It was terrible, to say the least. The day had gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours. To say that I wasn't excited for my junior year of high school would have been an utter lie. I really needed to get out of the house, since I had managed to be forced to stay in there the entire summer, save for a few days that I could hang out with Stan or Kenny or sometimes both. Mom was being rather picky about what I did during the summer. I still feel as though Cartman had something to do with it all. It was only a year ago that Cartman and I completely stopped talking all together; after the incident where he confessed his undying love for me. I still don't believe it for one second.

Of course, that story shall be told at another time.

For now, it's all about me and Stan.

Remember the time that Stan had become a Goth and had called himself Raven? Well, that was back when he was having some mental issues. I guess everyone has those times and those moments where they feel like they're all alone. Though, my reason is different; I really am alone.

Being an intelligent student, or should I say, someone who actually somewhat applies themselves, I am placed within all of the advance placement classes, leaving me with hardly anyone that I know. Even Cartman is seldom to be seen. Kenny and I only have lunch together, and as for Stan, I only see him for ten minutes before school starts. He had been bunked down to the lower level classes, leaving me to be completely and utterly alone for each and every school day.

You might be wondering if Stan and I are together. Well, the answer to that would be a 'yes.' Ever since Cartman had disappeared, Stan felt as though I needed someone. It had come to me as a complete surprise when he had asked me out, and with a blush that most likely rivaled with my hair, I feebly accepted. At the beginning, I inwardly questioned if this was a fake request or not. Though, after ten months or so, it's most likely safe to assume that we are a couple.

Anyway, this leads me to where I am now. It's only been a couple of days of school, and I can already sense that it's going to be a long year. For the first hour and a half, I'm in a sort of study hall while they decide what to do with the students. Then, with only a three minute passing time, I have to rush to Human Anatomy and Physiology, or in short, one of the classes with Cartman. It had been a while since I had last referred to him as 'asshole,' but that might be because I associated the name with such insult. It feels so foreign to hear his voice and immature comments ring throughout the classroom, and it's even worse when I'm attempting to do my work, and I can feel eyes burning holes into the back of my head. It's dreadful to feel it and not be able to look back to confirm if it's him or not, and the only reason why I never turn around would be in fear of getting in trouble with one of the school's strictest science teachers.

Don't worry; I'll spare you of all the details of my other classes. You know the uneventful ones such as English and History, or the ones that has a few people in them like Wendy or Kevin. So I might as well skip over those in favor of high school's most common class: Lunch. Our lunch is split up into a study hall type time and an actual lunch break. This was really the only time I was able to see Stan, and it was a rather nice time while he was there.

"So I figured you might be interested in some of these pictures that I found." Kenny had mused as he shoved the iPod touch across to my brunette boyfriend. The blond had gotten the device from one of his one night stands when the girl threw it at him for reasons even Kenny won't tell us. Regardless of the circumstances, it was a rather nice parting gift.

Stan's eyebrows furrowed before he smirked and returned the device back. From the look on the two faces, it was almost obvious that it had to do with naked women or something similar. I think it got to me a little that Kenny and Stan are both bi, though I never admit it out loud. I simply pulled my book up a little higher to block the two from my vision and began to read the same sentence I had been reading for the past five minutes. It wasn't long before my book was lowered, leaving me unprotected by vivid blue eyes from the boy next to me.

"Dude, are you okay?" I gave a light nod and a smile. He returned the gestures before continuing. "Do you want something to eat?" At this I shook my head. I had stopped eating during school, save for a couple of snacks here and there. I had lost my lunch period last year, and I had grown accustom to not needing the time to eat during school hours. I also hardly talked during that period, since I was never really in the mood to talk to begin with. Stan had noticed this long ago, and attempted to do something about it, but to no avail.

At my refusal to accepting food, he nodded and walked up to the lunch line along with the orange-clad blond, leaving me alone at the table. I slowly sunk back into my chair, feeling as though the loss of any friendly presence was eating away at my insides. And it probably was, or so it felt in my mind. Lunch had been this way yesterday, and it hadn't changed today. Though, during the beginning of the study hall, it was clear that the time that we had together was limited, or so it was told by the teacher who explained that Stan was not supposed to be in said class. As he looked at me one last time at the doorway, I felt my heart sink before he completely disappeared.

It had sickened me that the small little ray of luck that I had managed to obtain the first day of school was instantly shattered no more than 24 hours later. It was even worse that as I waited for him at my locker, since the new school programming had separated us into classes where lockers were assigned to pairs of two who were within the class, I had been informed by my brunette that he wouldn't be on the bus for several months due to football. I would be lying if I said that my eyes didn't fill with tears at the thought of it. I held my usual composure, however, and waved it off as nothing. At least he had the courtesy to tell me about it before I wondered why he hadn't joined me on the bus, along with walking me to my bus. As usual, he placed a quick kiss on my lips, followed by my forehead, before he had left in the direction from which we came. My composure instantly dissolved as I walked onto the bus and sat behind the only person I really seemed to recognize.

