Contains: yaoi, lotsa pokemon slaying (and others!) and a special surprise fer all you Relena-haters ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I wish I did, well, some of them heh-heh. Don't sue me! I need all my money to buy Anime stuff! Well, enjoy…or don't.
*
Phaedra and Hoshiko sat in their announcer's stand, ready to call out the first fighters.
Phaedra: Here we are, live at Anime Wars!
Hoshiko: And it's sure gonna be interesting.
Meanwhile, in the staff room…
Duo: Dude, all these peoples are nasty lookin'! (pointing at the DBZ characters)
Wufei: Shut up, Maxwell! You're giving me a headache.
Quatre: Don't fight, guys!
Duo + Wufei: You stay outta this!
Trowa: sigh…
Heero:…
Serena: Dariieeenn!
Darien: What!?
Serena: I'm hungry!
Darien: …so?
Serena: Go get something!
Lita, Mina, Ami + Raye: Us too!
Ryo: Where's Sage?
Kento: (stuffing his face) Dunno.
Rowen: He's flirting.
Mia: What!?
Cye: Uh, nothing, Mia, Rowen was joking.
Rowen: Actually- (Ryo kicks him) uh, yeah, I'm just kiddin'.
Catherine: Get away from me!
Sage: Hey! Don't go! (turns and spots the Sailors) Oh!
Catherine: Trowa! I made soup!
Anubis: (pacing) I'm in a bad mood. (someone bumps into him) Hey!
Vegeta: Stay outta my way!
Anubis: Wow! You're a midgit!
Vegeta: Am not!
Anubis: Hey guys! Check out the short balding man!
Ronins: (point and laugh at Vegeta)
Vegeta: grr… (storms out of room)
Hilde: (standing on a chair) EEKK! It's a HUGE yellow rat!!
Pikachu: Pika?
Duo: (shoots Pikachu)
Pikachu: (dies)
Phaedra: (walks in) Okay, the first battle! (sees Pikachu) Oh. Well, I guess Heero's gonna havta fight Ash
instead.
Everyone: (bursts out laughing)
Ash: What!? (sees Pikachu, starts crying like the wuss he is)
Heero grins slightly. Phaedra points at the mess that was once a pokemon.
Phaedra: Can someone please clean this up?
Kiyone: Mihoshi! We've got a job to do!
Mihoshi: Aw Kiyone, I'm watching Space Police Policemen!
Kiyone: grr…whiny little…
Ash is still crying stupid fag Phaedra sighed.
Phaedra: Well, since Ash still hasn't gotten under control yet, (glares at whiny baka) We'll havta have Anubis vs. Vegeta first.
Anubis: I'm still in a bad mood.
Phaedra: Cheer up, 'Nubis. Where's Vegeta?
Bulma: I'll look!
Phaedra: (sweatdrop) How the Hell did she git in here? I feel sorry for Trunks. Such idiot parents!
Bulma: (looks under table) Vegeta?
Everyone: (sweatdrop)
Hoshiko: (over intercom) Phaedra! Vegeta's already here!!
Phaedra: Come on, 'Nubis.
In the ring…
Lady Une: (she's the ref) Okay! Fight!
Ronins: Go Anubis!
DBZ peoples: Go Vegeta!
Bulma: (looking under a chair) Vegeta?
Vegeta: (glares at everyone)
Anubis: QUAKE WITH FEAR!! (chains wrap Vegeta up, choking him) Ha Ha Ha!
Vegeta is making gagging noises gee, I wonder why and Anubis is laughing his cute lil head off. Vegeta rips apart the chains and shoots an energy beam at Anubis.
Phaedra: WATCH OUT!
Anubis looks up, sees the beam, and dodges it.
Vegeta: (glares at Phaedra) You're not supposed to help!
Hoshiko: Shut yer hole! Anubis is way better looking and a better fighter than you'll EVER be!
