English is not my native language!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…
Rating: PG-13 I think…
Warnings: This story does deal with a controversial theme. Well, controversial to some people I guess…
Note: Written for the "DQ Fanfic Quote Challenge 3".

Quotes are from the movie "Walk The Line" this time…

"WE SURRENDER! WE SURRENDER!"
"Y'all can't walk no line!"

"He was so good. He would have done so many good things. What have I done? Just hurt everybody I know. I know I've hurt you. I'm nothin'."

I've decided only to use the last quote. And I decided to cut it into pieces… :-)

Summary: Well, the title should say it all I guess… A forbidden love…

Forbidden Love

I love him. I really do. It has taken me a while to realize it though… to accept it… I hadn't noticed it the first time I saw him. Sure, there had been a feeling of admiration, a certain warmth that went through my body as I had taken in his appearance, but I hadn't realized it was love. A forbidden love…

Michael… His name turned out to be Michael. And I can tell you, he's the nicest guy I've ever met! I've never met anyone who cared more for other people than for himself. Always trying to help people, putting other peoples needs in front of his own. My needs for example…

The first time he told me he loved me I had been shocked. I ended up yelling at him, telling him that it was wrong, that he should see a doctor or something… He had just smiled and said that he knew I felt the same about him. I told him he was wrong and how sick he was for even thinking that. Then I had stalked off…

I avoided him for weeks, but the longer I was away from him; the more I realized he had been right. I had fallen in love with him… It had frightened me at first. Was this right? Was I allowed to be in love with him? What would people say? The townspeople wouldn't accept it, would they? Should I tell my family? Should I tell Dr. Mike? She'd be devastated… Would she help us?

So many thoughts wandering around in my head and I just couldn't decide what to do. Eventually I decided to tell Dr. Mike first about what was troubling me; maybe she could give me some advice. She had been shocked at first which had resulted in a very uncomfortable silence. I begged her to say something, but she just kept shaking her head. "Am I ill? Am I crazy?" I had asked her desperately, unable to keep myself from crying. Then she had taken me into her arms and had rocked me, telling me there was nothing wrong with me.

The relief I felt when she said those words: "There's nothing wrong with you…" I cried my heart out in her arms, feeling happy and sad at the same time. "I'll help you," Dr. Mike finally said to me. "You and Michael…"

And so she did… I finally found the courage to tell Michael I was in love with him too and Dr. Mike did everything in her power to keep our relationship a secret. If the townspeople ever found out, all hell would break loose. However, in a town like Colorado Springs it was impossible to keep things a secret forever…

Some townspeople had caught us in the woods. They had heard us talking. They had heard us expressing our love to each other. How embarrassing it had been for the both of us… But none of us could have known how our lives were about to change from that moment…

Within a day we went from being the nicest people in town tot the most despised ones. People avoided us, or called us names. Some even threatened us with violence. The lovely town I grew up in suddenly changed into a place I feared. I feared for my life and for Michael's…

I considered running, but Michael refused. "I will not run," he had said determinedly. "I'm not ashamed… I'm not ashamed for loving you… If that is a crime then let them hang me!" I knew he was right, but I knew that there were people out there who couldn't be reasoned with. What if they would hang him? The thought alone cut through me like a knife. "I can't lose you, Michael," I had said to him. "I never thought I would be able to love again… not after… I never thought I could love someone the way I love you… I don't think I can live without you…"

Michael had smiled and rubbed away a tear that had fallen down my cheek. "We are not going to run, love," he had said gently. "Not in a million years will I give them that satisfaction… And nor should you… This is not wrong! Our love is not wrong!" Unfortunately not everyone saw it that way…

One night, after a long walk through the woods, some men surrounded us. One grabbed me from behind and told me to watch carefully. "This is what we do with people like you!" the man had said. The other men grabbed Michael and beat and kicked him wherever they could. I remember screaming as hard as I could, begging them to stop, but it was to no avail. I struggled against the man who held me, but he was far stronger than I was.

In my experience the fight took hours. I even gave up screaming and simply watched how the other men nearly beat Michael to death. They probably would have if it wasn't for Sully, Robert E. and Hank who were able to break off the fight. The men fled immediately, but I couldn't care less about it. All I cared about was Michael.

My eyes were fixed on his motionless body and I truly feared the worst. My life flashed before my eyes, I started to shake and I'm sure I would have fallen down if it wasn't for Sully's words: "He's alive!" The words immediately brought me back to reality and I felt a flicker of hope.

And here I am now, sitting at his bedside, praying to every God I've ever heard off to keep him alive. I hear the door open behind me, but I don't need to look up to know who it is. I feel Dr. Mike's hand on my shoulder and she squeezes it gently. It's enough to make me break down in front of her.

"Why? Why did this have to happen? Why are people so short-sighted? What is wrong with two people loving each other?" I nearly scream out my frustration, my eyes never leaving Michael. I let out a sob. "He's so good… He would have done so many good things! He's better than anyone in this town! What have I done? I should have convinced him to run! I let him get hurt… Just hurt everybody I know! I know I've hurt you… I'm nothing…"

I feel Dr. Mike kneeling down next to me and she takes me in her arms. "You are not nothing!" she says softly. "You are a great person and Michael knows that… That's why he fell in love with you… I'm so sorry the two of you have to go through this… But he'll be alright, I assure you…"

Her words are soothing and I feel myself relaxing in her embrace. "I'm so glad I have you," I answer her. She just smiles and kisses my forehead. Then I turn my attention back to Michael who still hasn't moved a muscle. Feelings of worry rush through my body. "Where do we go from here?" I ask Dr. Mike softly. She sighs deeply and strokes my hair. "I don't know, Matthew," she answers. "I truly don't know…" I look at her helplessly, her compassionate stare enough for me to break into tears. And in her embrace I weep…

The End