"Hey Ryuzaki,"
"What is it, Light?"
"I have an important question, for you and others to answer, because my life is ruined because of all this crap."
"Hm? What crap are you implying, exactly?"
"I can't take it anymore!"
"…"
"People, what's wrong with you?"
"Um, Light, who are you talking to?"
"Them! The ones that keep accusing us!"
"Them? Ah, that gives a lot of detail of who 'Them' is, Light."
"I can understand if people enjoy a good laugh about it now and then, but people actually take it seriously!"
"Take what seriously?"
"Well, Ryuzaki…"
"Yes?"
"People, think we're… queer."
"?"
"Don't you get it? People think we're GAY!"
"…"
"Helllo? Ryuzaki?"
"I'm sorry. For the first time ever I feel like I'm going to throw up."
"I KNOW! It's come to the point in life of this world where if two guys are friends, they're automatically gay?! Now its uncomfortable, isn't it?"
"Indeed. I should go online and see exactly why it is people would think that."
"Uh, you don't wanna do that."
"Why not?"
"That's where I got this, Gay information from, and you're not going to like what you find."
"Oh. Well let's just look at some facts then, shall we?"
"Oh, okay."
"…"
"…"
"Well for starters, you never did really like Misa."
"What? So what? I dated a thousand other girls that I did actually like before her!"
"Yeah, but she's hot. Why would not even be at the least bit interested, Light?"
"Who cares how hot she is! Her head was as empty as a flower pot!"
"Hm, yes that is true. Okay, scratch that. What about when you were staring at me?"
"What, when you were eating that cake? I was just thinking about if I could really have been Kira."
"…Oh. Well who cares what you were thinking, you were still staring at me in a non-friendly way."
"Grr… Okay, what about you?"
"Me? What could I have possibly done to make us look gay?"
"…You're kidding, right?"
"…"
"How about…"
"No no, you don't have to say anything. I know what I might have done to ruin our reputation."
"I don't care if you know, I'm gonna say it anyway."
"…"
"How about the foot rub?"
"I like feet." :
"…"
"What?"
"I feel that you, Light Yagami, are my first ever friend."
"Well, you were! What's wrong with me saying that? Why the hell can't we just be friends and it be okay for me to say that?!"
"OO…"
"Sorry. This is all, so…"
"Interesting!"
"Ryuk, go away!"
"No way, this is too funny. Hyuk."
"Okay, laugh about it. But I can't handle this situation anymore."
"I agree, Light. Would you believe me if I told you I went out with girls, too?"
"…No."
"Why not? I could get a girl if I wanted to."
"hyuk hyuk hyuk!"
"Ryuzaki, you're too weird to get a girl."
"Maybe that's another reason they think we're gay. You think I can't get girls."
"Well, I think you could get a girl. That is, if you cleaned yourself up."
"Well thank you."
"You're welcome, friend."
"…"
"…"
"Can I see what was on the internet that made you think people say we're gay?"
"I don't think people say it, I KNOW people say it."
"Well all this talk isn't gonna help. Lemme look on the computer."
"…"
Click
"Oh My God…"
"I warned you, Ryuzaki."
"LOOK AT THIS SH…!"
"Okay, don't look at the…"
"Jeez! Look at all these fan fictions! Light/RaitoXL, L and Light, Yaoi?!"
"Yeah, I told you."
"Okay, Look PEOPLE! I, RYUZAKI, AM NOT GAY!
"And I, LIGHT YAGAMI, AM NOT GAY!"
"Hyuk, If neither of you are gay, then how come Light's last name Yagami backwards is, I'm A Gay?"
"…"
"…"
BOTH: "SHUT UP, RYUK!!"
BC737: sorry for wasting your time :)