Vegeta: Bring it on you- (gets cut off 'cause Anubis just stabbed him in the stomach with his staffthe
Ancient's
staff, not his *cough*- Oh, you wicked hentais, stop twisting my words! )Hoshiko+Phaedra: Yay! Anubis wins!
The Crowd puts their umbrellas as Vegeta explodes.
Hoshiko: eww!
Phaedra: (picking Vegeta pieces outta her hair) Gross!
Mihoshi and Kiyone, disgusted, begin cleaning up the ring.
Ash: (sniffling) I'll get revenge for my friend Pikachu!
He (?) grabs Duo by the throat. Duo just grins and pokes Ash in the eye.
Duo: Die!
Ash: ow!
Phaedra + Hoshiko: Ash! Yer 'posed to fight HEERO, not Duo! Git yer whiny ass in the ring!
In the ring…
Lady Une: I want a fair fight! No ball grabbing! Not like Ash has any…
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Ash: Huh?
Everyone: Ash! You dumb-ass!
Ash: What!? I don't know what he's saying!
Phaedra: Come on, Hee-chan!
Heero: (takes out self-destruct device from his spandex!) hn.
Duo + Phaedra: NO!!
Heero: Nani?
Hoshiko: Heero, you don't need to self-destruct. Ash ain't hard.
Heero: Hn. (turns to Ash, pulls out a gun from hammerspace) Omae o korosu.
Gboys, Phaedra + Hoshiko: Go Heero!!
Misty: Go Ash!
Everyone turns and looks at Misty.
Misty: (sweatdrop) Am I the only one rooting for Ash?
Duo: Yup!
Ash: I still don't know what he's saying!
Everyone: Shut up and fight!
Heero shoots. Ash screams and falls over. Heero shoots again.
Ash: (dies)
Heero keeps shooting. Phaedra and Hoshiko are laughing so hard they're crying.
Duo: Wow.
Quatre: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Heero: Damn. I'm out of bullets. (sees Ash) Oh.
Everyone except Misty: Yay!
Just then, Milliardo + Treize walk in.
Hoshiko: Oh!
Heero: (points at Milliardo) Omae o korosu.
Millardo: Yeah, I know! Can't it wait?
Heero: Hn. (walks to staff room)
Phaedra: Oh, I wanna go with him!
Hoshiko: Calm yerself!
Phaedra: (sigh) Next fight-Milliardo + Treize vs. Wolfwood + Vash !
Vash: (spinning gun) Hi!
Phaedra + Hoshiko: Hi Vash!
Wolfwood: (carrying cross into ring) Phew!
Phaedra + Hoshiko: Stupid priest.
In the ring…
Milliardo shoots Wolfwood. Blunt, aren't I?
Wolfwood: Oh god! (falls down)
Milliardo: Damn! He's still alive!
Vash: (speaking to Treize) I don't want to kill you.
Treize: Well, you seem like an honorable-
Vash: Got any wine?
Treize: Do I! (looks over at Milliardo, who is stomping on Wolfwood's head) Come on, Milliardo, we're going drinking!
Milliardo: Yes, your Excellency.
Vash: Yay!
The three hotties then proceed to the staff room.
Phaedra: Well, that was, uh, interesting.
Everyone: (sweatdrop)
Phaedra: Right Hoshiko? (looks around) Hoshiko? (sees her friend hanging on Milliardo) Well, It's time for intermission!
She leaves to join the party and get drunk.
Phaedra: (walks in the staff room) Hi!
Hoshiko: (half-drunk~already!~sitting on Milliardo's lap, playing with his hair) 'Sup?
Phaedra: (takes a running leap and lands on 'Nubis) Nutin' much.
Anubis: oof.
Phaedra: Where's Heero?
Treize: (points to bathroom) With Duo.
Phaedra: Is it locked?
Everyone: agh! (throws stuff at Phaedra)
Phaedra: What!?
Soon…
Phaedra: Wow, 'Nubis, yer hair is RED!
