my father have killed my mother? How am I supposed to believe a pirate instead of my own father?
My father was a coward and a liar. Bae thought back to the moments when Hook had shown him tenderness, teaching him the ways of the sea at the helm and covering for him when the Lost Ones came. He thought back to when he had told him of his own father, who was also a coward. He looked back down at Hook. Had it all been a show? Or was it real?
"She abandoned me." This was only voicing a reality he had come to accept. It didn't stab him with pain anymore.
"Not a single day passed that your mother didn't regret leaving you, Baelfire. We talked about going back for you when you were old enough. Perhaps fate brought us together so that I can make good on those plans." Hook held out a hand to Bae. "We can live the life that Milah wanted for us as a family!" For just a moment, Bae was on the brink of letting Hook in. And then Hook stood and reached for Bae.
Bae jumped back. "No!" he yelled. "You used me!" Fury overtook him again. "You wanted to kill my father!"
Hook simply stood there, staring at him. "Yes. I did."
"You tore apart my family," Bae sobbed, his anger turning to grief at all the things he had lost. Tears streamed down his face. "As sure as if you ripped her heart out yourself."
Hook began to shake his head. This was going all wrong. He had never meant to harm the boy! When the boy first set foot on the ship, sure, he had wanted to use him to get his revenge, but now... He hadn't felt the tenderness that he now felt for Bae for anyone since Milah had died. "Bae, don't-"
"Take me back to my real family. The Darlings."
Hook shook his head sorrowfully. "I-I can't." Bae looked away, more tears streaming down his face. "It's not possible to leave Neverland." His voice rose. "But you could stay here, under my protection!"
Bae turned back to him. "I'd rather fend for myself than be with you." He and Hook were standing face-to-face now. "I want off this ship, pirate," he said through clenched teeth. Then he turned and walked away, leaving Hook to stand there with the realization that once again, he was alone.
Nobody loved him.
Nobody cared about him.
He wasn't worth it. He was a dirty, rotten, evil pirate.
So why even try?
After the boy left, he would go back to being as heartless and selfish as he was before. Probably more so. If the boy left, he would have nothing left to live for except his revenge. And in light of having someone to love as his own, the lure of revenge dulled. That disturbed Hook. If he didn't have revenge, what did he have?
That night as Bae sat at the edge of the ship, all his belongings in one small bag, ready to get off the ship, Hook tried to convince him one last time.
"Just drop me off anywhere."
"You really think you can survive on your own?"
"I've never been given the choice."
"But you have one now."
Bae turned and looked at Hook, determination in his eyes. "Anywhere will do."
Hook tried again. "I get you're angry." How many times had he been angry at his father, at his mother, and at the world? "But it doesn't have to end like this." Don't end up like I did. Don't become selfish and heartless. "This ship can be your home!" He forced a wide, welcoming smile. "Your family. Just say the word." All he had ever wanted was a home and a family. Didn't Bae want the same thing? "It's not too late to start over." He thought he saw Bae considering it. Maybe the boy didn't want to stay with him because he was a pirate. Maybe it was because he was a bad man. "I can change, Bae. For you." Don't leave me here alone. Don't leave me to revenge and nothing else. Don't leave me to the darkness. Don't go out there alone and end up like me.
Bae turned. "You say that. I know you'll never change. Because all you care about is yourself!" Rejection. There went Hook's last chance. Bae walked away. Hook stood there, feeling numb.
And in a flash, he resigned himself to the darkness. Anger took over. All he ever did care about was himself. That was what he lived for. And at the moment, caring about himself was about getting his revenge. Placing his hands behind his back, he signaled to Smee. The little man scurried off to signal to the rest of the crew-call the Lost Ones. This was Hook's back-up plan-Smee had pressured him to keep it in the back of his mind, just in case. He turned to face Bae.
"Thank you," he replied with venom in his voice, the look in his eyes changing from regret and pain to anger and cold steel, "for reminding me what I'm all about-killing your father."
I was right, Bae thought. He never would have changed. Revenge would never have left him.
He heard noises, something climbing up the side of the ship. He turned and came face-to-face with three of the Lost Ones, staring down at him menacingly. He backed away slowly, then turned to Hook, tears filling his eyes as the Lost Ones tied his hands. Hook's back was turned to him. He couldn't decide if it was out of cold complacency or if he couldn't bear to see what he had done.
"You're not letting me go."
Hook turned, wearing his best air of arrogance and ruthlessness, a smirk on his face. "How would that help me?"
"You hated my father so much, you didn't even realize you were just like him!"
Those were Bae's last words as he disappeared over the side of the ship, leaving Hook to stand there, wallowing in his dark heart. As the last Lost One dropped over the side of the ship, Hook willed himself to look over and down at Bae. Bae stared up at him with his big, chocolate-colored eyes-the eyes that were just like Milah's. And then they bagged his head, and those eyes looked at him no longer.
Hook turned away and walked to the helm. No sooner had the boy gone was he reminded of him-there were still the marks above the helm where Hook had written the directions of sailing. He scratched through them with his hook, then stared in to the deep, dark night.
He felt darker than ever now. Darker than when he had fought Rumpelstiltskin the first time when he was a cripple and a man distraught at losing his wife, darker than when he had vowed to kill him as Milah lay dead on the ground. Let the quest for revenge continue. He would accomplish what he had set out to do, even if it killed him.