"Hey, Butters." I whispered as I sat down, my bag placed on the empty space where Stan usually occupied. I felt my throat tighten at the thought of him being so far away. I swear that someone was trying to kill me out of stress and loneliness.

The cheerful blond, however, seemed to be rather oblivious to my troubles, and I was rather thankful for it, since Stan would be rather guilty if he found out about it. "Hey Kyle!" He hummed in his sing song voice. Out of all the years I have known Butters, I still never understood how he could be so damn cheerful all the time. He didn't seem to notice that the raven-haired male wasn't currently present. He seemed too occupied with his thoughts, or whatever it was that kept Butters amused. To my slight dismay and relief, he didn't say anything to me for the rest of the bus ride. It almost left me lonelier than usual.

I had managed to sneak off the bus without anyone really noticing before I made my way into the empty house. Mom was probably out grocery shopping, Dad at work, and Ike stayed after for one of his extra curricular activities that he always managed to get into. Being in an empty house wasn't really anything new to me, since I had gotten so used to being by myself over the summer. It was always a hurtful thing to think of, and even right now, I can't remember what it was that I had done wrong to manage getting stuck in this situation. It was definitely frustrating.

But here I am now, lying down on the couch with a pillow in my arms, watching the news. I felt as though I needed something for comfort, and the pillow I am currently holding was the only thing I can hold without having to find another person. I felt pathetic. I had been sitting here for a couple of hours now, and I hadn't even really thought about a single thing that was going on within the news. It almost felt as though I was sleeping before the phone rang, knocking me out of my trance.

I had managed to reach the phone and answered it with a 'hello' as I rubbed my eyes. Stan's voice on the other side of the phone caused my jaw to clench as my stomach dropped. He apologized a million times, as he usually did after telling me plans without much notice beforehand. I laughed it off lightly, saying that it was perfectly fine. It usually was. I could hear the growing smile in his voice and I leaned forward, curls falling in front of my eyes as he spoke.

It wasn't long before my silence was noticed. He had stopped talking completely before picking back up on a completely different topic. "Kyle? Something's wrong, isn't it?"

I shook my head before realizing that it wouldn't do much good. "No, nothing's wrong. Honest." My voice was quiet and lifeless.

It was obviously clear when Stan was worried, since his voice seemed to rise to a higher volume and about half an octave higher than it usually is. "Dude, don't say that there's nothing wrong. I've been around long enough to know when something's wrong."

That's where you're mistaken…

"I know you," I cringed and he continued. "So you can tell me anything."

I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that he didn't know me like he claimed he did. Sure, we had been best friends for so long now, and even lovers, but I feel as though he would have sensed my pain and loneliness long before this happened. I couldn't answer him, though. I had a hard time saying anything to him at all. "I…" I began. I simply repeated that simple letter several times as I attempted to collect my thoughts in a way that I might be able to express what I was thinking. Inside I was crying. How could Stan know me better than I do? No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't get my mind to wrap around that single concept.

Luckily, before I had to figure out how to answer, my mom had opened the door and called for me. I nearly sighed in relief. Stan was about to say something, but I had interrupted him. "Sorry, dude. I have to go. My mom's here. I'll talk to you later, 'kay?" I was about to hang up, but instead pulled the phone back to my ear. "I love you." I whispered into the phone, half to me, and also as a way of making sure my mom didn't hear it. Before she had a chance to even walk into the living room (and before Stan could say anything else,) I hung up and placed the phone back on the receiver. Sitting up, I had managed to place the pillow back in its original place just in time for my mom to walk past the opening of the living room.

"Hello Kyle. How was school?" It was the same question every day after school, and the answer was always the same.

"It was good Mom. Tell Ike he can use the TV. I'll be up in my room studying." I was a lie, of course. I never studied that much on the first couple days of school, since nothing ever happened. I walked up to my room and fell face first into my bed after the door had been shut. This was going to be the longest 178 days of school ever.

So, uh, yeah. I guess this might have to do with my (inner) loneliness throughout school. Ever had those times where you feel like one of your favorite characters should suffer with you? Well, maybe that's what I did here...

Anyway, Read and review and yada yada. There will most likely be more chapters later on, but we'll see, of course. But, if I do get less lazy and do decide to type the story with Kyle and Cartman, I will. Of course, that does depend on how many people think that would be a good idea...Leave a comment and whatnot to tell me what you think.

Also, rated T for later chapters. Who knows what will happen later? Just being cautious is all.