Anubis: Yeah…
Hoshiko: 'Nubi, can ya pass the wine?
Anubis: Yeah…
Bulma: (looking under an empty wine bottle) Vegeta?
Anubis: Goddamnit Bulma! Vegeta is DEAD!
Bulma runs away, crying.
Everyone: (mass sweatdrop)
Phaedra: Hey! Where's Vash?
Treize: He left a bit ago.
Milliardo: He said something about insurance girls.
Phaedra: (shrugs, looks at Treize) Dude! You've got forked eyebrows like 'Nubis!
Hoshiko: (talking to Treize and Anubis) Are ya brothers?
Treize + Anubis: Dunno…
Milliardo: Wow, Hoshiko, you smell nice…
Hoshiko: hehehe
Meanwhile…
Serena: Wasn't intermission supposed to be over a while ago?
Mina: I'll be announcer!
Wufei: This is boring. (looks at Trowa) See? Trowa's in a trance.
Trowa: No, I'm not.
Wufei: (spots Bulma) Uh, I'll be right back. (grins and leaves to kill a certain blue-haired dumb-ass)
Mina: Okay! I'm replacing Phaedra + Hoshiko for now!
Everyone: (groans)
Mina: Uh, I guess it's Gohan + Goku vs. Ryoko + Ayeka.
Meanwhile…
Lady Une: Mr. Treize? Are you drunk?
Treize: Yeah…
John: (suddenly walks in) Hey! It's Aboobis!
Phaedra: His name's ANUBIS!!
Hoshiko: How the HELL did he git in here anyway!?
Phaedra: Yeah, he doesn't even watch these shows!
Anubis: (takes Treize's gun) Bye! (shoots John)
John: (dies)
Phaedra: Good Riddance!
Hoshiko: To bad rubbish! (turns to Milliardo) Is there more wine love?
Milliardo: Dunno, ask Treize.
Treize: (happily filling up everyone's glasses) Lady Une, would you like some?
Lady Une: Gladly, sir.
Treize: Just call me Treize. (pinches Lady Une's butt-he must be really drunk)
In the ring…
Ryoko: (shoots beams at Gohan, laughing evilly) DIE! Yer ugly! (Gohan punches her) Damn you!
Chichi: Don't teach my baby bad words!
Wufei: DIE! (he's having too much fun, kills Chichi) Bitch.
Meanwhile…
Phaedra: Hey… the bathroom door's unlocked…heh heh heh (almost gets hit by a chair) WHO'S
THROWIN' CHAIRS!?
Everyone: (drunkenly) Uh…?
Phaedra: Never mind. (falls down)
Meanwhile…
Mina: What a show of blood, snot and tears!
Everyone: (sweatdrop) Uh, Mina? That's blood, SWEAT and tears.
Mina: Whatever!
Wufei: Can I shoot anyone else?
Trowa: There's not many girls in DBZ.
Wufei: No onnas for me to kill? That's INJUSTICE!
In the ring…
Ayeka: Isn't Goku supposed to be dead?
Ryoko: We can fix that! (makes a beam sword)
Gohan: (suddenly appears in front of her they do that ALL THE TIME in DBZ -_-;; ) YAA!
Ryoko stabs him but he gets up again stupid dumb-fuck
Ayeka: Ahh! Lord Tenchi! Save me! (falls down, dead 'cause Ryoko decided to shut her up-Yay!)
Ryoko: heh-heh Sorry I couldn't resist.
Hoshiko: (her and Phaedra just came back) That was great, Ryoko! Uh, Phaedra, you okay?
Phaedra: Yeah…(pops some Advil)
Hoshiko: Dumb-ass! How many of those did you take!?
Phaedra: Hmm…I think 4. As long as I don't exceed 6 in 24 hours, I'll be fine.
Hoshiko: Okaaay…(sees Mina) What are you doing here?
Mina: Stealing the show! (starts singing)
Crowd: AHHHHHHHH!
Mioshi + Kiyone: Here! (starts handing out earplugs)
Everyone: That's better!
Wufei: INJUSTICE! (runs and pushes Mina off the announcer's stand)
Mina: @_@ I'm okay…
Hoshiko: Back to the fight! Ayeka is dead, and somehow Gohan's alive.
Phaedra: Is it possible for a little boy to have muscles like that!?
Gboys: (look at arms) Hey! That's not fair! Trowa: I work out. Other Gboys: So do we! Ryoko: Will. You. Die. Already! (stabs Gohan at each period) Goku: (punches Ryoko) Leave my son alone! Ryoko: (stabs Goku) Gohan: Daddy! Ryoko does a whirling blade attack (Link's not the only one!) and slices Gohan and he dies! Yay! Goku: (now severely pissed off) You're EVIL!! I will destroy you! Phaedra + Hoshiko: Go Ryoko! Goku: (points at girls) You're evil too! Phaedra + Hoshiko: Thank you! Bwhahaha! Ryoko, getting quite bored with the fight me too, I thank all that are still reading this thinks of her beloved Tenchi, home with Sasami and Washu. This horrifies her and she flies up, making a hole in the roof, on her way home. Kiyone + Mihoshi follow in a small spaceship, making a even bigger hole. Sage: WOOHOO! Nice ass shot! Mia: (screams and decks Sage) Phaedra: (looks up at the hole) Now rain's gonna git in here! Hoshiko: Maximum suckage! Goku: I win! Heero: (crashes in with his gundam ~ it's the Wing Zero custom, my fave!) No, you don't. Everyone runs like hell. Heero blows Goku up, along with the whole damn ring. Itai! That one hurt 'em! hehehe Hoshiko: wow. Phaedra: That sucks! (looks at Heero + Duo) Well, I guess you guys finally came out of the bathroom. Duo: (blushes) Heero: (Yuy Death Glare) Omae o korosu. Phaedra: And yet, you never do. Heero: (glares again) Treize: It's okay! We can go to my private stadium. Phaedra + Hoshiko: Yay! Treize leads them to his plane (his really BIG plane, might I add) and everyone boards. Treize's arena… Hoshiko + Phaedra: Roses!! ^_^ In the ring… Misty is waiting (damn! We should've left her behind!) Hoshiko: Who is Misty fighting? Phaedra: Dorothy Catalonia! Quatre: Oh no! Hoshiko: Poor baby. Duo: (pats Quatre on the head) We'll protect you! Trowa give Quatre a little hug. Hoshiko: How cute! Wufei: I'm gonna be sick. Misty looks at her watch (does she wear one? shrug) Dorothy: (bursts in) I'm here! (jumps in ring, foil in hand) Quatre: AHHH! (runs from the room) Trowa calmly gets up and goes after him while in the ring, Misty runs around like an idiot avoiding getting stabbed by Dorothy. Dorothy: DIE! HA! Misty: Go! Starmie! Water Gun! Starmie: (makes weird sound, shoots water at Dorothy) Duo: (from announcer's stand) THE GOD OF DEATH IS BACK FROM HELL!! (shoots Starmie) Starmie: (dies) Dorothy: (unharmed-what can water do to ya anyway?) Thanx Duo! (stabs Misty) Misty: (dies) Quatre and Trowa walk in, but when Dorothy winks at Quatre, he turns and runs outta the room again. Trowa sighs and goes after him-again. Dorothy: Well, I gotta go, I have wars to plan! (runs off, laughing evilly) Treize: She's crazy, ne Wufei? Wufei: Don't talk to me Kushrenada! Dishonorable kisama! I'm going to finish you now! Milliardo, Hoshiko +Phaedra: NO! Milliardo puts himself between Wufei and Treize. Phaedra and Hoshiko each grabbed one of Wufei's arms. Wufei: Baka Onnas! Hoshiko: You CAN'T kill Treize! Wufei: Oh yes I can! Phaedra: I cried myself to sleep the first time I saw that episode! Wufei: I don't care! Let go of me! Injustice! With the help of Milliardo and Duo (who were more than happy to oblige) the two girls manage to stuff Wufei in a closet. Wufei: (muffled) Kisamaaa! Hoshiko: Yeah, you know he just wants to kill ya 'cause he likes ya. Treize: *cough* Er… Hey! Isn't it time for the main event? Phaedra: Yeah! The Ronins + Mia vs. The Sailors + Mia! Those 12 get into the ring (must be a pretty big ring!) and begins their hour-long transformations. Everyone yawns. Mia looks at her watch. Mia: Wait! (gets an idea and starts attacking Tuxedo Mask while he's transforming) Hoshiko: It's about time someone figgered that out! The match was getting boring, with the Ronins and Sailors shouting out attacks and Tuxedo Mask trying to beat Mia over the head with his cane. Sage: WOOHOO! (tries to pick up Lita, whom he thinks is hot and she punches him) The Ronins were about to combine into the Armor of Inferno when the roof crashes in! Phaedra: HOLY SHIT! Duo: Oh my god! Those bastards! They killed Tuxedo Mask! Sitting on top of a piece of roof and a squished Tuxedo Mask were Kayura, Dais, Sekhmet and Cale. Cale: Oops. Sekhmet: Ronin Warriors! We will destroy you! Ryo: Yer mother wears army- (gets cut off 'cause Hoshiko threw her microphone at him) ITAI! Kayura + the Warlords laugh evilly and run away, the Ronins following behind, all tramping over Tuxedo Mask. Mia and Anubis start to leave also but… Phaedra and Hoshiko pull out lassoes. Hoshiko: Yer not goin' ANYWHERE, 'Nubi! Phaedra: Gotcha! Anubis sweatdrops as the 2 insane announcer girls reel him in just like a fish. It doesn't seem that Serena has registered Darien being dead, or maybe she just doesn't care. The Sailors leave with the prize money and a few hotties from the audience. Hoshiko + Phaedra start to leave with their "prize" in tow, but, for the second time in 5 minutes, something crashes in through the roof. Treize: Can't they use the door? Phaedra: AHHH! It's Relena! (terrified screams are heard in the background) Relena: HEEEEEE-(gets cut off 'cause Phaedra threw her microphone at the scary-ugly-bitchy-pacifist-stalker damn! Now there are no more microphones to throw -_-,) Phaedra: Shut up, Bitch! (jumps down into ring) Relena: Ha Ha I know your weakness! Phaedra: Unh? Relena pulls out…Dun dun dun! A lemon! Phaedra: AHHHHHHH!!!!! Hoshiko: Kisama! You know Phaedra's got lemon-phobia! (pulls out gun) DIE! (shoots the lemon, then shoots Relena in the head) Only *I* can torment Phaedra with lemons! Much to everyone's horror, Relena gets up! Duo: Her head must be made of wood! Phaedra + Hoshiko: Wood…? (they grin evilly. Hoshiko jumps down to join Phaedra.) Heero: That would explain a lot. Trowa: (knocks on Relena's head) That's wood all right. Phaedra + Hoshiko grin wider and they pull out their lighters (Phaedra's says 'I've been naughty, now it's time to spank my evil butt' and Hoshiko's says 'Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over') Phaedra + Hoshiko: BONFIRE! Minutes later… Phaedra: Treize-sama? Treize: Hai? Phaedra: Got marshmallows? END *Hope ya enjoyed my lil fanfic (actually it was pretty long!) I still don't know who threw that chair at my poor character! If I killed off one of yer fav character, well, that's just to bad fer you! Anyway, it's just a fanfic ^_^ Oops! Wufei's still in the closet! Just another lil note-okay, This took me *forever* to type! I just want ya to know that I'm not afraid of lemons anymore ^_^ so you can forget sending me them…or you could…it's actually quite scary how much I like 'em now…Raiandra says so.